C's Loving Domestic Discipline Blog

Hello Readers!

2008-06-12T10:02:00.006+01:00

Dear readers,

I am so sorry for not writing for such a long time. I am not even sure if anyone visits this site any more? I have been incredibly busy. I will try, however, to post more frequently.

I am in the process of writing a book on all disciplinary aspects from the inner child all the way up to the inner slut. Some of the disciplines are not solely dependent on pain (particularly the inner child) but on deeper levels of humiliation. Deeper levels of humiliation in turn unlock the very centre of a woman's submission. It is only through the very deepest humiliation can a woman truly come face to face with the very heart of her submission. In doing so, the book hopes to clarify that there would no longer be any limits or barriers to "any" disciplinary technique. Many barriers are psychological blocks. By overcoming these blocks the woman will have reached the ultimate and absolute depth to her submission.

I hope to have this book finished early next year, or even sooner if time prevails! ;-)

Respectfully,

~C~

Essay – When the HOH Does Something Wrong

2007-10-27T23:56:00.000+01:00

This essay will examine the possibilities of when the male HOH (Head of House) does something wrong and how the woman should react from a Loving Domestic Discipline perspective. This is an incredibly sensitive topic, and quite a difficult issue to discuss, but nevertheless, it is one which frequently crops up in various LDD discussions. I believe that it is both important and necessary for submissive women to know how to best approach issues such as this. However, due to this highly sensitive subject I hope not to cause offence to any HOHs reading this essay. If I do then I most humbly apologise.

It is extremely important to stress that “wrongness” as discussed in this essay, does not mean questioning our HOHs rules simply because they do not suit us as women! It is imperative for the women reading this essay to understand this. In a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship any masculine wrongness ONLY comes into question if and when the HOH has foreseen his mistake and told his woman about it. Good leaders always admit to having made a mistake - it is part of their true greatness and integrity as men. The HOH after all sees the bigger picture, often a picture women are not always aware of. What women may foolishly perceive as “wrong” may turn out perfectly “right” in the end. We do not always know our HOHs plan. He makes the rules and we follow. The HOH is supreme ruler of his household. The woman succumbs to a male led relationship and unquestioningly obeys his authority.

No HOH is incapable from making mistakes. No HOH is infallible. HOHs are not God or godlike. They are human and make errors like the rest of us. The only difference is that when a woman does something wrong she is accountable for her misbehaviour to her HOH and is punished for it via lovingly applied discipline. When the HOH does something wrong he is accountable to no one but himself or God. For this reason it can be especially hard when the HOH does make a mistake, it can be especially isolating for him. As women we know that a spanking has the powerful effect of instantly absolving any guilt we have felt prior to our correction. The aftermath of our spanking leaves us cleansed, reconnected, redeemed and forgiven as we weep remorsefully in our HOH’s arms. But when the HOH does something wrong, more often than not he becomes scrutinised and doubted by his woman in his resolve as an effective leader and HOH.

I think as women we demand too much from our HOH - we can sometimes place unrealistic and godlike expectations on him. Whilst it is true that our HOH is in a position of authority and leadership, he is nevertheless a man and not someone with superhuman powers. People in authority do make mistakes, but this does not change the fact that they are in authority. Sometimes our HOHs decisions are right and sometimes they are wrong. It is a submissive wife’s duty to accept this and expect the inevitability that mistakes can and will be made.

What should the woman do when the HOH does something wrong?

It is the woman’s duty as a loving partner or wife to support her HOH through whatever wrong decision or action he may have made. It is a woman’s duty as a loving wife to forgive her HOH, just like the many times he has forgiven her. With her love, submission, understanding and support her HOH will cherish his woman for this strength. Some people wrongly assume that a submissive woman is weak, but nothing can be further from the truth. It can be at highly emotionally tense times like these that the woman’s submission and strength are tested to their limits.

Whilst it is true that a wife has many duties of love and support to her husband, as a LDD wife her responsibilities are increased. When a leader makes a mistake he is often the one who will suffer the most. Men do not talk about emotional problems with friends in the same way as women. When a leader makes a mistake (particularly if it is a big one) he will often question his own leadership skills and authority. It is extremely difficult for the HOH to exert authority over his wife if he has done something wrong. It is, therefore, imperative for the woman to show inordinate amounts of submission, obedience and respect so as to boost her HOH’s resolve. This will show him that she will always yield to his decisions and understands when mistakes are made.

HOHs will only start to forgive themselves if his loving wife has forgiven him. Usually being verbally told you forgive someone is not as affective as being shown that you forgive them. Both verbally telling and physically showing the HOH that he is forgiven is paramount to re-establishing harmony and balance in the home. The quiet non-verbal acts of everyday service she performs as a loving submissive wife will encourage her HOH that he is a good, valued and worthy leader.

Many women who are new to the Loving Domestic Discipline relationship feel that it is not fair that their HOH is not spanked for doing something wrong, when they themselves are spanked for wrong doing. It takes a while for these women to understand the dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. The most fundamental reason for so many women desiring to live in a LDD relationship is to discover their submission and true femininity. Once they start to recognise and welcome their submissive urges and instincts they become immersed in their own feminine centre and sexuality. The discovery of their true feminine nature makes them reconnect with both their inner child and inner slut. Such reconnection makes them much more at peace and harmony with themselves. Growing deeper in submission is the one objective that women strive for in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship and this can only be achieved by adhering to male authority.

When a man takes authority over his household and becomes HOH his wife must learn very quickly that any decision he makes is his to make. His wife may offer her opinions and talk to her HOH at some length, but at the end of the discussion, the HOH makes the final decision. He may change his mind later, but he alone has the overall responsibility for his family. A submissive wife should never question her husband’s authority. I believe that one of the reasons for the decline in marriage and why so many people have returned to LDD, is that society has taught us to view family life as individuals. Viewing life from an egotistically individualistic perspective severely hampers us from the unity and partnership required in a marriage. Being a partnership means acting as a team, the husband being the head of that team and his wife the helpmate of that team. As with all teams - rules prevail, the HOH sets those rules and his woman obeys.

It is only natural for the woman to be angry with her HOH, but she must exercise self-control and not allow her emotions to take over. She must take time to reflect on what went wrong and what part (if any) she had in her HOH’s wrong doings. It is her duty as a wife and part of her marriage vows to aid and support her husband through any problems he may have inadvertently caused.

Sometimes looking at the suffering of others can take the pain of our own suffering away, or lessen it considerably. Sometimes looking at people who have shown particular courage can overshadow our own suffering. One broadcast I found particularly memorable, was the remarkable strength of character Alan Johnston, the BBC Gaza correspondent showed when he was held in captivity. In a recent Panorama documentary, he revealed that the only thing that he had that the guards could not take away, was his self-control. He refused to break down into depression and kept his mind as active and positive as possible. Watching him speak, I couldn’t help thinking what remarkable leadership/HOH qualities he had. Most people would have broken down at the prospect of thinking that everyday may be their last. Not many people can claim such strength of character.

Strength of character is something that women must work on. Women living the Loving Domestic Discipline way of life are not doormats or spineless individuals. As women admire men who show strength of character as true leaders, men also admire women who show strength of character. If something were to happen to the HOH where the woman must fend for herself, then the HOH must know that his woman is strong and capable. If the HOH makes a big mistake where the repercussions will affect the whole family, the HOH needs to know that his woman is strong and capable to help pull him and their family through. Sometimes women can be so wrapped up in their own (relatively small) sufferings that they don’t look at all the wonderful things that they do have. Health, wealth and family life can become almost like a given right, so that when things do go wrong it can seem like a devastation.

It is important for women to realise that there is no pain too great. Even trust once broken can be rebuilt…

What the woman should not do when the HOH does something wrong!

Women engaging in a Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle should never lose control of their emotions. Whilst emotions are good, positive and natural, losing control by allowing rage and anger to consume the woman is very bad. If the woman does lose control and starts yelling, throwing objects, cussing or (heaven forbid) physically lashing out at her HOH, she should be spanked immediately, swiftly and severely – no matter what crime her HOH is guilty of! The woman would not be spanked for her HOH’s wrong doing (as some women foolishly think) but would be punished for her own wrongful attitude and/or misbehaviour regarding her HOH’s wrong doing.

Some women think that if the HOH does something wrong then they are miraculously let off the hook. They mistakenly think that they have gained the moral high ground and can let their emotions run riot. Such feminine misbehaviour should be severely dealt with. The dynamics of Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is all to do with the synergy between the masculine and feminine energies. The woman has gone to great lengths to remain at her most submissive and the HOH has gone to great lengths to keep her there. The woman should value her submission more than anything else, since it is an integral part of her. Her submission is who she is, what she is and how she behaves. Coming out of this most natural and feminine state for even a moment, would jeopardise the woman’s true identity and expression of her womanhood. If the woman is in an absolute rage and feels that her emotions are ready to wreak havoc, then she should submissively ask her HOH to spank her (pre-emptively or stress relief) in order for her to maintain her optimum level of submission. Once the woman has been soundly spanked and has reached catharsis, she is then in a position to calmly talk to her HOH about any hurt feeling she may have. Discussing her sorrow of being let down by her HOH after a spanking can be very effective since the woman will now be in a calmer state of mind and heart. After her spanking the woman will be more coherent, thus will be in a position to apply reasoning as to why her HOH did what he did. Such reasoning leads to a greater understanding and true empathy and compassion for how her HOH must be feeling, which in turn leads to true healing and forgiveness.

Sometimes the woman may be perfectly calm, but may submissively offer herself to be spanked as a way of releasing her HOH’s tension. At other times the woman may be calm but may miss this wonderful opportunity of submissive service to her HOH. Her HOH can instruct a “just because” spanking himself to relieve his stress, or can instigate a “submission spanking” to his woman for not being alert to his needs by submissively offering this herself.

When the HOH does something wrong or hurtful, the first thing that many women feel they must to do, is talk to their female friend. Whilst it is only natural that she may want to do this, such an action could have serious repercussions, particularly if her friend is not from a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. If the female is her friend and not a mutual friend, then any support that the woman will receive will be bias and may not consider the HOH or the unity of their marriage. Furthermore, since women’s emotions have a habit of becoming overwrought and over exaggerated, when the two women get together all havoc could let lose. Any support could result in making things worse by spurring the woman onto increased bouts of rebellion and other misbehaviour. So, at best, talking with another female could result in idle and hurtful gossip about the HOH, or at worse, the female friend may have planted ideas of divorce and other terminally infectious thoughts into the woman. The female friend may even make the woman feel guilty or weak for wanting to stay with her HOH.

Discussing problems with another submissive woman would be ideal, particularly if the other woman is from a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. A woman who submissively lives the same lifestyle would be best suited to giving advice, offering support and a shoulder to cry on. This is because the submissive friend would strive to encourage and support her friend’s submission to her HOH at this difficult time. As a counterbalance it would be even better to also seek advice with another HOH, particularly if he is a friend of the woman’s HOH. The one good solid thing which men are renowned for is that they don’t allow their emotions to take control of them. Asking another HOH is also a good choice because he will be able to examine her HOHs wrong doing objectively, from a masculine perspective and then offer his views accordingly.

To conclude,

In a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship a HOH’s wrongness can only be regarded as a mistake if he tells his woman that he has made a mistake. All acts of wrongness that the woman “perceives” or “imagines” should be put down to feminine interference/control and punished accordingly. HOHs are not godlike or infallible and are prone to human errors, like everyone else. This does not detract or discredit them from being good leaders and HOHs.

A lovingly submissive wife should always strive to support her HOH by forgiveness, compassion and understanding. Her submissive acts of service to her HOH will encourage her HOH’s resolve as her leader when he may doubt his own strengths in this area. Maintaining submission, even in the bleakest times is imperative. Discontinuing a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship in trying times would be like throwing the baby out with the bath water. It is at the times when our lives hit rock bottom, that the need for the stabilising effects of LDD are most needed.

Self-control at these testing times is paramount. The woman should not allow her emotions to control her. The woman should submissively ask for stress relief spankings to relieve some of her pent up anger and frustration. Any outward displays of passion or tantrums should be punished severely. The woman should also offer herself to be spanked as a way of helping her HOH to alleviate his stress. Offering this service is a non-verbal service which strengthens and re-establishes the HOH’s authority. This small act of service is especially important when the HOH’s beliefs in himself as leader might be wavering.

Discussing private matters with a third party should be broached very carefully. Choosing a friend who is in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would be ideal. Any support offered would include the couple as a unit and not from an individual perspective. Any support would strive to reinforce the woman’s submission and obedience to her HOH’s authority. Choosing a LDD friend would be highly beneficial, since all support given would strive to put them back in touch with the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, which is all about building stronger marriages by creating unity, harmony, forgiveness and love.

Announcement - Changes

2007-10-19T00:48:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I have been busy making several changes on this site. The first change is the creation of a new site, C's loving Domestic Discipline Bulletin Board where all the news and announcements will be posted from now on. Initially, when I posted an announcement, my intention was to delete it as soon as it was obsolete. However, many dear readers wrote comments under these announcements, so there was no sure way of deleting the post without deleting reader's comments as well. The Bulletin Board will hold all the announcements in one place which seems more practical and can be accessed by following the link "Announcements" on the right hand side of this page, above the "Previous Posts" section. This will be my last announcement posting on this site, so I urge you dear readers to frequently visit the Bulletin Board if you want to keep updated with the latest news in the LDD community. There is some talk of another LDD get together (organised by someone else) so if you missed the conference in Atlanta, new plans are being drawn out, as I speak!

The second change I made was to add just a little information of who I am into the "My Complete Profile" section. It is very unfortunate that within the LDD community people are desperately holding onto their anonymities. But to raise awareness of this wonderful lifestyle we are going to have to come out of hiding at some point. By staying hidden, we are inadvertently telling people who do discover us, that we are hiding because we are ashamed to be practising Loving Domestic Discipline. I am just as guilty of this as the majority of LDD practitioners, but hopefully I will continue to make steady progress in being less guarded. Another problem with staying hidden is that we are never going to achieve a society that readily accepts or even favours the traditional marital aspects that LDD has to offer. It is our responsibility to take steps to create a better world for our children, where they can grow in the comfort and confidence of who they are, what their gender identity is and what their future roles are as a steadfast HOH and naturally submissive wife.

All my best to you all,

~C~

Unkind Comments

2007-10-11T14:11:00.000+01:00

Although negative comments are extremely rare, there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly hurt when people do attack the LDD lifestyle. I have tried to step back and analize why I am affected so much? I think that the answer (for me at least) is very simple. LDD is a fundamental part of me and expresses who I am as a woman at a very deep level; therefore, to attack LDD is a blatant discrimination of me, of who I am. When I first came into the blogging world, I came with a defence built around me, protecting my femininity. If anyone were to attack the LDD lifestyle back then, I would have attacked back with the same ferocity. However, belonging to a community has gradually allowed me to cast off my layers of defence. It has made me accept, understand and truly value who I am. But, coming out of my shell has unfortunately left me vulnerable to being hurt when (in the rare times) attack does come my way.

I have never really been overly comfortable calling LDD a “lifestyle,” I only do so since this is how it is often referred to. Living in a LDD relationship is instinctual. A lifestyle implies that there is an element of choice of whether you follow the criteria set up, or choose to ignore it. LDD is not a lifestyle choice (for me at least) since it is a necessary component which answers that which is deeply embedded and woven into the fabric of who I am. I cannot disengage from it; I have no choice but to live and breathe it. Any attack on LDD, therefore, is a personal attack on my womanhood.

Perhaps people do not realise the hurt that thoughtless comments can make? After all, an attack on someone who may be in the BDSM community or is a Spanko, perhaps wouldn’t cut as deep? This is because people choose to follow their particular kinks by engaging in BDSM or fun type of spankings because they want to. They have a choice in the matter, once they get bored they move onto new horizons – fetishes can and do change. I, on the other hand, do not have a choice; the implementation of LDD is an integral part of me as a woman. LDD is naturally consensual, so in that respect (at least at the very beginning of the relationship) a choice needs to be made. However, as time progresses, many women feel that LDD becomes a necessary expression of their femininities. It becomes a necessity (rather than choice) since it enables them to express the very depths of their femininity and submission - the epitome of who they are as women.

Even during day to day engagements with her HOH, a woman can feel immersed in his masculine energy. Even the most subtle “covertly” sexual responses from him, make her feel the inner stirrings from deep within her womanhood. It doesn’t even have to be directly sexual, just the sound of his voice, his movements, the sight of his belt or his very presence can instil inordinate amounts of respect and submission in the woman. Some critics of LDD may disagree and question whether submission has anything to do with femininity. I believe (from personal experience)that submission brings a woman deeply in touch with her inner psyche, where she becomes aware of her true expressions of self; her realization of what it is to be a true woman; her awareness of her sexual femininity and inner slut instincts.

I have spent too many years of my life feeling guilty and apologising for my innate desires to express my submission and surrender myself to the influence of a powerful man. But now, I refuse to feel guilty for my natural instincts and urges. After all, why should I when they are completely normal and inborn? I do accept that there may be people who do not understand LDD, which is quite understandable. There are many things that I do not profess to understand. But in not understanding something, I would never feel myself worthy to judge, condemn or criticise.

Homemade Implements

2007-10-07T21:10:00.000+01:00

Thank you to the HOHs who have sent details on how to make various implements!

Below is a description of their craftsmanship.

Eric wrote:

Some ideas on making paddles.

A good paddle is, in my opinion, like a good woodworking tool. It is well balanced, solidly constructed, comfortable and safe to use. In short, it does the job it is intended for and becomes a pleasure to use (at least for the HOH). This is one very good reason for making your own since shop bought paddles are unlikely to have all of the right features to suit you. Another reason is that it is a simple construction that is well within the skills of anyone with even modest woodworking experience. My personal preferences are for paddles that are:

Constructed of a good quality wood – I usually recycle "found" hard woods from a variety of sources and some of these are excellent for the job. They are dense, so are more effective during punishment but even more important, they can be shaped and smoothed without any splits or splinters so often found in cheaper woods. They are also beautiful and can be kept in top condition with a little olive oil. I would avoid Mahogany because it is likely to split in use. Some of the modern hard woods used in chopping boards are good because the manufacturers have already thought about durability, splitting, warping and visual appeal. They are also cheaper than shop bought paddles and can be sustainably sourced.
Shaped with a curve on one side and flat on the other. This is best done with a spoke shave or draw knife and finished off with a plane. This is not essential but it does give a variety of sensation during use and is a sign of quality.
Quite long, approximately 12-14 inches in total length. This gives good leverage and swing.
Not too wide, approximately 3-4 inches. A narrower paddle is easier to swing and stings more sharply.
Quite thick to ensure a solid finish that is unlikely to split.
Made with a rounded handle rather than one that is the same thickness as the paddle itself. This is easy to achieve by gluing the spare cut from either side of the handle onto the handle and again shaping with a spoke shave. If you want to make a proper job that will last a lifetime, drill two countersunk holes through this sandwich and rivet with brass, just like a Chef's knife handle. Try to make the handle an appropriate size for your own hand. If that technique does not appeal, then what about a whipped handle? Whipping (in this context) simply means binding the handle tight and evenly with waxed twine as found on some sporting bats or yachting ropes. I suggest you try out some kitchen implements to see which handle size and shape is best.
Finished to a high quality. This is much easier with hard woods, especially if care is taken with sanding. Hand sanding from 90 through to 400 grit sand papers is ideal. If your wood is porous then cellulose sanding sealant can be bought from any woodturning specialist shop or the better hardware shops. This fills the pores before sanding and gives a much better finish.
Untreated with varnish. What is the point of putting all that care into making a fine wooden paddle and denying yourself and your woman the tactile pleasures of the wood itself? If you want a dry polish, then a little furniture or bees wax is excellent. My preference is a drop of olive oil occasionally which soaks into the wood, keeping it supple. You can even introduce the maintenance of the paddle's polishing as a discipline :)
Plain. However, if your carving skills are up to it and you want to name it, then a small inscription at the junction between the handle and paddle is a good idea. If you have not tried it before I suggest plenty of practice as this is the area you are most likely to make a mistake on.

There are no hard and fast rules to design, finish or dimensions. However, whatever the final design you choose, like craftsmen of old who made their own woodworking tools, there should be a pride in the workmanship that will signal to your woman that you have put love and care into it just like the love and care that will go into its application. This is the main reason for making your own paddle – your authority as HOH will be enhanced and your woman will feel she is being intimately disciplined by a caring person who loves her enough to take care of even the smallest details.

User577 wrote:

All the raw materials I purchased were from Wal-Mart, Home Depot, or Tractor Supply. The biggest thing I learned is that the simplest things are the best. They also cost next to nothing. The total cost of the finished items was about $75. The most expensive single item to make was the metal handled flog. The easiest was the plastic coat hanger. All of the items are very portable. Everything is safe; the possibility of injury is proportional to the force of the strikes or the duration of the spanking. I rank the items about medium on the noise scale. Someone in the next room would know what's going on but someone down the hall wouldn't. That is separate from the noise of the recipient though, which could be much louder. None of the items took more than an hour to make. Most took much less. Most of the items run to the “stingy” side and don't require much force to use.

There are 2 overall winners based on all of your criteria: the “carpet beater”and the plastic coat hanger. The plastic coat hanger can deliver quite a bit of sting and is very responsive to the amount of force in the swing (i.e. light swing=light sting, hard swing=lots of sting). The only modification was the clipping of the actual “hanger” part. To use it, just hold one end and land the other where you want to put the love. The force seems to be restricted to the “U”-shaped end. It's not very loud but does make a lovely “swish” as it cuts the air. The “carpet beater” as I call it (to camouflage it's real purpose) is inspired by the “loppy-johnny” you have pictured. It was made by taking two 3ft. lengths of coax cable (the cable that connects TV's, DVD's, etc.), folding them in half, and securing the end with duct tape to make a handle. It is about the same diameter as the coat hanger but has more “oomph”. It also appears stiffer than the loppy-johnny. This comes from the wire core and shielding. It holds its shape but is somewhat flexible. I think the total cost is around $6. It was free for me because I had so much extra around.

The wooden yardstick gets an honorable mention. It was about $3, it needed no modification, and it appears very vanilla. It extends my reach and probably delivers more thud than the other items. It also serves double-duty as a crop or pointer for me when I'm administering discipline. The only drawback is portability. In a pinch, you could just buy one when you get where you're going and just leave it behind when you're done.

The winner in the portability and noise department is the “Catholic discipline”. It is just a small flog for self-flagellation. I got the idea here: http://www.frugaldomme.com/frugal.htm . This one is made from a wooden bracelet and four 6 ft. leather shoe laces (cut to 3 ft. lengths). It is also stingy and could be made from a variety of materials.

The plastic shoehorn was $1-$2 and is very light weight. It seems better for delivering love and discipline to more tender parts of the anatomy because even a hard swing won't generate as much force. It can be more stingy or thudy based on the technique used.

The metal handled flog is the most elaborate and expensive single item. The total cost was about $14, mostly because of the pipe. It could be made cheaper and lighter with PVC pipe. The handle is made from a piece of galvanized pipe, a cap, and a reducer. All of the parts thread together and it's wrapped in rubber grip tape. The working end is made from window screen spline cut to about 20 in. lengths. The pieces of spline are squeezed through the reducer and glued together to stay in the handle. The spline itself is about ¼ in. in diameter and has lengthwise ridges. The cross section looks like a 10-pointed star. I don't know if the ridges contribute anything to it's feel but they sure look menacing. This tool requires care on my part because it generates a lot of power with little effort. We still haven't taken it to it's maximum capacity yet.

~C~ wrote:

Unfortunately, I have had to delete/edit some of the above post since the corresponding pictures sent by the poster could not be loaded by blogger. I have only edited/deleted the parts which were referring to the pictures.

An engineer wrote:
(from comments)

Someone asked what to use to make a Loopy John. Try a thin power cord. In the USA it is called "Zip cord." Size 18 is thin; 16 and 14 are thicker. This is oval since there are two wires and each is surrounded by rubber insulation. It can be used as the double but it is more consistant if the Zip cord is split first and then used as single pieces. MAKE SURE THE METAL IS TOTALLY COVERED.

Another possibility is to use a thin metal hanger just the way it is. If the buttocks is hit with just the last few inches of the "C" part, parallel to the buttucks, at exactly the right angle, it behaves like a miniature cane, stings with a deep sting and nasty bite, and then leaves a nifty red mark ten to twenty seconds later. A few degrees off and only the tip of the "C" will mark and the pain will be much less. It will take some experimenting to get the angle and the intensity of the stroke correct. Practice EASILY at first and get lots of feedback from your bottom. Or practice on yourself on your inner thigh. A picture is worth a thousand words. Remember you should be LOVING your spouse or significant other. The hanger is almost silent. The bottom's gasp will certainly be louder than the actual sound of the hit.

Announcement - New blogs

2007-09-29T20:39:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I would like to draw your attention to three new blogs. The first two AKB My Life and CDB My Life are written by a husband and wife team who are just starting on their journey into Loving Domestic Discipline. It is a wonderful and truthful account about their trials and tribulations into this lifestyle. It is very interesting to read one of their posts followed by the corresponding male/female version - in that sense it is rather unique! The ups and downs they experience are reminiscent of the ups and downs experienced by R and myself 22 years ago when we first embraced DD. AKB is a very independent and feisty woman (just like me) whilst CDB is a very laid back HOH (just like R.) I find that reading their blog is like looking in a mirror into our past. However, with Mr Lovingdd's site and other helpful sites pointing the way to marital harmony, I'm sure it won't take long for this couple to fully accept their roles as a submissive wife and authoritative husband! The love and tenderness that this couple have for each other comes through in their writing. I would very much like to encourage people to leave some advice or positive comment for this couple. Blogging can be a very lonely business. Starting in a LDD relationship can also be pretty isolating. I am sure that all feedback would be very much appreciated by them.

The third blog I would like to draw your attention to is called Marriage Bliss it is written by a HOH about his submissive wife. The following is an extract from his profile:

"For 1000’s of years men and woman have lived in the state of marriage. Timeless truths about how a marriage blossoms into a blissful existence are well proven. Modern couples have been fed ideas that only result in conflict, misery and both being desperately unhappy. I am head of my household, a position that enables me to devote myself to the care of my wife. She is the most perfect being, I worship her daily, I provide for her and I protect her. We have marriage bliss and bliss can be yours for the asking!"

It isn't often we come across a hidden treasure like this! I felt that discovering this blog was truly like discovering a diamond in the rough! The love and immense appreciation this HOH has for his wife's submission is evident in his writing! Posts include "How a submissive wife should present herself," " The seven foundations of being a submissive woman" and "A man's ongoing work in training a woman to be submissive." There are many more posts besides these.... The HOH writing this blog tends to keep the disciplinary aspects in his relationship private. He will refer to women needing discipline if certain expectations are not met, but that is all. His main thrust, is that a submissive woman strives to please her HOH and avoid punishment at all costs. This is truly a remarkable blog and truly worth a visit!

I would like to apologise to those readers who sent in details of how to make various implements. I have been away from home (and the computer recently) but can assure you that the very next post will be on this. I will try to post it as soon as possible.

My best to you all,

~C~

Essay - LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3)

2007-09-23T22:31:00.000+01:00

This essay will conclude the trilogy of essays on LDD & the Intelligent Woman. LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1) discussed the damaging effects that society has had on the essence of a woman’s femininity. LDD, Regression & the Intelligent Woman (2) discussed the rediscovery of lost femininity through the inner child which facilitated a new sexual awareness of femininity through the inner slut. In this essay, LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3) we will discuss the effects of Loving Domestic Discipline on the independent woman. The disciplinary effects both in relationship to the inner child and inner slut will be examined. It must be pointed out, however, that this essay is examining the opposite ends of both poles. The extremities on either side of the spectrum will probably not appeal to most Loving Domestic Discipline practitioners. I would imagine that most people’s version of the LDD lifestyle, falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Statistically speaking, it would seem probable that the practitioners of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, would fall close to the median. Whether it would resemble a bell shaped (Gaussian distribution) with the distribution falling more in the middle, or skewed to one side (of either the inner child or inner slut) is hard to say without research. Because of the sexually explicit content in relation to disciplining the woman’s inner slut, some readers may find the content deeply offensive. It will, therefore, be necessary to discuss the benefits, without going into any graphic descriptions or intimate details of such discipline.

The more intelligent, academic or independent a woman is, the more she will have built a wall of defence around her femininity. Both highly independent and academic women strive to achieve and make their mark on the world. As they strive to leave their mark, they usually find themselves in a world where it is essential to put on a tougher outer appearance in order to become successful. This pseudo masculine mask eclipses all traces of their true feminine selves. Society has duped them into thinking that being feminine is somehow weak, girly and frivolous; therefore, to successfully compete with their rivals, they must foil their true natures under a tougher masculine persona. One extreme example of such a woman is Margaret Thatcher (ex Prime minister to the British Conservative Party.) It is quite interesting to watch her transformation whilst she was first appointed into office, to her later years. From a fairly feminine woman with a soft voice, she emerged into a woman people would fear, even her voice dropped to be husky and hoarse like a man’s. It is no surprise, therefore, that intelligent and independent women are more difficult to discipline. The more defence she builds around her femininity the more difficult the task in knocking down the defences to discipline her. HOH’s will find it hard to break down these defences and reach her softer feminine core. She will need stronger techniques to break down her will, which is preventing her from gaining the access to the discipline she so richly needs and deserves.

So what is a successful discipline?

A successful discipline basically, is designed to break down the woman’s will and break down her emotional barriers. This can only be achieved by using methods designed to increase her humiliation. Although humiliation is not much talked about in the LDD community, it is possibly the most central and integral part of the Loving Domestic Disciplinary process. Without adequate humiliation, the woman will never be able to reach her optimum level as a truly submissive and obedient woman. When a woman is more intelligent, independent and assertive, the need for adequate humiliation increases dramatically. This is because women have enshrouded their femininities and built a wall of defence around them. The wall of defence displaces a woman’s natural feminine tendencies, which results in women having an increased ego and arrogance. The increased ego and arrogance can only be accessed and dispelled via humiliation. The humbling effects of humiliation will serve the purpose of bringing the woman to a calmer and submissive state of mind and heart, by doing so she will become more receptive to the guidance and correction from her HOH.

