Friday, June 29, 2007

Essay - Preparing for Punishment


It is a general misconception to believe that the man’s role during the woman’s punishment is active whilst the woman’s is passive. Both men and women do have very different roles when preparing for the woman’s punishment. On the face of it, the man does indeed take a more active stance. He has to choose the correct implement, plan the severity and duration, remember to adequately scold his woman, plan the best possible position for her specific offence and plan to spank her sufficiently through and beyond her tears. The woman on the other hand appears to take a more passive role. Her role is to yield to her man’s discipline and surrender herself over to his correction. This is, however, where the misconception begins. Many women tend to think that the punishment process is nothing to do with them directly. They believe that planning and overseeing that their punishment is successful is their HOH's responsibility and that it is their job to just “go with the flow.” It is, after all, their HOH who decides the punishment and the HOH who carries it out – all the woman has to ensure is that she is on the receiving end. This is in fact where a lot of problems occur. Common problems such as the inability to cry and the inability to feel full remorse and learn from their mistakes are mainly due to women not preparing themselves sufficiently, not their HOH’s inability to punish them effectively.


This essay will carefully examine different commonly used techniques that women can use to ensure a successful punishment. Although the techniques are nothing new and are all standard LDD practises, it is nevertheless important to point out that if these techniques are practised cumulatively, then these common female problems can be overcome. It is essential for the woman to prepare herself for punishment. Without correct preparation she will never experience the full benefit from her discipline.

The article will be broken down into three sections, namely, a submissive woman’s duty “Before” “During” and “After” punishment.


A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY BEFORE PUNISHMENT


(i) Apologizing

Just as soon as the woman is told of her impending discipline, she should start the process off with a heart felt apology. This apology is not some sort of decoy to try and escape from or soften the blows of her spanking; rather it is one of the first verbal affirmations, to show her HOH that she is ready for her discipline. It shows that she has taken responsibility for her actions and is in an accepting frame of mind and heart to receive the corrective measures needed to modify her behaviour.

If the woman has not taken accountability for her behaviour and feels no genuine apology, then it is up to her HOH on what action to take. Some HOH’s will wait and watch their women closely to see when they have had a change of heart. This waiting time allows their woman sufficient time to feel remorse by realising the graveness of their offence. Once the woman comes to her senses and apologises to her HOH, her punishment then resumes as normal. Other HOH’s, however, consider that the woman’s denial needs immediate punishment (or additional punishments). That swift and rapid action is necessary to put the woman into a more receptive frame of mind. If the woman is prone to stubbornly denying her wrong doing, then it is probably more beneficial to consider a more rapid approach with additional discipline.


(ii) Sir

The moment the woman is told that she is to prepare for punishment she should call her HOH “Sir”. Calling her man "Sir" is extremely important, since it instantaneously transforms her husband from someone she may have joked, teased and flirted with a moment ago, to a man in authority. Although the HOH is always in authority, calling her man "Sir" deepens these authoratitive instincts. It makes him step up his duty as HOH, so that he firmly spanks her to tears inorder to correct her wayward misbehaviour or attitude.

By addressing her man as “Sir,” the woman is helping to release her submissive tendencies. She is verbally reaffirming her femininity, obedience and respect for her man. It is a non-direct way of telling her man that she is prepared for the discipline he is about to bestow. The title “Sir” helps to highlight their gender differences, it helps to restore the natural balance of their masculine and feminine energies. Addressing her man as “Sir” reaffirms her HOH of his manly duty and authority over her. Her HOH is reaffirmed as her leader and Head of House who knows how best to discipline, guide cherish and protect her.

Some women call their HOH’s “Sir” all the time, whilst others do so only during the disciplinary process. Whether the woman calls her HOH “Sir” all the time, or only during discipline is up to the individual couple. It is, however, crucial to call her HOH “Sir” before, during and after each and every punishment.

