Friday, February 16, 2007

Essay - Submission in the Work Place



I would like to reflect on more ideas pertaining to what it truly means to be a submissive woman. In my last post I discussed that submission directly derives itself from sexuality, from the manifestations of the masculine and feminine energies. I also discussed the importance of maintaining that submissive awareness when the HOH is not present, namely in the work place. Today I would like to extend and explore these ideas a little further....

Although it is not a pre-requisite for women living the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle to remain in a submissive state when not in the presence of their HOH, it is certainly very desirable to do so. One of the main reasons for this importance lies in whether a woman truly has the attributes of being submissive, or whether she struggles to attain such characteristics. If she is truly in touch with her innate feminine self, then she will remain submissive regardless of what situation she may find herself in. If she is struggling with her submission then she may find herself yo-yoing between acting like a man in the work place and surrendering herself as a feminine woman to her HOH. At first glance, there may be nothing primarily wrong in maintaining two opposing characteristics, after all women are generally considered very multi-tasking. But it does, however, beg the question whether her submission to her HOH is weakened? Surely, if a woman were to attain the “deepest” levels of submission so that she could blossom and radiate in her womanhood, this could only be possible if she discarded all masculine traits from her persona?

Another problem with this yo-yoing scenario is that a woman is not a machine. If she is acting with more aggressive manly characteristics at work, it would be very difficult (if not impossible) to simply switch to her inborn feminine instincts immediately when she comes home to her HOH. I believe that many women would find such a task difficult, especially if they are in a bad mood and things at work have not gone according to plan. If she has been acting aggressively at work she will more than likely to further her aggression at home, instead of quietly talking about her bad day with calm and considered reflection. A further problem women may encounter would be at a work party, where her HOH would also be invited. If she has spent all her time behaving in a masculine way with her colleagues, she would find it very challenging to behave appropriately when faced with both her colleagues and HOH simultaneously.

I believe that this yo-yoing scenario would be very detrimental to a woman’s well being. She would find it exhausting trying to fit the mould that society expects from her whilst struggling to release her true femininity in the privacy of her home. I do not believe that such a woman would ever discover the true beauty of her womanhood where she could blossom and radiate and epitomise all that is female. I do not believe that the truest, deepest connection will ever be found between the man and his woman. The woman’s gift of submission releases the man’s leadership and protection over her and vice-versa – Loving Domestic Discipline is after all a synergistic process. Without her total unadulterated surrender the woman will never discover the depths of her femininity – she will never fully grow as a woman. Without her total unadulterated surrender she will never discover the full power and masculinity of her man. Without her total unadulterated surrender she will never experience the deep and profound loving connection between herself and her man. I believe that only with unadulterated surrender, where the woman is giving her most precious feminine gift, her submission – only then can the truest and deepest love be found.

The synergistic process between authority and submission can only work if both parties are not struggling with their natural gender roles. Loving Domestic Discipline can facilitate them both to grow in their natural roles – both the woman and her man benefit. The more a woman submits to her man, the more she will release his authority. The more authoritative her man, the more her submission will be released. It is a natural, timeless movement between the man and his woman, to act against it would not only jeopardise the woman’s femininity, but would seriously be detrimental to her man’s masculinity. There is a saying that behind every good man is a good woman; the same can be said that behind every good woman is a good man. Her man is a figure of male supremacy – the superior man. To truly honour him she must submit to him freely, she herself must become the superior woman. Not superior in the sense that she is above everyone else, but superior that she is in touch with her inner most core, her true feminine self.

In order to become her true feminine self she must accept her submission as part of her nature of being a woman. If she must work outside the home (many women do) she should be true to herself and remain within her submissive state. She should see her work as a “service” to others. By providing a service she will immediately feel less competitive and more humbled. If the woman doesn’t have to work outside the home, then she should try to serve others by taking a voluntary job. Such an act of service to the community will enable the woman gain a deeper understanding of her feminine qualities. By helping and caring for others outside her immediate family will enable the woman to gain a broader awareness of her womanhood, through her submission her femininity will be glorified. Such an act of service to the outer community will tease out her very feminine nurturing qualities, regardless of whether she has children, the nurturing of others outside her immediate family, will help her to view life less introspectively, it is after all easy for the woman to care for the people she loves. By helping others, her femininity will be strengthened, she will learn to empathise with others and become more altruistic, she will no longer carry a selfish outlook, behaviour or attitude. An act of serving others outside the home will, therefore, help to establish a much stronger and therefore more permanent submissive connection between herself and her HOH. Submission after all comes from deep within, it is the very foundation of her womanhood - it is not some outer manifestation which she can choose to adhere to whenever her mood prevails.

Many submissive women naturally put others before themselves, but then find that they are being taken advantage of. In the work place this can have disastrous consequences since the poor woman is faced with having to turn up to work daily, it’s not a situation she can easily escape from. A vicious spiral will appear and before long the woman will feel unvalued and used by her work colleagues. It is imperative for the submissive woman to be assertive. Many women mistake “assertiveness” with a masculine trait, but nothing can be further from the truth. The woman must learn to politely decline, when demands are too high. Other people often mistake submissive women as doormats, who are there at their beck and call. By firmly, but politely saying “no” she is in fact portraying her submission as something strong and powerful. She should never allow her giving nature to be taken advantage of.