Many women living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are somehow turned off by the word “humiliation.” Some women will vehemently deny the importance of humiliation and claim that it is not at all relevant to them. Humiliation is, however, necessary since it facilitates the disciplinary process. This in turn facilitates the learning process, which helps the woman achieve the optimum state in her humility and submission. Without effective humiliation she will never learn the lessons which she needs to be taught. Loving Domestic Discipline is not solely about humiliation for the sake of it, the HOH doesn’t humiliate his woman to make her feel bad or worthless; he humiliates her because it renders her more submissive. Humiliation is a necessary contingent of the disciplinary process since it results in a successful discipline.

The concept of the inner child and inner slut are often misunderstood, but they are also central to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Having an inner child is not the same as being or behaving like a child; likewise, having an inner slut is not the same as being or behaving like a slut. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel many of the feelings she felt as a child, but still remain a conscious intelligent adult woman. Likewise, Loving Domestic Discipline facilitates the emergence of the woman’s slut instincts. Her inner child is the place where she wants to feel safe, nurtured and protected by her man. It is here where she submits herself freely to the guidance, leadership and correction of her HOH. Her inner slut is the place which is the central expression of her sexuality. It is here where she wants to surrender herself sexually to her HOH. Some women are afraid to release their slut instincts of fear that it may overwhelm them. But it is in the inner slut where the woman’s creations of her sexuality and ultimate feminine energies emerge.

Discipline incorporates the needs of both the inner child and inner slut, it is a dynamic relationship. There will be certain times or misdemeanours which require attention to one or both of these areas. But how does the HOH balance the demands of the inner slut and inner child with discipline? When does he know which is required?

A skilled and wise HOH will be very much in tune with his woman’s emotions. He will instinctively know what area of demand needs to be met to get the best possible results. The following paragraphs will discuss the extremities at both ends of the spectrum. An important reminder, however, is that standard LDD techniques tend to find themselves concentrated in the middle, or erring a little to one side or the other (incorporating and blending the disciplines corresponding to both the inner child and inner slut.) It is unusual (but not impossible) for practitioners to only concentrate efforts on one end of the spectrum, i.e. solely on the inner child or inner slut.

Humiliating the inner child

When humiliating the inner child it is essential to psychologically bring the woman down to a child-like state. Once the woman is in a child-like state, emotionally speaking, she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures. Such procedures are generally aimed at disciplining young children. Both standard LDD and advanced techniques can be used to great effect. The added bonus with using ALDD techniques is that the advanced nature of the disciplines has a much more profound and humiliating effect. If the woman’s HOH finds the LDD methods not significantly humiliating, then he would be best advised to try the advanced disciplinary methods. Advanced LDD techniques correspond to the needs of both the inner child and inner slut.

Humiliation through scolding is essential to break through the adult woman’s defences and tap into her inner child before her punishment. Phrases like “You bad, bad girl, having a tantrum like that!” “You naughty girl” “Come here young lady!” “If you are going to act like a two year old then you will be treated as one!” “You bring your naughty bottom to me for a spanking now!!” Or more emotive/ disappointed type scolding, “Where has my good little girl gone?”

Sometimes the HOH will sit her firmly on his knee to scold her. He will use a condescending tone used for small children so that she can effectively feel that she is in a vulnerable child-like state, thus, feel his “adult” authority over her. Young children do not tend to have much of an attention span; therefore, by holding her chin throughout her telling off, forces her to have direct eye contact with her HOH, this triggers her inner child instincts which serves her in her humiliation.

Corner time is very humiliating and child-like. Being made to stand in the corner with her nose directly touching the wall is humiliating. Corner time type of punishments can also be highly effective if used in a more public area. For example, if she misbehaves in a crowded supermarket her HOH could quietly stand her in a corner of the supermarket for a short period of time. Any passers-by would just think she is taking a long time to assess the quality of the tomatoes! This is effective, however, since no one but the woman and HOH know that she is being disciplined. The crowded public space adds wonders to her increased humiliation.

Bed time as a punishment can be very humiliating, especially if it is early enough (daylight outside) and she is put to bed for the night. Her humiliation will naturally increase if she is put to bed before her own children’s normal bed time. Naturally, her children need not know the reasons for her going to bed before they do. They can just be told that “Mummy isn’t feeling too well,” which (with a freshly spanked bottom) wouldn’t really be too far from the truth! In order to properly access the inner child it is essential for her HOH to actually put her to bed rather than send her to bed. If he undresses her, gets her ready for bed and supervises her going to the toilet and bathing/ brushing her teeth, this will increase her humiliation.

Naturally, combining non-spanking disciplines with a soundly spanked bottom can do wonders to increase the woman’s levels of humiliation and improve the effectiveness of the discipline.

When positioning the woman for an inner child spanking it is important to use positions generally aimed at naughty children. OTK (over the knee) is very important it feels personally connected, vulnerable and child like. Alternatives to this are being spanked in the nappy changing position. Such a position can be deeply humiliating since it exposes a woman’s private parts. This position may trigger feelings of helplessness as experienced by very young children having their nappy changed. Or (depending on her weight and size) being tucked under her HOH’s arm and being spanked standing up. If she is really small in comparison to her HOH and her HOH is strong enough, she can also be hoisted off the floor in such a position. All the HOH has to do is firmly grip hold around the back of her waist and lift her, so that her bottom is parallel with the rest of her body. One of the major benefits of such a punishment is that the elevation and feeling of suspension dramatically adds to the woman’s vulnerability of size compared to her HOH’s. This then adds to the woman’s increased humiliation which has directly accessed her inner child.

Having her panties slowly and firmly pulled down by her HOH, before her spanking, is both humbling and humiliating. Likewise, having her panties pulled back up after her spanking and having her clothes tucked back into her jeans, whilst she is firmly reminded to behave, also adds significantly to the humiliation process. If she is wearing a dress or skirt, it would be more humiliating for the woman if her HOH were to bare her bottom after she has been placed over his knee - simply because it keeps the woman in suspense. Although deep down she knows that each and every spanking is indeed on her bare bottom, allowing for anticipation is very important. Once in a vulnerable position over the knee, the sensation of having her dress or skirt lifted and panties pulled down to her knees or beyond, is very humiliating. If the woman is wearing trousers or jeans, then naturally her HOH will have to pull down her jeans and panties whilst she stands in front him, prior to being placed over the knee. Whilst her HOH is undressing her, he should force eye contact with her and look at her sternly and reprimand her, prior to her spanking.

Such a simple action, such as pulling down a naughty woman’s panties and back up after punishment is very effective. Many women actually find that this very simple act greatly increases their humiliation. Sometimes even the most simplest action can increase a woman's humiliation which help trigger memories of their childhood, thus access her inner child.

Spanking with the hand is very important. The personal connection in a hand spanking is crucial for the inner child, the sense of touch is essential. The HOH is taking the woman back to what it felt like to be disciplined as a small child. He is taking her back to what it feels like to be a little girl again. Being reassured like a little girl by having her hand held through out her spanking, plus comforting her using a soft tone of voice, as if to reassure a terrified child, are all important elements of triggering the emotions inside her inner child.

The actual severity of the spanking is not really the issue here. An inner child spanking is more to do with accessing deep rooted emotions which helps the woman reconnect with her feminine psyche at a much deeper and profound level. A spanking of medium force which goes on for about an hour or more is ideal for tapping into the emotions of the inner child.

If the woman finds it difficult to cry then sometimes connecting with past childhood artefacts such as a teddy can release immediate tears. Just the sight and smell of her teddy can immediately remind her of her childhood. Some women find that taking their teddy with them over their HOH’s knee will induce the onset of tears fairly rapidly. It is amazing how powerful the senses can be. The sense of smell (of smelling that old familiar smell associated with her childhood) can regress the woman right back into feeling some of those powerful emotions she once felt as a child. This is also why a number of women feel that a loud spanking is more effective than a quiet one. In this case the sense of sound (hearing her actual spanking) can instil a greater fear into her, as opposed to an implement which doesn’t emit much sound at all.

Usually after punishing the woman via her inner child, she will feel very emotional and vulnerable. Sufficient aftercare is essential. Even if the spanking wasn’t very hard or severe, emotionally the woman may have been taken to a very frightening place. Some women may have built very strong defences around their femininities; this may have been the first time that they felt connection with their inner child and rediscovered their femininity. If the woman cries for the first time this is a great bonus. Crying after an inner child spanking can render the woman very fragile and clingy to her HOH. She may need to cling to him and cry for a long time. During this time her HOH can hold her, caress her and lovingly reassure her. Whilst being lovingly held on his lap he can wrap her up in a blanket and continue holding her until she falls asleep in his arms.

Humiliating the inner slut

When humiliating the Inner slut it is essential to tap into the foundation of the woman’s sexuality. It is here where her slut instincts and adult femininity originate. Releasing the woman’s inner slut instincts bring a woman in touch with her true femininity and sexual submission. Once the woman is connected with her slut instincts she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures which are highly sexual in nature. Generally, overly sexualising a punishment is not recommended. This is because any lesson that the HOH is trying to communicate to his woman will be lost in the sexual frenzy of their lovemaking. However, giving the woman overtly sexual punishments which act as a discipline, i.e. are sufficiently unpleasant to teach the woman a lesson, are perfectly fine. As long as the woman isn’t readily enjoying her discipline, then it is the HOH’s right as the one who has sole authority over her to derive sexual gratification himself. It is the overtly sexual types of discipline that tease out the very feminine slut urges from the woman.

The submissive innate slut instincts of the woman are awoken whenever a man and his woman make love. They are awoken in every couple world wide, regardless of whether the couple are engaged in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. So in many ways it seems most normal and natural to humiliate and punish the woman’s most central origin of who she is in relation to her HOH. Sexual humiliation can generally have a more profound disciplinary effect and outcome. The woman can feel more humbled, submissive and feminine as her weaker feminine energies touch forces with her HOH’s stronger and more powerful ones.

When scolding the inner slut, it is essential to use words and phrases designed to humiliate the woman and bring her in touch with her slut urges and instincts. It is important to remember, however, that humiliation is not the same as being offensive or abusive to the woman – it is after all a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship they are engaged in. The HOH is not simply being mean to his woman, but is using such phrases as a useful disciplinary tool to try and break through her will. A humiliating scolding can be extremely effective. If the right words and phrases are used the woman will be more receptive to the discipline he is about to administer. Generally, women vary with their responses to certain words or phrases. For example, using the word “slut” wouldn’t be at all effective on those women who are bitterly offended at such a word. Nor would it be effective on women who have no strong reaction to such a word whatsoever. It will only really be effective to those women who feel greatly humiliated by it. It is, therefore, something that the HOH will have to determine for himself. The HOH knows his woman and knows her weak spots and tolerance threshold, so he should know which words would increase her humiliation and which to best avoid. Verbally humiliating his woman is generally very effective since it gets to the very heart of her sexuality and instantly reminds her of her place in relation to her HOH.

There are many non-spanking disciplines which tap directly into a woman’s inner slut. Whether it is increased chores or Obedience Training (ALDD book) the actual humiliation would be heightened if the woman were to be kept nude during the entire time it took to complete her tasks. The fact that she has no clothes immediately places her in a very vulnerable position. This then facilitates her femininity, humiliation and submission. Other non-spanking disciplines which have been proven to have a rapid acceleration in improving a woman’s obedience, submission and humiliation are all found in the ALDD book. In fact most of the techniques in the ALDD book are non-spanking quiet techniques which can prove very effective if the couple have children or friends/family staying.

Another form of non-spanking discipline which is very effective is Tearful Felatio (ALDD book.) This type of discipline (also known in a less sexual guise as the “formal thank you”) is an incredibly poignant way of reconnecting with the HOH after discipline. Many women who have been thoroughly punished by their HOH automatically drop to their knees in a bid to thank and orally reconnect with their man.

The ideal positions for disciplining the inner slut are overtly sexual ones. The more exposure to the woman’s delicate private area, the more vulnerable, exposed and humiliated she feels. Positions which allow such exposure are generally those where the woman is bending over with her legs slightly apart. This can be done by bending down and grasping the ankles or bending over a desk or other low surface. The added advantage to such a position (in punitive terms) is the delicate area is now in full readiness to be spanked by the belt, or some other soft implement which increases the pain and humiliation of her spanking.

Ideally it is best for the woman to be entirely nude for the duration of her inner slut punishments. If she is told by her HOH to strip she must obediently do so. Stripping in front of her stern HOH can render the woman very submissive. She knows that she is not putting on some erotic show by stripping in front of him. Rather she is stripping off her clothes in preparation for her punishment.

An inner slut spanking generally involves a lot of pain to overwhelm the emotional barriers. Tearing down her defensive wall is going against very strong survival instincts. Once the defensive barriers are broken, the woman feels a certain calm transcend over her, it is here where she comes face to face with her femininity and submission. In her calm and contrite state of mind she welcomes the pain as a gift from her man, a gift directly emanating from his sexual authority. This precious gift which he bestows, opens up the very centre of her inner sexual self. It is here where she radiates and blossoms in the essence of her true feminine expressions, of who she is, in relation to her man. It is here where she discovers the hidden depths of her sexuality and submission. She welcomes the pain as an integral part of who she truly is, a crying submissive woman surrendering her feminine energies to her man’s masculine ones. She welcomes the pain since it is caused by her man. Caused by the man she loves, respects and obeys. Given freely from the man who truly loves her, she surrenders herself to the pain which is derived from the very core of his sexual manhood. The pain or humiliation of her punishment puts her directly in touch with her inner slut instincts. Some punishments are more focused on humiliation rather than pain which can have an even greater and more profound emotional effect. The tears, sexual submission and humiliation bind the masculine and feminine energies closer than standard Loving Domestic Discipline. This is because the overtly sexual natures of the discipline, coupled with the overtly humiliating punishments are directly derived from the HOH’s sexual masculine centre. It is this which Drills down to the very epitome of the woman’s inner sexuality and slut instincts. It is this that truly renders her as the missing component of their sexual unity - the missing piece of the jigsaw and corresponding female energy.

Tears before, during and after punishment are not simply a gift but are the greatest gift a submissive woman can give to her man. Cathartic tears are an outward sign which prove to her man without a doubt, that she has entered the depths of her submission. They show her complete willingness to surrender herself to his guidance and correction. Tears not only show her man that his job in disciplining her has been effective, but it reinforces his masculine authority over her. It supports and values his role as the one who has sole authority over her. There is no sight or sound sweeter to an HOH than to see and hear the sight and sound of his woman crying during the punishment process. There is no song more beautiful than a woman crying in full humiliation, when her HOH knows that her tears are the direct cause of his sexual punishment and masculine authority.

Once a fully fledged inner slut punishment is over, aftercare is crucial. The woman will have been stripped of all her dignity, therefore, it is essential for her HOH to build her up again. Building her up will consist of verbal reassurance and praise for her remakable femininity and submission. Some of the techniques used by HOHs to punish a woman’s inner slut can render her very vulnerable. Usually such punishments have taken the woman to a very scary place, it is therefore imperative that she be allowed to cry and cling to her HOH for as long as she needs. Some couples make gentle love after such discipline, whilst others like to leave a sufficient gap after a punishment to cement the lesson her HOH wants her to learn.

To conclude:

Although ALDD/LDD is a dynamic relationship where the interrelationship between both the inner child and inner slut liaise together, this essay has only examined the extremities of each and explored the disciplines in relation to each in an isolated way. It is up to every individual HOH to determine the correct balance at any point in time. There is little point continuing with more standard LDD practises if they are not working. Although it is good for the HOH to be patient with his woman and wait for the results of her impending good behaviour, there are some women who make slow or little progress with the standard LDD techniques. Such women should seriously consider the benefits from advanced LDD which answer the needs to both the inner child and inner slut.

Humiliation is essential during punishment since it opens a woman mind and heart which helps her to focus on her punishment. Without adequate humiliation the woman will never be receptive to her discipline.

Inner child disciplines are covertly sexual in nature. These punishments are designed to allow the woman to connect with her inner child where she feels greater degrees of warmth, trust wonder and safety. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel some of these feelings, whilst surrendering her feminine energies to the authority of her HOH.

Inner slut disciplines are overtly sexual in nature. The strong sexual element is used as part of the discipline so that the woman is punished and humiliated in a way that gives her no delusions as to who has sexual authority over her. Sometimes more advanced sexual humiliation is needed to break through a woman’s pride, stubbornness and arrogance.

Essay – LDD, Regression & the Intelligent Woman (2)

2007-08-20T14:07:00.001+01:00

Part one of this essay (LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman) examined the negative impact society has had on a woman’s femininity. It considered the fact that western societies have often ridiculed a woman for being female, thus stripping her of the most natural and beautiful expressions of her true self. Part two will investigate those women who have gone against the demands of society and have rediscovered their femininity through the implementation of Loving Domestic Discipline. Regressive types of behaviour will be examined. Although regression is not really openly discussed within LDD circles, it is nonetheless, felt by women to varying degrees. The positive effects of regression such as the results of getting in touch with the “inner child” on an emotional level and connecting with the “inner slut” on a sexual level will be discussed.

Regression may sound like something negative or a bit strange, but really it is a very natural process for any woman living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. The infringement on society and denial to be allowed to express ones femininity can cause lasting damage to the essence of her womanhood. Loving Domestic Discipline brings a woman back in touch with her femininity. The woman is regressed back to the very essence of what makes her female. She is regressed back not into being a child again, but into feeling many of the liberating thoughts she was once allowed to feel as a child.

Loving Domestic Discipline connects the woman with her inner child, allowing the woman to access the feelings she one felt when she was a child. The feelings of absolute trust and wonder re-emerge as she casts off the barriers that she had built around her femininity. The woman marvels at the world with new eyes, protected by the love and guidance of her man. The woman regresses back to a time when she was allowed to trust absolutely and without question. It takes her back to a time where she was allowed to cry freely and openly. She stops being guarded and allows for all the years of defence to fall away. As she feels the strong inter-connection of masculine and feminine energies, she is immediately placed back to that safe protected harbour she felt as a child.

Reconnection with her inner child does not make her any less intelligent, it simply opens out her femininity. Feeling some of the positive effects from her childhood such as a certain innocence and complete trust takes her back to her feminine core which was denied to her. By being her true feminine self she facilitates her submission to flow as a natural consequence of her womanhood. Loving Domestic Discipline empowers women to be strong and confident in their newly discovered femininities. Women in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship discover that they no longer need to hide behind their pseudo-masculine armour of defence.

When the woman freely hands herself over to a male-led relationship she relinquishes control and becomes more at peace with her true feminine self. By casting off her masculine exterior, she surrenders her femininity to her masculine counterpart. The HOH values the woman’s views, but as head makes the final decisions. This does not make the woman less intelligent or less valuable; it simply plays out their different gender roles. It taps into the innate masculine and feminine energies between them. Some women wrongly assume that men don’t like intelligent women, but nothing could be further from the truth. Most men (at least most good HOH’s) welcome intelligent, well educated women. Whether the woman makes more money than her HOH, or is better educated is irrelevant. What men don’t welcome are women who use their intelligence in a shrill, aggressive and controlling way. Men are natural leaders and protectors; it is unnatural and unfeminine for the woman to fight for leadership within the home.

As her man instructs her to do something – tells her, not asks her, or gives her a bed time, a spanking, or sends her to stand in the corner for misbehaving, the woman is directly consumed in his masculine power and authority. The woman grows deeper in her submission and femininity as she hands herself over to her man’s higher power. The fact that her man is holding her accountable for her actions and modifying her behaviour envelops her in a very deep sense of security, protection and love. Such a deep sense of well being, of being lovingly held and nurtured all echo back to her dim and distant childhood.

The woman’s inner child wants to please and wants so much to make her man proud. Being told that she is a “good girl” empowers her femininity, where she blossoms on his praise. Being told she is a “bad” or “naughty girl” makes her bow in shame. A woman who is connected with her inner child will never feel at ease until she has felt the firmness of his hand or implement striking her bared bottom. The woman connected with her inner child will never feel at ease, until she has been soundly spanked through her tears and forgiven by her HOH. It is her inner child which places inordinate amounts of trust in her man; she trusts that he will correct her misbehaviour, always out of love, never anger or resentment. It is only when a woman is connected with her inner child and comes face to face with her femininity and submission can she feel the exchange of the masculine and feminine energies between them. She feels his disapproval, his power, his authority, intermingled with her fear, guilt, shame and anticipation... The vibes from these two opposing energies draws out the very submissive aspects from her inner self. It draws out the very submissive aspects from her inner child - her femininity.

Regressing back to the safety of childhood and becoming in touch with the inner child allows new feelings to develop, feelings which were not apparent in childhood. These new feelings that emerge are the sexual feelings of a grown woman. A grown woman, who has the same unquestioning trust as a child, surrenders herself with sexual obsequiousness to her man. As the inner child allows the woman to rediscover her femininity, this in turn allows her femininity to discover her inner slut (see quote below). Awareness of her inner slut is derived from and is directly attributable to her natural womanly submission. The sexuality from her inner slut puts her into direct contact with all her desires of sexual surrender, submission and servitude to her man. As her man’s masculinity pours over her she surrenders the very core of her femininity to him.

“A woman's inner slut is a celebration of her femininity, of what makes her different from men and worthwhile in her own right. Every woman's inner slut has unique characteristics, just as each woman has unique characteristics. When a woman learns to accept and to respect her own inner slut, she begins to truly flower in her womanhood.” (Mr Lovingdd’s Inner Slut article)

Since the woman’s trust, wonder, innocence and simplicity were violated by society, rediscovery of her inner child puts her in touch with these feelings once again. These feelings in turn helps her to rediscover her femininity. Although femininity is synonymous with submission, submission with all its complexities can be graded from non-sexual feminine submission experienced during childhood (the child yielding compliantly and obediently to the parent) to grades of overtly sexual womanly submission. Despite the fact that the inner slut finds its expression from the origins of adult sexual submission, a woman will never be able to experience the depths of her submission and connection with her inner slut if she has not first come into contact with her inner child. This is because the inner child is the place which has enshrined her femininity. A woman cannot engage in deeper levels of sexual submission with a masculine armour – she must first be reconnected with her inner child and accept her femininity in all its glory.

Most women will probably find the term “slut” deeply offensive. Some may even go to great lengths to deny that they have an inner slut. There are two reasons for such strong opposition. Firstly, the term “slut” has been regarded by society as something very negative. Nice girls are not supposed to have sexual desires or fantasies which err against the norm. Having sexual desires which are outside the accepted norms, or having a strong sexual drive (as women) is frowned on by society. Secondly, many women are conditioned to being so opposed to this word, that they don’t understand the true meaning behind the term and how it relates to them as women.

So what is the inner slut? The inner slut is the inner most core to a woman’s sexuality, it is the sexual expression of her femininity. Without the inner slut there could never be an inter-play between the masculine and feminine energies. Without the existence of the inner slut the woman would never engage in sex, nor would she be able to live in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Slut is not a derogatory word when used in this sense. It is important to realise that it is perfectly OK to express feminine sexuality and Loving Domestic Discipline allows that expression in a beautiful way – via submission. Having an inner slut and being a slut are two very different notions. Expressing her slut instincts to her HOH in a committed relationship or marriage is both natural and desirable, but this is not the same as being a slut. Outside a committed relationship allowing her slut instincts to wreak havoc, by having non-meaningful uncommitted sex with multiple one night stands would probably be classed as someone engaging in their slut instincts.

Both the inner child and inner slut have been condemned by society. The woman not only had to endure having her feminine spirit crushed and destroyed, but also had society condemn her for having strong sexual feelings and instincts. These instincts of the inner slut are normal and healthy sexual expressions of her femininity. To deny them would be to deny her true self.

“Social opposition to the inner slut has been founded on beliefs that the inner slut would lead to the downfall of civilization and polite behavior, or to a decline in the status of women. Both conservatives and liberals have their own justifications as to why the inner slut cannot, should not and must not exist. These justifications are founded on personal fears rather than on genuine understanding of the feminine psyche.” (Mr Lovingdd’s Inner Slut article)

Society, headed by a band of politicians has unfortunately made many women deeply ashamed of harbouring various sexual fantasies, or for having a strong sexual drive. Having slut instincts or overtly sexual desires which stand outside the social norms (including spanking) can indeed make women feel that they are not “nice,” “polite” women . Both a fear and misunderstanding of the inner slut makes society violently opposed to it. Society warns women that it is not what good, intelligent, nicely brought up ladies engage in.

Women, who have regressed back to the safety of their inner child and experienced the essence of their submission and femininity, can very often express their emotions in different ways. One end of the spectrum shows that some women will immediately call their HOH “Daddy” and will feel a greater need for the more nurturing, fatherly qualities in her man. Some women may even like to sit on his knee so that they can immerse themselves in that protective “father/daughter” environment they once felt in the safety of their childhood. However, the other end of the spectrum shows how some women will feel an overtly prevalent sexuality emerging from their inner slut. The reason why Loving Domestic Discipline is so successful is that it harmonises the needs of both the inner child and inner slut - Loving Domestic Discipline’s techniques and practises balances both of these inner most expressions of womanhood.

The inter-play between the inner child and inner slut must strike a harmonious chord. If too much attention is paid to the inner child then the woman may be exploring re-parenting aspects to her behaviour, too much emphasis paid to the inner slut, on the other hand, may result in sexual promiscuity. A balance between the two is what is needed to bring a sense of poise to the woman. The wise HOH always knows how to address both the needs of the inner slut and inner child by holding the predominant one in check. The dynamics of the relationship are at their most unified if the balance is set right.

The relationship between the inner child and inner slut can be best explained by the diagram below. Connection with the inner child allows for the immediate rediscovery of femininity. This reawakened femininity taps into her feminine submission 1. Submission 1 is the rediscovered submission that was part of her femininity as she was growing up. It is here where she would want to be a “good girl” by pleasing her parents and would be try to obediently comply with what was expected from her. Submission 1 in turn allows her to discover her new womanly femininity. This womanly femininity is aided by the masculine and feminine energies in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship which, in turn facilitates the flow of submission 2. Submission 2, is the woman yielding and surrendering her energies to her man, this is the creation of the woman’s sexual submission which teases out the core of her femininity – her inner slut instincts.

The interplay between the inner child and inner slut can best be described as being on a spectrum. The woman’s psychological behaviours in feeling the emotional connectivity of the inner child and sexual desires of the inner slut can come into play at anytime and move anywhere within the spectrum.

Whilst the extreme needs of the inner child have much of its demands in the emotions, the extreme needs of the inner slut has its demands in sexuality. The interconnectivity between the demands of the inner child and inner slut liaise together. The emotional needs and sexual needs fuse together to become a unified expression of her femininity. As her femininity blossoms she draws herself into deeper levels of submission – this submission becomes her, enshrines her and elevates her. The very depth of her submission epitomises every bit of her womanhood, as she celebrates her newly found emotional, sexual feminine self.

To conclude:

It takes a remarkably strong, capable and intelligent woman to commit herself to a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Both consenting to such a relationship and the effort required on her part, requires a great deal of introspection and self-analysis. It takes a remarkably intelligent and confident woman to know she is in the right and stand her ground against the wave of opposition against her. The more professional and highly skilled the woman, the more likely she is to protect her femininity by building a wall of defence around her. Such women will often be so far removed from their natural feminine instincts that they may predominantly seem to stand out as women in great need of the benefits of LDD. Society has damned and crushed the very spirit out of the woman’s psyche. Both the effects of the inner child (femininity) and inner slut (sexual submission) are distorted and condemned by society.

Regression is a natural and necessary expression of the Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Without regressing to the inner child, by knocking down the pseudo-masculine exterior, women will never get connected to their femininity, nor experience their sexual submission and inner slut instincts. Without connection to the inner child the inner slut will always be feared by many women. A good HOH strives to balance the interplay between the inner child and inner slut. By doing so the woman is placed at her most optimum level, for discovering deeper and more profound levels of her womanhood.

Essay - LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1)

2007-08-12T22:13:00.000+01:00

There is a great deal of controversy arising against women who adhere to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Some misguided critics genuinely believe that lovingly disciplined women are either abused by their men (by being brainwashed) or are willingly putting themselves forward as doormats. Less intelligent women may be forgiven, or even pitied for living such a lifestyle; judgemental individuals believing that she has been cajoled into an abusive relationship. Intelligent women are, however, difficult to dismiss, but their reasoned arguments outlining the merits of such a lifestyle tend to fall on deaf ears. Intelligent women are often ridiculed as being depraved and psychologically damaged individuals, who get their kicks out of subjecting themselves to discipline by their HOH. Such violent opposition can often make women living the LDD lifestyle very isolated.

It is a very hard job to convince non-LDD women of the many benefits such a lifestyle brings, especially if they have their minds made up on belittling women who engage in it. Men can be just as judgemental, but they don’t usually carry the same malicious remarks that some women carry. Sometimes, a lovingly disciplined woman can find that the male friends she was originally close to, become distant and aloof once she reveals her lifestyle to them. They can often raise their eye brows with astonishment and wonder why a woman of such intelligence would even consider such a way of life! Her female friends too, can shun her because of her chosen lifestyle. Some may even seem supportive, but this can often be a ploy since their intent may be on collecting damaging information, in order to spread nasty rumours about her. Such loss of friends and rejection can wear heavy on a LDD woman. She may even find herself questioning whether the feelings from deep within her are indeed normal and healthy feminine desires.

It actually takes a great deal of intelligence to research into the finer meanings behind LDD. In order to have a good grip on what is happening, both internally (from within the psyche) and externally (the many outer improvements in her behaviour and attitude) the woman would need to be capable of analysing these benefits and experiencing them at close hand. Without detailed analysis and research, she would never be truly convinced. Although much of the finer dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline are instinctual, without intelligence a woman could never adopt a LDD lifestyle. This is because to give her consent it requires both a period of introspection and research. This is so that she can then feel the commitment into a male-led relationship is something that she has freely chosen and had not been coerced into.