(iii) Corner Time

Corner Time is possibly the most important time for women to prepare for their spanking. It is a woman’s duty to take full advantage of Corner Time and use this time effectively. Corner Time is not simply a break from the spanking (if it is used in the middle of her punishment). It is not the time for the woman to check her watch or mentally start preparing the evening meal. Rather, it is an extremely useful time to reflect over her misbehaviour and mentally prepare herself for the ordeal of her discipline. Effective preparation during Corner Time can usually produce a successful punishment, where the woman is compliantly brought to tears without any resistance to the discipline. It is in the woman’s interest to mentally prepare for the severity of her discipline. It is certainly going to be painful and her duty as a submissive woman is to endure the pain by obediently maintaining her position.

Some women are very frightened before their punishment. Although fear can be a good thing, too much fear can make her skittish and jumpy which will more than likely take her out of position during her spanking. If the woman suffers unduly with fear she should take the opportunity during Corner Time to relax and take deep breaths. She should confirm to herself that no lasting damage will be done, that her bottom can endure even the most severe blows. She should confirm to herself that she trusts her HOH. That whatever implement he uses, she is safe in the hands of the man who loves her more than anyone else in the world.

(iv) Honesty

If the woman is guilty of committing an offence, she should communicate this immediately. If she is too frightened to face her HOH, she should journal her misconduct for her HOH to read at a later date. Not owning up to a misbehaviour is very detrimental since she mentally absolves herself from that specific wrong doing. It allows the woman to carry on regardless, thinking that her behaviour is more or less OK. If the woman is not honest about all her offences, then there is little surprise if she doesn’t feel completely remorseful and responsible for the ones she does own up to. There is little surprise that she cannot release her tears and truly experience the effectiveness of each and every punishment.

(v) Responsibility

Some women think that if their HOH forgets about a punishment that they are somehow “let off the hook.” This kind of thinking is very negative. Loving Domestic Discipline is a two way process, it is actually the woman’s responsibility to respectfully remind her HOH about her punishment. However, caution should be taken to be extra respectful whilst she is reminding her HOH - since she is migrating into his territory. Some HOH’s may feel undermined about the woman’s reminder and feel that their authority is challenged. If the woman’s HOH does not take kindly to being reminded, the woman should journal an entry stating that no punishment took place. She should also enter her feelings about it. If she was relieved she should say so, or if she was upset that she had needed the punishment to unburden her and bring her forward as a better person, then that is what she should write. She should remember to write honestly and not just say what she thinks her HOH wants to hear. Writing a truthful account of her feelings will serve as a useful landmark in evaluating how much her thoughts and actions have improved over time and how much she has grown as a woman.

If the woman feels frustrated about her man’s forgetfulness and knows he won’t take too kindly to a reminder, she should take responsibility over her frustration. She should go for a run or long walk and try to vent off some of this frustration. Picking an argument in the hopes that he may spank her, is just childish. Bratting should never be engaged in, no matter how much the woman is in need of her spanking. At the other end of the scale, it is also very childish for the woman to refuse punishment by making up some lame excuse of having a bad migraine or period pain. If the woman is irresponsible and inclined to such deception then the discerning HOH should deal with these issues under a separate punishment.

It is the woman’s responsibility to come when called and promptly start preparing herself for punishment. Stalling the disciplinary process by procrastinating or being unduly slow should also be dealt with severely. Anything that hinders the flow of correction is both detrimental to the woman and a waste of her HOH’s time. The woman should not be at all surprised if she does not truly benefit from her discipline if 99% of the time she is fighting her punishment each step of the way.


A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY DURING PUNISHMENT

(i) Remaining Silent

During the woman’s spanking there should not be any verbal communication with her HOH, unless he directly asks her a question, or requires her to count out each impending stroke. If the woman genuinely feels nauseous, dizzy or ill, then that is the only time she should respectfully communicate this to him. Her spanking is not a time to exercise her vocals and scream at the top of her voice, nor is it a time to yell or plead for her spanking to stop. The preparation time before her punishment, should have placed her in a more accepting frame of mind to welcome the spanking as a much needed tonic,which will help her grow as a woman. Yelling or pleading for her punishment to stop is not helping her benefit from her punishment. By submissively accepting her spanking and meekly complying, she will be more receptive to her own emotions and will not fight her surrender to catharsis.

