My worst punishment happened whilst on vacation in West Africa. I have endured painful spankings before and have even had a transformational discipline. However, with severe punishments such as this, once the pain subsides and the memory of the spanking is in the dim and distant past – life very much returns to normal. Of course progress has been made and I have learnt my lesson, but a very painful spanking is a lot easier to forget than being deeply humiliated and shamed - especially in front of other people!
We were in transit, going to a small village with an unpronounceable name when we stopped off in one of the larger towns. This town was well known for its market selling mostly batiks and gold. R and I strolled along looking at various stalls, our guide and two other people were also with us. A really lovely piece of jewellery suddenly caught my eye so I called over to R and headed for the stall. I can’t honestly say how long I spent admiring almost every piece of jewellery, but I did spend some considerable time. When I had carefully selected my pieces I looked around for R to ask his permission to buy some jewellery – but he was nowhere to be seen! R, our guide and the two colleagues R works with had completely disappeared into thin air!
At first I was very calm as I started walking in the direction we were all heading, looking left and right to see if R had stopped by any of the stalls. I must have walked 100 yards or so when panic gripped me. I was suddenly hit by the realisation that R was probably listening to his mp3 and not heard me tell him where I was going! I frantically turned and headed back to the stall selling jewellery, but R et al were not there. I continued walking up through the very busy market looking well beyond my previous searching point, but there was absolutely no sign of them! I turned to walk back blinking back the tears which smarted my eyes. I tried to rationalise and stay calm but I had no money and even if I did I wouldn't have been able to explain to a taxi driver where to take me! I desperately tried to remember the name of the village we were heading to, but couldn’t! A deep feeling of dread engulfed me. The market was literally crowded with people, I remember feeling quite paralysed with fear and had no idea which way to walk!
After what seemed an eternity, I returned once more to the jewellery stall and there was R looking as worried as I was. My instant relief was quickly replaced by anger. “Why in the f*** did you go off and leave me like that? How dare you leave me!!” I shouted at R. Due to all my panic and fear I wasn’t aware of so dreadfully disrespecting my HOH, especially in front of his work colleagues and guide. Nor was I aware of using the “f” word which seemed to slip out all too naturally! R looked stunned at my out burst, his face drained as his eyes locked into mine. After my immediate anger I felt a huge sense of relief and just wanted to hug R, but this feeling of relief was short lived – R’s face made it more than apparent of his complete and utter condemnation of my swear word and almighty disrespect I had displayed. The really amazing thing is that I don’t believe I’ve ever used the “f” word and I cringe when I hear others use it – I was so stressed and frightened my use of it came as much of a shock to me as it did to R!
“How DARE you so blatently disrespect me!” R scolded, “I told you that I would be back and you were to stay at this stall!” In the excitement of seeing the jewellery I think I must have blanked this information out and not heard R. My HOH continued scolding me, I could no longer hear his words I felt so utterly humiliated and embarrassed. R's eyes penetrated deeply into mine and in front of the guide and work colleagues he firmly and audibly said, “I will DEAL with you later,” putting much emphasis on the word “deal.” He then came up to me grabbed my arm and whispered loudly (so that everyone could hear) “If you are going to act like a naughty child, then I am going to treat you like one! You are to hold my hand for the rest of our time here!”
I was already on the verge of crying thinking I had lost R, after being scolded in front of our guide and colleagues the shame I felt made the tears really flow – luckily my sun glasses hid most of my tears. I had to hold R’s hand all the time – not in the loving way a man and woman hold hands, but in the way a naughty child is firmly held onto by their elder. R has longer legs than me and he wasn’t keeping at my pace. I had to quite literally run to keep up with him as he dragged me from one end of the market to the other. My relief of finding my HOH had superseded the deep dread of his scolding words in front of his colleagues. His words: “I will deal with you later!” were spinning in my head. I tried to imagine what “I will deal with you later” must have meant to our group? I calmly told myself that they probably think that R will simply “deal” with me later by “talking” to me later!
When we arrived at the village we were greeted by our hosts who had prepared a banquet for us. After all the formalities and greetings R excused himself saying that he had some unfinished business to attend to. He then proceeded to take me across the court yard to where our sleeping quarters were. I was told to strip naked and stand in the corner. After 10 or so minutes R called me over to him and proceeded to tell me that my punishment is severe not simply for using the “f” word which only succeeds in putting myself down, but it was mainly for embarrassing him in front of his colleagues and guide! He told me that in future if I was to ever disrespect him again he would have no hesitation to shame me in front of other people. He told me that the only reason he didn’t spank me in front of our group was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself – it had nothing at all to do with my feelings! R then placed me firmly across his knee and without much of a warm up proceeded to spank me very hard with the loopy johnny.