The modern world can be both friendless and empty. Some women learn in their early adulthood that it is necessary to protect their femininity under a masculine layer, whilst others want to annihilate their femininity altogether. During the early teens it is suddenly not cool to wear pretty dresses or skirts. Emo, grunge, rapper, punk or rock/biker-chick styles of music and dress, start the process of hardening the vulnerable young woman. Even those of us who have escaped or outgrown the social pressures of youth, are subjected to aimlessly following the social pressures of adulthood. Many women are pressured into following what is considered to be acceptable and even desirable paths to success. Women are taught during their early socialisation to compete against men in very aggressive and dominating ways, so that they can ensure more successful positions at work. Pretty soon women lose complete touch with what it is to be female. They even continue with their masculine personas, whilst they try and compete for absolute control within their home.

The fact that women become hardened emotionally and made to act like men, is a direct result of society. Society destroys every positive aspect of the female psyche. It tries to destroy everything of beauty, innocence and wonder. Femininity is crushed, distorted, ridiculed and damned by the society in which we live. It is, therefore, little wonder why people fail to understand that women in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are not weak or stupid, but have strong, independent characters and intelligent minds.

Loving Domestic Discipline is not trying to recreate the past. It is not interested in returning to the 1950’s where wife discipline was common practise. However, it must be acknowledged that all that was good and wholesome in society, was destroyed as soon as the 1960’s emerged. In many ways society is still recovering from the aftermath of the 60’s. Loving Domestic Discipline focuses onto the very good aspects of the 1950’s and modifies it. An example of such changes carried forward into LDD, is that every relationship must be consensual. Without consent it would otherwise be considered abuse.

A large proportion of women living this lifestyle are professional, well educated women. Many in fact leave their high powered jobs, in order to concentrate their efforts on their homes and families. Any woman living this lifestyle, would need to understand the mechanics of Loving Domestic Discipline to be prepared to go against the societal norms. In fact, it takes a very strong minded woman indeed to stand up for her beliefs and stand against the wave of opposition against her.

Submission is not at all passive. It takes a great deal of self analysis to realise that Loving Domestic Discipline is a natural progression evolving from the inter-play of masculine and feminine energies. It takes a lot of careful introspection to truly realise that such a lifestyle can only bring harmony and a deeper love into a relationship. Women engaging in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would have to be very much in touch with their inner selves. They would need to be in touch with the driving force inside them and (despite social opposition) are confident to listen to their inner needs rather than trying to suppress them.

One of the numerous benefits gained through living a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship is that women automatically become in touch with their inner psyches – they become in touch with what it truly feels like to be female. For so long society has suppressed this natural expression of their femininity, so much so, that when they are finally put in to contact with their womanhood, they tend to find the deep inner peace, trust and wonderment that once surrounded them when they were small children. The one great benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline is that it automatically helps women experience the more gentle side of their femininity. After all, women are naturally submissive and LDD facilitates deeper levels of their submissive tendencies where women find themselves becoming evermore gentle and yielding.

Some people think that LDD is just one of the many versions of BDSM, but this is simply not true. Many BDSM’ers flirt with a darker side. Some may dress up in leather and whip each other with chains. They are attracted to the darkness; it is exciting, exhilarating, titillating and even daring. There is a theatrical element to BDSM, where many players are tied, suspended or placed in cages in dark sinister rooms called dungeons. Loving Domestic Discipline on the other hand, is nothing like this at all. Primarily, LDD is not theatrical and does not use gruesome objects of torture or eerie looking rooms. LDD happens in every day surroundings and the practitioners are attracted to the light not the dark. The fear element is not evoked by the darkness or frightening looking objects; rather the fear emerges from knowing that your behaviour has caused your HOH pain. The actual excitement in LDD is in being good – not bad. By being told that you are a “good girl” by your HOH or by another man in authority sends a shiver of excitement and pleasure through the submissive woman. Every girl wants to be a good at heart, no matter how intelligent or successful she is. Her HOH holds her accountable for her actions, so that if she does slip up, she will be disciplined and placed immediately back in touch with her femininity to being his good, sweet, loving girl once again. Loving Domestic Discipline is very self-contained; there are standards, values and expectations. If rules are broken, then it is through discipline that the woman is quickly brought back to a submissive, contrite, nurturing and feminine state of mind and heart.

Even some of the most intelligent women, find it difficult to talk about the spanking part of their relationship. Their long and lonely struggles, of secretly yearning for such a relationship, will very often have caused them to build strong defences around their vulnerable femininities. Many lovingly disciplined women would rather opt for discussing submission, obedience or respect amongst themselves, or in the presence of other HOH’s. Such behaviour is quite understandable, considering that the wall of defence they had to build, was a result of being told that they ebb outside the social norms. Society has made such women believe that they are abnormal, perverted individuals, with desires akin to fetishes and not natural, normal feminine needs. Even the most confident, successful or intelligent woman would be made to feel real shame for harbouring secret thoughts on desiring to be spanked.
Eventually, however, with the continual and regular implementation of LDD, the woman’s barriers of defence eventually weaken and break. As she comes into contact with her true womanhood she is no longer ashamed, but proud. Once her true femininity is uncovered by LDD she becomes liberated. She becomes liberated from the very core of her femininity, where she exudes with greater confidence and freedom of expression.

Announcement - Thank you

2007-08-09T14:33:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I would like to thank all of you who have contributed to my request on "Homemade Implements." Your response and contributions were great! I am still waiting on a couple of people to get back to me with their ideas. As soon as I have their contributions I will be writing a post which includes all your suggestions.

I would also like to mention that I recently changed my email address from Yahoo to Gmail. The reason for this was that I recently lost a lengthy email by accidentally pressing the wrong key - unfortunately Yahoo doesn't save emails in the way that Gmail does.

My new email address is: correctingc@googlemail.com

All the best to you all,

~C~

Writer's Review #1: Advanced Loving Domestic Discipline (ALDD)

2007-08-08T12:33:00.002+01:00

Dear readers,

There are so many truly talented writers amongst us. I would, therefore, like to start a monthly book/article review, where the merits of Domestic Discipline are discussed. If there are any readers who would like to recommend a book or article, then please email me. I would like to include both fiction and non-fiction.

I would like to start this review by introducing Mr Lovingdd’s latest book called ALDD.

ALDD is a non-fiction book which stands for: "Advanced Loving Domestic Discipline." As the title suggests it expands on the standard Loving Domestic Discipline practices and delves into the higher and more advanced echelons of the LDD lifestyle. The author of the Advanced LDD book takes the reader on a journey, where he opens the readers mind to the possibilities of new experiences, techniques and practises. Such advanced techniques enable a much greater intimacy between the couple. As the couple proceed with these new practices, they will almost immediately discover a much greater unity growing between them. This unity is a result of the many advanced techniques, which open up barriers which were originally barring the way to greater love and intimacy within the couple. The benefits of the ALDD techniques result in a greater feminine obedience, where the woman will be taken to the very depths of her womanhood and experience the very source of her submission.

The ALDD book examines the sexual aspect to Loving Domestic Discipline. It is not BDSM, since there is nothing in it at all which depicts bondage of any kind. It does not advocate any clubs where you go and play, exhibiting your various fetishes. ALDD is nothing at all to do with fetishes, sado-masochism or the ilk. It is a mature expression based on the masculine and feminine sexual energies, which is very much derived from Loving Domestic Discipline. The author of ALDD has cleverly discovered the missing link between LDD and BDSM. Mr Lovingdd has discovered something that meets in the middle of the two. Such a discovery is very new and innovative. This is the very first book written on such a subject. Nowhere will anyone find sexual techniques which are derived solely from the Loving Domestic Discipline way of life.

The author of the ALDD book, challenges people to look beyond their standard LDD relationship. The application of the various advanced techniques, brings almost immediate results in terms of a much deeper submission and obedience, which spring from the core of sexuality. Sometimes the standard LDD techniques are simply too weak for some women. Some women, particularly those who are strong willed and independent find immediate improvement in their behaviours and attitudes once the correct advanced technique is met. The question on the lips of those who read this book is “How much further dare we venture…(as a couple)?” Or, “How much more submissive dare I become…(as a woman)?”

There are many chapters in the book. Not all the chapters will be suitable straight away. As the woman progresses with her obedience and submission, new avenues will open. Many couples may start by exploring one or two of the techniques set out in the chapters. Once adhered to, more chapters highlighting newer disciplinary techniques and procedures can then be explored.

As Mr Lovingdd points out, the ALDD book is not for everybody. There are people who are frightened at the prospect of experiencing such a profound and emotional depth of love and intimacy, as offered in this book. There are women who are frightened at discovering the very core of their submission. There are women who are terrified of surrendering themselves to that extent. The very foundation of feminine submission is sexual. The ALDD book examines various disciplinary techniques from a sexual perspective. Such detailed implementation of these techniques brings the woman back to the very source of her submission - as the sexual female counterpart to her man. As she experiences this to a deep level, the realisation may at first overwhelm the woman. She may initially feel overwhelmed before the natural, time- honoured, innate patterns of sexual desires set in. Here she will eventually find herself awakened and find herself instinctually exploring more intimate realms of sexuality. She will find intimacy on a much deeper level, deeper than she ever thought was humanly possible.

Ownership of the ALDD book gives immediate membership to the ALDD forum. By sending a private email to Mr Lovingdd requesting to join, ensures such membership. Such a forum is of immense benefit to many couples, who can openly discuss any aspect of the ALDD lifestyle. This group which is steadily accumulating in numbers, has been a remarkable support to many people including myself.

Some people wonder whether it is possible to skip the Loving Domestic Discipline book and go straight onto the Advanced Loving Domestic Discipline book? I believe that to truly understand the message in Advanced LDD it is necessary to have a firm grip of the basic LDD principles. By missing the true philosophy behind LDD, by not being truly familiar with it in a deeper sense, people will always view ALDD as something akin to BDSM. The same applies to the understanding of LDD, by not understanding the principles set out in ALDD some people may view LDD in a very linear way, as something covertly sexual. I believe that LDD can only fully be appreciated if its sexual component ALDD is understood too. Both LDD and ALDD work in unison, they are like the yin and yang; like two halves of the same coin. One can only truly be appreciated in a deeper way, if the other is understood too. Once the true principles are understood, then LDD is opened up and understood in a completely new and innovative way. For example, there are currently articles on the LDD site which can only really be understood by having a sound knowledge of ALDD. “The Inner Slut” is one such article. Without a deep appreciation of the principles set out in the ALDD book, people reading this article may feel immediate offence or distaste. However, only when they have read ALDD can they fully understand and appreciate the principles of “Inner Slut” and place it into proper perspective. The inner slut, far from being derogatory, is the very source of the woman’s sexual expression. It is on discovering her slut instincts, via complete feminine surrender to her man, can the woman hold herself in complete sexual servitude to him – i.e., the woman can extend her sexual awareness and fully tap into her femininity and submission at any time of day or night, by allowing the connection of her slut instincts to permeate through.

This is a very intuitive and thought provoking book, rich with challenging and novel ideas. Mr Lovingdd is a highly skilled writer and truly surpasses himself in the writing of this book. A chapter of this book may be reviewed from here by clicking on "preview this book."

Announcement - Homemade Implements....

2007-07-28T15:26:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

The price of some implements seem to be extortionately high! With regular use some may wear out quickly and need replacing. I am very interested in writing a post on "Homemade Implements" and would like to pool together as many ideas as possible. If there are any readers who have successfully made an implement, please could you share your ideas by either commenting, or emailing me on: rncblog@yahoo.co.uk

I would be particularly interested why your chosen implement is so effective?
In terms of:

Noise
Safety
Portability
Ease of use
Cost effectiveness
Ease of construction
Effectiveness (deep and penetrating or light and stingy)

Thank you for your consideration.

All my best,

~C~

Quiet Implements

2007-07-22T19:01:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

The Summer vacation is soon upon us. Many teachers from the USA will almost be ready for a new school term, but teachers here in the UK are only just starting their 6 weeks off!

The problems with having our delightful offspring at home is that there is often very little privacy in terms of maintaining the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. The sounds of being spanked are often all too apparent and very difficult to conceal. Other non-spanking disciplines may have their benefits, but by and large, there is nothing more effective than a thoroughly spanked bottom.

Implements are generally very noisy. You cannot mistake the sound of a leather belt, strap or wooden paddle as the object comes into contact with the bare bottom. Ineffective discipline can leave the woman on edge and frustrated and more likely to misbehave if her Maintenance is not administered effectively. Even a hand spanking can echo and permeate through walls. Some couples who have young children wait until their children are in bed and sleeping soundly before administering/receiving discipline. Other couples with older college/university aged children struggle as their children can turn up at any hour, when least expected!

Quiet Implements are the only safe way to ensure a proper discipline or Maintenance without alerting the rest of the house hold. It is not easy finding a quiet implement, but it is worth shopping around for. The Loopy Johnny is quiet and stingy, it is also small enough to take away on vacation. As an alternative to the Loopy Johnny, Ikea have a wonderfully quiet wooden spoon in their Kitchen section (pictured above). This wooden spoon, unlike most other wooden spoons hardly emits any sound at all and has a "thuddy" effect on the disciplined woman. Sometimes the combination of using both "thud" and "sting" can ensure a more successful punishment.

So why is this particular spoon quieter than another wooden implement such as a paddle or hairbrush?

Although, it is about the same weight as a small paddle its major difference is in its shape - this particular wooden spoon has a very pronounced curve. When using the back of the spoon the rounded shape actually allows the trapped air to escape more gradually, so it creates less noise. After all, sound is just vibrating air, so a paddle gives the familiar thwacking noise because it vibrates a lot of air all at the same time. When the convex part of the spoon hits the bottom, the lower part of the curve hits the bottom before the edges, unlike the paddle. Spanking with the back of a curved hand has the same quietening effect and that is precisely the same weight as a flat hand! This isn't recommended though because the knuckle feels like a punch, but it does demonstrate the principle.

This principle also applies (I think) to the Loopy Johnny compared to a cane. The cross section of all the threads on a Loopy Johnny is approximately the same as a small cane but it is much quieter. I think this is because the strands of the Loopy all arrive at slightly different times compared to a cane, which arrives in a single stroke. The end result (ignoring the swishing sound through the air) is that the Loopy is quieter.

When choosing or making a quiet implement it is necessary to look for something that is either a defined curved shape, made of a dense material, flexible on impact or a combination of these. The aim is to get the desired force to the bottom without a single impact across a wide surface area. The more dense an object the more foreceful the impact for the same area in contact with the skin. The more convex the object, the more the impact is spread over time. The more flexible the object, the more the object deforms on contact, absorbing some of the sound. It is a general misconception that the more dense an object the more solid or rigid it is. Rubber is an excellent example of a flexible material that is very dense indeed.

New Announcements

2007-07-11T17:07:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

A couple of announcements...

1) The last few comments which you have kindly posted have bypassed my email account. Because of this I have been unaware of your comments and only came across a couple of them yesterday. As a result of this I have to moderate comments for a while, until this problem is resolved. I am sorry if I have missed out any comments.

2) I have changed the name of my site from "C's Correction" to "C's Loving Domestic Discipline Blog." The reason for the change is that this blog doesn't simply talk about my punishments anymore, but a wide variety of LDD related items. This does not mean that I will not share the details of my punishments in the future, only that there is so much more to discuss. I think that the new title portrays a more accurate description of what this blog is about.

My best to you all,
~C~

Essay - Preparing for Punishment

2007-06-29T14:59:00.000+01:00

It is a general misconception to believe that the man’s role during the woman’s punishment is active whilst the woman’s is passive. Both men and women do have very different roles when preparing for the woman’s punishment. On the face of it, the man does indeed take a more active stance. He has to choose the correct implement, plan the severity and duration, remember to adequately scold his woman, plan the best possible position for her specific offence and plan to spank her sufficiently through and beyond her tears. The woman on the other hand appears to take a more passive role. Her role is to yield to her man’s discipline and surrender herself over to his correction. This is, however, where the misconception begins. Many women tend to think that the punishment process is nothing to do with them directly. They believe that planning and overseeing that their punishment is successful is their HOH's responsibility and that it is their job to just “go with the flow.” It is, after all, their HOH who decides the punishment and the HOH who carries it out – all the woman has to ensure is that she is on the receiving end. This is in fact where a lot of problems occur. Common problems such as the inability to cry and the inability to feel full remorse and learn from their mistakes are mainly due to women not preparing themselves sufficiently, not their HOH’s inability to punish them effectively.

This essay will carefully examine different commonly used techniques that women can use to ensure a successful punishment. Although the techniques are nothing new and are all standard LDD practises, it is nevertheless important to point out that if these techniques are practised cumulatively, then these common female problems can be overcome. It is essential for the woman to prepare herself for punishment. Without correct preparation she will never experience the full benefit from her discipline.

The article will be broken down into three sections, namely, a submissive woman’s duty “Before” “During” and “After” punishment.

A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY BEFORE PUNISHMENT

(i) Apologizing

Just as soon as the woman is told of her impending discipline, she should start the process off with a heart felt apology. This apology is not some sort of decoy to try and escape from or soften the blows of her spanking; rather it is one of the first verbal affirmations, to show her HOH that she is ready for her discipline. It shows that she has taken responsibility for her actions and is in an accepting frame of mind and heart to receive the corrective measures needed to modify her behaviour.

If the woman has not taken accountability for her behaviour and feels no genuine apology, then it is up to her HOH on what action to take. Some HOH’s will wait and watch their women closely to see when they have had a change of heart. This waiting time allows their woman sufficient time to feel remorse by realising the graveness of their offence. Once the woman comes to her senses and apologises to her HOH, her punishment then resumes as normal. Other HOH’s, however, consider that the woman’s denial needs immediate punishment (or additional punishments). That swift and rapid action is necessary to put the woman into a more receptive frame of mind. If the woman is prone to stubbornly denying her wrong doing, then it is probably more beneficial to consider a more rapid approach with additional discipline.

(ii) Sir

The moment the woman is told that she is to prepare for punishment she should call her HOH “Sir”. Calling her man "Sir" is extremely important, since it instantaneously transforms her husband from someone she may have joked, teased and flirted with a moment ago, to a man in authority. Although the HOH is always in authority, calling her man "Sir" deepens these authoratitive instincts. It makes him step up his duty as HOH, so that he firmly spanks her to tears inorder to correct her wayward misbehaviour or attitude.

By addressing her man as “Sir,” the woman is helping to release her submissive tendencies. She is verbally reaffirming her femininity, obedience and respect for her man. It is a non-direct way of telling her man that she is prepared for the discipline he is about to bestow. The title “Sir” helps to highlight their gender differences, it helps to restore the natural balance of their masculine and feminine energies. Addressing her man as “Sir” reaffirms her HOH of his manly duty and authority over her. Her HOH is reaffirmed as her leader and Head of House who knows how best to discipline, guide cherish and protect her.

Some women call their HOH’s “Sir” all the time, whilst others do so only during the disciplinary process. Whether the woman calls her HOH “Sir” all the time, or only during discipline is up to the individual couple. It is, however, crucial to call her HOH “Sir” before, during and after each and every punishment.

(iii) Corner Time

Corner Time is possibly the most important time for women to prepare for their spanking. It is a woman’s duty to take full advantage of Corner Time and use this time effectively. Corner Time is not simply a break from the spanking (if it is used in the middle of her punishment). It is not the time for the woman to check her watch or mentally start preparing the evening meal. Rather, it is an extremely useful time to reflect over her misbehaviour and mentally prepare herself for the ordeal of her discipline. Effective preparation during Corner Time can usually produce a successful punishment, where the woman is compliantly brought to tears without any resistance to the discipline. It is in the woman’s interest to mentally prepare for the severity of her discipline. It is certainly going to be painful and her duty as a submissive woman is to endure the pain by obediently maintaining her position.

Some women are very frightened before their punishment. Although fear can be a good thing, too much fear can make her skittish and jumpy which will more than likely take her out of position during her spanking. If the woman suffers unduly with fear she should take the opportunity during Corner Time to relax and take deep breaths. She should confirm to herself that no lasting damage will be done, that her bottom can endure even the most severe blows. She should confirm to herself that she trusts her HOH. That whatever implement he uses, she is safe in the hands of the man who loves her more than anyone else in the world.

(iv) Honesty

If the woman is guilty of committing an offence, she should communicate this immediately. If she is too frightened to face her HOH, she should journal her misconduct for her HOH to read at a later date. Not owning up to a misbehaviour is very detrimental since she mentally absolves herself from that specific wrong doing. It allows the woman to carry on regardless, thinking that her behaviour is more or less OK. If the woman is not honest about all her offences, then there is little surprise if she doesn’t feel completely remorseful and responsible for the ones she does own up to. There is little surprise that she cannot release her tears and truly experience the effectiveness of each and every punishment.

(v) Responsibility

Some women think that if their HOH forgets about a punishment that they are somehow “let off the hook.” This kind of thinking is very negative. Loving Domestic Discipline is a two way process, it is actually the woman’s responsibility to respectfully remind her HOH about her punishment. However, caution should be taken to be extra respectful whilst she is reminding her HOH - since she is migrating into his territory. Some HOH’s may feel undermined about the woman’s reminder and feel that their authority is challenged. If the woman’s HOH does not take kindly to being reminded, the woman should journal an entry stating that no punishment took place. She should also enter her feelings about it. If she was relieved she should say so, or if she was upset that she had needed the punishment to unburden her and bring her forward as a better person, then that is what she should write. She should remember to write honestly and not just say what she thinks her HOH wants to hear. Writing a truthful account of her feelings will serve as a useful landmark in evaluating how much her thoughts and actions have improved over time and how much she has grown as a woman.

If the woman feels frustrated about her man’s forgetfulness and knows he won’t take too kindly to a reminder, she should take responsibility over her frustration. She should go for a run or long walk and try to vent off some of this frustration. Picking an argument in the hopes that he may spank her, is just childish. Bratting should never be engaged in, no matter how much the woman is in need of her spanking. At the other end of the scale, it is also very childish for the woman to refuse punishment by making up some lame excuse of having a bad migraine or period pain. If the woman is irresponsible and inclined to such deception then the discerning HOH should deal with these issues under a separate punishment.

It is the woman’s responsibility to come when called and promptly start preparing herself for punishment. Stalling the disciplinary process by procrastinating or being unduly slow should also be dealt with severely. Anything that hinders the flow of correction is both detrimental to the woman and a waste of her HOH’s time. The woman should not be at all surprised if she does not truly benefit from her discipline if 99% of the time she is fighting her punishment each step of the way.

A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY DURING PUNISHMENT

(i) Remaining Silent

During the woman’s spanking there should not be any verbal communication with her HOH, unless he directly asks her a question, or requires her to count out each impending stroke. If the woman genuinely feels nauseous, dizzy or ill, then that is the only time she should respectfully communicate this to him. Her spanking is not a time to exercise her vocals and scream at the top of her voice, nor is it a time to yell or plead for her spanking to stop. The preparation time before her punishment, should have placed her in a more accepting frame of mind to welcome the spanking as a much needed tonic,which will help her grow as a woman. Yelling or pleading for her punishment to stop is not helping her benefit from her punishment. By submissively accepting her spanking and meekly complying, she will be more receptive to her own emotions and will not fight her surrender to catharsis.

(ii) Holding Position

There is no doubt that the woman’s spanking will hurt. There is no doubt that a punishment spanking is meant to be an unpleasant experience. Discipline is meant to hurt. If it was a pleasant experience then it would have no effect punitively and there would be a danger of the woman misbehaving on purpose. Holding position without kicking, clenching, pushing up, twisting from side to side or blocking is possibly one of the most difficult challenges for the woman. The woman must work on submissively yielding to her swats without coming out of position. Coming out of position not only makes her HOH’s job harder, but it is also cheating the woman out of an effective punishment. If all her energy is concentrated on rebelling then she won’t be in a submissive frame of mind necessary for catharsis. By compliantly maintaining her position she will discover the very profound depth of her femininity and submission. As soon as she stops fighting her spanking she will find herself rewarded by becoming so much calmer and in tune with the whole disciplinary process. Her contrition and remorse will bring her deeper into accepting her punishment rather than rebelling against it. Once her mind becomes more focused on her misbehaviour rather than rebellion, she will find herself entering a new awareness where her complete obedience during discipline results in her deep cathartic surrender.

(iii) Accepting Each Discipline Graciously

Even if the woman is implicated in an offence she did not commit she should nevertheless prepare for her punishment in the same way regardless. If she has committed no offence she will still benefit from her punishment. She can use it as a practise session to work on her obedience and submission. For many women this seems unduly harsh if not unfair, but the alternative to this by refusing discipline would seriously undermine her man’s masculinity. It is the woman’s duty as a submissive woman to constantly uphold her man’s authority. It is not easy being a HOH, the woman’s job is to obey and comply - such obedience from the woman strengthens her HOH’s leadership and resolve.

Accepting an unjust punishment is possibly one of the most difficult tasks for a woman. However, accepting her punishment when it was not her fault does have far greater rewards. By graciously yielding herself to an offence she did not commit enhances the epitome of her femininity and submission. After some time has elapsed she should of course tell her HOH that it wasn’t her fault. Her HOH at this point may feel terrible; it would be up to the woman to put his mind at rest by telling him how much the discipline had helped her with her submission. This also greatly rewards the woman since the HOH will think her submission and obedience to him as quite exemplary.

Naturally, if the woman has a chance before the unjust discipline to respectfully communicate to her HOH that she is innocent then she should of course do so. But a situation may present itself where the HOH is very angry and wants to take immediate action. The woman should naturally, never communicate her innocence before her spanking in such a situation, since it may end up in a battle of wills. Such refusal would tarnish her submission and undermine her man’s role as HOH. The woman’s duty is to uphold her man and lovingly support him in his role.

A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY AFTER PUNISHMENT

(i) Thanking

After the woman’s spanking has come to an end it is the time to thank her HOH for his efforts. Some women are so grateful that they fall to their knees and orally felate their HOH. Whilst with others, the closeness and reconnection after discipline follow their flow into making wonderful love together. Whatever transpires, it is absolutely essential for the woman to remember to thank her man properly.

After a thorough spanking the woman will generally feel a mixture of tiredness and a very sore bottom - her bottom will usually feel like severe sunburn. But the overriding feeling that eclipses her tiredness and soreness is a great sense of relief. The woman will feel that a great weight has been lifted, that she has truly been redeemed and forgiven by her HOH. The safety, comfort and bonding after a punishment spanking are the most profound experiences, which restores the harmony balance and inner peace for the woman. Restoring the woman’s balance and bringing her inner peace and happiness must be properly thanked. It is the woman’s duty to always remember to thank her HOH.

(ii) Strategies – The Way Forward

Effective punishment results in an outcome where the woman has hopefully learned from her discipline. She has learned her lesson well so that she is less likely to perform the same mistake again. Such an outcome is, however, unlikely if the woman has not fully taken on board the changes needed to improve her misbehaviour. One of the most basic things a woman can do is to always communicate to her HOH how the discipline has helped her. Usually after thanking her man for her spanking, the woman should discuss ways forward which will help her eliminate her undesirable behaviour from repeating itself. She should submissively ask her HOH for his guidance so that she does not fall into the same trap again. Such an act reaffirms her HOH’s role as her leader. It provides her with his wisdom as he counsels her with the necessary manoeuvres and strategies needed to help her progress forward. It also clarifies to her HOH that his woman has taken her punishment seriously. By asking for advice on how to make further progress with her good and desirable behaviour actively involves and implicates her in the punishment process.

To conclude: This essay has tried to show that the woman needs to take an active involvement in her discipline. Traditionally, the man will continue to take a more physically active role; however, the woman’s preparation (although not always externally visible) is nevertheless equally important. Together the man and his woman make a successful team when it comes to creating a successful and effective punishment.

The woman should remember that successful discipline involves her input just as much as her HOH’s. She should take every opportunity before, during and after her punishment to deepen her feminine awareness and submission. Taking every step to successfully prepare for her discipline is the woman’s duty as a submissive wife. It is the woman’s duty to work along side her man and support his role as HOH. She is not some irresponsible child who has no notion of what is good for her. As she chose to live this lifestyle because she recognised the benefits as a woman, she must now work hard at achieving the end result. The mental preparation required by the woman is crucial to ensuring she experiences the very depth of her emotions and full submission during punishment.

Different Types of Spanking

2007-05-31T22:02:00.000+01:00

Before we started living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, I thought that there were only two types of spankings – “punishment” and “erotic.”

I have managed to come up with twelve different Domestic Discipline spanking techniques (most of them from the LDD website). The first seven are applied without the woman misbehaving and committing an offence, whilst the remaining five concentrate more on punishment. This post hopefully serves as a useful summary of all the different LDD spanking methods. If anyone can think of anymore DD related spanking techniques I will gladly add them to the list…

Good Girl (GG) spankings are used to reward the woman’s good behaviour. The woman’s HOH may verbally call his woman a “good girl” whilst spanking her. Such verbal affirmation, allows the woman to surrender her femininity during the interplay of their masculine and feminine energies. Since the woman has been good and deserving of such attentions, she will experience her man’s authority whilst she is in a highly positive, loving and submissive frame of mind. By verbally telling his woman that she is a “good girl” during her spanking, the HOH is honouring his woman’s natural submission; reinforcing her obedience and allowing her feminine sweetness to flow.

Erotic Spankings are usually used as sexual foreplay. They can also be used during sex to heighten the intensity of the woman’s orgasm. Although erotic spankings are not purely part of the Domestic Discipline lifestyle (erotic spankings apply to many spanking genres) there are many LDD practitioners who also engage in the sensual aspects to spanking.

Stress Relief spankings are implemented when the woman is stressed. The woman need not have done anything wrong (so far) but may be on the edge of misbehaving by losing her temper. The spanking not only alleviates her stress, but it also prevents her from receiving a Punishment Spanking caused by argumentative behaviour or other negative moods from building up.

This Stress relief fridge magnet can be bought from the Loving Domestic Discipline store at Cafe press. Click here.

