Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Essay - Exploring Submission...



Recently I have been examining the complexities behind submission.
I’ve found myself wondering what submission truly means...

At the heart submission is overtly sexual. The woman surrenders herself during lovemaking to her much stronger and powerful male. The most frequently demonstrated position is where the woman submissively lies on her back, whilst her mate dominates from the top exuding his masculine energies, as he thrusts his manhood deeply inside her. She must accept this most potent and masculine part of his body by submissively opening her thighs and allowing him to penetrate her. Many women have fantasies of being ravished (raped) by the much stronger male, whilst they are defenceless to protect themselves. Such fantasies are the woman craving to be “taken,” “forced” and “consumed” by the physically stronger male which acts as a backdrop enhancing their femininity and weaker sex.

In some ways there is a distinct parallel between the desire to be ravished and the desire to be disciplined – both (on one level) are the woman wanting to have her feminine submissive energies teased out by the assertion of her dominant male. By testing his manliness by either seducing him into forced sexual ravishment or bratting for a spanking is an effective way of feeling his masculine flow of energy. This masculine flow of energy, in turn eases out her submissive urges so that she can feel “taken” and “overwhelmed” by his masculine force.

I am not advocating that bratting is a good thing; it is in fact a very bad thing. I am simply highlighting the parallel between bratting and ravishment and stating that it is one way that some women who are not quite in tune with their submissive awareness tap into their submission. The synergistic process between authority and submission is extenuated as her man forces her to yield into submission. As he turns her across his knee, she at last feels his power and with his power comes that warmth and profound sense of love, protection and security she has been yearning for.

Bratting is in fact a very destructive and negative act. Whilst bratting may bring about instant gratification, it does not bring about any long term solutions. The submission experienced by the woman is in fact a pseudo-submission. The reason it is not genuine is that the submission has not been freely given by the woman, but orchestrated in a selfish and manipulative way – she is using her man as a play thing to do her will - in effect she is playing with his emotions. Her man will find himself in a world of confusion. He will never know whether her display of heinous misbehaviour is of genuine concern, or play acting for a spanking. Her man will usually feel so disillusioned that the last thing he will want to do is to pander to her wishes - when she is “deliberately” misbehaving for his attentions.

The very notion that a woman finds that she must brat extenuates the imbalance in their relationship. An example of such disequilibrium can be: Either a couple who are both new and struggling with the dynamics of their Loving Domestic Discipline relationship; a woman who is struggling with her own submission; a man who is struggling with his own authority or a combination of the above. Bratting highlights the equivocal that ultimately leads to chaos and havoc. This is the very opposite of what the purpose of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is – to create balance, peace, harmony, love and a much deeper connection between a man and his woman.

Most women don’t find it a problem tapping into their submission during lovemaking. Many women who have lived the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle for a considerable time, do not find it difficult remaining submissive throughout their spanking. But women who are fairly new to such discipline or new to the use of implements may panic when the reality of the pain and shame of their spanking becomes too unpleasant. Such women may have yearned for a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship for some time, but when the vivid all too apparent reality hits home, they find themselves blocking, twisting, kicking and clenching their bottoms. One of the reasons they panic is that they are not yet fully submissive. The profound depth of emotional surrender required may appear very different in reality than it had in fantasy.

Some women new to the lifestyle can’t cry during their spanking. Many are still struggling with their inward turmoil in refusing to yield and face up to the shame of their misbehaviour. The root of such misbehaviour is often found in the depths of the unconscious – this emotional release is a deeply cleansing and positive experience which slowly begins to unpick at the deep rooted causes of her misbehaviour. A lot of women have found that on reaching catharsis they can no longer feel the pain of their spanking, since the shame of their misbehaviour overrides the pain on their bottom, women who experience this for the first time feel truly liberated. Whilst, they start to understand the root cause of their misbehaviour, they also start to explore these deeper and more profound levels of submission. In doing so, they become more in tune with their own femininity and womanhood. They also embrace a deeply intimate union and connection with their man, becoming a whole lot closer and in tune with his wishes than they ever thought possible.

It can be clearly seen that the root of submission manifests itself from the overt inter-play of masculine and feminine energies, namely lovemaking. It can also be seen that this interplay of energies can be tapped into during the disciplinary process, in a more covert sense. But the challenging question which comes to the mind of most submissive women is how to continually remain in a submissive state, even throughout the most mundane times in their daily lives?

