Essay - LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3)
This essay will conclude the trilogy of essays on LDD & the Intelligent Woman. LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1) discussed the damaging effects that society has had on the essence of a woman’s femininity. LDD, Regression & the Intelligent Woman (2) discussed the rediscovery of lost femininity through the inner child which facilitated a new sexual awareness of femininity through the inner slut. In this essay, LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3) we will discuss the effects of Loving Domestic Discipline on the independent woman. The disciplinary effects both in relationship to the inner child and inner slut will be examined. It must be pointed out, however, that this essay is examining the opposite ends of both poles. The extremities on either side of the spectrum will probably not appeal to most Loving Domestic Discipline practitioners. I would imagine that most people’s version of the LDD lifestyle, falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Statistically speaking, it would seem probable that the practitioners of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, would fall close to the median. Whether it would resemble a bell shaped (Gaussian distribution) with the distribution falling more in the middle, or skewed to one side (of either the inner child or inner slut) is hard to say without research. Because of the sexually explicit content in relation to disciplining the woman’s inner slut, some readers may find the content deeply offensive. It will, therefore, be necessary to discuss the benefits, without going into any graphic descriptions or intimate details of such discipline.
The more intelligent, academic or independent a woman is, the more she will have built a wall of defence around her femininity. Both highly independent and academic women strive to achieve and make their mark on the world. As they strive to leave their mark, they usually find themselves in a world where it is essential to put on a tougher outer appearance in order to become successful. This pseudo masculine mask eclipses all traces of their true feminine selves. Society has duped them into thinking that being feminine is somehow weak, girly and frivolous; therefore, to successfully compete with their rivals, they must foil their true natures under a tougher masculine persona. One extreme example of such a woman is Margaret Thatcher (ex Prime minister to the British Conservative Party.) It is quite interesting to watch her transformation whilst she was first appointed into office, to her later years. From a fairly feminine woman with a soft voice, she emerged into a woman people would fear, even her voice dropped to be husky and hoarse like a man’s. It is no surprise, therefore, that intelligent and independent women are more difficult to discipline. The more defence she builds around her femininity the more difficult the task in knocking down the defences to discipline her. HOH’s will find it hard to break down these defences and reach her softer feminine core. She will need stronger techniques to break down her will, which is preventing her from gaining the access to the discipline she so richly needs and deserves.
So what is a successful discipline?
A successful discipline basically, is designed to break down the woman’s will and break down her emotional barriers. This can only be achieved by using methods designed to increase her humiliation. Although humiliation is not much talked about in the LDD community, it is possibly the most central and integral part of the Loving Domestic Disciplinary process. Without adequate humiliation, the woman will never be able to reach her optimum level as a truly submissive and obedient woman. When a woman is more intelligent, independent and assertive, the need for adequate humiliation increases dramatically. This is because women have enshrouded their femininities and built a wall of defence around them. The wall of defence displaces a woman’s natural feminine tendencies, which results in women having an increased ego and arrogance. The increased ego and arrogance can only be accessed and dispelled via humiliation. The humbling effects of humiliation will serve the purpose of bringing the woman to a calmer and submissive state of mind and heart, by doing so she will become more receptive to the guidance and correction from her HOH.
Many women living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are somehow turned off by the word “humiliation.” Some women will vehemently deny the importance of humiliation and claim that it is not at all relevant to them. Humiliation is, however, necessary since it facilitates the disciplinary process. This in turn facilitates the learning process, which helps the woman achieve the optimum state in her humility and submission. Without effective humiliation she will never learn the lessons which she needs to be taught. Loving Domestic Discipline is not solely about humiliation for the sake of it, the HOH doesn’t humiliate his woman to make her feel bad or worthless; he humiliates her because it renders her more submissive. Humiliation is a necessary contingent of the disciplinary process since it results in a successful discipline.
The concept of the inner child and inner slut are often misunderstood, but they are also central to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Having an inner child is not the same as being or behaving like a child; likewise, having an inner slut is not the same as being or behaving like a slut. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel many of the feelings she felt as a child, but still remain a conscious intelligent adult woman. Likewise, Loving Domestic Discipline facilitates the emergence of the woman’s slut instincts. Her inner child is the place where she wants to feel safe, nurtured and protected by her man. It is here where she submits herself freely to the guidance, leadership and correction of her HOH. Her inner slut is the place which is the central expression of her sexuality. It is here where she wants to surrender herself sexually to her HOH. Some women are afraid to release their slut instincts of fear that it may overwhelm them. But it is in the inner slut where the woman’s creations of her sexuality and ultimate feminine energies emerge.
Discipline incorporates the needs of both the inner child and inner slut, it is a dynamic relationship. There will be certain times or misdemeanours which require attention to one or both of these areas. But how does the HOH balance the demands of the inner slut and inner child with discipline? When does he know which is required?