Introductory Discipline is usually a spanking which is administered only once or twice at the very beginning of a LDD relationship. It is the first spanking a man gives his woman. Introductory Discipline is very important since it allows the man to see how her bottom responds to the various implements and degrees of severity. It also allows the HOH to see if the woman’s bottom will easily bruise, welt, or if the skin breaks easily. The Introductory Discipline is an ideal time for the man to iron out any kinks, so that when the woman is spanked for punishment, the process should go smoothly without any unexpected hiccups. The woman will also benefit greatly from Introductory Discipline. She will be able to practice at submissively maintaining her position without clenching, twisting, blocking or kicking. (Mr Lovingdd’s Introductory Discipline article can be accessed here)

Pre-emptive Discipline is given as a preventative measure to ensure that the woman does not misbehave in a given situation. Such a method is usually reserved for occasions where the woman has a repeated history of committing the same offence. If we take the example of overspending at the mall, a loving HOH will give his woman a pre-emptive spanking before she embarks on her shopping spree. This is to help and remind her to keep within her household budget and expenditure. Pre-emptive spankings are very beneficial to the woman, since it takes the woman out of a neutral situation (she has committed no offence) into a highly positive one. Such spankings positively reinforce the message for the woman to continually behave in an appropriate way by not repeating the same negative pattern of behaviour. (Mr Lovingdd’s Pre-emptive Discipline article can be accessed here)

Submission Spankings are also known as “just because” spankings. The woman will receive a spanking for no particular reason than just because the HOH decides to spank her; or just because the HOH feels that she may benefit from receiving a good spanking. Submission Spankings, as the title depicts, will help a woman with her submission to her HOH. These spankings will leave her with no doubt that she is subject to her HOH’s authority. Submission Spankings are also sometimes referred to as reminder spankings. They are very beneficial in reinforcing the woman’s submission and reminding her of her obedience and respect to her HOH. (Mr Lovingdd’s Submission Spanking article can be accessed here)

Artwork by Patty at Creative Spanko Wench

Maintenance Discipline is the second most important disciplinary method - second only to Punishment Spanking. Maintenance Disciplinary spankings help to “maintain” a good behaviour and attitude. For Maintenance Discipline to be effective it is important for the HOH to establish a regular Maintenance Discipline session. Maintenance Discipline is highly beneficial since it is conducted when the woman has committed no punishable offence. Thereby, the woman is in a neutral frame of mind and from this neutral frame of mind the woman is elevated to a more positive and loving frame of mind and heart. The regular use of Maintenance spankings is extremely effective at reducing the need for Punishment Spankings. If the HOH finds that he has to frequently administer Punishment Spankings, then by increasing the administration of Maintenance Discipline, the need for punishing his woman will drop considerably. Some women have Maintenance Discipline once a week, whilst others have it applied daily (or even every morning and night). Although the frequent use of Maintenance spankings will always benefit a woman’s submission and femininity, Maintenance Discipline should be regarded in a fluid sense and should not be applied in some static way. As Mr Lovingdd states, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” In other words, if a woman’s behaviour or attitude gets progressively better, then Maintenance Discipline could be applied less frequently. If her behaviour or attitude gets progressively worse then more Maintenance Discipline is required. Reducing the use of regular Maintenance Discipline requires a dramatic improvement in both the woman’s behaviour and attitude. Even if the woman has not committed any punishable offences but has a negative attitude, then the frequent use of Maintenance Discipline will help keep her in a more feminine, gentle and submissive frame of mind. The two most important things for the HOH to remember are to firstly, try and set aside a regular time, so that the woman is routinely disciplined at the same time and day. If the HOH is lax in his routine of applying Maintenance Discipline then the woman’s behaviour will probably worsen. A woman needs to feel secure through her HOH’s consistency and determination. Without the consistency of a regular set time for her Maintenance Discipline, the woman may start to doubt her HOH’s resolve and may feel emotionally abandoned by him. The second important issue is that it is always better to spank the woman using Maintenance Discipline more than is actually necessary. This is because the woman will always benefit in her femininity and submission by ensuring her role to her HOH. If she is spanked less than is required then non-submissive problems and negative attitudes can occur. (Read Mr Lovingdd’s Maintenance Discipline article here)

A woman can record, monitor and indeed “quantify” her own success and achievement by working out her “Average Maintenance Ratio.” Her aim is to try and decrease the amount of Punishment Spankings she receives. Reducing her Punishment Spankings will only be effective by the increase of regular Maintenance Discipline. If she has more Punishment Spankings than Maintenance Discipline, or breaks even with a percentage of 50% or below, she will need more Maintenance. Usually women should strive at having an AMR of 75% and above. These figures only act as a guide to help women gauge their behaviour. The AMR will be in a constant flux of change. If a woman has a particularly bad week, she can always strive to improve her figures for the next month. The woman’s maintenance ratio can be recorded by dividing the number of Maintenance Spankings by the total number of spankings (both Maintenance and Punishment) e.g. if the number of Maintenance spankings for the month are 4 and the number of Punishment 1 it would be a ratio of 4:5 (4 divided by 5 = 0.8) 80%. The woman can also use the Maintenance Calculator on the LDD site which works out the maths and leaves an encouraging comment after each calculation. This empirical approach to monitoring a woman’s behaviour is a revolutionary invention designed by Mr Lovingdd. (The interactive, easy to use, online Maintenance Calculator can be accessed here.)

Punishment Spankings are implemented for the purpose of modifying a woman’s misbehaviour. The three most common areas of misbehaviour in the LDD lifestyle are known as the 3 D’s, namely, “Disobedience” “Dishonesty” and “Disrespect.” If the woman crosses these boundaries she will usually be faced with a Punishment Spanking. Punishment Spankings are quite different to the other spankings mentioned above, since here the woman is taken from a negative situation and brought back into a neutral one. Her HOH will strive to bring her down a peg or two. Not to bring her down below his level, but down to his level. Many women that are about to be punished, or have misbehaved have so much pride that they try to elevate themselves above their HOH. It is essential to break through the woman’s emotions so that she can be brought back down to reality and be more accepting of her offence and punishment. Scolding the woman and leaving her in a humiliating position, in preparation for her spanking, are usually strong enough to break through her barriers of pride. Some women do, however, need more advanced techniques of ALDD, to break through their wilfulness and insubordination.

The main purpose of a Punishment Spanking is for the woman to reach remorse and contrition by means of a “Tearful Discipline.” This is generally achieved by both humiliation and a severe spanking which will leave her crying very hard. By crying cathartically she is completely surrendering her will to her HOH. By surrendering her will to her HOH’s authority she is firmly brought back in touch with her femininity and submission. She will feel in no doubt that she is subjected to her man’s authority where she will feel completely protected, loved and safe. The emotional intensity and profound reconnection after a Punishment Spanking results in a deeper bonding and closeness, which is unparallel to anything experienced. Even lovemaking cannot match the emotional intimacy and intensity of the couples union, as the after effects of a good Punishment Spanking. (Mr Lovingdd’s Tearful Discipline article can be read here)

The Short Sharp Shock Spanking differs completely from a punishment spanking. Although it is also a punitive disciplinary measure, it does not offer the same deep cathartic cleansing from the aftermath of a Punishment Spanking.

The SSS Spanking is, however, very effective at immediately nipping the problematic behaviour in the bud. The misbehaving woman is spanked instantly without any preparation or ceremony. She will immediately have her skirt pulled up and panties yanked down, as her HOH applies a swift, firm spanking to her bottom. Such a sharp reminder is often very effective with habitual misbehaviours such as swearing, or nail biting. Bad habits such as these may have gone many years unnoticed and as a result have become deeply entrenched and hard to eradicate. The SSS Spanking will condition the woman to equate her misconduct with sharp pain, so that she is reconditioned to behave in an acceptable manner.

A useful way of using the SSS Spanking technique is to combine it with a Punishment Spanking. For example, a woman may be required to record each time she is caught swearing into her journal. If she exceeds a certain amount of SSS Spankings for the same offence in a month, she may then need the more severe measure of discipline (i.e. Punishment Spanking) to drive the message home.

Adult spanking illustrations by Endart can be accessed here.

Transformational Discipline is also referred to as the “Avoid At All Costs” spanking, by practitioners of Christian Domestic Discipline. A Transformational

Discipline spanking is something which is only reserved for very rare and extremely serious misdemeanours. Transformational Discipline is usually administered at the same severity as a Punishment Spanking (technically as severe as the woman’s bottom will withstand.) The main difference between Punishment and Transformational type spankings is that in Transformational Discipline the duration of the spanking is usually doubled. So if a woman receives a Punishment Spanking lasting ½ an hour, Transformational spanking would last a whole hour.

To ensure that the woman’s bottom can accommodate such a long and severe spanking, it is essential that her bottom is prepared with the use of a proper “warm up.” By slowly increasing the intensity of the swats the woman’s bottom will be able to withstand both the severity and length of the Transformational Discipline spanking.

A Transformational Discipline will reap immediate positive results in a woman’s attitude and behaviour. It is a spanking which leaves the woman totally “transformed.” The word “transform” means to change shape. “Trans” meaning to move (like transport) and “form” meaning shape – a mathematical term meaning moving from one shape to another. Transformational Disciplinary spankings do not simply modify her current misbehaviour, but it completely eradicates it. Hence, the woman changes shape, she transforms, she completely moves from a negative behaviour and attitude into a positive one. (Mr Lovingdd’s Transformational Discipline article can be read here).

Art work by Paula Russell can be accessed here.

Multiple Discipline is applied via a series of Punishment Spankings two or more times in the same day. Sometimes a woman just doesn’t learn her lesson and continues to repeat her negative attitude and behaviour. When this happens the woman will need a second or even third Punishment Spanking to help her understand the error of her ways. Multiple Discipline will help the woman learn her lesson in no uncertain terms. The actual implementation of Multiple Discipline is very painful to the woman, who has to endure spankings on her bottom which is already very sore from her previous spanking.

Mr Lovingdd likens a woman’s misbehaviour to the layers of an onion. He claims that each spanking removes a layer. Sometimes, however, there are several “onion layers” which need removing. Each time a woman is spanked her behaviour improves – thus, a layer is peeled away. Sometimes, improvements may not necessarily be related to the behaviour which got her into trouble in the first place (i.e. the woman is continually misbehaving and in need of Multiple Discipline) it is important to realise, that the first spanking wasn’t simply a waste of time. The first spanking would have dealt with other important (albeit indirectly related) behaviours and attitudes.

The benefits from Multiple Discipline give the woman the certainty that her continued misbehaviour will not be tolerated. Such consistency is very reassuring to the woman who will learn that her misbehaviour will always receive the same fate and not go unnoticed. (Mr Lovingdd’s Multiple Discipline article can be accessed here)

This "Spank in Time Saves Nine" mouse mat can be bought from the Loving Domestic Discipline store at Cafe press. Click here.

Disobedience Discipline is extra discipline incurred for disobedience; it is normally only applied during the punishment process. One of the biggest acts of disobedience and disrespect a woman can commit is when she violates her own punishment. The disciplinary process is there for her own good so that she can learn and grow from her mistakes. Yelling, kicking, clenching, swearing, blocking, twisting or pushing up out of position, are all very detrimental to the disciplinary process and should be punished by a firm Disobedience Discipline.

Many comments arise, from people saying that it is not humanly possible for a woman to remain in such an obedient state during discipline. That the sheer pain will make her go into “reflex” mode where she will automatically start to twist, clench, block etc… Whilst it maybe true that submission during discipline can be extremely difficult at the start of the LDD lifestyle, one of the main purposes of Maintenance Discipline is to regularly teach the woman how to submit during her spankings. Once the woman becomes truly submissive in both mind and heart, she will totally submit her weaker surrendering energies over to her man’s stronger and authoritative ones. She will understand that resistance to her HOH’s methods of correction are the biggest acts of disobedience that she can commit. She will also understand that resistance displays an incredible amount of disrespect to her man; it actually challenges his role as HOH and makes a whole mockery of the disciplinary process. Women should try to avoid Disobedience Discipline by taking the time to reflect and prepare themselves in their submission before their spanking. If they get Corner Time prior to discipline, they should use this time effectively to prepare themselves emotionally and not prevent their HOH from his duty, in implementing his loving but firm correction. (Mr Lovingdd’s Disobedience article can be accessed here.)

Artwork by Paula Russell can be accessed here.

Triple Meme

2007-05-31T21:45:00.000+01:00

Reesa has recently asked me to do a triple meme. Sorry I'm late with it Reesa, I've had lots of family issues to contend with. I'm really happy to be back blogging again. :-)

Three Things That Scare Me:
Spiders

Confined spaces

The dark

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
Ricky Gervais

Lenny Henry

Billy Connolly

Three Things I Love:
Submitting to my HOH

Long hot (shared) bubble baths

Hiking in the mountains

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:
Being told off

Being cold

Being ill

Three Things I Don’t Understand
Why I repeatedly make the same mistakes and get spanked for the same misbehaviour.

Why I repeatedly misbehave when I know that what I'm doing is wrong.

More advanced ICT

Three Things On My Desk:
A cup of tea

Computer

Mouse and mouse mat

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
Drinking tea

Typing this meme

Listening to music

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
I want to see the spread of LDD or DD

I want to see a more peaceful world

I want to see a world where the man is the head of every house hold.

Three Things I Can Do:
Dance

Play the piano

Cook/bake

Three Things I Can’t Do:
Have a Maintenance Ratio of 100%

Drive a car

Type really fast

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

God

Your HOH

Your inner self

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
Gossip

Rumours

People with negative attitudes and behaviours.

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
To be more submissive and pleasing to my man.

To do something arty like sculpture or pottery.

To learn to drive a car (I don’t really want to do this but think I should)

Three Favorite Foods:
Mexican

Thai

Caribbean

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
Little House on the Prairie

The Walton’s

Ballet Shoes

Three Things I Regret:
Disappointing my HOH

Procrastinating

Losing touch with a lot of school friends

The three people I will tag are Lori, Sirs Little One and Em

I've been tagged!

2007-05-08T20:05:00.000+01:00

I've never blogged anything as fun as this before.... Ressa recently tagged me with these questions. :-)

Question number 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?
In order:

1) Was expelled from a very prestigious Catholic boarding school for practising my ballet on top of the school roof late one night.
2) Lost touch with so many good friends from school which came from all over the world (wish I knew where they are all now!)
3) Smoked both cigarettes and ganga as a rebellious teenager (Very nasty habit!!)

Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?

My HOH of course!

Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?

1) Martin Luther King
2) General Sikorski
3) Bruno Schultz
4) Steve Biko
5) Fr.Maximilian Kolbe

Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

1) End world poverty
2) Keep healthy to a ripe old age
3) To do something good and worthwhile before I die.

Question number 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

We don’t have a large theatre or any good bookshops.

Avoid walking along parts of the coast late at night, the tides come up very fast and can leave you stranded.

Question number 6: Name one event that has changed your life?

The Loving Domestic Discipline Lifestyle has certainly changed my life!!

Question number 7: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.

I will tag: Wisty, Rivka, Sir's little one, Lori and Patty

~C~

Essay - Leading the Leader...?

2007-04-21T01:14:00.000+01:00

This essay examines potential problems a woman may face when she starts a new relationship with a man who is new to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

What does a woman do when she is faced with a new relationship to a man who has never heard, yet alone engaged in Loving Domestic Discipline? What does she do if she has previously engaged in the full glory of the LDD lifestyle in her previous relationship and wants to sustain this wonderful way of loving and living? How does a woman successfully, yet submissively, communicate this lifestyle to him?

The first major stumbling block is when does she tell him about her need for discipline? If she tells him straight away (on her first date) she risks making an absolute fool of herself and losing her credibility. Understanding the psychological mechanisms behind LDD is not something that he will immediately understand. It will take time before he starts to understand the deeper implications. If he doesn’t consider her a fool, he may alternatively think that she is really kinky and is signalling her need for kinky sex, thus losing her womanly respect. Neither of these two outcomes seems very favourable. However, if she waits until they have established a close and loving relationship, where they have both invested a considerable amount of time, effort and emotion and then tells him, isn’t she being deceitful? Won’t he be angry that she didn’t tell him straight away? If he has invested his time and effort on this girl who he believes he is compatible with and then realises that LDD is not something you plug out of but is a 24/7 lifetime commitment, how on earth would he react? Both these scenarios pose a difficult dilemma.

The important thing for the woman to remember is that Loving Domestic Discipline emerges from very natural tendencies. It is very natural for the man to want to protect the woman and act chivalrously. It is very natural for the man to expect a sweet feminine woman who submits her femininity to him. As they engage on their first date a lot of non-verbal communication will transfer between the couple as they explore each others energies. Usually on the first date, the woman will immediately know if the man has enough masculine authority to make a suitable HOH. She will immediately feel his masculine sexual energy and know if he has enough masculine dominance and charisma to sweep her of her feet and bring out the core of her submission.

It is important for the woman to realise is that every man is a potential HOH. Wife spanking and loving discipline is something that goes back to the dawn of civilization. It is not some new fangled sexual trend. It is both natural and highly desirable. It is binding the couple ever closer in unity and love. It promotes positive attitudes, peace, harmony and an unimaginable closeness. To lovingly discipline a woman is something innate and inbuilt into the very fabric of his masculinity.

“The memory of how to spank a woman is stored in your genes if you are a man. You don't need to worry too much about it, or think too hard. Just do it.” (Lovingdd site)

The man, however, would have probably been taught not to follow his natural urges. Since childhood he would have been warned that it is wrong to hit a girl and make her cry. He would have been taught that men never hit women, to do so would render the man violent and an abuser. The woman will, therefore, have a hard time ahead trying to bring the natural tendencies into the man’s awareness. Some men are more open and receptive than others. It is really hard to judge both when and how the woman should convey her needs for discipline to the man.

Once this big step is taken, the next huge hurdle looms ahead… How does the woman respectfully divulge the lifestyle to him? How does she submissively, yet successfully lead the leader?

Teaching…

When you lead someone to do something, you are instructing them. The very notion that a submissive woman can “instruct” a potential HOH to do something is highly objectionable. HOH’s instruct submissive women obey. Leading the leader would not be a desirable action for a truly submissive woman to take, so what is she to do?

When you lead you are directing someone to take action. However, when you teach you are informing someone of the potential possible action. Teaching the leader about the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle would be highly desirable and appropriate for the submissive woman providing she did this respectfully.

Communication…

Communication is essential, especially in the early days. Talking about techniques is fine, but only when there are no punishments planned. Communication must never be done before a punishment. The woman’s communication should never be seen as a way of constructing the ideal discipline, since this would be controlling. It is far more beneficial for the woman to accept whatever the man decides to give submissively, even if it did not achieve the desired effect. She should really leave him to his own devices and let him find his own way. If after several repeated attempts the HOH is still off target, the woman should wait until a considerable time has elapsed after punishment, before she communicates this to him.

Control…

The woman must allow her potential HOH to lead, even if he is floundering. She must let him find his feet and never be tempted to take the driving seat. Such an action will seriously undervalue the authority in her man. She should be prepared to back off and judge his moods and needs. Teaching someone the dynamics of LDD is very different from expecting certain prescriptive outcomes. The outcome will most likely be quite different than first imagined. It is like the analogy of giving someone the raw ingredients without knowing what the final dish will taste like. It is the submissive woman’s aim to suggest and lay down the foundations, but the potential HOH must take it from that point.

Interference…

Recognising when you’re interfering is essential as it detracts from the essence of LDD relationship. As a submissive woman it is imperative to enhance the leadership skills of her man whenever possible. This is done by continually highlighting the very positive aspects and paying little mind to the negative ones. If the potential HOH thinks he is doing a good job then he will more likely act with more confidence and determination. Constantly interfering takes away his potency and makes a mockery of his authority and masculine duty.

The woman’s previous HOH may have accepted many misbehaviours which the new one won’t tolerate and vice versa. It is imperative that the woman leaves the new HOH to his own devices. She must allow her new HOH to take his own stance and position in the house hold and not simply replace the shoes of the ex HOH.

Accountability…

A woman is accountable for her own actions. The whole dynamics of LDD will be confusing enough, without the need for minor deceptions or bratting. For example, if a particular implement is very painful and effective, this must be communicated. Being dishonest will only hinder her growth as a woman. Being dishonest will only confuse the potential HOH of the benefits of the LDD lifestyle.

Even the most submissive woman may find her behaviour slipping if the potential HOH refuses to spank his woman when she misbehaves. It is very common for new HOH’s to refuse giving their women that much needed spanking, mistakenly thinking that it is what they want. A lot of new HOH’s will reason that if the woman is misbehaving then why “reward” her with something that she wants, i.e. a spanking. It is a common misconception for new HOH’s to reason that their women want a spanking rather than need one. It will take time and gentle persuasion for the HOH to understand the dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. It will take some time before the less experienced HOH recognises the needs of his woman. In the meantime the woman should not vent her frustrations on her man and engage in bratting. She should try her very best to remain supportive and positive, even if at times she may feel quite disconnected from him emotionally.

Responsibility…

To begin with the HOH may probably waver with consistency. Although he may not always be consistent, she should be patient… However, if she finds herself feeling emotionally hurt or frustrated she should submissively communicate this to him. Although she has the responsibility of teaching her HOH without any expectations, she also has the responsibility for her own emotional well being. If she finds herself emotionally hurt or uncertain, one way of successfully communicating her uncertainty is to respectfully record the event and her feelings associated with it into her journal. When her HOH comes to read her weekly entries, he will be able to recall the event and make whatever adjustment he sees fit.

Asking…

It is perfectly acceptable for the woman to ask for a spanking, as long as she does it respectfully. Some women will kneel before their HOH and submissively confess a wrong doing. If the woman requests a stronger punishment (for whatever reason) but the HOH doesn’t think it is that serious, then a more experienced HOH would make the punishment as strong, if not stronger, to what she’s suggesting. It is perfectly acceptable for the woman to ask for a more severe spanking, as long as she is not instigating it.

For example, “Sir, I think I should be severely punished please could you use the cane?” would not be acceptable. It would be too controlling to choose the implement.

The experienced HOH will know never to give her precisely what she has asked for, however, the magnitude for what she is asking should be the same or greater. This way she retains her submissiveness and he retains his leadership and authority.

Practicalities…

There are many practicalities which ensure that the disciplinary process goes smoothly. One major Practicality to consider is the need for a good long warm up. As the HOH becomes more experienced he will recognise that the bottom may need a lengthier warm up if the weather is exceptionally cold, or if the woman is being spanked outdoors in cold weather. He will also recognise that a wet bottom from the pool or shower will also need a lengthier warm up. In order for the whole discipline to be affective resulting in a tearful discipline the bottom must be prepared by being warmed up sufficiently. Other important practicalities are health and safety issues. The HOH will need to know if his new woman suffers from any phobias or vertigo. He will need to know if she has breathing difficulties, heart problems or dizziness. He will also need to regularly check that the implements are still safe, clean and hygienic to use. Old and worn or cracked implements should be replaced. The HOH will also need to check for the safely of where she will be positioned. For example, if he wants her to kneel facing the back of a chair, then if the chair isn’t very sturdy it might topple once the spanking begins. Small tables and stools should also be checked for sturdiness and balance.

To conclude, this essay has tried to show that a continual patience and understanding in the submissive woman will more likely lead to a successful HOH, than a woman who is constantly frustrated and whining. As it probably took many years for the woman to understand and accept her role as an obedient and submissive woman, it will also take her man some time to fully understand and accept his role as the leader and head of house. However, with a lot of patience, understanding and support from the woman, the man should quickly adapt to his new role.

Although it may be tempting for the woman to get carried away and want to “lead the leader” it is imperative that she refrains from doing so. Any act of control or interference on the woman’s part will be debilitating to the natural flow between their masculine and feminine energies. It will also be seriously detrimental to the potential HOH’s authority and may seriously risk his position of ever becoming the leader that nature had intended him to be.

~C~

New Announcement

2007-04-12T06:08:00.000+01:00

Dear Readers,

I recently received an email from Ellen Hale (see below) who is giving another of her very informative workshops based on the book "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle. If there are any women who would like to go to her workshop, then please contact her: e_hale@bellsouth.net

Although the book is not based on the principles of wife spanking, it is still a very valuable insight. It very much focuses on the male led relationship, on the woman relinquishing control and surrendering herself to the leadership of her man.

Ellen wrote:

Hi ladies – I have had a lot of requests lately to hold a Surrendered Wife workshop and I am in the process of setting one up. I am trying to coordinate everyone’s preference as to day of the week and time of day to hold the workshop and am requesting that if you are interested in attending please provide me with days of the week and times of day/evening that work for you.

I am hoping to hold a workshop starting at the end of April and going into May and I look forward to hearing from you. As a reminder, here is some pertinent information regarding the workshop:

Time: 12 hour course (3 hours a week for 4 weeks)
Cost: $225.00, which includes materials
Location: Sandy Springs, GA

In March, I was honored to represent the author of The Surrendered Wife and I filmed a documentary in England on the book and its principles! For those of you who have attended a workshop, please feel free to pass this information on to others in need! I hope to see you soon and please feel free to email me or call with any questions you may have: 404-966-1169.

Ellen

Releasing Tears During Discipline

2007-03-31T00:48:00.000+01:00

I have already written an essay on “Releasing Those Tears”. This short post isn’t a regurgitation of what I have previously written; instead, I would like to draw attention to one particular (and very common) blockage which hinders many women from crying during their spankings.

In the early stages of my Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, I too found crying impossible to achieve during my discipline. I found that I would “talk” or “yell” out in pain. I would say things like, “Ow!” “Please stop!” “It’s too hard!” “I’ve learnt my lesson!” etc… I used to think that such behaviour was acceptable, reasonable and perfectly natural (under the circumstances). I was, after all, being subjected to repeated hard swats on my bare bottom, it was only natural (I thought back then) to shout out in pain, or plead for my spanking to stop.

Surprisingly, the first time I cried during discipline was when I stopped talking or yelling. I was told that my shouting out was very disrespectful and would no longer be tolerated. I was told to write a contract on how to conduct myself during discipline . I was also given enough corner time before my spanking to read through my contract and prepare my heart and mind for my upcoming punishment.

The corner time was a peacful, introspective time. Not only did it make me internalise my wrong attitudes and behaviour, but it also prepared me mentally for good "submissive" behaviour - how I should behave during my spanking. I also couldn’t just zone out during my discipline (another of my strategies). Rather, with a period of introspection, I had fully accepted the onus of my wrongdoing and was very remorseful and calmly accepting of my punishment.

When I was being spanked, I made a remarkable discovery. In my silence I became more focused on my misbehaviour and punishment and not so focused on my rebellion. My state of mind was more relaxed and readily accepting of my punishment. So much so, that the tears started to flow. My actual "shouting out" was not only disrespectful to my HOH, but it was also detrimental to myself. It was in fact a block which stopped myself from getting that release through tears. I discovered that whenever I came “close to tears” I would shout out as a way of preventing that flow. I didn’t realise this at the time, it was very much a sub-conscious act. Some women don’t verbally yell out, but clench their buttocks, kick or twist. These demonstrations of rebellion during discipline are of the same calibre and should also be discouraged. A Disobedience Discipline (additional punishment) will more than likely put an end to this type of rebellion.

Some women may argue, that they yell out during their spankings whilst they are already crying. They may argue that yelling isn't a block preventing them from crying, since it doesn't stop the onset of tears. But the tears they are shedding are not the real tears of remorse and contrition, they are selfish tears based on a hurt pride. Selfish tears will not change the woman’s attitude or behaviour. Selfish tears will only harbour resentment. They will not cleanse the woman so that she has a complete change of mind and heart. Selfish tears will not help her learn her lesson; they will not effectively take her from a negative situation into a positive one. Women who cry whilst yelling or clenching are also blocking themselves from that deeper, truer and more sorrowful cry.

The first time I cried during discipline, an interesting thing happened. I stayed silent throughout and then at the moment I felt the tears coming, I repeatedly and remorsefully said, “Thank you” to my HOH. By repeating these words I broke into catharsis straight away. This verbal emotive sign of my gratitude was understood by my HOH as a way of “releasing” an internal block which could result in tears. Whilst yelling and speaking during punishment are generally regarded as something that would block the woman's tears, on rare occasions submissively making a heart felt verbal thank you, or apology during a spanking, can act in reverse by releasing the woman's tears.

Whilst I was initially convinced that women who were unable to cry during their spanking was the result of some internal blockage. I now believe in both internal and external blockages. External blockages, by yelling or using the body to fight against tears are much more common than the mental internal blockages, such as zoning out. Women who frequently zone out may find that they were victims of abuse, and that this zoning out strategy was something they developed as young children, as a coping mechanism.

Whilst I originally believed that the release of tears could only emerge by psychologically analysing the reasons behind that internal blockage. I am now convinced that although reasons for withholding tears are indeed internal (psychologically based). Blockages for releasing that emotion are more commonly external (physically yelling out) rather than internal (mentally zoning out).

~C~

Essay - Thanking the HOH

2007-03-14T15:47:00.000Z

This essay will examine the most natural and instinctive way a woman can thank her man after discipline. Fellatio as a non overtly sexual act of gratitude will be explored, coupled with the benefits such gratitude bestows on both the man and his woman.

A Hard and Thankless Task

Has any woman ever wondered how hard her HOH’s job really is? Being the head and leader of the family can be a very tiring and frustrating task.

He has all the preparation it takes to plan a suitable punishment to fit her misbehaviour.
He has to sometimes wait and watch her carefully, before administering punishment, to see if she is truly prepared to learn her lesson.
He has the stress over whether or not she has been adequately scolded, prior to her punishment.
He has the physical discomfort in his hand or arm from repeatedly spanking her bottom.
He has the stress over whether it is his fault for not punishing her effectively, if she has repeated the same transgression over a relatively short space of time.
He has the stress over whether it is his fault (the ineffectiveness of scolding/punishment) if he fails to bring her to tears.
Not to mention the sheer unpleasantness of spanking his woman to tears and beyond. The unpleasantness of causing her to cry, of directly causing pain to her bottom for her own good.

