My Loving Domestic Discipline Contract
My LDD Contract:
Husband, in helping me to maintain total respect, obedience, honesty and submission I have drafted up this contract between us:
1) I will never hold up the disciplinary process by arguing the justification of my punishment spankings. Whether just/unjust I will receive and graciously accept.
2) I will never procrastinate and try and stall the disciplinary process.
3) I will never refuse the disciplinary process as I have done in the past by telling you I have a migraine, period pain or feel generally unwell.
4) I will never brat you into spanking me.
5) I will never remind you to punish me if you so happen to forget. (But will journal this forgetfulness and my feelings associated with it.)
6) I will never cover up my bottom with my hands or buck with my feet to try and stop the flow of your loving correction.
7) I will never plead for you to stop spanking me; tell you how much it hurts, or how sorry I am in the hope of you stopping - unless you request it I won't say anything at all.
8) I will be respectful at all times during the disciplinary process – if it really hurts I will bite my lip, or hold a pillow to my face. After all "Discipline is meant to hurt, but never harm."
9) I will always keep my position.
10) I will always apologise to you before my discipline.
11) I will always thank you after my discipline.
12) I will always describe what I have learnt after my discipline and I will listen to your leadership and advice in how to resolve my bad behaviour. I will offer you strategies and we will discuss how I will try to maintain my desired behaviour.
13) I will always call you "Sir" during my discipline.
14) I will always keep my journal up to date – where I will concentrate on the 3 D’s (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty) and also record my punishment spankings.
15) I will always present you with my journal on Saturday so that you can assess whether I need punishing separately or jointly with my Maintenance Discipline on Sunday.
16) I will set up a graph (with your help:-) using Excel to record the frequency of my most serious offence. This will be in order to hopefully see a decline and eventual eradication in this extremely dangerous misbehaviour.
17) If I feel compulsion to engage in my most serious and dangerous offence then I will ALWAYS talk with you on the phone so that I can feel the full benefit of your support.
I hope you found my tone respectful and not demanding. I’m trying SO hard to be a good girl.
With love always,
C xx
posted by C's Correction @ 3:06 pm
12 comments
12 Comments:
My darling C,
I am very pleased with this contract and accept it with love. In general, I find your acceptance of discipline very good, it is the amount of bad behaviour that I find disrespectful. Although I do see improvements, it does seem to be slow progress, particularly in the small things.
As you know, I do not like using titles but if it helps then you may call me HOH, Head or Husband. I do not accept Sir.
I will be happy to teach you to use Excel. All you need to do is journal your punishments in the margins - What the pusishment was and what it was for as well as your misdemeanours. We will work on some graphs when you have sufficient data.
In return, I will:
1) Always try to improve as HOH
2) Uphold the principles and methods advocated by LovingDD, without being too dogmatic about it. I do reserve the right to apply my own techniques and to disagree with LovingDD, however.
2) Consider the way I punish you carefully. For example you are right about the piano stool. It is not something I would use again
3)Give you space to express your views without allowing you to cross into disrespectfullness
4) Try to be consistent
With love
R
xxx
May I suggest you turn on the word identification facility provided optionally by blogger, thus avoiding spam entries like the first two here?
Many suubmissive women would hate what is set out here, but I can't help being attracted to it! So what's your most serious offence?
Dear Malcolm,
Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I was prepared to accept a little spam but if it is obstructing genuine visitors then I suppose it is time to switch word verification on.
I wasn't sure what you meant when you said that "Many suubmissive women would hate what is set out here...". Perhaps you could elaborate? Whatever the response, others might have, we intend this to be a truthful account of our Loving Domestic Discipline (LDD) relationship through its development and hopefully fruition. C and I have been together for many years but only just found LDD. I wish we had found it years ago.
I suppose our most serious offence is causing offence. I can live with that, especially as I feel proud of the way we are working through our personal difficulties with such positive results. Hey, it works for us but I do not feel it would work for everyone. Incidentally, C is more evangelical than I am on that point.
