Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Withdrawing Consent

I believe that one of the worst acts of disobedience is withdrawing consent (and then wanting it back). It destroys the equilibrium of peace and harmony in the home. It destroys that deep sense of trust, unity and regime. It makes a mockery of all the effort and hard work, the HOH has put into adjusting his wife’s attitudes and guiding her to more acceptable, positive and conducive behaviour. Once those loving boundaries (limits) have been dispelled, the very fabric of what makes LDD so profound and intense is broken in a matter of moments. That closeness which both held and lovingly bound the man and his woman together, which may have taken months/years to solidly build, can be destroyed in seconds. The synergistic process of submission and authority, once removed, can leave an empty chasm of uncertainty, emptiness and deep insecurity.

It is perfectly fine to withdraw consent, if both parties agree that such a lifestyle is simply, no longer for them. Or, even if one of them, disagrees to continuing the lifestyle. But only after putting a great deal of thought and consideration for the other’s needs – it is after all shared, built on mutual understanding and trust. The important issue I am trying to stress, is that LDD is neither a game nor a tool which can be switched on/off. People either live the lifestyle to the full, or they don’t. If they do, they must be prepared for all eventualities and not temporarily give it up, because the ‘going gets tough.’ It is WHEN the ‘going gets tough’ that LDD is needed more than ever!

I found this out, much to my detriment, when all the issues pertaining to Z started. She found out about our disciplinary lifestyle. Therefore, with all the serious negative issues surrounding her, I thought it best (without any consultation with my HOH) to simply abandon LDD. My HOH was devastated! All he could say was.... “But I’ve put so much time and effort into helping you – how can you even contemplate on giving it up, when you are so clearly benefiting from it? How can you do this to us, yourself, our relationship?” “Because our daughter comes before you and before me – because SHE is the only person I want to concentrate on at present!” I retorted angrily. Little did I realise that such a selfish action, was displaying a fantastic ingratitude to my HOH. Little did I realise that, within days, my behaviour when faced with all of Z’s problems would spiral out of control!

By the end of the week, I had to beg my HOH to re-instate our LDD lifestyle. I had to beg for his forgiveness and admit that it was utterly wrong of me to have given up our lifestyle, without any regard to his feelings and efforts. I had to admit that I simply cannot live without the framework of loving limits and the implementation of loving, but firm spankings, when I misbehave. I had to admit that this lifestyle has given me such grounding and stability - unparallel to anything I've ever experienced before! LDD has given me so much freedom in a very short space of time. I am so much more confident and direct with what I want to do in life - before I was very good at sitting on the fence and contemplating, always starting something but never finishing - thus, never really progressing along life's path. Now I feel this immense strength well up from deep within me.... I feel that I can conquer the world! Since LDD I have never felt stronger or happier as a woman - a very feminine and deeply loved woman.

The punishment for my act of disobedience was to submit to 30 strokes of the cane. If anyone has ever received the cane, then they will understand, that one lash - just one - is excruciating! I have also been told to purchase the most severe type of cane ‘The Dragon’ which will hang in the closet of our bedroom. It will serve as a useful daily reminder, of what will happen, if I ever withdraw consent again!

C

11 Comments:

At 7.2.06, Blogger ann regel said...

C,

You have written a compelling arguement for the LDD lifestyle. It does have benefits beyond the immediate and withdrawing consent has consequences. I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions that surrounded your daughter and family during that moment.

Punishment? Yes, I can see that it is necessary. But 30 strokes? Are you sure that isn't too much? I have just heard about "The Dragon" and I never want to meet up with it. Are you sure you can't discuss with R the punishment and ask him to reconsider? His decision is his to make but if you can ask, I know I would respectfully ask for the punishment to be reviewed.

Just my 2 cents. Thank you for sharing and let your readers know if you can come back from withdrawing consent.

SNN

 
At 8.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear SnN,

Thank you for your comments and kind concerns regarding my punishment. I've already had the punishment last weekend so any negotiation at this point would be futile. ;) Sorry if I didn't make this clear.