I have read a number of posts where women vehemently deny that their HOH is stressed at all! In fact they proclaim that he is deriving immense satisfaction from punishing his wife by spanking her to catharsis and beyond! Perhaps these women are confusing a punishment spanking, Pre-emptive spanking or Maintenance Discipline with the pleasures of an erotic spanking? Surely their man cannot be so cruel as to enjoy disciplining their beloved woman until she is weeping remorsefully from both the pain and shame of her spanking? The Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is very clear in its message. It is the use of corporal punishment to eliminate negative behaviours and enhance positive behaviours. In short, it is modifying the woman’s behaviour so that she can obtain her very best potential as a woman, wife and mother.

The question which arises is how to adequately thank the HOH for all his efforts?

It goes without question that the woman verbally thanks her HOH after she has been spanked. However, some women recognise that their HOH has gone to great lengths to discipline them. Some women are so grateful that they instinctively fall to their knees and engage in what is known in LDD circles as a “formal thank you.”

A “formal thank you” is where the woman fellates her man after discipline. Some people have mistaken the “formal thank you” as a sexual act, but nothing could be further than the truth. The “formal thank you” is not the same as oral sex – it is not overtly sexual. Discouraged couples who are trying to separate discipline from sex, should rest assured that the “formal thank you,” is something completely different.

The "Formal Thank You" as a Non-Sexual Act

When considering sexual fellatio, we find that the act has a certain technique, skill and element of surprise. Often the woman plans ahead, by exploring new ways and tactics, so as to make it interesting and sexually stimulating for her HOH. The woman will herself feel sexually aroused at her man’s firm and erect penis. She will also feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at being able to satisfy her man in such a way. She will often think of new techniques and will start off by gently engaging and slowly teasing her man as she builds up the momentum. The element of surprise is crucial since it keeps her man guessing, never quite knowing her next move. Shrouding the act of fellatio in mystery and surprise may sound controlling, but nothing could be further from the truth. The woman knowing that her man derives great sexual satisfaction from her efforts, serves him submissively and obediently. The element of surprise at keeping her man second guessing, is for his sexual benefit. If she were to simply follow his explicit instructions in each and every stage of the fellating process, then her man would not reach such a deep orgasmic conclusion.

The “formal thank you,” however, loses its sense of skill, technique and surprise. After she has been punished and humbled so that she is crying very hard, sexuality is probably be the last thing on her mind. She will not be able to think of the technique, if her mind is still emotionally tuned in to the causes of her misbehaviour. She will not be able to fellate her man sexually, if her head is still resonating from the scolding and her attentions are drawn to her freshly spanked bottom. She may be sobbing quite hard and find it difficult to breath. She may find her man’s penis very wet from her tears and saliva. As she continues crying she may be struggling to gasp for breath and keep herself from choking. Although there is nothing overtly sexy in a "formal thank you" many LDD women find that it is a deeply feminine and intuitive act. An act which instinctively benefits them as women. It is something they instinctively do to show their utmost gratitude to their man. Her discipline can, therefore, remain non-sexual, as long as she is not getting any "direct" sexual gratification herself. There is no reason why the woman should not learn her lesson from her discipline and formally thank her man. In other words, her discipline would not be devalued by becoming over sexualised. The "formal thank you" is a very natural and intuitive way for a woman to show her deep felt gratitude and respect.

Many men also report that the “formal thank you” is not overtly sexual. The charge of energy that they feel, is not the same kind of passionate sexual energy they experience during the lovemaking process. They too are overcome by their woman’s emotions and are often overwhelmed by their own conflicting emotions. On the one hand, they feel pride in a job well done, by disciplining their woman effectively; on the other, they feel compassion in seeing their woman in pain and in tears. Besides their conflicting emotions, the HOH may feel physically and emotionally drained, especially if the woman’s punishment has gone on for a long time.

There are other men, however, who do find immense sexual gratification from fellatio after discipline. This is also very natural. The important thing is, for his woman not to gain any direct sexual gratification from it herself. Otherwise, the main purpose of her discipline will become clouded, she will not learn such a valuable lesson.

How the "Formal Thank You" Benefits the HOH

For a man, there is no other sight more beautiful than his woman submissively fellating him after she has been punished. As she kneels before him weeping remorsefully, she shows her utmost gratitude in the most profoundly feminine way. A deeply thankful act, which humbly thanks her man for putting so much time and effort into her personal development and growth.

The “formal thank you” goes beyond the physical gratification of sexual fellatio. It is a profoundly submissive act. The woman’s submission is a non-verbal way of showing immense gratitude to her man. This gratitude is extremely valuable, since it endorses his place as HOH and leader of the home. The HOH benefits since it reaffirms his place in the relationship as her leader, who has the duty to love, cherish and discipline her when she misbehaves.

The man will also benefit since it reaffirms that he has done his job correctly. It isn’t just a “thank you,” but a BIG “thank you.” He will feel that he will have carried out his task well. It is the "completion" of the discipline. The whole process of discipline and reconnection is not complete without the woman's physical display of gratitude. It is the missing piece of the jigsaw – the act of the “formal thank you,” after discipline, comes full circle and harmoniously brings everything back into its rightful place and conclusion.

As the woman humbly falls to her knees and felates her man, she is driven by pure instinct to seek his approval and reconnection. This instinct is two fold, since it also releases her man’s instinct as her protector. Her HOH benefits since the “formal thank you” endorses the message that she truly belongs to him. It endorses the message that she has obediently surrendered herself to his will.

How the "Formal Thank You" Benefits the Woman

The woman is very grateful to her HOH for that reconnection. Her man’s penis serves as a very strong, potent and physical awareness of his maleness and authority. It also acts as a direct reminder of her service and obedience to him. She should, however, always politely ask his permission if she may thank him in this way. Her man may be busy with other engagements and it may not always be possible. She should never just presume that she can fellate him after discipline.

The wise HOH will, however, try and find the time necessary to incorporate the "formal thank you." He will recognise the immediate healing benefits to his woman. The reconnection during the “formal thank you” is truly beneficial to the woman. She has been stripped from all her clothes and stripped from all her pride. She kneels before him in a truly vulnerable state, with no barriers between herself and her man. She is in an emotionally charged and contrite state, a female who has just undergone a spanking from her man.

In tears, with puffy swollen eyes, she does not look her best, to say the least. She is not wearing some sexy lingerie, she is not feeling romantic or sexually aroused. She is nude from clothes and stripped from pride, she has no place to hide. She feels small, vulnerable and dishevelled, with her hair hanging over her face. Her eyes and bottom are both crimson red, she feels humbled and exposed. Her tear stained face, runny nose and continual sobbing bring her back to the very foundation of her femininity. She surrenders herself in gratitude and fellates her man in this state. She is loved and cherished for who she is, not for what she looks like. This is very important message to the woman. Her man sees her as her parents would have seen her, a tearful and naughty little girl. Her HOH sees her as his naughty girl who he has just had to punish. Women spend so much time, money and effort on “looking good,” it is part of being female to look good at all times. Some women find it very uncomfortable to show themselves to their men in such a dishevelled state. Being dishevelled brings them back to the "care free" state when they were young children. This is why complete nudity is recommended to break through the barriers, so that the woman has nothing to hide behind.

It is very important for the woman's submission to prepare for punishment stripped from both make-up and clothes. Some women wear make-up like a mask to hide behind and her clothes are tailored to portray a certain image. Her nakedness is important to break through those barriers. Being nude she feels more "childlike." Being spanked to tears removes all notions of sexuality from her nakedness. It is important for her to be stripped back to the very core of her femininity, so that during fellatio she can establish that deeper level of emotional bonding and reconnection with her HOH.

To lovingly fellate her man after discipline is of immense benefit to the woman. By being allowed to suck on his most manly possession, the most potent symbol of his masculine authority, the woman is reaffirmed of her position in the relationship. She is reaffirmed as his submissive and obedient partner. She is comforted and soothed by her man’s organ in a similar way an infant is comforted and soothed by their mother’s breast. It is a profoundly deep and reaffirming experience for the woman. By being verbally told that she has been forgiven by her HOH is extremely important. By being allowed to reconnect by soothing her sorrow as she kneels in humble fellatio is immensely healing for the woman. It reinforces and cements the strong bonds in their relationship; it often creates new bonds or strengthens existing bonds in an inordinately strong way. It sends a non-verbal message to his woman that she is his “good girl” that she is loved, cherished and forgiven.

Conclusion

HOH’s have a very difficult and sometimes thankless task in trying to modify their woman’s behaviour. The “formal thank you” is both an instinctive and intuitive act of service, gratitude and reconnection. Many women instinctively fall to their knees and orally thank their men as a token of their immense appreciation. Just as many men instinctively know how to best discipline their women, many women know how to instinctively best thank their men. Whether the men derive full sexual gratification, or whether it is diluted by the highly charged emotional energies surrounding him is irrelevant. What is of importance is for the woman to stay focused on the causes of her punishment and not derive any pleasure from it herself. This post has tried to outline a few points which clarify that the “formal thank you” need not necessarily be overtly sexual for either party. It has also outlined some of the many binding benefits for both the HOH and his woman.

~C~

Essay - Submission in the Work Place

2007-02-16T17:37:00.000Z

I would like to reflect on more ideas pertaining to what it truly means to be a submissive woman. In my last post I discussed that submission directly derives itself from sexuality, from the manifestations of the masculine and feminine energies. I also discussed the importance of maintaining that submissive awareness when the HOH is not present, namely in the work place. Today I would like to extend and explore these ideas a little further....

Although it is not a pre-requisite for women living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle to remain in a submissive state when not in the presence of their HOH, it is certainly very desirable to do so. One of the main reasons for this importance lies in whether a woman truly has the attributes of being submissive, or whether she struggles to attain such characteristics. If she is truly in touch with her innate feminine self, then she will remain submissive regardless of what situation she may find herself in. If she is struggling with her submission then she may find herself yo-yoing between acting like a man in the work place and surrendering herself as a feminine woman to her HOH. At first glance, there may be nothing primarily wrong in maintaining two opposing characteristics, after all women are generally considered very multi-tasking. But it does, however, beg the question whether her submission to her HOH is weakened? Surely, if a woman were to attain the “deepest” levels of submission so that she could blossom and radiate in her womanhood, this could only be possible if she discarded all masculine traits from her persona?

Another problem with this yo-yoing scenario is that a woman is not a machine. If she is acting with more aggressive manly characteristics at work, it would be very difficult (if not impossible) to simply switch to her inborn feminine instincts immediately when she comes home to her HOH. I believe that many women would find such a task difficult, especially if they are in a bad mood and things at work have not gone according to plan. If she has been acting aggressively at work she will more than likely to further her aggression at home, instead of quietly talking about her bad day with calm and considered reflection. A further problem women may encounter would be at a work party, where her HOH would also be invited. If she has spent all her time behaving in a masculine way with her colleagues, she would find it very challenging to behave appropriately when faced with both her colleagues and HOH simultaneously.

I believe that this yo-yoing scenario would be very detrimental to a woman’s well being. She would find it exhausting trying to fit the mould that society expects from her whilst struggling to release her true femininity in the privacy of her home. I do not believe that such a woman would ever discover the true beauty of her womanhood where she could blossom and radiate and epitomise all that is female. I do not believe that the truest, deepest connection will ever be found between the man and his woman. The woman’s gift of submission releases the man’s leadership and protection over her and vice-versa – Loving Domestic Discipline is after all a synergistic process. Without her total unadulterated surrender the woman will never discover the depths of her femininity – she will never fully grow as a woman. Without her total unadulterated surrender she will never discover the full power and masculinity of her man. Without her total unadulterated surrender she will never experience the deep and profound loving connection between herself and her man. I believe that only with unadulterated surrender, where the woman is giving her most precious feminine gift, her submission – only then can the truest and deepest love be found.

The synergistic process between authority and submission can only work if both parties are not struggling with their natural gender roles. Loving Domestic Discipline can facilitate them both to grow in their natural roles – both the woman and her man benefit. The more a woman submits to her man, the more she will release his authority. The more authoritative her man, the more her submission will be released. It is a natural, timeless movement between the man and his woman, to act against it would not only jeopardise the woman’s femininity, but would seriously be detrimental to her man’s masculinity. There is a saying that behind every good man is a good woman; the same can be said that behind every good woman is a good man. Her man is a figure of male supremacy – the superior man. To truly honour him she must submit to him freely, she herself must become the superior woman. Not superior in the sense that she is above everyone else, but superior that she is in touch with her inner most core, her true feminine self.

In order to become her true feminine self she must accept her submission as part of her nature of being a woman. If she must work outside the home (many women do) she should be true to herself and remain within her submissive state. She should see her work as a “service” to others. By providing a service she will immediately feel less competitive and more humbled. If the woman doesn’t have to work outside the home, then she should try to serve others by taking a voluntary job. Such an act of service to the community will enable the woman gain a deeper understanding of her feminine qualities. By helping and caring for others outside her immediate family will enable the woman to gain a broader awareness of her womanhood, through her submission her femininity will be glorified. Such an act of service to the outer community will tease out her very feminine nurturing qualities, regardless of whether she has children, the nurturing of others outside her immediate family, will help her to view life less introspectively, it is after all easy for the woman to care for the people she loves. By helping others, her femininity will be strengthened, she will learn to empathise with others and become more altruistic, she will no longer carry a selfish outlook, behaviour or attitude. An act of serving others outside the home will, therefore, help to establish a much stronger and therefore more permanent submissive connection between herself and her HOH. Submission after all comes from deep within, it is the very foundation of her womanhood - it is not some outer manifestation which she can choose to adhere to whenever her mood prevails.

Many submissive women naturally put others before themselves, but then find that they are being taken advantage of. In the work place this can have disastrous consequences since the poor woman is faced with having to turn up to work daily, it’s not a situation she can easily escape from. A vicious spiral will appear and before long the woman will feel unvalued and used by her work colleagues. It is imperative for the submissive woman to be assertive. Many women mistake “assertiveness” with a masculine trait, but nothing can be further from the truth. The woman must learn to politely decline, when demands are too high. Other people often mistake submissive women as doormats, who are there at their beck and call. By firmly, but politely saying “no” she is in fact portraying her submission as something strong and powerful. She should never allow her giving nature to be taken advantage of.

By being politely assertive in the workplace, the woman will find herself less likely to misbehave and act in an unfeminine way. There may be many attempts by her colleagues to cajole her into hurtful gossip, or into other negative situations where she would be compromising her femininity. She doesn’t have to reveal that she is subjected to discipline from her husband, or even that her man is the HOH and that they are living a Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. She certainly doesn’t want to alienate herself from their company, but by the same token, she doesn’t want to fall prey into bad habits either. It would be very simple and effective for her to say, “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass on your invitation, my husband won’t like it.” If she is then quizzed or persuaded to misbehave, by being told, “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” She should assertively say, “But, I truly love my man, why would I even want to go against his wishes?” By declaring her love and the closeness of her relationship would leave her colleagues wondering about their love and commitment in their own relationships. By acting assertively the woman is a superior glowing example of a true woman - submissive, strong and determined to stand proud against the wave of feminist opposition against her.

Although it is imperative to be assertive in the workplace, it goes without saying that a woman should never display such blatant defiance with her HOH! Displaying assertive behaviour to the leader of her family would be sheer insubordination and as a consequence should be severely dealt with.

Sometimes it can be men who will intimidate the submissive woman. If they know that she is under the authority and leadership of her husband, they may expect her to submit to them too. Although, women should remain sweet, submissive and respectful to all men at all times, they should remember that only their HOH is in direct authority - only he has the wisdom, love and guidance over her. It can also be tricky if other men know about her lifestyle, they may want to know every detail of her discipline. In such a case the woman should exercise caution, especially if her discipline has any sexual overtones. Whilst some men may be genuinely curious, it would be hard to differentiate the genuine men wanting to learn about the lifestyle, from the ones who only want the information for less positive reasons.

Another often misunderstood issue pertaining to the workplace is the whole concept of money. Society has put far too much emphasis on money and its value. So much so, that money is associated with leadership and power. Unfortunately, people usually value others by how much money they make. Many women believe that if a potential HOH is not making enough money then he cannot be a good leader. But nothing could be further than the truth. In fact, very often the reverse is true. Leaders of companies are usually so stressed and tired of having the burden of all that responsibility at work, that they are usually quite laid back at home (often taking a back seat altogether!) It is generally a misconception to equate CEO’s as being great leaders within the home.

Since Western society has brainwashed its people into believing that money equates to power, it is essential for the woman to surrender this power (her money) to her HOH. Such an act will invariably help with her submission and trust in her man’s leadership. Although such a notion would not suit every woman or relationship, it is nevertheless, a truly submissive gesture of love and trust. Too many women wrongly assume that if they make more money than their man, then they are somehow above their man in station. This is a total misconception! True power comes from within a person – it actually has nothing at all to do with money. Some of the greatest leaders in the world were penniless, think of Ghandi, Mandela and the Dali Lama to name but a few examples. Any man can win the lottery and become a multi millionaire over night, but this would not make him a more powerful person or leader, it would not change his persona, who he truly is inside. Outer appearances, fine clothes, expensive car and house do not render him anymore or less of a man.

As we come to the end of our reflections on “Women in the Workplace” we have touched upon and drawn conclusions on a number of different issues. Firstly, we have illustrated the importance for a woman to try and retain her femininity (submission) at all times. Yo-yoing to and fro, by using both feminine and masculine traits at home and work, would never allow the woman to fully engage in a continuous submissive relationship. She would never discover the ultimate core of her true feminine beauty. This would also hinder her from experiencing, that deeper bond of love and trust with her man. The "true" depths of love and trust emanate from the central sexual core which comes into play when the man and woman's energies are brought to life. By maintaining her ultimate submission at all times - only then can she experience this profound and ultimate union with her man. Secondly, we have come to the conclusion that it is of vital importance for the submissive woman to be assertive in the workplace. By standing strong for what she believes in she is standing as an exemplary model of femininity for other women to follow and admire. She is strong and will not be bullied or cajoled into situations she would end up misbehaving and getting into trouble. Thirdly, we have touched upon the misconception of money and power and have briefly revisited the concept where the woman hands over her pay cheque to her leader. This acts as a way of not only totally handing herself over in trust to her man's leadership and authority, but also relinquishing power (her masculine power). Handing all power and control to her lover, leader and disciplinarian, would be one step closer to becoming the supreme, submissive female - a true godess amongst women.

~C~

Essay - Exploring Submission...

2007-01-30T11:57:00.001Z

Recently I have been examining the complexities behind submission.
I’ve found myself wondering what submission truly means...

At the heart submission is overtly sexual. The woman surrenders herself during lovemaking to her much stronger and powerful male. The most frequently demonstrated position is where the woman submissively lies on her back, whilst her mate dominates from the top exuding his masculine energies, as he thrusts his manhood deeply inside her. She must accept this most potent and masculine part of his body by submissively opening her thighs and allowing him to penetrate her. Many women have fantasies of being ravished (raped) by the much stronger male, whilst they are defenceless to protect themselves. Such fantasies are the woman craving to be “taken,” “forced” and “consumed” by the physically stronger male which acts as a backdrop enhancing their femininity and weaker sex.

In some ways there is a distinct parallel between the desire to be ravished and the desire to be disciplined – both (on one level) are the woman wanting to have her feminine submissive energies teased out by the assertion of her dominant male. By testing his manliness by either seducing him into forced sexual ravishment or bratting for a spanking is an effective way of feeling his masculine flow of energy. This masculine flow of energy, in turn eases out her submissive urges so that she can feel “taken” and “overwhelmed” by his masculine force.

I am not advocating that bratting is a good thing; it is in fact a very bad thing. I am simply highlighting the parallel between bratting and ravishment and stating that it is one way that some women who are not quite in tune with their submissive awareness tap into their submission. The synergistic process between authority and submission is extenuated as her man forces her to yield into submission. As he turns her across his knee, she at last feels his power and with his power comes that warmth and profound sense of love, protection and security she has been yearning for.

Bratting is in fact a very destructive and negative act. Whilst bratting may bring about instant gratification, it does not bring about any long term solutions. The submission experienced by the woman is in fact a pseudo-submission. The reason it is not genuine is that the submission has not been freely given by the woman, but orchestrated in a selfish and manipulative way – she is using her man as a play thing to do her will - in effect she is playing with his emotions. Her man will find himself in a world of confusion. He will never know whether her display of heinous misbehaviour is of genuine concern, or play acting for a spanking. Her man will usually feel so disillusioned that the last thing he will want to do is to pander to her wishes - when she is “deliberately” misbehaving for his attentions.

The very notion that a woman finds that she must brat extenuates the imbalance in their relationship. An example of such disequilibrium can be: Either a couple who are both new and struggling with the dynamics of their Loving Domestic Discipline relationship; a woman who is struggling with her own submission; a man who is struggling with his own authority or a combination of the above. Bratting highlights the equivocal that ultimately leads to chaos and havoc. This is the very opposite of what the purpose of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is – to create balance, peace, harmony, love and a much deeper connection between a man and his woman.

Most women don’t find it a problem tapping into their submission during lovemaking. Many women who have lived the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle for a considerable time, do not find it difficult remaining submissive throughout their spanking. But women who are fairly new to such discipline or new to the use of implements may panic when the reality of the pain and shame of their spanking becomes too unpleasant. Such women may have yearned for a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship for some time, but when the vivid all too apparent reality hits home, they find themselves blocking, twisting, kicking and clenching their bottoms. One of the reasons they panic is that they are not yet fully submissive. The profound depth of emotional surrender required may appear very different in reality than it had in fantasy.

Some women new to the lifestyle can’t cry during their spanking. Many are still struggling with their inward turmoil in refusing to yield and face up to the shame of their misbehaviour. The root of such misbehaviour is often found in the depths of the unconscious – this emotional release is a deeply cleansing and positive experience which slowly begins to unpick at the deep rooted causes of her misbehaviour. A lot of women have found that on reaching catharsis they can no longer feel the pain of their spanking, since the shame of their misbehaviour overrides the pain on their bottom, women who experience this for the first time feel truly liberated. Whilst, they start to understand the root cause of their misbehaviour, they also start to explore these deeper and more profound levels of submission. In doing so, they become more in tune with their own femininity and womanhood. They also embrace a deeply intimate union and connection with their man, becoming a whole lot closer and in tune with his wishes than they ever thought possible.

It can be clearly seen that the root of submission manifests itself from the overt inter-play of masculine and feminine energies, namely lovemaking. It can also be seen that this interplay of energies can be tapped into during the disciplinary process, in a more covert sense. But the challenging question which comes to the mind of most submissive women is how to continually remain in a submissive state, even throughout the most mundane times in their daily lives?

We have already clarified that a woman’s submission is fundamentally laced in sexuality – from the exchange of the male and female energies. Since submission is deeply rooted in sexuality, it is this heightened state of sexual awareness that the woman must strive towards in order to remain in her submissive state.

The dynamics of covert sexual energies weave themselves throughout the couple’s daily lives. A “warning” glance or being told she is a “bad” or “naughty girl” sends a shiver of dread down her spine as she subconsciously feels her bottom feeling hotter as she squirms uncomfortably. Being told she must prepare for punishment, strip and stand in the corner fills her with such fear. The fact that she will be placed naked over her man’s knee and corrected for her misbehaviour by being spanked to tears and beyond by the man she loves more than anyone else in the world, is a profoundly intimate experience. Likewise, being told what a “good girl” she is sends a shiver of excitement and pride in her own accomplishments. There is little doubt that there is a covert sexual energy between the man and his woman. Every day these dynamics are enhanced as she watches her man closely. She watches to see what small thing she can do to please him. How can she serve him and show him how utterly devoted she is to him? What more can she do to physically show her deep felt appreciation for his leadership, guidance and application of firm and loving discipline to place her back into a more loving frame of mind and heart? The energy between the man and his woman feels electric as the inter-play of energies intertwine themselves throughout their interaction.

Remaining in a submissive state is fairly easy when there is a direct inter-play of energies – i.e. when the couple are together. Remaining in a submissively compliant state becomes more difficult when the couple are not together and even more of a challenge when the woman must liaise at work with other women who act like men. This is where submission becomes quite hard to maintain. To be “truly” submissive and remain in that submissive state requires a great deal of work and effort. Only very confident and emotionally strong women can become truly submissive. Only emotionally strong women can stand strong against the wave of opposition and feel confident and proud for standing up for something they truly believe in. They shouldn’t antagonise their female colleagues for behaving like men, nor try to proliferate their lifestyle onto others. Women who behave like men have fallen prey to society’s pressure. They are not free, but are themselves victims, brainwashed into believing what society expects, rather than listening to their innate feminine instincts.

The woman who is deeply in tune with her own submission remains true to her conviction. She does not bend to pressure to behave in a masculine way; she does not partake in office gossip about the demise of men, nor drink copious amounts of alcohol after work. She does not use ugly unfeminine swear words, nor act aggressively. Rather she displays a quiet assertiveness which other women secretly admire. This assertiveness epitomises her strength as a “superior” woman, it epitomises her as being deeply in tune with her femininity symbolising her courage and strength. It renders her submissive, obedient, and soft with an internal radiance of femininity - a true goddess amongst women.

Remaining in a submissive state in the work place is much more of a challenge, but it is this challenge which is exciting. Loving Domestic Discipline is not static but fluid and dynamic. There is no end goal but a continuous journey. The office setting where the woman is immersed in a world of women behaving like men is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate her superiority and strength. I am not advocating in being aloof and unfriendly. On the contrary, the woman remains affable, helpful and approachable. She is very kind and bends over double to help others, but at the same time standing strong and not being swayed by the vast consensus.

One of the most powerful and submissive acts a woman can do is to have her pay cheque going into her HOH’s account. He is, after all her leader, so it makes perfect sense that he should control the finances. With her pay cheque going into his account (to which she has no access) she is surrendering herself totally into his care. Her HOH will give her a weekly budget for house keeping and it will be up to his sole discretion whether her behaviour has been good enough to render any “extras” she may desire. This is a deeply powerful act and not something that modern working women will find easy to do. It is, however, an immensely submissive act. An act which only women who are deeply submissive, emotionally strong and secure in their relationships can consent to. The efficacy of such an act speaks volumes to her HOH. She is in effect telling her man that she trusts in his guidance and leadership so much, that she is handing herself over to him completely.

Generally speaking women are not “consistently” good with money. Many women go on regular spending sprees and buy things they never use or wear. Generally, when men spend money they purchase expensive technical gadgets which they do use and get a constant pleasure from. Men’s spending sprees are generally very rare – once or twice yearly. Some women on the other hand, will spend money on a weekly basis – just for the sake of spending. Such behaviour is very destructive, even to the richest of families. The woman on her spending spree is striving to find instant gratification to fill a hole in her empty life. Rather than mooching around the mall aimlessly looking at what she can purchase, she should spend her time working on a happy home. She should be baking her family some nutritious food or kicking a ball in the park with her HOH and children.

Handing financial control to her HOH teaches her to become a better person. It teaches her to value money and trust in her HOH’s leadership implicitly. Such an act frees the woman from paying bills and other worries. Liberated she can begin to experience a depth to her submissive awareness, a covert sexual surrender as she submits to the energies of her man. She can begin to experience herself as a deeply feminine woman. A woman who is superior, liberated and free.

~C~

Back from Atlanta

2006-11-29T19:09:00.000Z

Dear LDD’ers,

I’m finally back from Atlanta. I had the most amazing time. Atlanta is quite astonishingly beautiful; it is like a city inside a big forest. Everywhere you go you are surrounded by trees! It is quite easy to forget that you are still in a large city since the trees buffer out most of the traffic noise. It is only when you look up to the tree tops and can see the Atlanta skyscrapers peeking through, that you are reminded that you are in a large city after all!

Hiking part of the Appalachian Trail was simply awesome! The air was so fresh with wide wilderness stretching out ahead. Although I was told that I missed the prime leaf colour, it still looked pretty amazing with vibrant colours of yellow and red. The leaves underfoot were all crisp unlike the UK where they are all mulch due to the damp weather! You certainly can't find stretches of wild like that in the UK, they even proclaim to have black bears!! I wish I had brought a tent, proper walking boots and a trangia, then I could happily camp for a week or two and explore the wilds of Georgia...although I'm not sure what I would do if I came face to face with a bear - play dead I guess! We had lunch in a Bavarian type village called Helen, where we had sauerkraut and red cabbage - very Eastern European!

Thanksgiving I spent in Acworth GA, where I was kindly hosted by a fellow Brit. Thanksgiving was actually very special since it was the first Thanksgiving I've ever celebrated!

Thank you to those of you who made it to the LDD gathering! I hope we manage to keep in touch!

All the best,

~C~

My Struggle with Obedience

2006-10-31T19:04:00.000Z

At the beginning, one of my most difficult challenges within the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle was obedience. I have always been fiercely independent and self opinionated. I had always found obedience hard and seldom obeyed anyone, even as a child.

At the start of our Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, I was subconsciously blocking my obedience to my HOH. I would try very hard to work on my obedience during discipline – but outside of discipline I would happily sail my merry way. My HOH was quick to pick up on this and would often praise me for obediently submitting to his discipline, but would wonder why I wouldn’t carry out his day to day instructions and other tasks. I honestly found the latter harder than submitting to the actual discipline. If my HOH instructed me to do something over the phone (R spends the weekdays in London) then I would say sweetly, “OK darling,” fully intending to do it before he came home. This, however, was seldom the case; I would allow his instructions to filter out of my mind, I would quite simply forget about my HOH’s instructions.

I have since learned that my behaviour displayed the very height of disobedience. This type of disobedience was very blatant – it clearly demonstrated to R that I was putting all my planned day to day events before his instructions. I was in effect non-verbally telling my husband that I thought little of his instructions, that my tasks were more important. In fact, I thought so little of his instructions that I would end up forgetting all about them! Looking back on my past behaviour I can clearly see how disobedient and disrespectful I was being – luckily I have come along way since then! I now see obedience as something quite instant and spontaneous. I no longer procrastinate over what R tells me to do, but usually do it automatically before I do something of mine. I don’t always see the reasoning behind R’s instructions sometimes R hasn’t the time to explain why he wants something done in a certain way. I have, however, learnt to carry out my HOH’s instructions without thinking, “why am I doing this?” Or without thinking that my tasks require more urgent attention.