We have already clarified that a woman’s submission is fundamentally laced in sexuality – from the exchange of the male and female energies. Since submission is deeply rooted in sexuality, it is this heightened state of sexual awareness that the woman must strive towards in order to remain in her submissive state.

The dynamics of covert sexual energies weave themselves throughout the couple’s daily lives. A “warning” glance or being told she is a “bad” or “naughty girl” sends a shiver of dread down her spine as she subconsciously feels her bottom feeling hotter as she squirms uncomfortably. Being told she must prepare for punishment, strip and stand in the corner fills her with such fear. The fact that she will be placed naked over her man’s knee and corrected for her misbehaviour by being spanked to tears and beyond by the man she loves more than anyone else in the world, is a profoundly intimate experience. Likewise, being told what a “good girl” she is sends a shiver of excitement and pride in her own accomplishments. There is little doubt that there is a covert sexual energy between the man and his woman. Every day these dynamics are enhanced as she watches her man closely. She watches to see what small thing she can do to please him. How can she serve him and show him how utterly devoted she is to him? What more can she do to physically show her deep felt appreciation for his leadership, guidance and application of firm and loving discipline to place her back into a more loving frame of mind and heart? The energy between the man and his woman feels electric as the inter-play of energies intertwine themselves throughout their interaction.

Remaining in a submissive state is fairly easy when there is a direct inter-play of energies – i.e. when the couple are together. Remaining in a submissively compliant state becomes more difficult when the couple are not together and even more of a challenge when the woman must liaise at work with other women who act like men. This is where submission becomes quite hard to maintain. To be “truly” submissive and remain in that submissive state requires a great deal of work and effort. Only very confident and emotionally strong women can become truly submissive. Only emotionally strong women can stand strong against the wave of opposition and feel confident and proud for standing up for something they truly believe in. They shouldn’t antagonise their female colleagues for behaving like men, nor try to proliferate their lifestyle onto others. Women who behave like men have fallen prey to society’s pressure. They are not free, but are themselves victims, brainwashed into believing what society expects, rather than listening to their innate feminine instincts.

The woman who is deeply in tune with her own submission remains true to her conviction. She does not bend to pressure to behave in a masculine way; she does not partake in office gossip about the demise of men, nor drink copious amounts of alcohol after work. She does not use ugly unfeminine swear words, nor act aggressively. Rather she displays a quiet assertiveness which other women secretly admire. This assertiveness epitomises her strength as a “superior” woman, it epitomises her as being deeply in tune with her femininity symbolising her courage and strength. It renders her submissive, obedient, and soft with an internal radiance of femininity - a true goddess amongst women.

Remaining in a submissive state in the work place is much more of a challenge, but it is this challenge which is exciting. Loving Domestic Discipline is not static but fluid and dynamic. There is no end goal but a continuous journey. The office setting where the woman is immersed in a world of women behaving like men is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate her superiority and strength. I am not advocating in being aloof and unfriendly. On the contrary, the woman remains affable, helpful and approachable. She is very kind and bends over double to help others, but at the same time standing strong and not being swayed by the vast consensus.

One of the most powerful and submissive acts a woman can do is to have her pay cheque going into her HOH’s account. He is, after all her leader, so it makes perfect sense that he should control the finances. With her pay cheque going into his account (to which she has no access) she is surrendering herself totally into his care. Her HOH will give her a weekly budget for house keeping and it will be up to his sole discretion whether her behaviour has been good enough to render any “extras” she may desire. This is a deeply powerful act and not something that modern working women will find easy to do. It is, however, an immensely submissive act. An act which only women who are deeply submissive, emotionally strong and secure in their relationships can consent to. The efficacy of such an act speaks volumes to her HOH. She is in effect telling her man that she trusts in his guidance and leadership so much, that she is handing herself over to him completely.

Generally speaking women are not “consistently” good with money. Many women go on regular spending sprees and buy things they never use or wear. Generally, when men spend money they purchase expensive technical gadgets which they do use and get a constant pleasure from. Men’s spending sprees are generally very rare – once or twice yearly. Some women on the other hand, will spend money on a weekly basis – just for the sake of spending. Such behaviour is very destructive, even to the richest of families. The woman on her spending spree is striving to find instant gratification to fill a hole in her empty life. Rather than mooching around the mall aimlessly looking at what she can purchase, she should spend her time working on a happy home. She should be baking her family some nutritious food or kicking a ball in the park with her HOH and children.

