Sunday, August 12, 2007

Essay - LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1)

There is a great deal of controversy arising against women who adhere to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Some misguided critics genuinely believe that lovingly disciplined women are either abused by their men (by being brainwashed) or are willingly putting themselves forward as doormats. Less intelligent women may be forgiven, or even pitied for living such a lifestyle; judgemental individuals believing that she has been cajoled into an abusive relationship. Intelligent women are, however, difficult to dismiss, but their reasoned arguments outlining the merits of such a lifestyle tend to fall on deaf ears. Intelligent women are often ridiculed as being depraved and psychologically damaged individuals, who get their kicks out of subjecting themselves to discipline by their HOH. Such violent opposition can often make women living the LDD lifestyle very isolated.

It is a very hard job to convince non-LDD women of the many benefits such a lifestyle brings, especially if they have their minds made up on belittling women who engage in it. Men can be just as judgemental, but they don’t usually carry the same malicious remarks that some women carry. Sometimes, a lovingly disciplined woman can find that the male friends she was originally close to, become distant and aloof once she reveals her lifestyle to them. They can often raise their eye brows with astonishment and wonder why a woman of such intelligence would even consider such a way of life! Her female friends too, can shun her because of her chosen lifestyle. Some may even seem supportive, but this can often be a ploy since their intent may be on collecting damaging information, in order to spread nasty rumours about her. Such loss of friends and rejection can wear heavy on a LDD woman. She may even find herself questioning whether the feelings from deep within her are indeed normal and healthy feminine desires.

It actually takes a great deal of intelligence to research into the finer meanings behind LDD. In order to have a good grip on what is happening, both internally (from within the psyche) and externally (the many outer improvements in her behaviour and attitude) the woman would need to be capable of analysing these benefits and experiencing them at close hand. Without detailed analysis and research, she would never be truly convinced. Although much of the finer dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline are instinctual, without intelligence a woman could never adopt a LDD lifestyle. This is because to give her consent it requires both a period of introspection and research. This is so that she can then feel the commitment into a male-led relationship is something that she has freely chosen and had not been coerced into.

The modern world can be both friendless and empty. Some women learn in their early adulthood that it is necessary to protect their femininity under a masculine layer, whilst others want to annihilate their femininity altogether. During the early teens it is suddenly not cool to wear pretty dresses or skirts. Emo, grunge, rapper, punk or rock/biker-chick styles of music and dress, start the process of hardening the vulnerable young woman. Even those of us who have escaped or outgrown the social pressures of youth, are subjected to aimlessly following the social pressures of adulthood. Many women are pressured into following what is considered to be acceptable and even desirable paths to success. Women are taught during their early socialisation to compete against men in very aggressive and dominating ways, so that they can ensure more successful positions at work. Pretty soon women lose complete touch with what it is to be female. They even continue with their masculine personas, whilst they try and compete for absolute control within their home.

The fact that women become hardened emotionally and made to act like men, is a direct result of society. Society destroys every positive aspect of the female psyche. It tries to destroy everything of beauty, innocence and wonder. Femininity is crushed, distorted, ridiculed and damned by the society in which we live. It is, therefore, little wonder why people fail to understand that women in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are not weak or stupid, but have strong, independent characters and intelligent minds.

Loving Domestic Discipline is not trying to recreate the past. It is not interested in returning to the 1950’s where wife discipline was common practise. However, it must be acknowledged that all that was good and wholesome in society, was destroyed as soon as the 1960’s emerged. In many ways society is still recovering from the aftermath of the 60’s. Loving Domestic Discipline focuses onto the very good aspects of the 1950’s and modifies it. An example of such changes carried forward into LDD, is that every relationship must be consensual. Without consent it would otherwise be considered abuse.

A large proportion of women living this lifestyle are professional, well educated women. Many in fact leave their high powered jobs, in order to concentrate their efforts on their homes and families. Any woman living this lifestyle, would need to understand the mechanics of Loving Domestic Discipline to be prepared to go against the societal norms. In fact, it takes a very strong minded woman indeed to stand up for her beliefs and stand against the wave of opposition against her.

