Family News (Feb 06)

From now on, each month we are going to update any previously mentioned issues. This way, all loose ends will hopefully be tied, as you will be kept informed of how each and every situation is unfolding and resolving itself.

Since Christmas our lives have been in turmoil, due to my daughters cutting and subsequent expulsion from school. Many of you kind readers have offered inordinate amounts of support, which has been of an immense help! I really cannot thank you enough! With R working away and coming home weekly, (sometimes x2 weeks), my life isn’t always easy. Blogging our family problems within the confines of this ‘virtual’ and ‘anonymous’ space, is a relatively easy and effective way of reaching out. Telling our neighbours is not. Unfortunately neighbourly gossip spreads like wildfire! The same applies to extended family, where (in my family at least) there is often competition on how brilliantly the children achieve. Any deviation from this is due to bad parenting, in their considered opinion!

Z’s news:

Z is very up and down with her emotions. She recently spent about 3 weeks in bed with very deep depression - although presently, she seems very light and happy! She isn’t generally very tactile, but recently I’ve been getting lots of hugs and kisses from her. I have spoken to my mother’s psychiatrist about my daughter’s volatility and he thinks that she may be demonstrating early signs of Bi-polarity. Since Bi-polarity is hereditary and since both my mother and great Aunt are suffering from it, the chance of it being normal adolescent behaviour is looking rather bleak.

R’s news:

R has started his 5 week vacation. Yesterday, (his birthday), we were supposed to have been flying off on our vacation to Africa, but due to all the family upheavals this has not been possible. We are still going, but not until next month and five weeks in Africa has now been shortened to two. We will probably stay in one country (Ghana) and there will of course be no time in which to see the Sahara. Oh, well… c’est la vie! The beauty of life is its unpredictability and the challenge is how we deal with life’s problems.

C’s news:

I can’t pretend how bitterly disappointed I am about not being in Africa right now. I woke up this morning to the grey miserable English sky, whereas, I should have been under the blistering hot Ghanaian sky. Instead, R and I are spending our ‘vacation’ time at home doing loads of DIY. R will be putting a wood-burning stove into our kitchen and also sanding the parquet flooring. Such jobs will create terrible dust which will spread through the whole house. I will be keeping on top of the chores plus decorating the house from top to bottom. We need to get the house ready so that we can put it on the market. We MUST leave this country soon since the CSA are financially crippling us. Approx $1000 per month is going in support of a woman and child we don’t even know – nor ever wish to!

My behaviour has not been on top form. I allowed my journal to slip and have started engaging in my most destructive misbehaviour. Prior to the problems with Z, LDD was really working as a disciplinary method to eradicate this dangerous addiction. Now I seem to have slipped backwards…. At least I now understand that there is a strong correlation between stress and this destructive behaviour. So, yes, I was caned quite severely on R’s birthday. R really wants me to stop, so has stepped up the ante concerning this issue. He tells me quite emphatically, that if I do this one more time, I will have to blog what my destructive misbehaviour is, on both our blog and Lovingdd’s punishment book! R also wants me to openly write more about my punishments… for some reason I’m finding this increasingly more difficult to do.
I just feel really embarrassed, but perhaps a little humiliation will be useful in driving the message home so that my behaviour can really change for the better?