A skilled and wise HOH will be very much in tune with his woman’s emotions. He will instinctively know what area of demand needs to be met to get the best possible results. The following paragraphs will discuss the extremities at both ends of the spectrum. An important reminder, however, is that standard LDD techniques tend to find themselves concentrated in the middle, or erring a little to one side or the other (incorporating and blending the disciplines corresponding to both the inner child and inner slut.) It is unusual (but not impossible) for practitioners to only concentrate efforts on one end of the spectrum, i.e. solely on the inner child or inner slut.
Humiliating the inner child
When humiliating the inner child it is essential to psychologically bring the woman down to a child-like state. Once the woman is in a child-like state, emotionally speaking, she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures. Such procedures are generally aimed at disciplining young children. Both standard LDD and advanced techniques can be used to great effect. The added bonus with using ALDD techniques is that the advanced nature of the disciplines has a much more profound and humiliating effect. If the woman’s HOH finds the LDD methods not significantly humiliating, then he would be best advised to try the advanced disciplinary methods. Advanced LDD techniques correspond to the needs of both the inner child and inner slut.
Humiliation through scolding is essential to break through the adult woman’s defences and tap into her inner child before her punishment. Phrases like “You bad, bad girl, having a tantrum like that!” “You naughty girl” “Come here young lady!” “If you are going to act like a two year old then you will be treated as one!” “You bring your naughty bottom to me for a spanking now!!” Or more emotive/ disappointed type scolding, “Where has my good little girl gone?”
Sometimes the HOH will sit her firmly on his knee to scold her. He will use a condescending tone used for small children so that she can effectively feel that she is in a vulnerable child-like state, thus, feel his “adult” authority over her. Young children do not tend to have much of an attention span; therefore, by holding her chin throughout her telling off, forces her to have direct eye contact with her HOH, this triggers her inner child instincts which serves her in her humiliation.
Corner time is very humiliating and child-like. Being made to stand in the corner with her nose directly touching the wall is humiliating. Corner time type of punishments can also be highly effective if used in a more public area. For example, if she misbehaves in a crowded supermarket her HOH could quietly stand her in a corner of the supermarket for a short period of time. Any passers-by would just think she is taking a long time to assess the quality of the tomatoes! This is effective, however, since no one but the woman and HOH know that she is being disciplined. The crowded public space adds wonders to her increased humiliation.
Bed time as a punishment can be very humiliating, especially if it is early enough (daylight outside) and she is put to bed for the night. Her humiliation will naturally increase if she is put to bed before her own children’s normal bed time. Naturally, her children need not know the reasons for her going to bed before they do. They can just be told that “Mummy isn’t feeling too well,” which (with a freshly spanked bottom) wouldn’t really be too far from the truth! In order to properly access the inner child it is essential for her HOH to actually put her to bed rather than send her to bed. If he undresses her, gets her ready for bed and supervises her going to the toilet and bathing/ brushing her teeth, this will increase her humiliation.
Naturally, combining non-spanking disciplines with a soundly spanked bottom can do wonders to increase the woman’s levels of humiliation and improve the effectiveness of the discipline.
When positioning the woman for an inner child spanking it is important to use positions generally aimed at naughty children. OTK (over the knee) is very important it feels personally connected, vulnerable and child like. Alternatives to this are being spanked in the nappy changing position. Such a position can be deeply humiliating since it exposes a woman’s private parts. This position may trigger feelings of helplessness as experienced by very young children having their nappy changed. Or (depending on her weight and size) being tucked under her HOH’s arm and being spanked standing up. If she is really small in comparison to her HOH and her HOH is strong enough, she can also be hoisted off the floor in such a position. All the HOH has to do is firmly grip hold around the back of her waist and lift her, so that her bottom is parallel with the rest of her body. One of the major benefits of such a punishment is that the elevation and feeling of suspension dramatically adds to the woman’s vulnerability of size compared to her HOH’s. This then adds to the woman’s increased humiliation which has directly accessed her inner child.
Having her panties slowly and firmly pulled down by her HOH, before her spanking, is both humbling and humiliating. Likewise, having her panties pulled back up after her spanking and having her clothes tucked back into her jeans, whilst she is firmly reminded to behave, also adds significantly to the humiliation process. If she is wearing a dress or skirt, it would be more humiliating for the woman if her HOH were to bare her bottom after she has been placed over his knee - simply because it keeps the woman in suspense. Although deep down she knows that each and every spanking is indeed on her bare bottom, allowing for anticipation is very important. Once in a vulnerable position over the knee, the sensation of having her dress or skirt lifted and panties pulled down to her knees or beyond, is very humiliating. If the woman is wearing trousers or jeans, then naturally her HOH will have to pull down her jeans and panties whilst she stands in front him, prior to being placed over the knee. Whilst her HOH is undressing her, he should force eye contact with her and look at her sternly and reprimand her, prior to her spanking.
Such a simple action, such as pulling down a naughty woman’s panties and back up after punishment is very effective. Many women actually find that this very simple act greatly increases their humiliation. Sometimes even the most simplest action can increase a woman's humiliation which help trigger memories of their childhood, thus access her inner child.