Handing financial control to her HOH teaches her to become a better person. It teaches her to value money and trust in her HOH’s leadership implicitly. Such an act frees the woman from paying bills and other worries. Liberated she can begin to experience a depth to her submissive awareness, a covert sexual surrender as she submits to the energies of her man. She can begin to experience herself as a deeply feminine woman. A woman who is superior, liberated and free.

~C~

11 Comments:

At 1.2.07, Anonymous DD Lady said...

DD Lady said...
C, you always write such thought-provoking articles and this one really shows your efforts.

With a woman's surrender comes such beauty, grace and wisdom. It took me many, many years to realize submission's hidden qualities.

I have never understood bratting. It goes against the very nature of what LDD stands for and, in fact, takes away from its gifts.

Thank you so much for this entry.

Love,

DD Lady
31 January, 2007 21:56

 
At 1.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Kimberly,

Thank you for the compliment.

Yes, a woman's surrender and submission is the very epitome of femininity. It is very sad that not every woman has experienced the true joys of womanhood.

There is a new book called "Killer Woman blues" where the author discusses women who act like men as being "victims." I had never contemplated this before. I've always tended to avoid aggressive and dominant women (being a little scared of them!) I never thought of them as being victimised. Victimised in so far as being swayed by a genderless society.

The link to the first chapter and review can be found on The Loving Domestic Discipline website. It is well worth a read.

Love,
~C~

 
At 9.2.07, Blogger WistfulWench said...

C, once again you have made such a powerful statement! Your point on the work to remain submissive while in a career hits home. That is one of the most difficult issues I deal with. You have given me a wonderful new perspective to think about. Rather than feeling I need to take people on "head-to-head" in order to be strong, maybe I need to work on being strongly myself....

Thank you for this posting! I needed to read this today!

 
At 9.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello Wisty,

A compliment from you means a great deal to me, since I truly admire you as a submissive woman! You have taught me so much about the art of submission, obedience and respect.

I do believe that it is important to maintain submission throughout the work day, when it can be hard. It isn't always easy maintaining this state especially when confronted with "women acting as men." I think it is imperative to be "assertive" and stand up for what you truly believe in. By being assertive at work and not being swayed into behaviour not befitting a woman, you are showing your continuous obedience to your HOH.

Whenever you discuss your submissiveness, I feel that it comes so naturally to you. Although I believe that fundamentally all women have an evolutionary pre-disposition to be submissive, not all women are in tune with it.

I am curious to know if you have always felt naturally inclined to submission or whether you have had to work on it?

Love,
~C~

 
At 11.2.07, Blogger Elizabeth said...

Hello

I really enjoyed reading your essay on submission and I am glad you are back blogging.

Best wishes
Elizabeth

 
At 11.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello Elizabeth,

I am glad you enjoyed the essay. :-)
Yes, I am back blogging again, but perhaps not with the same frequency (for the time being). I am busy decorating, which takes up any spare time I have.

All the best,
~C~

 
At 13.2.07, Blogger WistfulWench said...

C,

I would have to say I was born submissive. It has taken me years to learn to stand up for myself and what I need. That is an ongoing struggle, as my natural inclination is to do whatever it takes to please people. When it comes to my job, it is much too easy for that to become a problem. (Part of what Master has been working with me to correct over this past year! lol)

One thing I find helpful is to know that He expects me to be strong. He expects me to do my best at all times. But the ONLY person I need to worry about pleasing is Him. It gives me boundaries I need in order to keep my life on track.

There are aspects of my submission that I do work at, though. It's not always easy to put my ego to the side and remember that He is always looking out for my best interests. I think part of that issue is that I've been on my own for so many years. I've HAD to take care of myself and it's difficult to let go of that responsibility.

Hmmmm.... This is getting me thinking.... I love it when you do that!

 
At 15.2.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Wisty,

I can really identify with what you say. I too have been more inclined towards pleasing people since my earliest recollections. Some people do, however, take advantage of a woman’s giving nature. I also have had to learn to be politely assertive whilst retaining my submissive nature. This is not always easy to do – but is imperative.

You seem to have a wonderful man Wisty. It must give you great joy to please and serve him the way you do. He sounds incredibly nurturing and protective. You are a lucky woman indeed!