Submission is not at all passive. It takes a great deal of self analysis to realise that Loving Domestic Discipline is a natural progression evolving from the inter-play of masculine and feminine energies. It takes a lot of careful introspection to truly realise that such a lifestyle can only bring harmony and a deeper love into a relationship. Women engaging in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would have to be very much in touch with their inner selves. They would need to be in touch with the driving force inside them and (despite social opposition) are confident to listen to their inner needs rather than trying to suppress them.

One of the numerous benefits gained through living a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship is that women automatically become in touch with their inner psyches – they become in touch with what it truly feels like to be female. For so long society has suppressed this natural expression of their femininity, so much so, that when they are finally put in to contact with their womanhood, they tend to find the deep inner peace, trust and wonderment that once surrounded them when they were small children. The one great benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline is that it automatically helps women experience the more gentle side of their femininity. After all, women are naturally submissive and LDD facilitates deeper levels of their submissive tendencies where women find themselves becoming evermore gentle and yielding.

Some people think that LDD is just one of the many versions of BDSM, but this is simply not true. Many BDSM’ers flirt with a darker side. Some may dress up in leather and whip each other with chains. They are attracted to the darkness; it is exciting, exhilarating, titillating and even daring. There is a theatrical element to BDSM, where many players are tied, suspended or placed in cages in dark sinister rooms called dungeons. Loving Domestic Discipline on the other hand, is nothing like this at all. Primarily, LDD is not theatrical and does not use gruesome objects of torture or eerie looking rooms. LDD happens in every day surroundings and the practitioners are attracted to the light not the dark. The fear element is not evoked by the darkness or frightening looking objects; rather the fear emerges from knowing that your behaviour has caused your HOH pain. The actual excitement in LDD is in being good – not bad. By being told that you are a “good girl” by your HOH or by another man in authority sends a shiver of excitement and pleasure through the submissive woman. Every girl wants to be a good at heart, no matter how intelligent or successful she is. Her HOH holds her accountable for her actions, so that if she does slip up, she will be disciplined and placed immediately back in touch with her femininity to being his good, sweet, loving girl once again. Loving Domestic Discipline is very self-contained; there are standards, values and expectations. If rules are broken, then it is through discipline that the woman is quickly brought back to a submissive, contrite, nurturing and feminine state of mind and heart.

Even some of the most intelligent women, find it difficult to talk about the spanking part of their relationship. Their long and lonely struggles, of secretly yearning for such a relationship, will very often have caused them to build strong defences around their vulnerable femininities. Many lovingly disciplined women would rather opt for discussing submission, obedience or respect amongst themselves, or in the presence of other HOH’s. Such behaviour is quite understandable, considering that the wall of defence they had to build, was a result of being told that they ebb outside the social norms. Society has made such women believe that they are abnormal, perverted individuals, with desires akin to fetishes and not natural, normal feminine needs. Even the most confident, successful or intelligent woman would be made to feel real shame for harbouring secret thoughts on desiring to be spanked.
Eventually, however, with the continual and regular implementation of LDD, the woman’s barriers of defence eventually weaken and break. As she comes into contact with her true womanhood she is no longer ashamed, but proud. Once her true femininity is uncovered by LDD she becomes liberated. She becomes liberated from the very core of her femininity, where she exudes with greater confidence and freedom of expression.


At 13.8.07, Blogger Jane said...

Hi C,
Thanks for taking the time to write this essay.
If only there was a way that John would understand this. I suppose it comes back down to me being more submissive. It's such a slow process when one partner is less enthusiastic about DD.

Have a happy week

At 14.8.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi ~C~,

Thank you for this article. As always, you have written a beautiful and moving article. And you are so right. Society today crushes the feminine spirit inside little girls and young women. It certainly did crush the spirit inside me. But LDD teaches us how to regain that spirit. And what a wonderful blessing it is when we do! I can't imagine why any woman would not want to feel such joy in being feminine. I know I could never go back to life without it.