(ii) Holding Position

There is no doubt that the woman’s spanking will hurt. There is no doubt that a punishment spanking is meant to be an unpleasant experience. Discipline is meant to hurt. If it was a pleasant experience then it would have no effect punitively and there would be a danger of the woman misbehaving on purpose. Holding position without kicking, clenching, pushing up, twisting from side to side or blocking is possibly one of the most difficult challenges for the woman. The woman must work on submissively yielding to her swats without coming out of position. Coming out of position not only makes her HOH’s job harder, but it is also cheating the woman out of an effective punishment. If all her energy is concentrated on rebelling then she won’t be in a submissive frame of mind necessary for catharsis. By compliantly maintaining her position she will discover the very profound depth of her femininity and submission. As soon as she stops fighting her spanking she will find herself rewarded by becoming so much calmer and in tune with the whole disciplinary process. Her contrition and remorse will bring her deeper into accepting her punishment rather than rebelling against it. Once her mind becomes more focused on her misbehaviour rather than rebellion, she will find herself entering a new awareness where her complete obedience during discipline results in her deep cathartic surrender.


(iii) Accepting Each Discipline Graciously

Even if the woman is implicated in an offence she did not commit she should nevertheless prepare for her punishment in the same way regardless. If she has committed no offence she will still benefit from her punishment. She can use it as a practise session to work on her obedience and submission. For many women this seems unduly harsh if not unfair, but the alternative to this by refusing discipline would seriously undermine her man’s masculinity. It is the woman’s duty as a submissive woman to constantly uphold her man’s authority. It is not easy being a HOH, the woman’s job is to obey and comply - such obedience from the woman strengthens her HOH’s leadership and resolve.

Accepting an unjust punishment is possibly one of the most difficult tasks for a woman. However, accepting her punishment when it was not her fault does have far greater rewards. By graciously yielding herself to an offence she did not commit enhances the epitome of her femininity and submission. After some time has elapsed she should of course tell her HOH that it wasn’t her fault. Her HOH at this point may feel terrible; it would be up to the woman to put his mind at rest by telling him how much the discipline had helped her with her submission. This also greatly rewards the woman since the HOH will think her submission and obedience to him as quite exemplary.

Naturally, if the woman has a chance before the unjust discipline to respectfully communicate to her HOH that she is innocent then she should of course do so. But a situation may present itself where the HOH is very angry and wants to take immediate action. The woman should naturally, never communicate her innocence before her spanking in such a situation, since it may end up in a battle of wills. Such refusal would tarnish her submission and undermine her man’s role as HOH. The woman’s duty is to uphold her man and lovingly support him in his role.


A SUBMISSIVE WOMAN’S DUTY AFTER PUNISHMENT

(i) Thanking

After the woman’s spanking has come to an end it is the time to thank her HOH for his efforts. Some women are so grateful that they fall to their knees and orally felate their HOH. Whilst with others, the closeness and reconnection after discipline follow their flow into making wonderful love together. Whatever transpires, it is absolutely essential for the woman to remember to thank her man properly.

After a thorough spanking the woman will generally feel a mixture of tiredness and a very sore bottom - her bottom will usually feel like severe sunburn. But the overriding feeling that eclipses her tiredness and soreness is a great sense of relief. The woman will feel that a great weight has been lifted, that she has truly been redeemed and forgiven by her HOH. The safety, comfort and bonding after a punishment spanking are the most profound experiences, which restores the harmony balance and inner peace for the woman. Restoring the woman’s balance and bringing her inner peace and happiness must be properly thanked. It is the woman’s duty to always remember to thank her HOH.


(ii) Strategies – The Way Forward

Effective punishment results in an outcome where the woman has hopefully learned from her discipline. She has learned her lesson well so that she is less likely to perform the same mistake again. Such an outcome is, however, unlikely if the woman has not fully taken on board the changes needed to improve her misbehaviour. One of the most basic things a woman can do is to always communicate to her HOH how the discipline has helped her. Usually after thanking her man for her spanking, the woman should discuss ways forward which will help her eliminate her undesirable behaviour from repeating itself. She should submissively ask her HOH for his guidance so that she does not fall into the same trap again. Such an act reaffirms her HOH’s role as her leader. It provides her with his wisdom as he counsels her with the necessary manoeuvres and strategies needed to help her progress forward. It also clarifies to her HOH that his woman has taken her punishment seriously. By asking for advice on how to make further progress with her good and desirable behaviour actively involves and implicates her in the punishment process.