It didn’t take long for catharsis to break through. My catharsis came as a relief since I usually find it hard to reach this state. Being spanked in someone else’s home was very embarrassing but all my inhibitions had gone – I had been completely stripped of all my pride. The one small relief I had was that our hut was on the other side of the main house and detached from everything else - so at least I was granted some modicum of privacy. After my spanking, R put me to bed without dinner - I was not allowed to sample the delicious banquet. I also missed out on meeting the village chief which I was most looking forward to! The really embarrassing thing was that no one mentioned me at dinner; my absence was simply not questioned at all! I strongly believe that our guide told everyone what had happened. I also strongly believe that the whole village including the village chief got to hear of my spanking!!!
The next day R told me that he would be travelling around with the Loopy John safely tucked into his pocket. It is actually small enough to be concealed into his pocket without anyone knowing it’s there. I certainly knew however! Whenever I cuddled up to R I could feel its hard handle poking into me! R told me that if I was a naughty girl again he wouldn’t hesitate to take me behind some bush and spank me!
The next day was also very telling…our guide avoided any eye contact with me, so did R’s colleagues. Our guide who didn’t particularly spend much time talking to R suddenly became very friendly with him. R had suddenly gained new status and respect. Any respect I had seemed to dwindle into obscurity!
My lesson was hard, painfully humiliating, but one I am never likely to forget!
~C~
7 Comments:
Oh, C! What an experience to have....
I can't even find the words to describe the emotions this brings out. I can feel your humiliation and shame. I can also feel pride in R that he didn't allow conventionality deter him from taking the action he felt appropriate.
How far the two of you have come in your journey! While the pain from the spanking is long gone, this is a lesson I'm certain will stay with you for quite a while.
Oh, Wisty it was a truly horrible experience!
Just writing about it has brought all those feelings back! Somehow it seems even worse recollecting the event than the actual event itself!
I honestly never meant to disrespect my man like that! I do act instinctually whether it's out of fear or temper. I don't often lose my cool...but when I do there is no stopping me and everyone suffers as a result!
The last time I publicly embarrassed my HOH in front of other people was when I was about 19 years old. I never thought it could happen again! :-(
I'm so pleased you commented so positively on my HOH's efforts! He really such a patient man who puts in so much time and effort into my personal growth. Although R may be a man of few words when it comes to contributing in this blog...he is certainly a man of action! And it is the action which really matters! ;-)
~C~
Why have not you left him. I would be in divorce court by now. My god I was looking for cute playful fun stories. Please gain what ever strenght it takes and do what is best for you and leave him. This is unbelievable abuse. This is not love! This is about his wants and needs not yours.
Sexual intercourse is also classed as "abusive" if it is taken without consent - without consent it would be classed as rape.
Our Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is not only consentual, but it was my strong need to live in a man led relationship. It was my desire to submit to my husband's authority. It took time for my husband to finally agree to this lifestyle, now he won't have it any other way. It is both a natural, normal and a healthy way to live.
It is the timeless expression of masculine and feminine energies between a man and his woman.
Sorry to offend your delicate disposition. I'm sure you will find "cute" stories if you look on less challenging sites.
C, Thanks for your beautiful story. I don't know if you still look in here, but I have two questions:
You mentioned you are a mother: Do your children know that you are spanked by your husband?
Also: How do you make sure your children don't, or didn't if they are grown and gone now, overhear him spanking you or you crying.
I am married and a mother too and we go to great lengths for our children not to hear anything. But that takes away a lot of spontaneity. I am interested to know how you manage.
Hello Anonymous,
We were always very careful that the children did not know that I was spanked by my HOH. However, when my daughter was 15 she accidentally found out when we carelessly left the loopy Johnny out.
She is very relaxed about it now, being twenty.
The loopy Johnny was used a lot for my discipline when the children were little. It makes almost no sound. I was also told (very quietly) to do corner time in the bedroom (so the spontaneity was still there) whilst my HOH made sure that the children were engaged with some other topic. I don't know how old your children are, but we had a selection of toys which were put away and brought out when the weather was bad/special treats/illness (or for my discipline :( Or failing that we would put their favourite DVD on to ensure privacy.
We played music loudly in the bedroom and I was told to cry into a pillow.
The spontaneity was never a problem, rather we found that a much needed and sound hand spanking was the one thing lacking!
All the best,
~C~
Thanks C, I asked the last question. Your answer is very enlightening. However, you'll forgive me if I don't show it to my HOH. I'm terrified of the loopy johnny. It looks pretty scary :(
We got some new quieter implements, and we manage, although not as well as you. Thanks again. Hope you post more experiences.
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