Warnings...

My good behaviour seems mainly to be attributed to the many warnings my HOH has in place. I know that if I seriously overstep the mark in a given situation, what the likelihood of any consequences will be...

I am hardly ever spanked outside, but I’m often warned of such a punishment. The threat of it hangs over me, playing on my mind. The humiliation extenuating from such a punishment is indescribable! Whenever my HOH takes me by the arm and leads me into an alleyway, I feel an immediate dread, fear and nausea, mixed with a very deep sense of sexual arousal. These two opposing feelings of absolute submission/surrender mixed with sheer panic and fear, brings forth this very acutely awakened sexuality from deep within me. Also my HOH keeps me in anticipation... I never really know if R is taking me into the alleyway to scold me (this happens more frequently) or spank me.

The sensations of an outside spanking add to the fear. Firstly, there is the sensation of the cold breeze against my bare bottom. Secondly, there is the sound of the actual spanking which seems so much louder and resonant when administered outside. This louder spanking extenuates my fear when I can hear people in the distance. Thirdly, there is the dreaded fear of discovery...this really frightens me! Outside spankings make me feel like a naughty 5 year old, they psychologically take me back to a stage in my early childhood which I have suppressed. Repressing traumatic emotions from the early childhood is not healthy since they come out in various negative behaviours. The humiliation resulting from outside spankings manage to permeate into the root cause of many of these problems and alleviate them. I also believe that outside spankings are the absolute crème de la crème of submission. As I am led by my HOH into an alleyway; I know from my misconduct and the look in his eyes what’s about to happen. I know that there is no turning back. I know that I cannot get out of it, that my spanking is definite and imminent. I know beyond a shadow of doubt what is going to take place! Sometimes I feel fear so much, I feel paralysis over take my body...but somehow my legs continue to walk one step after the other, as I’m being led to the place of my spanking.

Although this practise may offend some of my readers, since it is not standard Loving Domestic Discipline in its true form. It really works best for me. My humility is seldom unleashed by R's scolding alone. My HOH finds the scolding element of LDD hard to impliment, since such a notion goes directly against his religious faith and practise. Spanking he finds no problem with, but teasing out my humiliation through "telling me off" via scolding he finds very hard.

I haven’t been spanked outside that often, but I have been warned of such a consequence more frequently. If I misbehave my HOH only has to say in a low voice, “If you carry on like this I will take you to a quiet corner pull down your panties and spank your bare bottom! Do I make myself clear?” Such a warning usually makes me stop in my tracks. I immediately feel a great sense of submission and sexual arousal and deep fear and embarrassment. Such a warning is all that is usually needed to pull my behaviour around.

There are also times when my HOH doesn’t warn me but smacks my hand in public. This time he doesn’t take me down a alleyway, but quickly checks to see if there is no one in the very near vicinity. R then firmly takes hold of my hand and smacks it, usually saying, “naughty girl” whilst he is doing this.

Getting my hand smacked in a public setting is also hugely humiliating. Such an act is not really a punishment but an acute warning of what will happen if my behaviour continues in the same fashion... Getting my hand smacked in a public setting evokes the same deep feelings of sexuality and submission. Although being smacked on the hand (which is a non-erogenous zone) wouldn't normally evoke such a deepened sexual arousal, out of doors all my senses are more heightened. I am so much more aware of my sheer humility as it is ebbed out. I am so much more alert to what I would have to face if I do not take heed in my HOH's warnings...

~C~