Quiet Implements

Dear readers,

The Summer vacation is soon upon us. Many teachers from the USA will almost be ready for a new school term, but teachers here in the UK are only just starting their 6 weeks off!

The problems with having our delightful offspring at home is that there is often very little privacy in terms of maintaining the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. The sounds of being spanked are often all too apparent and very difficult to conceal. Other non-spanking disciplines may have their benefits, but by and large, there is nothing more effective than a thoroughly spanked bottom.

Implements are generally very noisy. You cannot mistake the sound of a leather belt, strap or wooden paddle as the object comes into contact with the bare bottom. Ineffective discipline can leave the woman on edge and frustrated and more likely to misbehave if her Maintenance is not administered effectively. Even a hand spanking can echo and permeate through walls. Some couples who have young children wait until their children are in bed and sleeping soundly before administering/receiving discipline. Other couples with older college/university aged children struggle as their children can turn up at any hour, when least expected!

Quiet Implements are the only safe way to ensure a proper discipline or Maintenance without alerting the rest of the house hold. It is not easy finding a quiet implement, but it is worth shopping around for. The Loopy Johnny is quiet and stingy, it is also small enough to take away on vacation. As an alternative to the Loopy Johnny, Ikea have a wonderfully quiet wooden spoon in their Kitchen section (pictured above). This wooden spoon, unlike most other wooden spoons hardly emits any sound at all and has a "thuddy" effect on the disciplined woman. Sometimes the combination of using both "thud" and "sting" can ensure a more successful punishment.

So why is this particular spoon quieter than another wooden implement such as a paddle or hairbrush?

Although, it is about the same weight as a small paddle its major difference is in its shape - this particular wooden spoon has a very pronounced curve. When using the back of the spoon the rounded shape actually allows the trapped air to escape more gradually, so it creates less noise. After all, sound is just vibrating air, so a paddle gives the familiar thwacking noise because it vibrates a lot of air all at the same time. When the convex part of the spoon hits the bottom, the lower part of the curve hits the bottom before the edges, unlike the paddle. Spanking with the back of a curved hand has the same quietening effect and that is precisely the same weight as a flat hand! This isn't recommended though because the knuckle feels like a punch, but it does demonstrate the principle.

This principle also applies (I think) to the Loopy Johnny compared to a cane. The cross section of all the threads on a Loopy Johnny is approximately the same as a small cane but it is much quieter. I think this is because the strands of the Loopy all arrive at slightly different times compared to a cane, which arrives in a single stroke. The end result (ignoring the swishing sound through the air) is that the Loopy is quieter.

When choosing or making a quiet implement it is necessary to look for something that is either a defined curved shape, made of a dense material, flexible on impact or a combination of these. The aim is to get the desired force to the bottom without a single impact across a wide surface area. The more dense an object the more foreceful the impact for the same area in contact with the skin. The more convex the object, the more the impact is spread over time. The more flexible the object, the more the object deforms on contact, absorbing some of the sound. It is a general misconception that the more dense an object the more solid or rigid it is. Rubber is an excellent example of a flexible material that is very dense indeed.