You are truly gifted in your understanding of this lifestyle and your ability to explain it with grace. You are the picture of a gentle, feminine spirit and I thank you for the time and effort you put into your writing.

With Love & Friendship,


At 16.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Jane,

Thank you for your lovely comment.

Please don’t despair even though at times it may seem hopeless. I understand your frustration and do sympathise with you.

The wonderful thing about LDD is that it really doesn’t matter who starts the process of being authoritative (in the case of John) or submissive (in your case). Eventually the person who starts it will tease out the corresponding energies from their mate.

I appreciate that it is a slow process, but if you are pleased with the small changes and compliment John on being every bit the man you want, eventually you should see big results. There is absolutely no rush, you have the rest of your lives together – It will come together eventually, you will see!

All the best,


At 16.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Michelle,

Thank you for your comment and compliments on my post!

You are right when you say that LDD teaches us to regain the spirit that society has crushed. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like without LDD? I remember as a teen rebelling against all that was good, feminine, full of meaning and enclosing myself in a masculine exterior. I am so grateful to Mr Lovingdd for his wisdom and efforts. Without his site I would still be struggling with the dynamics of LDD. R and I may have engaged in a DD lifestyle from the very start of our relationship, but neither of us understood it. We naturally followed it because it was instinctual and seemed the most natural thing to do. However, by not understanding it (and having society condemn it) would at times make us doubt the normality of it all. I have spent too long feeling guilty for wanting LDD. Mr Lovingdd’s site liberated me, now in turn, I hope that my small blog may help other women not to feel alone or ashamed for their natural feminine urges and desires.

Michelle, I am speechless by your compliments – thank you. They mean a great deal to me. But my understanding of this lifestyle is aided by people like you – I have indeed learnt much from you! It is you who are the picture of gentleness, submissiveness and generosity. You care so much for other people, sometimes to the detriment of your own emotions. I admire you deeply and I am grateful for your friendship.



At 17.8.07, Blogger Jane said...

Thanks C,
Over the last week there has been a shift in my relationship with John. In the shower this morning I was thinking (I seem to do a lot of my thinking in the shower) about your essay and what it feels like to be submissive. I have definetly felt that this week and in doing so I have also seen John as dominant. I suppose there can't really be one without the other. And - you're right - There is no hurry. I am still enjoying the process regardless of the speed it takes.

Have a glorious weekend

At 17.8.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love this quote...

"Submission is not at all passive. It takes a great deal of self analysis to realise that Loving Domestic Discipline is a natural progression evolving from the inter-play of masculine and feminine energies."

Very powerful, and very true. Revolutions often start out with the right intentions... but then zealously take things too far. The 60s movement to empower women was a wonderful idea that was very much needed. But, to go so far as to pretend that there is no difference between men and women... certainly did, and does, create some confusion.

Wonderful essay,
Todd & Suzy

would love to hear your thoughts, from a LDD perspective, on our Roundtable this week.

At 18.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Jane,

I am so pleased that there has been a shift in your relationship with John.
Your submission is a very natural womanly instinct and John's natural instinct is to be your leader, guide and protector. The LDD lifestyle takes us back to the very origins and innate instincts of how men and women behave. Men and women are different and have different inbuilt genetic blue prints. To pretend otherwise, or follow a genderless society is damaging to the inner psyche of both men and women.

Have a glorious weekend too!


At 18.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Todd & Suzy,

Thank you for your lovely comment. Your comments are always indepth, which leave me with much to think about...

You are right when you say that the original concept of thought behind the 60's was a good one and that it was taken too far...
True freedom, empowering women can only be achieved by being completely content and aware of or own femininities. Turning against our womanhood by burning our bras and standing shoulder to shoulder with men, doesn't empower women, rather it enslaves her, by suppressing her natural feminine tendencies.

I would love to take part in your roundtable discussions this week. Thank you for inviting me :-)

All my best to you both,



Post a Comment

<< Home