Obedience has brought out all my deeply felt submissive urges. I always believed that submission has to be worked upon, but instead I have found that by working on my obedience my submission followed as a natural consequence. By becoming more obedient I found myself embraced in a new awareness of self, a truly “feminine” self. Never in my life had I felt more in tune with my own femininity as I do now. My femininity had until now been repressed into the further reaches of my unconscious mind. It had always been there, as God had created me female. But, I had repressed this beautiful gift from my creator - subconsciously arguing that it is not PC to be so feminine!

By becoming more obedient, I have discovered that I am so much softer and accepting than I used to be. I no longer fly off the handle at the slightest thing, but accept the situation with grace and dignity. I may not like the situation, but causing a fuss, loosing my temper or having a tantrum are not going to change the situation around – they will only heighten the tension and raise more bad vibes and negative feelings.

My obedience to my HOH has reinforced his role as leader. I have grown in confidence and have acquired new freedoms from following my HOH’s authority and guidance. I no longer fight for leadership in our home – he guides me, corrects my misbehaviour and makes the final decisions. This has allowed me to concentrate on other areas of my life which previously I had neglected. My confidence has certainly grown. Prior to LDD I would struggle for leadership. I would have little confidence (never truly knowing if I would get my own way!) Life was hard and a painful struggle as I would constantly undermine my husband’s authority by inadvertently saying that I didn’t trust his decisions at all.

~C~

The Punishment Room

2006-10-25T09:35:00.000+01:00

There are many different rooms in our house where I’ve been punished. Sometimes if I’m punished for a specific offence (like my eating disorder) I will be spanked in the kitchen. At other times, if we have guests, I will be spanked in the attic with either a sturdy thick wooden spoon (which is virtually silent) or the Loopy Johnny. Mostly, however, I am spanked in either the sitting room over the arm of the settee, or over my HOH’s knee. I’m also spanked in the bedroom over the bed, stool or OTK (or a combination of positions – depending on my misbehaviour.)

If I were to choose one room in our house which fills me with the most dread when used for punitive purposes – it would be my HOH’s study. The reason for my heightened fear and subsequent humility is that R’s study doesn’t belong to me. I am no longer surrounded by my own familiar objects, but my HOH’s objects – his very masculine objects. Most of his books, his work, papers, computer and other personal effects are in this room. Somehow, going into this room to prepare for a spanking, is to enter R’s masculine world. It is as if the small room consumes me with his masculine energies– there is nothing feminine or mine in this room, it is his room, his personal space, his study.

Entering into R’s masculine world heightens the feelings of my vulnerability and control he has over me. If I were punished in my bedroom I may be distracted by something of mine, but in R’s study his papers and other work, are of little interest for me to get distracted in. In my room, I would be comforted by my own familiar objects. In R’s study there are none of my objects present – nothing familiar or comforting to draw my attention to. The masculinity of R’s study is highlighted when I am commanded to prepare for my spanking. “Go to my study and prepare for your spanking,” is more masculine (belonging to R) than “Go to your room,” which is more feminine, or “Go to the sitting room,” being more neutral. Sometimes, if R has previously been working at the computer, I can still smell his manly musky odour, or aftershave, as I wait for him to enter the room. Being surrounded by his manly aroma as I stand in the corner nude awaiting punishment, will only act as a reminder and reinforcement of his manhood. This consequently taps into my womanhood and renders me much more humble, submissive and contrite – it truly focuses me without the various distractions, to prepare for my punishment with heart, body and soul. It truly focuses me to accept his punishment with the utmost submission and respect - to cry freely and be redeemed by my HOH, through his loving correction and forgiveness.

Another reason why the study is effective in facilitating my humility and submission is that at school misbehaviour was usually dealt with corporally. If we misbehaved we were punished in the Head Masters study across his desk, usually with the cane. This memory from my school days is very poignant; it was very embarrassing to have ended up in a situation where your regulation school knickers were pushed down to your knees and your bare bottom was in full display awaiting the Head’s attention. Just the sight of R’s desk conjures up memories of past disciplinary spankings at school – I was actually only ever spanked like this once, but the painful humiliation (which was a lot worse than the caning itself) was so embarrassing that it psychologically felt as if there had been many more times! This memory of having been spanked by the Head, having my bared bottom displayed to his gaze as a well developed curvy teenager, has plagued me, even into adulthood!

Just as R’s study evokes feelings of fear, so do more “masculine” looking implements. The implement which fills me with the most fear is my HOH’s belt – especially if he has been wearing it and especially if I can both see and hear it being unbuckled and sliding out of his belt loops. The strap, Loopy Johnny, cane, paddle and tawse, I equally fear. These are mostly dark and masculine looking in their appearance – I know they mean business! When compared with the more feminine implements, such as a feminine hairbrush, pink flip-flop or more elegant female belt. If a slipper or gym shoe is used then the sight of R’s large gym shoe will evoke the same dread more easily than the sight of my own much smaller gym shoe, especially if he takes it off his foot in my presence before aiming it across my buttocks.

A variation of R’s study is his garage/workshop. Again this is his own personal space, full of his own very masculine looking objects. Awaiting punishment in R’s masculine domain I feel the presence of his masculine energies consume me. I feel his masculine presence surrounding me before my punishment spanking. Such feelings evoke and awaken the very core of my humility, submission and femininity. Such feelings awaken the very core of my womanhood.

~C~

The artwork is Patty's which can be viewed from: www.pattysgallery.com/wordpress/Creative/

LDD - Atlanta Get Together Update

2006-10-21T21:39:00.000+01:00

This is just a quick announcement for all the people who are coming to our LDD get together. I am just waiting on an email from Melissa with the final details such as the room number and the finalised itinerary. As soon as I have this information I will immediately send all the people who have enquired an email, confirming all the final arrangements…

Just think in exactly three weeks from today we will all be together!! I am certainly very excited!!

For anyone reading this post who hasn’t heard of our arrangements and who would like to come along, here is a brief summary:

WHAT: We are having a Loving Domestic Discipline get together to discuss, share and exchange ideas about our wonderful lifestyle. This will mainly comprise of presentations, seminar type discussions and socialising.

WHY: So that we can forge contacts with other like minded people. So that we can reach out to each other in support and understanding. So that we can learn and grow in awareness and understanding of each others ideas, philosophies and practices. All of this can and should be achieved from an anonymous stance. In fact, I strongly encourage all the people coming to our event to remain anonymous at all times, by using a different name.

WHERE: The get together is held in Atlanta Georgia. Please email me at rncblog@yahoo.co.uk or Melissa at mtravis@gmail.com for the location. Please do not email SnN (the other lady hosting this event) as she is presently away on vacation.

WHEN: The get together is held on Saturday 11/11/06 at 6.00pm.

WHO: The get together is open to all adults - singles and couples alike.

Everyone is most welcome!:-)

Hope to see you all in November!

~C~

Warnings...

2006-10-17T22:48:00.000+01:00

My good behaviour seems mainly to be attributed to the many warnings my HOH has in place. I know that if I seriously overstep the mark in a given situation, what the likelihood of any consequences will be...

I am hardly ever spanked outside, but I’m often warned of such a punishment. The threat of it hangs over me, playing on my mind. The humiliation extenuating from such a punishment is indescribable! Whenever my HOH takes me by the arm and leads me into an alleyway, I feel an immediate dread, fear and nausea, mixed with a very deep sense of sexual arousal. These two opposing feelings of absolute submission/surrender mixed with sheer panic and fear, brings forth this very acutely awakened sexuality from deep within me. Also my HOH keeps me in anticipation... I never really know if R is taking me into the alleyway to scold me (this happens more frequently) or spank me.

The sensations of an outside spanking add to the fear. Firstly, there is the sensation of the cold breeze against my bare bottom. Secondly, there is the sound of the actual spanking which seems so much louder and resonant when administered outside. This louder spanking extenuates my fear when I can hear people in the distance. Thirdly, there is the dreaded fear of discovery...this really frightens me! Outside spankings make me feel like a naughty 5 year old, they psychologically take me back to a stage in my early childhood which I have suppressed. Repressing traumatic emotions from the early childhood is not healthy since they come out in various negative behaviours. The humiliation resulting from outside spankings manage to permeate into the root cause of many of these problems and alleviate them. I also believe that outside spankings are the absolute crème de la crème of submission. As I am led by my HOH into an alleyway; I know from my misconduct and the look in his eyes what’s about to happen. I know that there is no turning back. I know that I cannot get out of it, that my spanking is definite and imminent. I know beyond a shadow of doubt what is going to take place! Sometimes I feel fear so much, I feel paralysis over take my body...but somehow my legs continue to walk one step after the other, as I’m being led to the place of my spanking.

Although this practise may offend some of my readers, since it is not standard Loving Domestic Discipline in its true form. It really works best for me. My humility is seldom unleashed by R's scolding alone. My HOH finds the scolding element of LDD hard to impliment, since such a notion goes directly against his religious faith and practise. Spanking he finds no problem with, but teasing out my humiliation through "telling me off" via scolding he finds very hard.

I haven’t been spanked outside that often, but I have been warned of such a consequence more frequently. If I misbehave my HOH only has to say in a low voice, “If you carry on like this I will take you to a quiet corner pull down your panties and spank your bare bottom! Do I make myself clear?” Such a warning usually makes me stop in my tracks. I immediately feel a great sense of submission and sexual arousal and deep fear and embarrassment. Such a warning is all that is usually needed to pull my behaviour around.

There are also times when my HOH doesn’t warn me but smacks my hand in public. This time he doesn’t take me down a alleyway, but quickly checks to see if there is no one in the very near vicinity. R then firmly takes hold of my hand and smacks it, usually saying, “naughty girl” whilst he is doing this.

Getting my hand smacked in a public setting is also hugely humiliating. Such an act is not really a punishment but an acute warning of what will happen if my behaviour continues in the same fashion... Getting my hand smacked in a public setting evokes the same deep feelings of sexuality and submission. Although being smacked on the hand (which is a non-erogenous zone) wouldn't normally evoke such a deepened sexual arousal, out of doors all my senses are more heightened. I am so much more aware of my sheer humility as it is ebbed out. I am so much more alert to what I would have to face if I do not take heed in my HOH's warnings...

~C~

Journaling

2006-10-13T12:54:00.000+01:00

Since coming back home from vacation I have been very slack in keeping my journal up to date. In fact this is possibly my most common transgression. My HOH is very pedantic when it comes to keeping my journal. He rightly claims that without journaling my behaviour in not up to form. Every morning I have to journal lists of chores and in the evening write whether I’ve achieved these targets. If I don’t manage to achieve them, then I have to write down why these targets were not met.

Without the daily journaling of my chores list I tend to leave everything to the last minute. With R working away and only being home weekends, it is so easy to ignore the house work until the day before his arrival. My HOH has stipulated on more than one occasion, that such behaviour is clearly unacceptable. I also have to record my misbehaviours and feelings associated with each and every wrong doing. This is then followed by recording my punishment and also recording an action plan to avoid repeating the same misbehaviour in the future.

For not keeping my journal up to date, I now have to report before 10.00am every day by email to my HOH, to say that I have completed my daily entry. I am also going to receive a punishment spanking on Saturday for being so slack. :-(

My HOH has written up these rules which he emailed last night. I was told to print and glue them into the front two pages of my journal.

My rules are as follows:

C's LDD Rules

Unless otherwise stated, the normal punishment for failure to keep any of these rules is a spanked bottom, the severity to be decided by your HOH. This will usually mean a spanking to tears, with humiliation. However, your HOH may decide that a different punishment is appropriate at any time.

Always follow the principles set out in LDD, and where appropriate, Advanced LDD. The most important of these is to do as your HOH instructs you and understand that it is for your own good and an act of love from your HOH.
Journal by 10:00 every weekday.
Plan your day, including any instructions from your HOH.
Record whether you achieved the items in the plan before writing the next plan.
Carry out the instructions given to you by your HOH to the best of your ability. Prioritise them over things that you might have chosen to do.
Keep your journal with you at all times – your HOH may instruct you to read from it or enter into it.
Journal or confess to your HOH every wrongdoing.
Keep your journal neat. Your HOH wants neat handwriting in pen, not scribbled notations in felt tip or pencil.
For Anorexic/bulemic behaviour – likely punishment Transformational Discipline.
Journal every punishment – even spontaneous ones. Record the event, the punishment, how you felt.

I hope to keep my new journal up and not become tardy as I usually do. In my last journal I recorded onto a wiki, but this proved difficult since there were times I couldn't log on. Recording into a paper journal should be a lot easier.

I do so want my HOH to be proud of me!

~C~

N.B. The above journal can be purchased from: www.cafepress.com/lovingdd

My Worst Punishment Ever!! :-(

2006-10-07T12:49:00.000+01:00

My worst punishment happened whilst on vacation in West Africa. I have endured painful spankings before and have even had a transformational discipline. However, with severe punishments such as this, once the pain subsides and the memory of the spanking is in the dim and distant past – life very much returns to normal. Of course progress has been made and I have learnt my lesson, but a very painful spanking is a lot easier to forget than being deeply humiliated and shamed - especially in front of other people!

We were in transit, going to a small village with an unpronounceable name when we stopped off in one of the larger towns. This town was well known for its market selling mostly batiks and gold. R and I strolled along looking at various stalls, our guide and two other people were also with us. A really lovely piece of jewellery suddenly caught my eye so I called over to R and headed for the stall. I can’t honestly say how long I spent admiring almost every piece of jewellery, but I did spend some considerable time. When I had carefully selected my pieces I looked around for R to ask his permission to buy some jewellery – but he was nowhere to be seen! R, our guide and the two colleagues R works with had completely disappeared into thin air!

At first I was very calm as I started walking in the direction we were all heading, looking left and right to see if R had stopped by any of the stalls. I must have walked 100 yards or so when panic gripped me. I was suddenly hit by the realisation that R was probably listening to his mp3 and not heard me tell him where I was going! I frantically turned and headed back to the stall selling jewellery, but R et al were not there. I continued walking up through the very busy market looking well beyond my previous searching point, but there was absolutely no sign of them! I turned to walk back blinking back the tears which smarted my eyes. I tried to rationalise and stay calm but I had no money and even if I did I wouldn't have been able to explain to a taxi driver where to take me! I desperately tried to remember the name of the village we were heading to, but couldn’t! A deep feeling of dread engulfed me. The market was literally crowded with people, I remember feeling quite paralysed with fear and had no idea which way to walk!

After what seemed an eternity, I returned once more to the jewellery stall and there was R looking as worried as I was. My instant relief was quickly replaced by anger. “Why in the f*** did you go off and leave me like that? How dare you leave me!!” I shouted at R. Due to all my panic and fear I wasn’t aware of so dreadfully disrespecting my HOH, especially in front of his work colleagues and guide. Nor was I aware of using the “f” word which seemed to slip out all too naturally! R looked stunned at my out burst, his face drained as his eyes locked into mine. After my immediate anger I felt a huge sense of relief and just wanted to hug R, but this feeling of relief was short lived – R’s face made it more than apparent of his complete and utter condemnation of my swear word and almighty disrespect I had displayed. The really amazing thing is that I don’t believe I’ve ever used the “f” word and I cringe when I hear others use it – I was so stressed and frightened my use of it came as much of a shock to me as it did to R!

“How DARE you so blatently disrespect me!” R scolded, “I told you that I would be back and you were to stay at this stall!” In the excitement of seeing the jewellery I think I must have blanked this information out and not heard R. My HOH continued scolding me, I could no longer hear his words I felt so utterly humiliated and embarrassed. R's eyes penetrated deeply into mine and in front of the guide and work colleagues he firmly and audibly said, “I will DEAL with you later,” putting much emphasis on the word “deal.” He then came up to me grabbed my arm and whispered loudly (so that everyone could hear) “If you are going to act like a naughty child, then I am going to treat you like one! You are to hold my hand for the rest of our time here!”

I was already on the verge of crying thinking I had lost R, after being scolded in front of our guide and colleagues the shame I felt made the tears really flow – luckily my sun glasses hid most of my tears. I had to hold R’s hand all the time – not in the loving way a man and woman hold hands, but in the way a naughty child is firmly held onto by their elder. R has longer legs than me and he wasn’t keeping at my pace. I had to quite literally run to keep up with him as he dragged me from one end of the market to the other. My relief of finding my HOH had superseded the deep dread of his scolding words in front of his colleagues. His words: “I will deal with you later!” were spinning in my head. I tried to imagine what “I will deal with you later” must have meant to our group? I calmly told myself that they probably think that R will simply “deal” with me later by “talking” to me later!

When we arrived at the village we were greeted by our hosts who had prepared a banquet for us. After all the formalities and greetings R excused himself saying that he had some unfinished business to attend to. He then proceeded to take me across the court yard to where our sleeping quarters were. I was told to strip naked and stand in the corner. After 10 or so minutes R called me over to him and proceeded to tell me that my punishment is severe not simply for using the “f” word which only succeeds in putting myself down, but it was mainly for embarrassing him in front of his colleagues and guide! He told me that in future if I was to ever disrespect him again he would have no hesitation to shame me in front of other people. He told me that the only reason he didn’t spank me in front of our group was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself – it had nothing at all to do with my feelings! R then placed me firmly across his knee and without much of a warm up proceeded to spank me very hard with the loopy johnny.

It didn’t take long for catharsis to break through. My catharsis came as a relief since I usually find it hard to reach this state. Being spanked in someone else’s home was very embarrassing but all my inhibitions had gone – I had been completely stripped of all my pride. The one small relief I had was that our hut was on the other side of the main house and detached from everything else - so at least I was granted some modicum of privacy. After my spanking, R put me to bed without dinner - I was not allowed to sample the delicious banquet. I also missed out on meeting the village chief which I was most looking forward to! The really embarrassing thing was that no one mentioned me at dinner; my absence was simply not questioned at all! I strongly believe that our guide told everyone what had happened. I also strongly believe that the whole village including the village chief got to hear of my spanking!!!

The next day R told me that he would be travelling around with the Loopy John safely tucked into his pocket. It is actually small enough to be concealed into his pocket without anyone knowing it’s there. I certainly knew however! Whenever I cuddled up to R I could feel its hard handle poking into me! R told me that if I was a naughty girl again he wouldn’t hesitate to take me behind some bush and spank me!

The next day was also very telling…our guide avoided any eye contact with me, so did R’s colleagues. Our guide who didn’t particularly spend much time talking to R suddenly became very friendly with him. R had suddenly gained new status and respect. Any respect I had seemed to dwindle into obscurity!

My lesson was hard, painfully humiliating, but one I am never likely to forget!

~C~

I'm Back!!

2006-10-05T08:51:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

We have just come back from the most delightful, amazing and exhilarating vacation in West Africa! The people were so warm and welcoming! The land is filled with such exotic diversity with beaches, rainforest and savannah all within a days drive! There is an abundant richness of culture, heritage, music, dance, art and literature. It is so vibrant and alive! The UK seems so dead in comparison! The music is especially memorable - the rhythm and beat are soul gripping. Even the small less known bands exude so much emotion and dynamics. Well…they do say that music is the universal language – it certainly spoke to my heart and soul! We have both fallen so much in love with the West African country we visited, that we are looking into buying land and eventually setting up a business and moving there permanently.

It is tremendously exciting that the day for our LDD get together is looming! In one months time we will all get to meet each other – just imagine that! If anyone needs help in finding accommodation then please don’t hesitate to ask. I will get in touch with SnN and Melissa tonight who have been busy planning the itinerary and will email the finer details of the event in the next week or two. I have just bought my plane ticket, which makes it all so much more imminent – I am really very excited!! :-)

I was really most unfortunate to receive a punishment spanking whilst on vacation. :-( I did actually misbehave very badly on one occasion, so it was richly deserved! The whole experience was definitely the worst punishment I've ever received in terms of shame and embarrassment, rather than actual pain. :-( I will write up the details in the next couple of days, once I have sorted all the unpacking.

I’ve missed you all!

~C~ x

Loving Domestic Discipline Party Announcement...

2006-09-05T09:18:00.000+01:00

Announcing:

A Loving Domestic Discipline

Social Gathering

Who: Anyone interested in LDD

What: An Anonymous Social Event

When: Saturday Evening, November 11, 2006

Where: Atlanta, Georgia, USA

Why: Because it would be nice to meet others who share the same interest and talk about about it in real life.

SmartNnaughty from myspankodiary2 and I have dreamed up this idea to actually meet others that think like we do. It will be held in a public place, please email for details.

Everyone will remain anonymous and we encourage you to use something other than your real name. This event is a respectable affair with appropriate dress code for people that want to discuss LDD and how it works in their lives.

If this sounds like something you would like to attend, please email either SNN or me for more information.

Come and meet us in November!

smartnnaughty2@yahoo.com or rncblog@yahoo.co.uk

A Poem – “Implements”

2006-08-30T07:55:00.000+01:00

The implements are ready,
laid out upon our bed.
LJ will carve out little rings,
raised and sore and red!

The strap looking kinda gruesome,
rubbed down with a little oil.
Will soon unfurl its vengeance,
as its leather will uncoil.

The paddle (my most loathed implement)
its correction penetrating deep.
The impact lasting until morning,
its soreness makes me weep!

With the hairbrush there’s a choice,
bristles or smoothness at either end?
If I really wriggle then....
“bristles” the loud clear message sends!

The cane is used as a last resort,
its lashings really welt!
Sometimes I do deserve it, :-(
but prefer...the paddle, strap or belt!

The belt with its duel purpose,
a buckle at one end.
The buckle part a “warning” used,
my attitude to mend!!!

The switch, I am instructed,
to select and cut my own.
My humble heart fills me with shame,
obeying your commanding tone!

The Scottish tawse, severe enough,
to be felt through the thickest kilt,
More than a “wee dram” needed,
to alleviate the pain it’s built!

Out of all these implements,
the one I much prefer....
Is the firm application of your hand,
intimate feelings it can stir!!!

~C~

N.B. "wee dram" is Scottish for a little tipple or drink (usually referring to whiskey!)

A Poem - "Bedtime"

2006-08-26T19:40:00.000+01:00

At 6 o’clock I’m sent to bed,
and told to wait.
In fear, my spanking I anticipate…

My stomach is all knotted,
nauseous with fears,
Knowing that my spanking,
will end in floods of tears!

I do hope that you come quickly,
I do not like the wait.
I want this over and done with,
I want an attitude of love not hate.

Please come and spank me quickly,
don’t let it linger so.
I can’t bear the gruelling silence,
I’ve learnt my lesson you know!

I hear your footsteps coming,
in dread I must submit.
To a thoroughly spanked bottom,
my wrongs I must admit.

With a sore and blistered bottom,
you put me back to bed.
I cry into my pillow,
rubbing my bottom hot and red!

~C~

A Poem – “Misbehaviour in Town”

2006-08-24T16:22:00.000+01:00

In the mall we venture,
my mood and attitude are bad!
I harbour past resentments,
and past arguments we’ve had!

I do try to be submissive,
I always try my best to be.
But there are times I misbehave
and you aren’t pleased with me.

I disrespect and argue,
in the middle of the town.
I’m marched to a darkened corner,
where you pull my panties down…

My spanking echoes loudly,
I hope no one is around!
I pray no one will bear witness,
as my bottom’s spanked in town!

~C~

An Essay: LDD – “Top Down” or “Bottom Up” Approach?

2006-08-14T21:01:00.000+01:00

Many people despair at having a partner who does not want to engage in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. But, many people seem to understand LDD from a very singular and linear perspective. This essay attempts to show more of a multifaceted approach to Loving Domestic Discipline. It attempts to identify the basic components of LDD, which will hopefully make it more accessible to all – even to those who are adamantly opposed to it.

Although the “top” and “bottom” are sometimes referred to in D/s as the dominant (top) and submissive (bottom), this jargon is only applied in the spanking genre. The definition used in this essay is a term applied in many fields. In psychology, for example, the “top down” would involve looking at the problem from the top and trying to solve it directly (as used by Behavioural Psychologists – Skinner and Pavlov, et al.) Whereas, the “bottom up,” would involve starting from the bottom, trying to analyse the causes of the problem (as used by Psychoanalysts – Freud and Jung, et al.) Another example is used in education. When considering the theory of children learning to read, the “top down” would involve the child looking at a word and memorising the structure of a long and complicated word, thus, gaining instant word recognition. The “bottom up,” would involve breaking the word down into syllables and sounding the word out phonetically.

When considering this terminology applied to Loving Domestic Discipline, it becomes immediately apparent that many more people seem to opt for the “top down” (direct action - spanking) rather than the “bottom up” (the subtle inter-connection of masculine and feminine energies.) In fact, many people gloomily suppose, that if their partner refuses to spank, or be spanked, then they are not (and never will) be able to live the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Such a supposition is simply not true! Loving Domestic Discipline is not a linear non-dimensional implementation of a lifestyle; rather it is an intricate inter-play of both masculine and feminine energies. It is coming together and truly celebrating each others genders. It is the celebration of a man and his woman.

Of course, the main emphasis of Loving Domestic Discipline is a disciplinary/punishment spanking, administered by the male HOH to his woman when she misbehaves, or as a preventative measure – there is no denying that! However, if we start by examining the very foundation of what comprises the LDD lifestyle (the energies) and tune into these energies; we will find ourselves engaging in the basic and most fundamental building blocks of LDD. So many people complain that their partner doesn’t want any part of Loving Domestic Discipline, yet anyone can engage in it, it is easy, simple and highly effective! By teasing out the masculine/feminine vibes and watching the lifestyle progress, it won’t be long before more diverse stages of the lifestyle are experienced. Everyone can tune into these energies, if people are finding that their partner is somewhat reluctant, then it should be these very rudiments that they should consider as their starting point.

The mechanisms of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle are a synergistic inter-play of the masculine and feminine energies. Such a synergistic inter-play really does work as if by magic! The person wanting the LDD relationship simply has to tease out their partner’s gender and respond to it accordingly. All a man has to do to bring his reluctant partner to fruition, is to start behaving authoritatively. Or in the case of a woman, all she has to do is to start behaving submissively – to give the lead and decisions to her man. From that point on, as if by magic, the very corner stone of Loving Domestic Discipline has been set and the lifestyle has started. It really is as simple as that!

The grass roots to Loving Domestic Discipline is that it’s a psychological process, sometimes accessing deep rooted emotions from a past childhood experience. Punishment spankings are often deeply emotive. The unlocking of these emotions can have a deeply profound experience on the woman, which can be immensely healing. However, bringing the woman into this charged psychological and emotional state can not be done quickly. The “top down” approach is simply not an effective medium when considered on its own. Without teasing out her emotions using the other LDD methods she will not cry, feel sorrow, repentance, submission, or that lovely peaceful feeling of being fully cleansed, redeemed and forgiven by her HOH straight after a punishment spanking! It is because of the synergistic process that points to the effectiveness of the “bottom up” approach. If a person were to simply consider the “top down,” by solely concentrating on the spanking alone, then they would not be engaging in LDD. The actual spanking is only one stage on the spectrum – without incorporating the other major stages such as scolding, corner time, shaming, etc… the disciplinary process would lose its validity and would be deemed meaningless.

Yet…it does strike me as rather odd that many people who have unwilling partners seem totally hung up about the “top down” approach – the spanking. Many people seem so unhappy that they are not living this wonderful lifestyle and yet the lifestyle is so multifaceted with the spanking being just one of these facets. Spanking is simply the result of what happens after a lengthy session of utilising most of the other necessary ingredients. The rich variety on the LDD spectrum allows even the most reluctant participant to find something suitable. Engaging in the exchange of energies, the merging and inter-connectiveness of a man and his woman is both alluring and sexy. This too is LDD!

A positive mental attitude is what’s needed if your partner is unwilling. There is no need to be glum, or overly complicate something as simple as LDD. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will a fully fledged Loving Domestic Discipline relationship! The important thing to remember is to view LDD wholistically. It is not only comprised of the “top down," but also the “bottom up” approach. Once you have engaged in the “bottom up” elements of the lifestyle you will be living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship (albeit somewhat diluted). You should take your time and enjoy each and every stage and not rush it, rushing it may only startle your partner and set them back more. Let nature take its course and see where it leads... A spanking administered in a home environment, implemented by the loving HOH is extremely natural. I can guarantee that it shouldn’t take long to have this much awaited disciplinary stage interpolated into your lifestyle!

But what does it mean to tune into the opposite energies? How can you start living the LDD lifestyle by starting from the “bottom up?”

“Bottom up” steps a man can take to bring his reluctant woman into an LDD relationship:

• A man should show the opposite energies to his partner – his masculinity. His woman should feel herself consumed by his masculine strength. Use Lovemaking as a tool to show her your power and authority. Please your woman sexually, watch how she responds and be intuitive to her needs - let her dictate the mood. Either ravish her, penetrating and thrusting into her like you've never done before, or take it nice and slow. If she is totally against spanking then you could try reaching behind her and spanking her very gently and erotically with your hand using a non-spanking position, then softly carressing her buttocks. Bathe her, massage her with sensual oils - use candles and incense to relax her mind and body. Take her out to dinner, go Latino dancing - hold her tightly on the dance floor and lead. Let her know you are the leader, you are the boss!

• A man should show his authority at all times. He needs to be firm but fair, his woman needs to be listened to, but the final decision is his to make. A man should exercise saying "no" to his woman. Believe it or not women prefer being told no rather than yes! Being told no will eventually heighten the woman’s submission. The woman may at first be moody, temperamental or have a tantrum, but the HOH must persevere. Eventually she will not only start to deeply respect her man, but she will find a new sense of security in the loving limits and boundaries he has set up. These boundaries of not being allowed to do something fill the woman with a great sense of peace and love. They clearly demonstrate that her man loves her enough to hold her accountable for her actions!

• A man should be consistent at all times, wavering on an issue shows lack of strength and leadership. His woman will not respect him for hesitating, or letting her get her own way! Such indecision will only result in her fighting for control which is one of the most serious crimes committed, going directly against the LDD lifestyle.