Best wishes,
R
Dear Malcolm,
I see my HOH was first to respond?
I would like my voice to be heard too...
Total submission is a great way of life since it brings a closeness which is unparalleled with anything I have ever experienced before... The union of both masculine and feminine energies brings about a new and higher level of closeness and intimacy. Total submission in the female brings about qualities of leadership, consistency and authority in her man. The more a woman submits, the more secure and close she is in the knowledge and trust, that her HOH is leading her in the right direction.
There is a 'strong' and 'uncanny' correlation between 'total submission' and 'total authority.' If one partner surrenders their ultimate 'gift'(both submission/authority being the gratest 'gift' two people can share) it has a 'knock on effect'-it automatically results in the other partner releasing their 'gift'. This is not conscious but a natural flow of love between a man and woman...
If, you consider a 'lower' level of submission. Wouldn't there would be a tremendous amount of energy wasted, as both parties would be trying to second guess each other...? "Does/doesn't she want spanking?" There would be no clear boundaries or framework from which to work from. Such 'pseudo' submission would be very dangerous since it would stop the natural flow of loving domestic discipline. It is also
unnatural... An example of this is bratting. Bratting is a clear demonstration of disharmony and tension in the home. This would cause an unnatural senario causing damage to relationships. Bratting impinges on the natural connection between a man and his woman.
When I need discipline I put complete faith in the guidance and wisdom of my man. I will feel his firm yet loving hand as he strives to teach and correct my misbehaviours. This will not be a pleasant experience... far from it!! But from it I will learn and gain from his wisdom as he lovingly teaches me how to behave in the future. This is, after all, the ultimate act of love my HOH can give me...
My geatest offence is something I do not wish to share publicly. If you would like to know then please email and I will be happy to discuss it privately.
Best wishes,
C
Hi,
First I would like to tell you how I appreciate your blog. It's very intelligently written and I've learned a lot reading various articles. In one, you mentioned how as your level of submission rises, so does your HOH's level of authority or the standard he holds in regard to your submission and obedience. My question is, is there a point in which the wife can achieve meeting the expected standard all the time (at least most of the time) if the HOH's level of expectation also rises?
We are just starting out on this path and I am already overwhelmed with my increasing desire to submit. But I wonder if I will always feel "not good enough" . . .?
Hi there,
Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them very much. I'm sorry about the length of time it has taken me to get back, but I've been away from the computer for a few days.
Please don't ever feel "not good enough." The fact that you even want to submit to your HOH's authority places you in the higher top percent of women!
Your submission to your HOH is a gift of your love and trust - the greatest gift you can bestow! Take your time to "enjoy" your submission and then take some time to reflect on how it truly makes you feel as a woman. If you feel dissatisfied with your efforts and are always striving to improve, it is good in one sense, but in another, you will never be completely satisfied.
Authority and submission works in synergy. The more authoritative your man the more submissive you become and vice versa. It is a beautiful, timeless expression of the masculine and feminine. You will naturally both discover new things about your natures and grow deeper in your submission and your man's corresponding authority as a result. You don't even have to work hard at it! Once the ball starts rolling and picking up momentum, there is no stopping it! :-)
I do wish you all the best,
Let me know how it goes for you.
~C~
i really liked reading this article makes ya think you really need to figure out what you want before you do this cause it is a huge step its not an easy transition but worthwhile in my opinion whatever you post im gonna read i love it ty for the insite and guidence, bethany
Hello bethany,
Thank you for your lovely comment :-)
I am glad you found my contract useful.
All the best,
~c~
Hi,
I am very new to DD and HOH, in fact I havnt even entered into it yet. I am very intrigued by it and I really want to submit to my man. However, I dont know where to begin. I dont know how to talk to him about it and I wanted to get some advice from a real DD couple. So I guess my question is... How do I start a DD relationship with my man? and What do I do if he isnt in to it?