To conclude: This essay has tried to show that the woman needs to take an active involvement in her discipline. Traditionally, the man will continue to take a more physically active role; however, the woman’s preparation (although not always externally visible) is nevertheless equally important. Together the man and his woman make a successful team when it comes to creating a successful and effective punishment.

The woman should remember that successful discipline involves her input just as much as her HOH’s. She should take every opportunity before, during and after her punishment to deepen her feminine awareness and submission. Taking every step to successfully prepare for her discipline is the woman’s duty as a submissive wife. It is the woman’s duty to work along side her man and support his role as HOH. She is not some irresponsible child who has no notion of what is good for her. As she chose to live this lifestyle because she recognised the benefits as a woman, she must now work hard at achieving the end result. The mental preparation required by the woman is crucial to ensuring she experiences the very depth of her emotions and full submission during punishment.

24 Comments:

At 1.7.07, Anonymous eismar55 said...

Hi,

I accidentally came across your blog. I spent nearly an hour to read it. Wow! I am impressed who many thoughtfulness. You have a nearly scientific approach to spanking.

I was fascinated by what you wrote about cornertime. Well, that is what my blog is about. So I intend to tell my visitors about your blog and will put a link to your blog on my site. Hope that is okay with you and your HOH.

With kindes regards to him and best wishes to you

Eismar55

http://cornertime.blog.co.uk

 
At 1.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the hardest part of my punishments is when my body submits and i sob uncontrolbly. when that happens I lose bladder control. I decided to consider it a part of my Submission. It made my HOH very Happy. but he stil usus the cane to put me over the edge to make me submit ouch

 
At 1.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi eismar55,

Thank you for your very kind compliments. Thank you also for considering to put a link up of my blog. I will of course return your link. I think your site is facinating since it adds a Eastern European flavour to discipline and spanking.

May I just add that your English is excellent! Considering that you don't live in England and only know English as a result from being taught it in school - I am very impressed!

All my best,
~C~

 
At 1.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about your loss of bladder control during discipline. Sometimes these issues come about after child birth, the menopause, prolonged illness, invasive surgery or can just be hereditary.

You can take certain steps, such as going to the toilet before every discipline and ensuring that you empty your bladder properly. Also making sure you don’t drink anything an hour before your discipline should help. Long term benefits such as simple daily exercises to strengthen your sphincter muscles will help immensely. You shouldn't worry about this because it is a very common female problem.

The fact that you have decided to consider this as part of your submission is very positive. It sounds that you are so close to your man that you’re not embarrassed by your natural bodily functions. Each couple adapts the standard Loving Domestic Disciplinary practices to their own unique way of doing things. There is no right or wrong way and you should never be judged by the procedures or techniques your HOH uses to discipline you.

The cane, if used in moderation for the most severe offences is very effective. It can bring a woman to tears instantaneously - which can aid in the effectiveness of the disciplinary process.

All my best to you,
~C~

 
At 8.7.07, Blogger Paolo Macca said...

"Amazing" amount of work put in there Miss C,you sure do know how to put things in writing.I have also spent quite some time reading on your blog,well done to you and keep up the good work.
Paolo

 
At 10.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Thank you Paolo, it is very sweet of you to make such kind comments about my blog. I have spent time reading your blog too. I really enjoy it! It is always nice to get a male perspective on DD. There are too many female writers.

All my best,
~C~

 
At 12.7.07, Blogger A.S.S. said...

Very powerful and thought provoking essay. Your second point about the using "Sir" during a punishment is excellent. We are a couple that very-very much likes to laugh and joke and enjoy each others company in a fun and free flowing way... and that includes during much of our spanking time, which is most often of the erotic nature. The use of "Sir" during a punishment spanking though, really does a great deal to separate what is happening from the fun and playful stuff. It's a must for us.