By being politely assertive in the workplace, the woman will find herself less likely to misbehave and act in an unfeminine way. There may be many attempts by her colleagues to cajole her into hurtful gossip, or into other negative situations where she would be compromising her femininity. She doesn’t have to reveal that she is subjected to discipline from her husband, or even that her man is the HOH and that they are living a Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. She certainly doesn’t want to alienate herself from their company, but by the same token, she doesn’t want to fall prey into bad habits either. It would be very simple and effective for her to say, “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass on your invitation, my husband won’t like it.” If she is then quizzed or persuaded to misbehave, by being told, “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” She should assertively say, “But, I truly love my man, why would I even want to go against his wishes?” By declaring her love and the closeness of her relationship would leave her colleagues wondering about their love and commitment in their own relationships. By acting assertively the woman is a superior glowing example of a true woman - submissive, strong and determined to stand proud against the wave of feminist opposition against her.

Although it is imperative to be assertive in the workplace, it goes without saying that a woman should never display such blatant defiance with her HOH! Displaying assertive behaviour to the leader of her family would be sheer insubordination and as a consequence should be severely dealt with.

Sometimes it can be men who will intimidate the submissive woman. If they know that she is under the authority and leadership of her husband, they may expect her to submit to them too. Although, women should remain sweet, submissive and respectful to all men at all times, they should remember that only their HOH is in direct authority - only he has the wisdom, love and guidance over her. It can also be tricky if other men know about her lifestyle, they may want to know every detail of her discipline. In such a case the woman should exercise caution, especially if her discipline has any sexual overtones. Whilst some men may be genuinely curious, it would be hard to differentiate the genuine men wanting to learn about the lifestyle, from the ones who only want the information for less positive reasons.

Another often misunderstood issue pertaining to the workplace is the whole concept of money. Society has put far too much emphasis on money and its value. So much so, that money is associated with leadership and power. Unfortunately, people usually value others by how much money they make. Many women believe that if a potential HOH is not making enough money then he cannot be a good leader. But nothing could be further than the truth. In fact, very often the reverse is true. Leaders of companies are usually so stressed and tired of having the burden of all that responsibility at work, that they are usually quite laid back at home (often taking a back seat altogether!) It is generally a misconception to equate CEO’s as being great leaders within the home.

Since Western society has brainwashed its people into believing that money equates to power, it is essential for the woman to surrender this power (her money) to her HOH. Such an act will invariably help with her submission and trust in her man’s leadership. Although such a notion would not suit every woman or relationship, it is nevertheless, a truly submissive gesture of love and trust. Too many women wrongly assume that if they make more money than their man, then they are somehow above their man in station. This is a total misconception! True power comes from within a person – it actually has nothing at all to do with money. Some of the greatest leaders in the world were penniless, think of Ghandi, Mandela and the Dali Lama to name but a few examples. Any man can win the lottery and become a multi millionaire over night, but this would not make him a more powerful person or leader, it would not change his persona, who he truly is inside. Outer appearances, fine clothes, expensive car and house do not render him anymore or less of a man.

As we come to the end of our reflections on “Women in the Workplace” we have touched upon and drawn conclusions on a number of different issues. Firstly, we have illustrated the importance for a woman to try and retain her femininity (submission) at all times. Yo-yoing to and fro, by using both feminine and masculine traits at home and work, would never allow the woman to fully engage in a continuous submissive relationship. She would never discover the ultimate core of her true feminine beauty. This would also hinder her from experiencing, that deeper bond of love and trust with her man. The "true" depths of love and trust emanate from the central sexual core which comes into play when the man and woman's energies are brought to life. By maintaining her ultimate submission at all times - only then can she experience this profound and ultimate union with her man. Secondly, we have come to the conclusion that it is of vital importance for the submissive woman to be assertive in the workplace. By standing strong for what she believes in she is standing as an exemplary model of femininity for other women to follow and admire. She is strong and will not be bullied or cajoled into situations she would end up misbehaving and getting into trouble. Thirdly, we have touched upon the misconception of money and power and have briefly revisited the concept where the woman hands over her pay cheque to her leader. This acts as a way of not only totally handing herself over in trust to her man's leadership and authority, but also relinquishing power (her masculine power). Handing all power and control to her lover, leader and disciplinarian, would be one step closer to becoming the supreme, submissive female - a true godess amongst women.

~C~

9 Comments:

At 18.2.07, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Another excellent article. Especially helpful for me as I work directly for my HoH!

 
At 18.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Elizabeth,

It must be wonderful to work directly for your HOH! By serving your HOH in the workplace, it must act as a reinforcement of his influence, power and authority he has over you.
It must be wonderful to have the continuous opportunity to show your obedience, respect and submission to your man.

You are a lucky woman indeed!

~C~

 
At 19.2.07, Blogger DD Lady said...

As most of us have learned, there is a huge difference between asserting ourselves in a positive way, when the situation calls for it whether morally or otherwise, and the overtly aggressive woman.