Wow i love your blog, its great to be able to read about another woman who embraces this life choice xx
Hello C
I really enjoy your blog it is very useful for me, specially because we are just starting to get the dd into our lives. It is been somehow hard to accept that I am a independent smart woman but I still need my HOH to take control over my and my actions.
I just got my first spanking last night there was no real reason to it just an introductory spanking. Ever since I been reading about this new live my ways are so much better and I have this inside urge to be submissive and in general a better woman for him and my family.
Still it was very hard to be submissive in that first moment when he ask me to take my panties off and lay down in my stomach. It was not only humiliating and embarrassing but very uncomfortable. I still did it and was able to submit to my first HOH punishment.
It was the first time ever I felt pain after pain and I had no other option but to stay put and try not to move or cry loud. You are right after those initials spankings I could feel my inner me trying to be as submissive as possible for him and in that same way for me for my own good.
This is very new for me and still very useful our communication is so much better and we been having days without a single argument or bad moment.Completely different from before where I was constantly complaining about the minimums things.
I know we still have a long way to go and specially me in this new but great live. I really appreciate your help by letting us know about your own experiences and results.
Thanks
I
“My Loving Domestic Discipline Contract”: Please correct me if I am wrong and I hope my correct thought process is accurately relayed here and please note my experiences come from a preachers kid in a very protected environment and I myself have probably been my biggest protector – I am extremely naïve. That being stated, I can totally relate to C’s “About Me” but I did have a strong father whose ancestors had definitely been accustom to corporal punishment as primary means of parenting for generations. I have two college degrees and am in no way the submissive wife I think I ought to be but that does seem hard with a husband who is very tolerant, self-controlled, non-judgmental, and very level extremely level headed in all he does. I am glad that you have the ability to review items before allowing them to be posted and would not mind a more private audience that this forum. However, I am having a little trouble understanding this contract, I have been researching the CDD/LDD commitment and my husband has so far been against it. I have to let him come to terms on his own but he does not seem to be able to approach it in a serious manner. In my efforts to be more submissive, I do not really see that I can do much more at this point.
1. As a woman being spanked my natural inclination would be to:
a. stall the disciplinary process, also procrastination is part of my hang-ups
b. being bratty: have seen this on a couple of web sites and maybe I just do not get it but I would think that being bratty would definitely be cause for a whipping [belt not whip] as well as being bratty during menstrual cycles and menopausal;
c. Covering your bottom with your hand/keeping your position – I recall these are natural tendencies – does that change with age? Why wouldn’t controlling the situation be covered under the role of the husband who is doing the spanking or if using a belt at arm’s length as I recall reason enough to quickly remove the hand from protecting the bottom! Additionally, how can the wife [if being soundly spanked – keep her position, I recall a whipping being painful enough to justify my action of at least attempting to do my best to get my bottom out of that stinging position even for a few seconds. I would think a sound whipping would leave the wife with the most uncomfortable feeling while sitting down for the next few days.
d. Character tendencies/flaws: Pleading, - Why wouldn’t that be covered under the husbands responsibility to control as other natural tendencies – How can we as women state we will control our natural tendencies in this way [to me these issues are not as right/wrong as following the law i.e. Ten Commandments. Would this not be taking away part of the husband’s ability to lead the wife therefore utilizing his natural abilities as well and honing in on one he needs to?
e. Why would this be part of a contractual issue? Part of the reason to utilize CDD/LDD is to help wives with our natural tendencies as females that leave us with the lack of showing respect because we see connection as love and not respect as our husbands see connection as respect and not love. God commands us to respect our husbands because it does not come naturally [he also commands husbands to love their wives because that does not come naturally]. Therefore, this issue seems a bit presumptuous. Wouldn’t lack of respect be automatically cause for further disciplinary action of course though being allowed to respectfully state and not argue your thoughts as R further commented on.
2. I do not really understand item 17 fully.
3. I hope this entry is not taken the wrong way as I AM attempting to more fully understand this mindset of CDD/LDD.
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