Your points about corner time, and the goals it should be designed to achieve were excellent too. Some women are very frightened before a spanking, and thus that is where their mind focuses... on their fear. They're unaware of what might be said, and what ~the reason~ for the spanking is. For them, a period of reflection and calm is really must. It doesn't *add* to the punishment, but it does allow the punishment to have it's full intended effect.

Again, fabulous job. We really do love your blog!!

:)
~Todd & Suzy

 
At 22.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi C,

I really like this essay. One of your best yet. Keep it up.

 
At 22.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Todd & Suzy,

Thank you for your lovely comment! I can only apologise for not responding sooner. I wasn't alerted until today that you had left a comment. I seem to be having a lot of problems with blogger lately :-(

You are so right that the use of "Sir" separates fun, playful and erotic spankings from disciplinary spankings. By using "Sir" the woman is instantaniously put into a more submissive frame of mind which prepares her to be more open and receptive to the lesson her HOH is trying to teach her.

All my best to you both,

~C~

 
At 22.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your kind compliment!

All the best,

~C~

 
At 28.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always say sir to my HOH when it's discipline time. i start to get teary when it's that early, just from the psychological shift.

 
At 28.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

It is good that you can cry at a very early stage. It demonstrates your surrender as a beautiful, yeilding and feminine woman.

~C~

 
At 3.8.07, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Corner Time is an absolute must for me. Standing naked in a corner gives me a chance to wrap my mind around what is about to happen to me, and gives me a chance to reflect on just why I am in this position. I find it very humbling. That I am standing in a corner at his behest. This is so very necessary to enhance my submissiveness, to prepare for my punishment. I requested Corner Time from my HOH because I needed it for a greater experience of my discipline. It gives me a more intense, thoughtful lesson. Somehow it gave my HOH more strength for the job he needed to do. It gives him time to think as well as gather his strength of intention.

Calling my HOH Sir during discipline came naturally. He is always my HOH, but when it comes to punishment, his correction, he becomes Sir.

Thank you for your thoughtful posts.

 
At 4.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Elizabeth,

I fully understand your need for Corner Time. I, like you, also feel that the quiet time in the corner helps me to prepare more effectively for my punishment. I also find it very humbling. Any negative attitude I may have is quickly dissipated whilst I stand naked in the corner facing the bare wall! :-)

You have raised a very interesting point about your HOH needing that time whilst you are in the corner to gather his strength and resolve.
Thank you for this point.

Yes, Sir is such a instinctual way to address your HOH during discipline. It transformes the situation to a more authoritative one, so that the atmosphere can take on a more serious tone conducive to our discipline.

Thank you for your thoughtful comment :-)

All my best to you,

~C~

 
At 15.10.07, Anonymous elin said...

Hi,

I just start this LDD life style on my 27th birthday last 2 weeks, but I've been follow up your blog since last month. I asked LDD as my birthday present from my husband, after being such an arrogant, annoying, stubborns, dis respective, disobedient, dishonest and controlling wife for almost 4 years!

I 'm having a hard time to remain my position during the spanking. My HOH always made me bend over the couch/ bed and I will pull up my skirt.He used his hand and wooden spoon during spanking. I found myself struggling hard to accept the spanking, especially the punishment one. After reading your essay about preparing for punishment, I guess I had to learn be more submissive during the spanking time.And also remain silent because i keep saying sorry during the spanking, hopping my HOH will reduced the swats :)

 
At 17.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello elin,

Congratulations on deciding to live this wonderful way of life! What a great and memorable start to your LDD journey by starting it on your birthday. :-)

I am so pleased that my essay has in some small way helped you remain more submissive during your spanking (particularly during punishment.)

Saying "sorry" in the hope that the punishment will stop earlier than intended, or reduce the severity of the swats is a common misbehaviour faced by many women who are relatively new to LDD. If women take each opportunity to submissively comply during their spanking, they will undoubtedly find that they will make remarkable and steady progress.

Good luck!