• Punishments – if she is misbehaving then quite simply withdraw from her – put her in coventry for a while. Tell her that you are forced to do it because her behaviour is unacceptable. Tell her that as long as she continues to behave like a child, then she will be treated like a naughty child and be ignored. Tell her that such behaviour is simply not tolerated! Traditional non-spanking punishments such as essay/line writing, restrictions, being grounded, corner time or early bedtime should not be enforced on a reluctant partner. With patience and perseverance, these will all come into play in there own time. The LDD relationship is consensual – and this must be remembered and adhered to. But nevertheless there are still many steps a man can take (such as withdrawing) to discipline his wife.

• Teach your woman things she doesn’t know. Show your intellect and reasoning…no woman can resist this! By learning from you she is subconsciously submitting to you, admiring and respecting you. She is looking up to your wisdom and acknowledging you as leader.

“Bottom up” steps a woman can take to encourage her reluctant man into an LDD relationship:

• A woman needs to relinquish control and adhere to a male led relationship. Even if her partner may at first be reluctant to take the lead. By handing over the reins, obeying him and by outlining his authority, her man will eventually take his natural place in the home.

• By highlighting her man’s authority, she is highlighting his worth. She is inadvertently telling him that she would clearly benefit from his guidance - that her man is better in this area than she is and that she values and trusts each and every decision he makes.

• To begin with, her man may not be consistent and may make her feel quite insecure at times. Nevertheless, she should persevere. She should never outline his weakness! Instead should continuously thank him for his decisions, guidance and leadership, etc… she should constantly point out his strengths and his weaknesses will eventually diminish…

• She should start by showing her submission in the bedroom. She should work hard to please her man, but at the same time allow him to do the leading. If he wants her on top then she must obey. This can also be a submissive position - if she is instructed to do so by her man. She should surrender herself to his larger, stronger, masculine power. She should give way to him completely. She should be submissive, obedient and compliant enough to try anything her man wants. Through surrender nothing should dissuade her. By surrendering herself in total love and trust and seeing her man's satisfaction, even the most painful sexual sensations will become pleasurable experiences!

• If she loses patience with her man she should quickly pave the way with an apology for disrespect. By simply saying, “I’m sorry I disrespected you,” she is reinforcing her disrespect and weakness, which heightens her man’s authority and leadership as HOH. It also reinforces that her man should demand respect from his woman at all times!

• She should learn about his hobbies and should be willing to have a go at what he likes doing. She should learn from his wide range of academic and practical pursuits. After all, men tend to really enjoy explaining their interests to their women. Men generally like fixing things and it is quite fascinating to watch the man engaging and educating their woman in such skills!

• She should never take authority away from her man by questioning or disagreeing with his decisions. It isn’t easy being a HOH particularly one who is still learning! If he does discipline his woman for something she didn’t do, then she should accept it graciously. Fighting against it will undermine her HOH’s authority, which may set him back temporarily or even permanently!

• If she has misbehaved, then she should confess this transgression to her man. After a few months of confessions she should move to the next stage and tell her man that she would clearly benefit if she had some loving limit imposed. If her man scoffs at the idea, she should just accept it and try again a few months later. Never force the issue…the key to a happy and successful Loving Domestic Discipline relationship is to be submissive, obedient and respectful at all times!

These are just some “bottom up” guide lines to encourage a reluctant partner into an Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. The key to making this process work is consistency, and determination. The important thing is not to give in! It may be hard with a lot of temporary agro, but it will be worth it in the long run! All of the above is such a fundamental part of Loving Domestic Discipline too! People often forget this and simply focus on the spanking. This is a shame because the subtleties within the masculine and feminine energies are the driving force behind a LDD relationship. If he/she accepts the very foundation of LDD, then hopefully it won't be long before spanking is also incorporated as a disciplinary measure. But there is no need to rush it...everything comes in its own good time. The very positive thing to remember about Loving Domestic Discipline is that it is a synergistic process. No matter who starts the ball rolling, whether it is the male HOH or his woman, it will inevitably provoke the right response from the other individual.

Loving Domestic discipline is not a race and takes many different forms - no two couples practice it in exactly the same way. Possibly the most important aspect to remember is that it truly is a celebration of energies. That it truly is a celebration of love between the masculine and feminine, love between the man and his woman!

~C~

Away Again! :-(

2006-07-31T20:26:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I will be out of town for a week or so. I’m really sorry about this, I feel as if I’ve only just got back… :-(

It’s the summer break and it’s mayhem here…there is so much to do, people to visit, etc… I hope you can forgive me?

I’ll be back as soon as I can.

~C~

~Benefits from my Transformational Spanking~

2006-07-30T09:56:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

It is now just over a month since my Transformational Discipline and yes, I have been transformed in so many different ways. I was given an almighty spanking over a month ago, in order to put me back in touch with my submission to my man.

I have actually been transformed on many different levels. My eating disorder which is my biggest misbehaviour, has significantly improved. I'm no longer so anxious about what I eat, I no longer consider every morsel eaten as such a big deal. There have also been significant improvements concerning other smaller issues such as organisation and time management. But by far my biggest improvement, is my submission to R. I have discovered a new increased awareness, which is keeping me in a submissive state for longer… I have discovered that even when my man isn’t physically with me, I am immersed in a state of total belonging and surrender. I have discovered that I’m more in tune with his wishes - that I have become more respectful and obedient to my HOH’s authority.

For two weeks straight after my Transformational Discipline, I was in Eastern Europe. The time apart was well spent, since it gave me a chance to really examine my misbehaviours and see a clear path to setting them straight. R texted me before I travelled back home and instructed me to both show and prove my submission to him. I was a little concerned about this, although I felt very much in tune with my femininity and submission, I didn’t really know what R wanted in terms of proof?

Straight from the airport we went to a restaurant. I was tired and made a trivial, but nevertheless thoughtless comment. R told me off for my thoughtless misbehaviour and I started crying - I've never really cried in a public place before and was quite embarrassed. R’s scolding was really very mild, but my submissive awareness being more heightened, penetrated deeply and hurt. I was acutely aware that my disrespectful remark had displeased my HOH. This awareness of displeasing, had the effect of making me feel a deep dread, which made me physically hurt all over. R, however, looked pleased, “Don’t cry darling, I told you to prove your submission to me and you're doing it right now. Good girl!”

My Transformational Discipline, has not only had a profound affect on me, but R has been affected too. My HOH is certainly a lot stricter since his administration of such a discipline. This is a classic example of how submission and authority flow in a synergistic relationship with each other – the more submissive I am, the more authoritative my HOH and vice versa. R is now requiring me to write in my journal twice daily (previously I only had to write once.) Every morning I must make lists of duties and in the evening tick them off and give explanations why a certain chore was not met. This is in addition to recording any misbehaviours which may occur, feelings associated with the misbehaviour and any punishment R said he will administer. As well as any "good girl" extras I've carried out to make my HOH extra pleased with me.

Another example of R’s strictness, manifested itself last weekend. We were both out walking when I dropped my new cell phone. Before I could stop myself, the word sh*t came out as I examined the scratched corners on my brand new phone. R loathes profanities of any description, claiming that it shows a complete lack of respect to the self and to whoever else is in earshot, luckily I seldom use words such as this and never anything stronger. However, on this occasion the word just sort of slipped out… R grabbed my arm and marched me to a secluded spot where he spanked me hard for my total lack of composure. Thankfully, he did not administer this spanking on my bare bottom like he usually does. My spanking was to serve more as a "warning" rather than punishment, to remain sweetly feminine and submissive at all times, despite life’s unexpected mishaps!

I hope I haven’t alarmed any of my dear readers. Spanking out of doors may not be the standard Loving Domestic Discipline practise, but it definitely isn't just something kinky and it certainly works for us. My HOH seldom uses such disciplinary methods. I believe I’ve only been disciplined like this about eight or nine times in the whole course of our marriage. My husband will only ever implement such discipline, when I have taken leave of my senses and lost control. I have a wild Eastern European temper, which seldom gets out, but when it does (whether we are out of doors or not) there is absolutely no stopping me! The last serious bare bottomed spanking my man administered outside, was over our daughter’s problems, when she engaged in self harm and got expelled from school. On the way to Z's school I had completely lost all control, blaming my man for her unbalanced psychological state! Blaming his affair and telling him that I was leaving him! If my HOH hadn’t taken action quickly, then I would have been too wrapped up in my own anger and the argument would have continued for hours.... I certainly would not have been able to offer the immediate strength, nurture and support that Z needed!

The fact that I was spanked outside for a relatively minor offence, clearly demonstrates that my HOH has upped the ante when it comes to how he expects me to behave. My Transformational spanking has had very clear benefits in eradicating many of my previous misbehaviours. Since my Transformational spanking, I have definitely been transformed into a more submissive, obedient, peaceful, respectful, loving and attentive wife!!

~C~

Almost three months until our LDD social gathering!

2006-07-26T21:41:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

Well, doesn’t time fly? In almost three months we will finally get to meet each other at our social gathering! SnN and I will do our very best to sort out our venue by late August. If this proves too difficult, then it will be early to mid October at the latest. I will be away for the whole of September in Africa, so it will be difficult to get anything organised in September and SnN is away on a cruise in mid October. It is therefore imperative that we don't miss our window of opportunity!

We have filed everyone’s details and will be in touch. :-)

I’m really very excited!! Just think this will be our first ever Loving Domestic Discipline get together – a very momentous occasion indeed!

We still need suggestions on what topics you all want to discuss? One topic which I think may be a good idea, is the whole area of submission, respect, leadership and authority. Those women who are going to the Surrendered Wife workshop in the afternoon will have already gained much wisdom in this area. It will, therefore, be nice to share our experience of the workshop, with those who were unable to make it.

If anyone wants to give a presentation on any LDD related topic, then please be our guest! This is your social event and it would be great to make it as interactive as possible.

Thank you to all who have contacted SnN or myself regarding the social evening. We have had a good response, but still have room for more – so please remember to keep your emails coming in! There are also plenty places left for any women interested in the Surrendered Wife workshop…

I’m really excited about meeting so many of you who are living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle!

~C~

My Most Destructive Misbehaviour – Part Three

2006-07-24T12:16:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I would like to apologise for not writing a post yesterday, when I promised that I would write twice weekly. I was finding blogger a bit tempermental last night - so I gave up and went to bed. I will of course write two more posts this week :-)

Part Three of my most destructive misbehaviour describes the many benefits I'm receiving from the judicious application of Loving Domestic Discipline:

It was thanks to the Loving Domestic Discipline website that gave me the courage to finally tell my husband that I had bulimia. When we started living the LDD lifestyle, it certainly opened the lines of communication between us. I became obliged to tell my HOH about my eating disorder.

At first R did not take the news well. He couldn’t believe that I had kept this a secret from him all through our school days and married life. He simply found it hard to accept that I was engaging in something so abhorrent. In the few days after telling my HOH, I felt very isolated, R ignored me and I regretted telling him. However, R quickly came round to accepting my admission and became 100% focused and committed in trying to help me.

We started a programme where I would receive regular weekly Maintenance Discipline to change my attitude towards this misbehaviour, and punishment spankings whenever I engaged in any bulimic activity. R deeply regretted not to be able to give me daily Maintenance, which is what I essentially needed in the early stages. But working down South only made it possible to be together at the weekends.

Since we only had the weekends at our disposal, R made sure that each and every Maintenance would be a tearful one. Although I really feared very severe spankings, we both knew that only the severity of a painful spanking would be strong enough to break my deeply entrenched pattern of misbehaviour. Punishment spankings were of the same severity as Maintenance, but with increased duration. Maintenance usually lasting about 10 minutes, whereas punishment, lasting for half an hour.

It used to be really hard for me to cry during discipline. Even the most painful spankings wouldn’t induce tears. Whilst R continued to spank this misbehaviour out of me, finally the tears came. Once I started crying during discipline I found myself in a more accepting frame of mind, which allowed me to learn and grow from my misbehaviour. Also, once I started crying, I found that almost every discipline, even the less severe ones, resulted in tears.

I remember at the beginning of one of our Maintenance schedules, R rocked me whilst I was sitting sobbing on his knee. He was holding me very tight and whispering hoarsely, “Don’t worry darling, I will fix this misbehaviour of yours, you don’t have to battle through with it on your own anymore!” I think it was at that moment when I realised that I really didn’t have to struggle with this on my own, I had tried to give up so many times previously and failed…but, at that moment, after R’s words I felt so secure and loved! It was at that moment that I knew, come hell or high water and a lot of hard work and collaboration on both parts, that I’d eventually be cured from something I always believed to be incurable!

In the beginning I found it impossibly difficult. I had never really learned to eat properly and so it wasn’t so much as eradicating my destructive misbehaviour in order to allow the previous good behaviour to shine through (like giving up smoking where there was once a time a person wasn’t a smoker.) In my case, there was no previous good behaviour – I had always had food issues throughout my whole life. So R had the challenge of not only eradicating my eating disorder, but teaching me from scratch how to eat.

Some people may think that giving up bulimia is like giving up smoking – that an eating disorder is addictive. But with bulimia there is no addiction (like with cigarettes) but a compulsion. Compulsive disorders are psychologically rooted which make them much harder to eradicate. I recently read that Geri Halliwell admitted to resorting back to bulimia in 2000 after being clear from it for 6 years! I must admit that reading such news really frightens me. R tells me not to worry – even if it takes the rest of our lives he will not give up on me. Such loving support from my HOH makes me even more determined to succeed!

I have only ever had the implementations of LDD. Unfortunately, I could not go to professional counselling which made it all the more difficult. In the UK everything is put on a person’s medical record (in very loose terms) which would then be available for any future employer to examine. By loose terms the doctor told me that I would quite simply have ‘mental health’ written on my record without any detail or explanation. Being a teacher would have seriously put my career in jeopardy. My future employer seeing the label of mental health wouldn’t want to risk any children under my care - after all I could have had some serious mental health issue, which may have caused harm to children. The National Health Service in the UK is ludicrous in this area. By protecting patient’s confidentiality by writing the bear minimum on the medical record, they are inadvertently causing teachers such as myself to go underground and resort to finding help else where. I was told by NHS Direct (a confidential medical advice service) that they have a huge influx of teachers calling them about their feelings of malaise and general feelings of depression regarding their stressful work environment. However, all they can really advise on the matter, is that to go through the system, would definitely be made apparent on their medical record. They advise that this may indeed cause complications with any future employment, schools have to be ultra careful who they employ. Where children are in question, a new teacher has to be vetted very carefully!

Many people are not lucky enough to know about the benefits of Loving Domestic Discipline and many people who do know may not be lucky enough to have such a committed HOH! Luckily without counselling and on the pure strength of the fair and firm application of disciplinary spankings, I have made remarkable progress in such a relatively short space of time!

It was about ten months ago when I first told my husband about my eating disorder. In these ten months, slow but definite progress has been made…

The first thing to change very early on was my bulimia. I am very pleased to report that I am no longer a bulimic! :-) The only times when bulimia re-emerged was after very stressful episodes such as Z cutting herself and being expelled from her boarding school. I found that after the initial shock when it was hard for me to eat anything at all, there came a big void. R went back to London, life carried on, but the problem still wasn’t resolved. It was during times like this that I would engage in bulimic activity.

In the early days I found that although my bulimia went, my binge eating didn’t. I really had no notion of what it was to eat properly and I was constantly worried that my HOH would think it all too much and give up disciplining me. In those early days I would binge eat and then exercise and starve in order to lose the weight I had just put on. R was marvelous, he developed a zero tolerance policy in this regard and punished me with equal severity for binge eating. R was relentless in helping me and my initial fears of him giving up became unjustified. However, I did find that binge eating/starving was much more difficult to resolve. Unlike the bulimia which was resolved fairly quickly, binge eating/starving took many months to gradually diminish - although the frequency did lessen considerably with each passing month!

Until quite recently I was left with the situation where I would only very occasionally overeat and diet which was considerably better than binging and starving! My diet has always been exceptionally healthy (these days I eat mostly fish, cooked vegetables and complex carbohydrates, sticking to the principles of the Japanese Okinawa diet) - but there again, ironic as it may seem, I've always been a strong advocator of a healthy diet!

The stage I am now at is a fairly recent stage…the Transformational Discipline I received for submission and acceptance regarding my HOH’s affair has actually worked on multiple levels! My Transformational Discipline has inadvertently brought me up a notch with regards to my eating disorder! When I was in Eastern Europe I had a craving for M&S Millionaire’s Shortbread (which I couldn't get overseas). Where recently I may have eaten too much of the shortbread and then dieted the next few days, instead I worked out how much I could have (in sensible proportions) and not exceed my calorific daily allowance. I am truly amazed about this! Although there is really no big deal in eating a small proportion and counting the calories, to me it is a very big step, because I have internalised this behaviour. I wasn't consciously setting out to only eat a small proportion and count the calories - I did it almost without thinking! I hope one day to be able to eat normally without counting calories, units of fat, or grams of carbohydrate. I really believe that I am on the road to recovery, all thanks to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle and the hard work my HOH is putting into correcting my misbehaviours!

Since my Transformational Discipline I haven't once thought about overeating/dieting at all. Although it may still be too early to tell - I do believe that I have been transformed in terms of issues around eating. This is really great, since it is a major breakthrough regarding my eating disorder! I really wasn’t expecting my Transformational Spanking to overlap into other areas as well!

I will write about the benefits of my Transformational Discipline spanking in another post… :-)

~C~

My Most Destructive Misbehaviour – Part Two

2006-07-19T20:23:00.000+01:00

My most destructive misbehaviour is an eating disorder which stems from early childhood. Issues around food certainly manifested themselves since my earliest recollections….

My grandfather, being a well known Army General had many people visiting who would share meals with us. Our front door would never close. Once, when I was a small child, I rudely told a group of very important delegates that they had no business being here, since they had already had dinner with us the night before!

Meal times were always regimented and on the hour. There was never any question of missing a meal or not arriving to the table on time. Meals were always in the dinning room apart from afternoon tea which was sometimes at the table, or sometimes served in the sitting room or garden. Every meal was sacrosanct - I was never allowed to go and eat at a friend’s house. My duty was to sit at the table with the rest of the family. As a young child it became very laborious sitting at the table for long periods listening to adult (usually political) conversation about the state of affairs in our Eastern European country. Sometimes I was allowed down from the table, but sometimes I had to stay for the whole duration.

When my grandparent’s weren’t cooking they were shopping for fresh ingredients. Taking their time to smell, sample and touch the freshness of what they were about to buy. When they weren’t shopping they would be talking about food and planning meals for the next couple of days. Their whole lives seemed to revolve around cooking!

Lunch and dinner consisted of 3 courses. I would have been more than satisfied to have only had soup for lunch, but I had to have the main course and desert as well! From early on I developed various techniques, such as pouring half of my soup back into the tureen when no one was looking and hiding food in my serviette, then putting the serviette up my sleeve and emptying the contents at the bottom of the garden. Refusing food at the table would have been more than my life was worth!

Breakfast was the only meal which wasn’t ritualised. Once I was old enough to make my own breakfast, I would pretend to have eaten, by placing a small amount of cereal and milk in my bowl and spreading it around. My grandmother always interrogated me on what I had eaten and I lied, telling her that I had a huge breakfast. She was always suspicious but just let the matter be. As a very young child I remember often being sick after breakfast. My grandmother knew I disliked porridge, hot milk and prunes, yet every breakfast this was what I had to endure – simply because she said it was good for me! The rush of being hurried off to kindergarten or school coupled with the disgusting sticky gloop of the porridge and hot milk inside me made me bring it all up. I remember my grandmother getting really irate, telling me that if I ever vomited again, she would make me eat my sick up of the floor! Of course, she never actually made me do this, but the threat was there and my grandmother was really most formidable when she was angry!

My grandmother hardly ate anything herself and was very self disciplined when it came to looking after herself. She wasn’t Anorexic/ bulimic but she certainly had some issues around food. She had a fairly large breakfast, a glass of soured milk for lunch which she cultured herself and nothing at all after that. Once a week she had a fruit day when she would eat nothing but fruit. Apart from eating very little she derived great pleasure from feeding other people. R made the mistake in refusing seconds once to which my grandmother looked mortally offended saying in her broken Eastern European accent, “You DON’T like?” R learned not to argue with my grandmother, instead he put everything on my plate so that I could do the old serviette trick.

Actually, it’s part of my culture (especially regarding my grandmother’s generation) to never accept ‘no’ as an answer. My grandmother would frequently pile her guest’s plates with food and not listen to their protests at all. One time after piling R’s plate for the umpteen time R started being more forceful. “But you MUST eat,” My grandmother said, “You need your strength because you're driving!” (R was driving us back home that night.) This statement of hers has remained a private joke between R and myself ever since!

My grandmother used to take a large number of vitamins a day which also included slimming pills and diuretics. The fact that she took slimming pills makes me seriously suspect that she had some kind of eating problem herself. Taking diuretics was just plain foolish, if not dangerous, since they only remove any excess water from your body not fat! When she became old her housekeeper had to hide all her vitamins and other pills since she just wasn’t absorbing them into her system. She had to be operated on a stomach ulcer since the pills were not being properly digested. I can still see her to this day searching the credence for her missing pills crying and cursing the housekeeper for stealing her pills!

The one thing my grandmother was totally obsessed by was exercise. She went to the gym twice weekly where she would spend all afternoon. She had a bar installed above her bedroom door and would swing on it doing pull-ups every morning and evening. In the very early morning she would stand in the hallway completely naked and would brush her body down with a stiff brush claiming it was good for circulation (which it is) and then proceed with her exercises. Apart from swinging on the bar she lifted weights and did daily press-ups, all of which she did in the nude. She was certainly very much enamoured by her body and was one of the vainest women I’ve ever met!

When I was seven years of age I was sent to boarding school in the South of England (much to my relief!) The food at my prep school was quite frankly inedible. I survived on food parcels from home and the school tuck shop. I went hungry and actually enjoyed the sensation – not so much the sensation of hunger, but the sensation of finally having control over my own body!

My earliest recollections are just a very skeletal outline of some of the difficulties surrounding and influencing me whilst I was growing up. Events in my early childhood certainly go some way to suggest reasons why I developed an eating disorder. I also believe my grandmother had some food related issues which may have indirectly triggered my own eating disorder.

The totally amazing thing about Loving Domestic Discipline which I will discuss in my next post, is that it is so effective in eradicating something which I’ve had all my conscious life. I never thought in my wildest dreams, that I would be cured from something I've always had. Something that had unfortunately become such an integral part of who I am - a bulimic. Loving Domestic Discipline is slowly teaching me from scratch how to eat - since it's something I've never really known how to do. Although I still have a long way to go, thanks to LDD I can now definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel!!! :-)

~C~

My Most Destructive Misbehaviour - Part One

2006-07-16T23:13:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

My most destructive misbehaviour is an eating disorder. I’ve been anorexic/bulimic since I was 15 years old, but have had an eating disorder since I was a very young child.

Before my transformational spanking, I wavered about whether I should confess my eating disorder on the blog. However, since my very severe spanking and in a very short space of time, my confidence has grown. I now realise that to share my difficulties with you, will help me place everything into context. Opening out, will help me realise that I’m not alone with my struggles…

In order to show how beneficial Loving Domestic Discipline has been in helping to eradicate my eating disorder, I will first have to move away from Loving Domestic Discipline and outline some of the early triggers, which have moulded my life so far. Therefore, the past will need to be clarified first, before I can talk about the merits of LDD. To understand some of the depth surrounding my eating disorder I have decided to write three posts. Part One will talk about the history of how my anorexia/bulimia began. Part Two will discuss early childhood problems around food and psychological triggers leading to anorexia/bulimia. Part Three will look at the present and will marvel at how Loving Domestic discipline has made a huge difference in solving what I always believed to be unsolvable.

How My Anorexia Began:

I was anorexic before I became bulimic. I believe that everyone has a purpose to become something in life. My purpose, obsession and driving passion was to be a ballet dancer. I loved all kinds of dancing and took Scottish Country, Latin-American, Ballroom and Tap, but Ballet was my one true love. By the time I was 12 years of age Madame (my ballet teacher) wanted me to audition for the Royal Ballet. She wrote countless letters to my grandmother, telling her that a talent like mine was hard to come by. But my grandmother wanted me to take up a more academic pursuit and declared that she wasn’t wasting all her money on expensive boarding school fees, for me to end up as a pauper in the corps de ballet. I realised that in order to succeed I would have to work extra hard and at the age of fourteen I auditioned for the Royal Academy without my grandmother knowing. The Royal Academy was not as prestigious as the Royal Ballet, but it was a ballet school with a proper academic curriculum attached to it. I certainly wasn’t expecting to pass the audition! When they said they would take me on I had to explain that I would only be available to attend during the school vacation time since I went to boarding school in a different city. They agreed and so my life with the Royal Academy began.

Every vacation I danced with the Royal Academy and soon we were paired into practice partners to dance pas de duex. At first everything was fine, but one vacation my partner jokingly said that I must have put on weight since the last time we met, because he’s finding it hard to lift me on the higher lifts. Such an innocent off the cuff remark triggered my anorexia. I stopped eating overnight and became obsessed with my weight, weighing myself 4 or 5 times a day.

Anorexia hurt my tummy; I drank copious amounts of water and would eat raw carrots or a cucumber a day with some Ryvita, trying to stick to between 200 - 300 cals a day. Going to boarding school helped, no one seemed to pay that much attention to what was/wasn’t eaten. Although the initial stages of anorexia hurt, there came a turning point where I felt elated, deeply happy and could dance with such force, gust and energy. This feeling of elation didn’t last long; pretty soon I would start feeling really tired and moody. I was very lethargic and lacked energy just to walk around. At the point of starvation, I would binge eat and then use laxatives to purge myself. I was always trying to get back to the original buzz of adrenalin, I had previously felt. This adrenalin was really great, even now 24 years later I remember that feeling of tremendous elation. If I ever hear anorexics speak about this feeling, I know exactly what they are talking about!

I became very weak and Madame was always shouting at me to work harder. In the end, I lost my temper with her and she threw me out of her class. My concentration plummeted and I started misbehaving, missing preps and did scarcely any work at all. The final straw came, when I climbed onto the school roof in the middle of the night as a dare, to practise my Grand Jeté en arabesque in the moonlight (which I thought was extremely romantic!) I was caught by the Head Mistress who expelled me from school.

How My Bulimia Began:

In my new school I made friend’s with this girl who was just as obsessed with her weight as I was. She and I began to compete with each other about who could eat the least. Again, being at a boarding school no one really monitored how much was or wasn’t eaten. The prefects at the head of the table knew, but they were just kids themselves and it certainly wasn’t their position to tell tales on anyone.

I started my first serious relationship with ‘I’ who was one of the most influential guys at the school and I wanted to look super skinny for him. It was during this time that I discovered bulimia. I only engaged in this kind of behaviour once or twice (being scared of discovery) and started doing it regularly a few years later, after I had married and had my first child.

My relationship with ‘I’ ran hot and cold and I found myself going out with ‘R.’ The turmoil between ‘I’ and ‘R’ made me feel very insecure which increased the pressure of trying to be the most perfect and flawless looking girl.

I moved to Florida and found that the heat and the wearing of skimpy shorts and bikinis made me even more conscious of what I ate. My father and I ate out a lot at restaurants where I would spend ages cutting up the food on my plate and then hide the little pieces under the french fries etc, only eating the vegetables. My father never suspected anything and thought I was just a picky eater.

Once married to ‘R’ and back in the UK, I continued with anorexia. The first job R did was to join the Army as a trainee officer. R left me at home with a small toddler. I was about 20 years of age, completely on my own and isolated in a small village, I started engaging in bulimia as frequently as four times a day…

Being a bulimic became my great secret. I remember congratulating myself on its discovery thinking, “Now I really can have my cake and eat it!” My bulimia became an obsession. I always knew it was harmful and always thought I could stop whenever I chose. The trouble was, I couldn’t stop and each time I engaged in bulimia, I found myself saying that it would be for the last time – but it never was. I was actually really disgusted and deeply ashamed of myself!

Reading back through our earliest blog posts, is quite interesting. R didn’t know anything about my eating disorder at that time; the only visible symptom he could see was that I was frequently tired and sleeping a lot, my body being starved of all the essential minerals and nutrients. Our first posts make many references to my frequent sleeping habits. Although I knew a lot about nutrition and took all the essential vitamins my body needed, it didn’t stop me being tired after long periods of bulimic activity. R now knows that signs such as being excessively over tired, or keeping my finger nail short on my right index finger (whilst all my other finger nails are long) are clear indications of bulimia.

This is just a very brief out line into what triggered the onset of my eating disorder. In my next post I will explore my early childhood difficulties around food.

~C~

Arrived Back

2006-07-13T20:22:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I arrived back home a couple of hours ago and must say it’s great being back! These last two weeks seem to have really dragged by. I’ve really missed visiting other people’s sites and writing on my own site. Once I catch up on all my emails within the next day or two, I’ll write a post about my most destructive misbehaviour. I'll write about how LDD has benefited me and how it is helping me overcome such problems.

All my very best,
~C~

~My Transformational Spanking~

2006-06-25T13:08:00.000+01:00

MISBEHAVIOR:

My attitude to my HOH has not been great over the years. I fluctuate between being obedient, feminine and submissive, to being moody, controlling and argumentative. I frequently show disrespect by raising my voice and unleashing my frustrations onto him. My HOH had an affair eight years ago. I should have got over this and moved on. Instead, I’ve been stuck with my negative attitude which is causing invariable harm to myself, my man and all those who come in contact with me.