I was caned with a standard bamboo garden cane which was quite light weight and not as effective as R had intended. Hence, the need to purchase the most gruesome of implements - the ‘dreaded dragon!’ It actually arrived yesterday and looks very fearsome! I tried it on my leg (lightly) and it caused a red stripe. I can be well assured that this ‘dragon’ will definitely cause welts!

R went up to 30 strokes, since he wanted to take me beyond the limits - it was a severe punishment, for a severe offence after all. With the cane R never usually tells me before hand how much I will receive. He judges his decision on the state of my bottom and how much more I can take. The bamboo cane being not as dense ended up as a fairly light punishment (as far as caning goes!)

R only uses the cane for the most severe offences. The last time I was caned (prior to last week) was 8 months ago.

With the dragon, applied quite firmly, I think around 6-8 strokes would be the limit.... or maybe just one! Lol!

Thank you for stopping by :)
C

 
At 8.2.06, Blogger Storm Rider said...

I agree that the ofense deserves a considerable punishment. There is a lot of hurt that you did by making those statements.
How ever, that cane is brutal, and I beleive that half of that would be justifiable, but not 30.
This is only my opinion, I am not your master he is, and a price must be paid.
You have my support Sweety

 
At 8.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Thank you for your support Sweety!

I've already had the punishment and only sustained 2 smallish welts, so I really got off lightly.
The garden bamboo cane isn't really dense enough to cause much damage. But I hear you on the cane Storm, it certainly can be a lethal bloody weapon! I remember only too well from mt school days!! I'll have to blog about that and tell the tale someday. Maybe in my next posting...

How is Wind feeling? I hope she is better. A nasty cold in the midst's of winter can be rather depressing. I'm glad she has kept her spirits up :)

All the best,
C

 
At 9.2.06, Blogger rivka said...

It was nice to read this and see that you've both decided that LDD is the only way for y'all to go. Sorry you had to be punished, C, but glad it's all over with now.
You wrote a great article here - one I will remember for a very long time.

 
At 9.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear rivka,

Thank you for your compliment about my article - that's so sweet of you!

Yes, I very quickly learned that LDD is the only (sane) way for us to go. It may not be everyone's proverbial cup of tea, but it works for us.

Thanks for stopping by - it is always greatly appreciated :)

C

 
At 9.2.06, Blogger padme said...

Hi C,
I'm sorry to hear about your punishment and I admit just thinking about that cane had me cringe. Yikes.
Thanks for a great blog post.
Hope your doing ok.
HUGS

 
At 9.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Padme,

It certainly wasn't a very pleasant experience, particularly since I was required to bend over and clasp my hands behind my knees whilst keeping my head right down. If I unclasped my hands R would give me an extra lash!

R has found this position very beneficial since it stops me bobbing up and out of position. That tight grip of having to clasp my hands behind my knees, also aides in helping me concentrate and maintain that position. I guess it's akin to being in the yogic position - where you can lock yourself into a contorted position. Once your body accepts this contortion it heightens the meditation by bringing out more concentration and awareness.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense?

Great to hear from you. I hope you and Anakin are well and happy!

*hugs*

C

 
At 11.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

My darling C,

This is a beautiful blog. Thank you. I hope that you understand that I have not been feeling well so blogging has not been easy for me right now.

You should know by now that you will always have my love and discipline but that you should not abuse it by withdrawing consent.

Your loving HOH,

R
xxx

 
At 12.2.06, Anonymous Debbie said...

I have just read all of your blog and I applaud you on "baring yourselves" to all. I do hope its beneficial to your lives. It certainly seems like it is.

Thank you again. I do hope things work out for your daughter.

 
At 12.2.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Debbie,

Thank you so much for your very kind and encouraging words!

My daughter is a lot more settled, now that the pressure is off regarding her exams. I do worry about her mood swings which seem to fluctuate for no apparent reason. Whether this is due to teen pressure or someother cause only time will tell...

Thank you once more for commenting on our blog. We really appreciate it when people do :)

C

 

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