It is incredibly difficult for most women to put their ego to one side and surrender themselves in complete and utter submission to their man. I understand that it must be very hard to truly surrender yourself in trust, especially if you have been on your own for so many years. It can also be difficult to do this if the woman’s man has in some way violated that trust (such as an affair). It is, however, necessary to try and put any negative doubts behind, by concentrating on the very positive and rewarding benefits of submitting ones true feminine essence. I believe that only in this surrender where the woman is giving her most precious feminine gift, her submission – only then can the truest and deepest love be found.

 
At 11.4.08, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear C,

I found your blog from AKM's Marriage Bliss blog. I greatly enjoy reading all of the entries in both this, and the new blog that you have been using. I explored some LDD in a previous relationship, and am trying to start a new one with the same ideals.

However, I would like to point something out in this blog. I can agree that it takes a lot of strength and trust to offer one's pay check to her HOH. I also believe that it is a great way to express/display/practice submission.

I don't know whether you know this, but often, it is men who fail to bring in necessary dough. A lot of mean cave to their weaknessess, and prey on the submission of their women. In such a case, a woman does not spend frivolously. She saves, and contributes the majority of necessary money for her children's education and to the mortgage, or other household needs. It is an insult to all women to say that they don't spend properly. Of course, there are women who do spend frivolously, but there are many men who do the same as well. Is it not true that both in the US and other countries, women are typically more educated than men? They look into the long term. I cannot deny that there are plenty of wonderful men, but fact of the matter is that *woman* must be strong.

I know this got long, but my point, in short, is that you shouldn't belittle or underestimate a woman's capabilities with finances. She is smarter than simply throwing money away. Please show respect to yourself and other women by acknowledging that when the needs arise, a woman is capable of "getting smart" or at least trying to.

I grew up in a messed up family, and it is to my mother that I owe everything. Not to my father. In fact, her submissiveness during the early years of marriage is what ruined our family, subsequently complicating life for me and my brother. Fact of the matter is, whether a man or woman purchases it, a "toy" is a "toy".

Love,
R
PS: I still love your blog. I just felt the need to say this. I don't have an account, but if you respond here, I will see it. :o)

 
At 12.4.08, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear R,

Thank you for your comment.

You are so right when you say that it is sometimes women who are better at finances than their HOH. You are also right when you point out that there are many women who are exemplary at handling finances. Women are the center of their home, they run and organise their homes and as a result have acquired the skills to feed a family on $30.00 a week, for example (should the need arise). Women are naturally very strong and submission actually accentuates their strength not weakens it.

I'm not sure I understand your point about a woman being better qualified or educated than her man? Please could you explain what you mean by this? A woman's career, earning potential or education has nothing at all to do with a woman's duty to submit to her HOH.

I am not belittling women and I apologise for writing my essay in a way which clouds this issue. My point is very simple; submission is innately feminine in the same way that authority is innately masculine.

If the HOH has a problem with alcoholism, debt, gambling or just finds it difficult to handle the finances, then the woman will need to step very carefully. The woman must never make it seem that she is in control. This very act would seriously undermine her HOHs role in the home. Which would then go on to exacerbate his addiction.

You know R, every case is very different. My essay was trying to point out that in a relationship where both the woman and her HOH are equally good at handling money, it would be a beautiful act of submission for the woman to give up control in this area. Giving up control would allow her time to engage in her natural feminine instincts of loving, obeying and serving her HOH. I do, however, totally agree with you that not every woman is lucky enough to have such a choice.

Thank you for raising this point.

Respectfully,

~C~

 
At 15.4.08, OpenID solacexseeker said...

Hiya C,
it's R. Thank you for responding to my comment. The education thing was kind of vague. My point was that a lot of times, it's understood that a woman bears the burden of family, and so she is always sent to be educated, while men can spend their youth "free". I come from India, a culture in which submission of women is required. However, the stupidity of it all comes when every woman is required to get a college degree so that she is marriagable, and yet, after marriage, is expected to deal with an alcoholic/womanizer/abusive husband, while squirrelling money away for the kids and for the home. All the while, she has to pretend to be submissive. If she truly is submissive, and defers to her husband, it would be a surprise if their children don't get sold into prostitution/slavery. You know, when the lion is hungry, he will eat the cubs. Only the lioness remains. It's terrible. Anyway, these are issues that go way beyond the scope of what we're talking about. I guess I just wanted to make the point that a woman's mind is not so simple as to be frivolous with things. I suppose, coming from my culture, I find it especially ridiculous because a woman is expected to be a successful lawyer/doctor/nurse. A sure pay check. And then she's required to act stupid. BLAH!!! Anywho...this got long. Take care, C!!
*hug*
R

 

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