I asked my HOH to help me overcome this problem. I revealed to him that I couldn’t remain in an obedient state all of the time. I revealed to him that I needed his help to put me back in touch with my femininity and submission. I respectfully requested if my man would consider giving me a Transformational Discipline. My HOH agreed and set the agreed time to: Sat June 24th at 6.00pm

DISCIPLINE:

My discipline lasted two hours. One hour consisted of severe scolding, being stripped naked from my clothes, Corner Time and having pertinent sections of Lovingdd’s Transformational discipline read out to me. One sentence which stands out very clearly was that I’ll understand the implications of my discipline... “Under no uncertain terms” and that I’ll think twice before... “flirting with disobedience again.” After reading extracts from the Transformational Discipline article, my HOH came to the corner where I was standing and asked me to define what transformational meant? He then went on to clarify its meaning by adding, that to transform means to change shape. “Trans” meaning to move (like transport) and “form” meaning shape – a mathematical term meaning moving from one shape to another. He told me under no uncertain terms that this discipline wasn’t to modify my current behaviour, but to completely eradicate it – to change shape, to transform, to completely move from a negative attitude to a positive one. My HOH then took the Loopy Johnny and smacked me very hard about ½ a dozen times whilst I was standing in the Corner to start my onset of tears.

After an hour of being told off, of being humiliated, shamed and carefully questioned on the implications of such a severe and transforming discipline, I was placed over my man’s knee for a warm up. The warm up was harder than usual, my HOH saying that anytime I spoke or wriggled, 10 more minutes would be added to the hour. I was allowed to hold his free hand when the pain become unbearable and I did speak out before my catharsis. I repeatedly said “Thank you Sir, Thank you,” before I entered into that deeper level of crying. My HOH was not angry, understanding my utterance to be my submissive awareness breaking through, in response to my deeply felt gratitude.

My HOH spanked me very hard with his hand, after 15 minutes he changed to the Loopy Johnny in order to give his hand a rest. My severe spanking continued for 40 minutes without any break alternating between his hand and Loopy Johnny. My HOH then slightly lessened the severity continuing through the remaining time by allowing me to work through my catharsis. By allowing me to concentrate on the emotional aspects instead of the pain.

At 8.00pm my spanking was over I was then sent to bed for the rest of the night where I continued crying. I was told to record the events the next day in the Punishment Book of the Loving Domestic Discipline website.

AFTERMATH:

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much. I am very tender and sore this morning. My bottom is still very red and swollen. I’m finding it uncomfortable sitting on the chair writing up the events. I have to travel a long distance tomorrow and I’m worried that I’ll find the journey difficult in terms of sitting for long periods. My HOH has told me under NO uncertain terms, that if he has to repeat this discipline again, then he won’t hesitate to increase the time and intensity.

BENEFITS:

It is really quite difficult to talk about benefits after such a short duration. I certainly feel very contrite and sorry for my past misbehaviour. I have certainly been taken over and beyond the limits of pain (both emotional and physical.)

One immediate benefit we both noticed was straight after my transformational punishment. I revealed to my HOH very deep and hurtful past emotions, things that I’d kept locked inside and had almost forgotten about. By being comforted whilst sitting on his knee and allowing myself to cry and "let go" within the loving, protective arms of my man, has been very healing...

~C~

An Essay: LDD - On Femininity and Submissive Awareness

2006-06-23T16:52:00.000+01:00

In order to examine this title, within the context of Loving Domestic Discipline, we need to explore reasons why people often become visibly offended at the suggestion that LDD does unlock the very core of femininity? Feminist issues will also be discussed in terms of masculine and feminine energies and whether “pseudo” feminist ideals are damaging the diversity between the interplay of these energies. Femininity will then be explored as an awareness of self, which can only become apparent when merged with the opposite polar energies. Finally, femininity and submission will be considered within non disciplinary relationships and also their efficacy after the judicious application of LDD.

Natural vs. Normal

Loving Domestic Discipline is natural but it is not normal. If we compare this to other practises like, men spanking men, women spanking men, or some BDSM practises, we would find the reverse true - practises such as these are generally considered normal, but unnatural. In fact, any spanking coupled with sex and pornography is classed as normal. But, if we consider the practise of obedience and respect, it is not considered normal at all. Although it is instinctual for a woman to want to respect and obey her man as a natural expression of her femininity, submission and love, it is considered very abnormal indeed!

Loving Domestic Discipline is natural since it is an innate instinct. Countless couples have practised Domestic Discipline since the dawn of human civilisation. LDD is not normal, however (in the Western World) because normality is a constrained set of rules governed by society. Homosexuality, for example, is normal – society has now accepted it, but it will never be natural. It goes against nature and the natural order – it goes against Darwin’s theory of evolution. Two men or two women will never be able to procreate, the human species are not hermaphrodite like snails or other molluscs.

Normality, however, is transient and always in a state of change. What is deemed normal now wasn’t deemed normal 50 years ago and vice-versa. Natural aspects are not transient, they are unchangeable. The natural expressions in Loving Domestic Discipline are consistent, timeless and constant.

When considering Loving Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle, the beauty of it is its versatility. As a practise, LDD lends itself to being easily adapted into different genres and lifestyles. It is ironic, however, that LDD is possibly the most discriminated group by western cultures. Societal demands putting pressure to keep the natural innate masculine/feminine instincts at bay. Natural tendencies for being able to instinctually awaken to this kind of lifestyle being deeply repressed, often from early childhood.

One of the most fundamental reasons Loving Domestic Discipline is discriminated against is due to its shady past. Historically, Domestic Discipline was considered both normal and natural, however, there were major problems resulting from this practice. Since consent was never considered an option, women had no choice in the matter. This lack of choice resulted in the men’s misuse of power in many cases, which rendered many women non-submissive. Since submission and authority are synergistic processes, both working together in unison, reversing it is also true. Non-submissive, defiant misbehaviour will often lead to a feeling of loss of leadership and loss of masculinity in her man. The weaker man, who cannot cope emotionally with the feeling of emasculation would take his wife’s retaliation as a huge blow to his manhood. Sometimes such cases would backfire into physical abuse. British Law was not at liberty to defend the woman since the line between physical abuse and domestic discipline was never clearly defined. As long as the woman had no broken bones, then it was fine. It was generally considered OK to have bruising and swelling around the face with the occasional black eye. The name given to such situations was called a “domestic.”

With this fine line which existed between domestic discipline and domestic violence it is a small wonder why people are so sceptical about LDD. It is considered extremely politically incorrect in the UK - men being frowned upon as abusers and women as doormats. To argue that it should be accepted on the lines of consentuality often falls on deaf ears. People misunderstanding that the woman is somehow being coerced into giving her consent under duress - from fear of any retribution by her husband!

Normalising Loving Domestic Discipline will prove to be very difficult. Many people will be resistant to the natural and very peaceful results that such a lifestyle transposes. Many people only see one very small aspect which is the punishment spanking. They refuse to see the many positive, and multi layered effects, by often likening the spanking to a misuse of power, violence and abuse. Perhaps they envisage that accepting the LDD lifestyle, would be taking a step backward into the past?

I do believe, however, that nature will always prevail. Whether something is constituted as normal comes and goes with the latest trends as described above. But the very healthy, natural and instinctual expressions of LDD will manifest themselves as a celebration of the man and his woman - a celebration of energies. The manifestation of these expressions may need to go underground. But they will nevertheless, continue to be practised regardless of bigoted opinions and other discriminatory views.

Femininity vs. Feminism

In many ways, feminism in its true sense is a completely separate entity to femininity. Neither has any bearing on the other. Feminism in its true spirit, came about to offer equality to women. No one can argue that this was a bad thing. Since the time of the suffragette movement, conditions for women have improved both at home, work and in society. I would be very surprised if people were against feminism when considering it by its true meaning. However, female rebellion and other feminine misbehaviours soon tarnished the good work of the early pioneers such as Emily Pankhurst et al. Many feminists opted to take a radical anti-men approach. Men who have been raised to be aware of their masculine energies as protectors have been “dammed” by this damaging group of women, who loudly proclaim their so called feminism. Men who used to engage in chivalrous acts such as holding doors open for women, or offering up their seat, will now refrain from doing so, from the fear of getting their heads bitten off.

Whilst there is no direct conflict between true feminism and femininity, the opposite is true when considering pseudo-feminism.

Society in Britain has responded to pseudo-feminism by opting for a genderless society. For example, Britain encourages modern parents to avoid differentiating between the sexes. It is deemed as a sign of good middle class parenting to give boys and girls toys opposite to their genders roles. Their reasoning being that encouraging boys to play with dolls will instil a more nurturing quality in the male (a characteristic more attributable to females.) Whereas, giving girls construction kits will instil reason and logic (characteristics being more attributed to males.)

Such a scheme is riddled with problems. It is a proven fact that boys and girls are attuned to different hemispheres of the brain. Girls are more multi-tasking and will migrate from one toy to another, whereas, boys will usually sit for hours with the same toy. Enforcing role-reversal is extremely damaging. What society is invariably doing is causing a genderless society. Without being able to go through early socialisation, attuned with their genders and roles children will never fully understand the diversity, nor complexity of the masculine and feminine energies. Girls will grow up as “clueless” adults often competing for power with their husbands and other men.

Whilst the true spirit of feminism is outward looking, corresponding to the inequalities in our society, femininity is something altogether different. Femininity comes from within. It is not something learned, rather something felt. It is being deeply in tune with the opposite polar energies of the masculine and feminine. It is a response to the male call. The male call and female response can be witnessed in the subtleties of body language. You only have to witness a flirting couple at a party who come together for the first time. The woman’s eye contact and hand movements seductively draw a man in and then teasingly and shyly cast him off. This is one of the woman’s inborn feminine responses to an interested male. The man on the other hand will often stand squarely in front of the woman, frequently checking behind him as he blocks her from the gaze of other competitors, his body leaning in and getting ever closer. The woman’s voice will become low and husky, with her breathing becoming faster and heavier due to her increased heart rate. The woman is not taught these non-verbal responses they are natural instinctual and innate responses to her femininity.

Masculine vs. Feminine

Femininity is a celebration of womanhood. It is not a fight about what society deems women to be, nor is it a response to political pressures. It is an acute awareness of those innate female qualities and characteristics. These characteristics manifest themselves in feminine energies which truly awaken when the woman is faced with her direct opposite - the man. Her smooth skin against his rough stubble, her curves, breasts and softness against his stronger, muscular squarer, harder frame. His musky manly odour drives her crazy with desire as she presses her smaller and weaker frame against his larger and stronger one. She feels protected as she surrenders the very core of her womanhood to her man. It is a celebration of the masculine and feminine, the coming together, the exchange of energies, love, mingled with the physical thrust and penetration.

Many men find their energies drawn to a woman with more feminine aspects to her nature. They will find a woman very attractive with delicate and fragile qualities. A woman who is aggressive, bossy, loud and controlling will not find herself attractive to most men. A man needs to feel the depth of his masculine power and strength as protector. He needs to feel his strength against the backdrop of her weakness. If she is overbearing then the man feels threatened. He feels he must compete with her over power.

Men respond to delicate childlike (not childish) women. Women, who have these childlike inner qualities, have retained a certain innocence and wonderment about the world. They look at the world with renewed wonder and often have a kind of energy that men find endearing. Childlike women are in tune with the little girl inside them; they have not repressed these qualities but have responded to them. It is the little girl inside the woman who feels a deep need for her mans guidance and correction. The little girl who cries freely when her man disciplines her. The little girl who won’t feel peace until her man has forgiven her and lovingly nurtured her in his strong arms.

Allowing the connection of the inner child to emerge and work through the woman gives the woman a healthy balance, being so much more in tune with her psyche and emotions. Rather than ignore the demands of her inner child, she responds to them, allowing her to radiate with an inner sense of tranquillity. Being very much in touch with the inner depth and core of her femininity – her true self.

Strong vs. Weak.

Without experiencing an increased awareness of my own submission I would have claimed, that it does take an incredibly strong woman to be submissive, since it takes incredible emotional/psychological strength to exude obedience at all times. However, the whole concept of submission is more complex than I initially thought. On one hand, submission is a very active process, not passive as I first envisaged. Living in a society which shams any idea of submitting to the HOH’s authority, makes it very difficult for women to respond to their natural urges. In this sense submission is very active – the woman has to go against the demands of society, friends and family. Often she will find herself isolated and lonely, as she shies away from people who want to pull her away from her natural submissive state. In such a case it could be argued that it takes an incredibly strong woman to be able to go against the consensus and listen to her natural instincts. On the other hand, submission is a very natural expression of femininity; it is very natural for woman to respond to their men submissively, it is what being a woman is all about. It is neither emotionally difficult, nor educationally challenging. It is an innate, natural and healthy expression of being a woman. It crosses all boundaries of whether women are emotionally weak or strong. Crossing all barriers of culture, race and class - submission, in my belief is “femininity” at its root.

Having a weak or strong emotional character may or may be attributed with submission. But it is certainly attributed with distinguishing and acting upon the difference between a “dominant” and “domineering” man. A woman who is both emotionally strong and confident in herself, will not submit to the bullying nature of a domineering man, who (having a weak nature) bullies his woman into obedience for his own selfish gain. Possibly doing so, to attain some level of power and control over his own insecurities and inadequacies.

When considering femininity and submission the two seem inseparable from one another. One could argue, that femininity is certainly synonymous with submission. You cannot be feminine without being submissive and you cannot be submissive without being feminine.

If we now consider the notion of submission being synonymous with obedience, well this is a more difficult question to answer… certainly obedience is the natural result of submission. The more you are aware of your submission then the less effort you put into being obedient, the more natural your obedience is. Thus, resulting in an increased obedience as a direct result of your increased submission (so, this assumption works one way). But is the same true in the opposite direction? Can increased obedience result in increased submission? This is quite a tricky question to answer. On one hand you could argue that any “physical” act of obedience may “appear” to be a submissive act. But very often appearances can be deceptive. It could be argued that if obedience is not “freely” given (when considering slavery for example) then though the act may be a physical act of obedience it is not a mental act of submission, therefore it is not a submissive act at all. The same may apply to women who find themselves in relationships with domineering men. They may be too frightened to leave the relationship. In some cases they may not even be allowed to leave their relationship, if you consider some of the less liberal cultures. These women may not be giving themselves willingly to their husbands. Mentally they would not be submitting, so perhaps this would be a form of pseudo-submission?

Submissive vs. Non Submissive

There are times when women will find their submission to their HOH sporadic. As much as they want to submit and retain the feminine flow through their daily lives, it is at times very hard. Life isn’t always easy and people aren’t perfect. There may be situations when the woman may be harbouring some past hurt/resentment, caused directly/indirectly by her HOH. Sometimes there are real challenges which strive to drive a wedge between their relationship, causing the woman to take leave of her natural feminine tendencies and take on a more masculine role.

Within each woman there are two opposing forces which work directly against each other. These forces are akin to the centripetal and centrifugal force. The centripetal is a positive force it is akin to a woman’s femininity, the natural, central core and expression of womanhood. It is a woman’s submission and obedience – it is what renders her female. This is the force which stirs deep within the woman to respond to those covert/overt sexual energies. It is an awareness of herself, of her true femininity and submission. At the most subtle level, a look or warning from her man will evoke a deep stirring of covert sexual surrender. It is her awareness to respond to the male call and be deeply in tune with her own feminine energies against the diverse backdrop of his masculine ones.

As strong as these natural womanly tendencies are there exists a force which is equally strong, which is akin to the centrifugal force. The centrifugal force is negative, since it pulls the woman away from her natural tendencies. It pulls the woman away from her natural instinctual position and role as a female. Where the centripetal force is one of cohesion, expressing natural order, the centrifugal force is one of havoc and chaos, the pulling away from the natural and instinctual. The centrifugal force is akin to reticence, defiance and severe disrespect to her man. It is going against the natural responses to her feminine energies. It is severe resistance to her HOH’s protection, guidance and discipline.

Women must be aware of these opposing forces. They must strive to move within their natural energy fields. To go against submission, is to create a chasm in the interplay between the masculine and feminine energies. It is to seriously disrupt and harm the natural order and interconnections of the two energies. Such friction will create havoc and harm, where there was once peace and harmony. Masculine and feminine energies are like the ying and yang, to go against this invites negative energies –it is like going against chi.

Any responsible HOH will ensure that the woman is surrounded by her own natural feminine energies. If not, his duty as HOH is to put her back in touch with her submission by administering a bare bottomed, tearful discipline. Such a spanking quickly brings the masculine/feminine energies back into balance and proportion. Such a spanking will always render the woman to face up to her femininity and submission.

Dominance vs. Submission

When a man takes control of his woman he renders her powerless, submissive and feminine. The exchange of energies between the dominant man and submissive woman are extenuated when the man releases the ultimate depth of his authority.

Within the authoritative male there exists a range of different actions, corresponding to the severity of her misbehaviour. These actions display themselves on a spectrum which range from a look or warning at one end, to a severe transformational disciplinary spanking at the other. The synergistic interplay of energies of masculine authority and feminine submission corresponds to what ever place on the spectrum the actions lie. A look or warning will inevitably invoke a tingling sensation in the woman. It will invoke a fleeting fear and a jolt into her submissive awareness. On the other end of the spectrum, however, a transformational spanking, as defined by lovingdd (Transformational Discipline) will force her to face up to her deepest levels of her submission. It will force her to face up to the very core of her womanhood.

Many women often mistakenly assume that it is the man’s job to keep a constant eye out for their misbehaviour. That it is a man’s job to remember every maintenance. Worse still that it is a man’s job to be so in tune with his woman that he can telepathically gauge when she is in “want” of a spanking. One woman once said to me, “Well… if I have to ASK him for a spanking, then what’s the point?” I never forgot this woman’s comment, because it really wasn’t that long ago when I would have been of the same opinion! It wasn’t all that long ago, when I would deliberately brat in order to release my HOH’s dominance. I was of the opinion that my bratting was forcing out his dominance, which would in turn released my womanly submission. But I was sadly mistaken! My HOH was more angry than dominant and the levels of my submission were very weak. All bratting has ever done is to cause disharmony in our home and bafflement to my confused HOH!

I have since learned from Lovingdd’s “Asking” article, that asking for the occasional maintenance or punishment brings out very deep levels of submission. It is extremely humbling and embarrassing to ask for a spanking, especially for punishment. Asking taps into the synergistic process of authority and submission. Asking actively involves me in the implication of my own punishment, which renders me in an accepting frame of mind. Asking, positively reinforces my HOH’s role as leader, protector and corrector. By asking I am inadvertently saying to my HOH that I am in need of his help. That I surrender in love, respect and obedience, honouring his position as protector and leader of our family. That I accept and welcome my discipline without demise. Because I know its benefits will transcend any pain I may experience. That it will benefit me as a woman.

Asking for punishment allows me to prepare in a more submissive and contrite frame of mind. It allows me to acknowledge my HOH’s masculine authority and feel the great sense of shame my misbehaviour has caused. Waiting for my punishment, stripped naked, scolded and feeling very humiliated in the corner or some other compromising position, allows me to prepare mentally and introspectively examine my misbehaviour. Asking makes me feel truly humbled and exudes a calm state of mind and heart. It allows me to accept and even welcome the severity of my spanking, allowing me to truly understand the benefits at an exceptionally deep level.

To summarise: The whole concept of being aware of ones femininity, is primarily a result of being in tune with ones innate feminine energies, against the opposing masculine ones. If a woman is not aware of her energies, then she will never be able to respond to the male call. She will always compete with other men, being oblivious of her own gender role. Increasing pressure in Britain has tried to avoid any emphasis on gender. A genderless society can only cause harm. If people are not aware of their genders, even at a basic level, then they will never be able to form healthy sexual relationships. Pseudo-feminists, feminist-separatists and other sectors discriminating against male led relationships, have caused much harm. In not wanting to discriminate against such minority groups, Britain has accepted these practises as healthy and normal. However, such acceptance is to the serious detriment of the very natural and inborn expressions of both the masculine and feminine. It has seriously damaged women's innate tendencies to follow their natural, inherent feminine and submissive instincts.

There are many different levels of awareness to femininity and submission. This awareness is a direct result of being in tune with the inborn, feminine instincts of being a woman. This awareness is heightened with the interplay between the masculine and feminine energies. At one deep level the woman responds to her man as they make love, as she completely surrenders herself over to his manhood. But at a much more profound level her awareness of self, increasing submission and consequent lovemaking is heightened, when she responds to her man’s chastisement and correction. There is absolutely no doubt that Loving Domestic Discipline taps into a woman’s submissive awareness, where she is embracing the true beauty of her womanhood. There is absolutely no doubt that Loving Domestic Discipline unleashes the truer deeper essences of womanly submission and obedience. There is absolutely no doubt that LDD is the gate way to unlocking femininity and promoting a deep sense of harmony, balance, peace and love.

~C~

Family News (June 06)

2006-06-21T23:24:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

It’s a long time since I posted family news, so I thought I should do one now before June 06 disappears out of existence…

R’s News:

R recently had a nasty accident whilst gardening. He was using a sickle to prune back the wild geraniums (which grow rampantly in our garden) and hit a stone. The sickle bounced off and went through R’s left index finger. Unfortunately, he partially cut through his tendon and had to have an operation to have the tendon stitched up. He had to be very careful and was not allowed to use his hand for some time. Using his finger may have severed the tendon completely, which would have resulted in loss of feeling and effective use of that finger.

R is, however, right handed, so I wasn’t let off the hook at all when it came to his corrective procedures! I had to be very mindful whilst being spanked, to stay absolutely still and not bring my hand around to hold his. Sometimes during punishment, when the pain gets too much I will hold R’s hand as a reassurance of his love and commitment, in trying to correct my misbehaviour.

C’s News:

I’m really sorry, but I have to fly back to Eastern Europe. I will be away from Monday June 26^th – Thursday July 13^th. I'll be away from the computer for the whole of this time and won't be able to respond to any emails. If anyone wants any information regarding the workshop or the Loving Domestic Discipline get together, then please email SnN at smartnnaughty2@yahoo.com.

Before I go, I will finish the essay I started on femininity months back. I tried to pick it up after my last trip away, but I completely lost the thread… I find that if I don’t finish writing something there and then, the moment becomes lost – all my initial ideas dissolve and remain forgotten about. I do promise, however, that I’ll post it at the end of this week, no matter how badly it hangs!

I would like to say how grateful I am, for all your help on the recent troubles I’ve been having surrounding my submission. Before I started blogging, I had no idea about submission at all. I had no concept of what it really meant, nor that submission had always been such an integral part to my life. I would like to thank you for helping me discover such a fundamental part to my psyche. A part I often felt stirring deeply inside me, but never fully realised what it was, nor that it even had a name!

Writing on this site and reading other people’s blogs around the area of Loving Domestic Discipline has really helped me grow in confidence. It is truly wonderful that my journey of discovery has brought an inner comfort and reassurance that I’m not alone with my feelings, but one amongst many…

This realisation has made me so much more aware of who I am and has helped me discover the most hidden and forgotten places of my femininity.

~C~

Transformational Discipline

2006-06-18T19:58:00.000+01:00

Lovingdd’s latest article, has certainly taken our community by storm. Much to his credit, people seem to have really understood the need for such a discipline. I’m ashamed to admit, that although I understood the deep psychological implications for such a spanking, I was very reticent about it. My defence mechanisms in light of my previous struggle with submission, rendered it impossible to even finish reading his article!

My only consolation was the knowledge that I'd be safe from such a spanking. My HOH has little time to read other blogs, so as long as I didn’t tell him about this article, then I would remain protected.

But what is this "pseudo" protection I’m talking about? I am neither protecting myself, my HOH, nor the rest of my family or friends, with my fluctuating negative attitude and non-submissive misbehaviour. If I had cancer it would be ridiculous to say, “I refuse to have surgery in order to protect myself from the pain and fear of the operation.” It would be ridiculous to presume that the cancer would miraculously disappear of its own accord!

My struggle with submission, is like having terminal cancer. There are so many different levels of negativity inside me. Like tumours, they are slowly eating away and eroding the very core of my femininity. My HOH is not home during the week. I’m not fortunate to benefit from daily maintenance discipline. Had I been lucky enough to receive daily maintenance, I would not be writing about the struggle I’ve been having with submission. These struggles would have been resolved a long time ago.

Why the change of heart?

A few days ago, whilst on the Loving Domestic Discipline site I was reading the “Questions” section. In response to one of the comments Lovingdd wrote:

“Many women feel that their resistance to their spankings is instinctive and beyond their control. This is totally wrong. The more a woman learns to be submissive, the more easily she can submit to her discipline. She will learn to accept and even welcome the pain of her spanking, because she knows how much good it is doing her as a woman.”

This statement of Lovingdd’s had a profound effect on me. Perhaps this acknowledgement took me by surprise, before my defence mechanisms had a chance to go up? After all, I wasn’t expecting to be reading something in the Questions section which (albeit indirectly) corresponded to the article on Transformational Discipline. This one statement was enough to be jolted to the truth. In my heart, I knew that the only way forward, would be to surrender to the acute pain and humiliation of an “Avoid At All Costs” spanking. I went back to read the article, but this time instead of dread, I felt a strange calmness transcend over me...

This afternoon, I told my HOH all about the article on Transformational Discipline. I outlined all the benefits, describing how such a discipline would touch on the very depth of my womanly submission. How it would rapidly bring me forward to a more positive outlook with increased understanding and awareness. So, I plucked up the courage and respectfully “asked” if my HOH would consider giving me an almighty punishment spanking of such magnitude. My HOH, understanding the profound benefits that such a spanking would bring, said he would be more than happy to oblige and set the date for next Saturday. In the meantime, he said he would read the article so that he understood it in its deeper context.

Yes, I am frightened. My punishment spankings usually last ½ an hour of solid hard spankings – usually starting with the hand and proceeding to the paddle then loopy Johnny. After ½ an hour my bottom is usually extremely sore from both “thud” and “sting” and I’m physically very tired from crying cathartically. I really dread the idea of having the time doubled to 1 hour. I keep on reading one of the comments underneath the article, where a woman received this type of punishment and it lasted two hours! I gain strength from her comment – if she can go through a two hour punishment then I can certainly go through one hour!

Along with a deep sense of fear about my oncoming discipline, I also have a deep sense of acceptance. Never before have I felt such acceptance in welcoming an extremely severe spanking like this. I actually feel a great sense of relief, as I openly welcome this punishment with some new and awakened understanding.

My defiant, unsubmissive misbehaviour is laced with fatal risks. Like cancer, there is only one stab at a cure before it eats me up from the inside. Only an invasive procedure will ever be effective. Alternative non-invasive methods, have their place and can be very useful in dealing with milder problems. But for something as serious and potentially fatal as this, there is only one solution - to get to the root of the poison and extract it by "direct" and "painful" means. Through a Transformational Disciplinary Spanking.

Please wish me luck, I have a whole week to think about this!

~C~

Healing Steps Towards Submissive Enlightenment

2006-06-14T17:17:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

Last week I posted about the problems I was having with submission. Since then with the turmoil of day to day life, I’ve had little or no time to give feedback. I don’t like to leave problems hanging and unresolved like this. I don’t want you to think that your help wasn’t beneficial to me. On the contrary, it was very helpful indeed!

Over this last week, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, talk and benefit from my HOH’s discipline and loving guidance. I feel as if real progress has been made regarding my acceptance and understanding of my man's affair. I do acknowledge that I have a long way to go and thanks to all your help I have managed to turn a corner…

Anon, is certainly very mature to suggest talking with my HOH, whenever I have feelings of rebellion. This is something I will obviously need to work on. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m not always very mature in arguments; once I reach a certain level I will carry on relentlessly (usually until R puts me over his knee for a sound spanking – only then will I listen!) Having Eastern European blood makes me very passionate. I make love with passion, but hate and argue with passion too. I realise that this passion is sometimes quite negative which often gets me into trouble. I have come a long way in trying to be more subdued with my feelings and approach. My HOH also wants me to become more aware of my smaller outbursts rather than suppress them. I will need to work on being able to respectfully let go of smaller emotions, rather than ignoring them. I find that I ignore smaller emotions quite frequently, which I do to remain in my submissive state. I haven't yet learned how to let go of small issues, whilst remaining both respectful, obedient and submissive.

Wistful is right I do need to repattern my behaviour and I understand that it will inevitably take some time to achieve this. With my man's correction, love, patience and consistency I will eventually succeed. And yes, “wanting” to submit to my HOH means half the battle is won! :-)

Thevikingswife hit the nail on the head when she talked about “absolute” trust. There are so many different levels to trust. I do trust my husband, but, I cannot truthfully say that I trust him the way I did before his affair. I know he won’t do the same again, so I trust him on that very basic level. However, I struggle with trust on a higher and more spiritual level – after my HOH's affair something inside me broke. I wonder if this “something” will ever come back? Perhaps, this “something” was the deeper level of trust? I do know, however, that to “totally” surrender myself in submission I must have that “something” in place, without it I will never experience those profound levels of submission. Without it I will never experience the extent of my femininity - the ultimate depth of my womanhood.

At a deeper level, I do fear giving my "all" in complete surrender to my man. This fear is a primary instinct which denies access to my emotions at the very core. It is a clear demonstration of not being in touch with my emotions at the root…

My dear friend SNN, who probably knows me best of all, was the one who suggested that I wasn’t in tune with my emotions. My first reaction was to block her suggestion with my defence mechanisms by telling her that I’m “perfectly” aware. But, am I really that aware? On the basic level, yes - the levels I talk about with ease are the levels I’ve accepted into my awareness. However, the inability to comprehend why R did what he did is a classic example of blocking certain areas and being completely detached from them. So yes, as a result of blocking these certain levels, by not allowing them into my awareness, these issues have remained UNRESOLVED. Thank you SNN for pointing this out to me and I’m sorry for my first response to you. Sometimes with complex issues like this, a quick response to a well thought out comment can be quite single minded. Sometimes complex problems which emanate deeply need some time for reflection, before a thorough and meaningful response can be made.

It must be said, however, that Loving Domestic Discipline has been instrumental in being the cement that has fused our relationship together. It came at a time when I was planning on leaving my HOH. Instead of discord It has brought us harmony, balance and a deep sense of peace. It has opened up an intense feeling of love, intimacy and protection. During discipline, the deep emotional release I experience through my catharsis, is both healthy and healing - binding and reconnecting us ever closer...

Thank you so very much for all your very kind thoughts, wishes and suggestions.

~C~