All the best,

~C~

 
At 19.10.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 18.12.08, Anonymous C said...

What a great post. I still struggle with staying position at times but your pointing out that it is a sign of submission is a good point. I am hoping to find time to read more of your blog.

 
At 27.8.09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

your blog is great.

I also loose control and wet when I am spanked.

I am spanked with a diaper under me in the diaper position. or bending over the bed with a diaper under me This way it can be lifted up if I loose control during my spanking. and after I have got the number of swats that I needed the diaper is then taped on.

Most times it is after the spanking during corner time when I am comeing down from the spanking and everything lets go that I wet.

This has worked great because it is part of the whole spanking process.

Andria

 
At 29.8.09, Blogger C said...

Hello anon,

It is certainly not uncommon to lose control and wet yourself during discipline. In fact, the extra humiliation of having done so will be very beneficial to the whole disciplinary outcome.

By being diapered in this way, your HOH is tapping into the very foundations of your inner child - i.e. the infant. It is here where submission first manifests itself. Who we are as living sexual beings evolves from infancy, albeit at a very primitive level.

Best wishes,

~c~

 
At 29.8.09, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello anon,

It is certainly not uncommon to lose control and wet yourself during discipline. In fact, the extra humiliation of having done so will be very beneficial to the whole disciplinary outcome.

By being diapered in this way, your HOH is tapping into the very foundations of your inner child - i.e. the infant. It is here where submission first manifests itself. Sexual submission evolves from infancy, albeit at a very primitive level.

Best wishes,

~c~

 
At 2.11.09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andria,

I love your idea about the diaper! During corner time I came close to wetting myself more than once.

I shal buy a package of diapers later this week and present them to my husband and see if he thinks it is a good idea. Does anyone know what type of diapers I should buy?

Kim

 
At 12.11.09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found this website, not so sure how, but this is an abomination! First, what the heckle is a HOH? Second, this is SO sexist. And I'm only 12! I mean, think about it! Your husband should not be able to do stuff like that to you. It's controling, and it's wrong. Didn't women get the right to vote and be free sometime in the middle of the 1900's? I just read your essay, and if that happens to me when I get married, I WILL call the police. My parents don't do anything like this and I certainly won't either. It's called abuse and I have absolutely NO IDEA how you people put up with it! You guys who agree and think that it's okay for someone to do that to you should try sticking up for yourselves. This is your life, not your HOH's (Still don't know what that is) and you don't have to put up with this. Women have rights and as much control over things as men. We are free! I hope read my post and take it into consideration.

On the other hand, great format, punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Unlike some essays, yours is exceptionally good. :)

~Cicicoco97~

 
At 16.11.09, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello ~Cicicoco97~

Thank you for your input.
I, like you, also believe in woman's lib. What women's lib did was give women the freedom to choose to live alongside men and not be in their shadow. They had the choice to either stay at home "kept" and under the authority of their husbands, or HOH (male head of the house hold) or they could take an authoritative stance themselves, i.e. go to work, sometimes earning more than their husbands or even being the sole bread winners. This is very admirable and I really hold no discrimination towards women who choose this way of life. However, it is ALL to do with choice. Some women want and even need to feel under the authority of their husbands. By having their HOH's take control leaves them feeling super feminine, protected and very loved or even in some cases owned. It is by no way abusive and in many cases (myself included) it is the woman who has to persuade her man into such a relationship! ;-)

Not all women are submissive. This lifestyle is not for everyone but for those who have felt that deep sexual submissive urge from puberty.

It is wonderful that society is becoming more tolerant of people's sexual desires. A human being is a very complex myriad of conflicting emotions, to pigeon hole people into what society thinks is acceptable is very wrong. Society is after all a social construct. It wasn't that long ago (as you pointed out) when women were not allowed to vote. I believe that something as natural as DD will come into the "accepted" realm soon enough.

Like you, I would also be shocked if this life style was forced on the women (or men). but surely you must agree that with consent (within legality and safety) people should be free to explore their own sexuality in anyway they desire?

You also write very well and come across as someone much older than 12.

All the best,

~c~

 

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