It gets exhausting running into so many pensive, sarcastic, 'act strong' attitudes.

I've learned most times, you can accomplish SO much more with a kind, soft word.

Great article!

 
At 19.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Kimberly,

You are so right; the kind soft approach works wonders and often diffuses the opponent’s anger altogether. Although it can be challenging for submissive women to work in an environment where there is a negative underlying attitude.Being assertive in a negative way will only escalate any negative situation into further hostility and conflict.


~C~

 
At 21.2.07, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Dear C

Thank you for your wise words. I will try to take them to heart. For some reason I find it harder to submit to his authority at work than at home but what you have written has made me think what an opportunity this situation provides me.
Elizabeth

 
At 1.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am very submisseve in the place where I work. Many of the girls I work with admire me for it and always ask me advice. The guys find it refreshing and say they wishtheyre girlfriends or wives were like that. Good manners and submitting will go a long way

 
At 1.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi anonymous,

You are right that good manners and submission does go along way.
I am glad that people notice your exemplary behaviour. I am glad that you act as an example to promote the effectiveness of womanly obedience, submission and respect.

All the best,
~C~

 
At 24.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi C,
What happens in my case where my husband and I have our boundries well in place at home but since we have a buisness we created equally and work together daily the boundries are out of wack.... I have a strong financial background and my husband has strong people, technical skills. In this failing economic society we struggle with finance (money) constantly just to keep the doors of our business open. For example we work long hours and after all is said and done (payroll, overhead, materials) we don't even get our pay to support our family, and yet to not loose a good employee he agrees to give him an incredible raise, and also purchases (on credit) many more tools for our shop. In my book after 14 years in business we never know what work will come in tomarrow, if we can even keep going, to unpredictable so why replace something that "ain't broke" just to say "I got a new ....." My philosophy is not to work for a the sake of having a job and just getting by, but to work for a future. There are too many times he will lock the office door and remove his belt, stand me up, spin me around and spank me soundly for my C.F.O. sugesstions. Because of my submissive demenure at home he expects me to be the same and takes any constructive - educated request as insubordination. When this happens I have the tendancy to carry resent over into the home. he constant dance - struggle is exhausting. Maybe you could read through my babble and offer some advise please. Thanks ( A )

 
At 25.7.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi A,

Although I have never worked in a business type of relationship with my HOH and therefore cannot directly understand the intensity of your situation, I will try to answer if I were in the same predicament...

The impression I get is that you both have different roles in your business. Yours is to plan the finances and overheads and your husband's is in technical support? I think the problem you are conveying is that your husband is overruling your decisions?

Have you respectfully and submissively broached the subject of feeling unhappy and undervalued in your role? You could gently ask your husband if you are doing a good job? And if he is genuinely pleased with your work, why he is overruling you? In your conversation with him you must of course emphasise that he is your HOH and that you are subject to his authority at all times. Tell him how much you appreciate his leadership and authority and how much you love submitting to him. Tell him that you never have any intention of going against his authority and that your respectful question arises from the fact that you are unhappy. You are only unhappy because you feel you are not being listened to. If your husband is genuinely not happy with your work and wants to overrule your decisions, then you must accept this with dignity and try and see where he is coming from. Use it as chance to increase your submission and feel genuine humility. (Perhaps it is your husbands intention to build your character?) If, however, he is just a little enthusiastic about the business and is taking over your role - then just ask him politely and submissively and reveal your feelings of unease to him.

The best time to ask would possibly be at the weekend when you are both relaxed and cuddled up on the sofa, or after you have made love. Never raise the subject in a stressful moment. Being an educated woman is a good thing. Airing your educated views is also a good thing, as long as it is done lovingly, respectfully and submissively. Some women believe that men don't like educated women. Such a statement is not true. What men don't like is when women use their educated ideas in a shrill, controlling, demanding and aggressive way. Men like feminine and gentle women that are nurturing and loving. If they happen to be educated then this is an added bonus.

The more you relinquish control and submit to your HOH's authority the more your HOH will respect and utilise your educated ideas. As the old adage goes...."Behind every good woman is a good man" and vice-versa.

Perhaps you should also pay particular attention to the times when your roles will overlap. Although you are in charge of the finance your husband as a "techie" may need the latest equipment. Perhaps he sees a bigger picture, one he hasn't shared with you? Good staff is also difficult to get hold of and I appreciate the financial constraints, but again perhaps his reasoning is very valid? Maybe for the issues that do overlap you should set up a weekly meeting? In this way you are always kept in the picture and are part of the decision making process. Perhaps if you can respectfully suggest that any drastic changes (such as new equipment or staff promotions) ought to be written in an agenda a month before implementation then it will give you both some time to discuss the merits the new changes.

Remember, submission is a continuous journey. No woman is the epitome of submission, we all find some areas harder than others. The fact that you even want to submit to your husband places you in the top few percent of women. Submission requires a lot of effort, I think it must be harder for you since you are always in your HOH's presence. Keep up the hard work! :-)

If you have time please post again and let us know how it has gone for you.

All my best to you,

~C~

 

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