Spanking with the hand is very important. The personal connection in a hand spanking is crucial for the inner child, the sense of touch is essential. The HOH is taking the woman back to what it felt like to be disciplined as a small child. He is taking her back to what it feels like to be a little girl again. Being reassured like a little girl by having her hand held through out her spanking, plus comforting her using a soft tone of voice, as if to reassure a terrified child, are all important elements of triggering the emotions inside her inner child.
The actual severity of the spanking is not really the issue here. An inner child spanking is more to do with accessing deep rooted emotions which helps the woman reconnect with her feminine psyche at a much deeper and profound level. A spanking of medium force which goes on for about an hour or more is ideal for tapping into the emotions of the inner child.
If the woman finds it difficult to cry then sometimes connecting with past childhood artefacts such as a teddy can release immediate tears. Just the sight and smell of her teddy can immediately remind her of her childhood. Some women find that taking their teddy with them over their HOH’s knee will induce the onset of tears fairly rapidly. It is amazing how powerful the senses can be. The sense of smell (of smelling that old familiar smell associated with her childhood) can regress the woman right back into feeling some of those powerful emotions she once felt as a child. This is also why a number of women feel that a loud spanking is more effective than a quiet one. In this case the sense of sound (hearing her actual spanking) can instil a greater fear into her, as opposed to an implement which doesn’t emit much sound at all.
Usually after punishing the woman via her inner child, she will feel very emotional and vulnerable. Sufficient aftercare is essential. Even if the spanking wasn’t very hard or severe, emotionally the woman may have been taken to a very frightening place. Some women may have built very strong defences around their femininities; this may have been the first time that they felt connection with their inner child and rediscovered their femininity. If the woman cries for the first time this is a great bonus. Crying after an inner child spanking can render the woman very fragile and clingy to her HOH. She may need to cling to him and cry for a long time. During this time her HOH can hold her, caress her and lovingly reassure her. Whilst being lovingly held on his lap he can wrap her up in a blanket and continue holding her until she falls asleep in his arms.
Humiliating the inner slut
When humiliating the Inner slut it is essential to tap into the foundation of the woman’s sexuality. It is here where her slut instincts and adult femininity originate. Releasing the woman’s inner slut instincts bring a woman in touch with her true femininity and sexual submission. Once the woman is connected with her slut instincts she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures which are highly sexual in nature. Generally, overly sexualising a punishment is not recommended. This is because any lesson that the HOH is trying to communicate to his woman will be lost in the sexual frenzy of their lovemaking. However, giving the woman overtly sexual punishments which act as a discipline, i.e. are sufficiently unpleasant to teach the woman a lesson, are perfectly fine. As long as the woman isn’t readily enjoying her discipline, then it is the HOH’s right as the one who has sole authority over her to derive sexual gratification himself. It is the overtly sexual types of discipline that tease out the very feminine slut urges from the woman.
The submissive innate slut instincts of the woman are awoken whenever a man and his woman make love. They are awoken in every couple world wide, regardless of whether the couple are engaged in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. So in many ways it seems most normal and natural to humiliate and punish the woman’s most central origin of who she is in relation to her HOH. Sexual humiliation can generally have a more profound disciplinary effect and outcome. The woman can feel more humbled, submissive and feminine as her weaker feminine energies touch forces with her HOH’s stronger and more powerful ones.
When scolding the inner slut, it is essential to use words and phrases designed to humiliate the woman and bring her in touch with her slut urges and instincts. It is important to remember, however, that humiliation is not the same as being offensive or abusive to the woman – it is after all a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship they are engaged in. The HOH is not simply being mean to his woman, but is using such phrases as a useful disciplinary tool to try and break through her will. A humiliating scolding can be extremely effective. If the right words and phrases are used the woman will be more receptive to the discipline he is about to administer. Generally, women vary with their responses to certain words or phrases. For example, using the word “slut” wouldn’t be at all effective on those women who are bitterly offended at such a word. Nor would it be effective on women who have no strong reaction to such a word whatsoever. It will only really be effective to those women who feel greatly humiliated by it. It is, therefore, something that the HOH will have to determine for himself. The HOH knows his woman and knows her weak spots and tolerance threshold, so he should know which words would increase her humiliation and which to best avoid. Verbally humiliating his woman is generally very effective since it gets to the very heart of her sexuality and instantly reminds her of her place in relation to her HOH.
There are many non-spanking disciplines which tap directly into a woman’s inner slut. Whether it is increased chores or Obedience Training (ALDD book) the actual humiliation would be heightened if the woman were to be kept nude during the entire time it took to complete her tasks. The fact that she has no clothes immediately places her in a very vulnerable position. This then facilitates her femininity, humiliation and submission. Other non-spanking disciplines which have been proven to have a rapid acceleration in improving a woman’s obedience, submission and humiliation are all found in the ALDD book. In fact most of the techniques in the ALDD book are non-spanking quiet techniques which can prove very effective if the couple have children or friends/family staying.
Another form of non-spanking discipline which is very effective is Tearful Felatio (ALDD book.) This type of discipline (also known in a less sexual guise as the “formal thank you”) is an incredibly poignant way of reconnecting with the HOH after discipline. Many women who have been thoroughly punished by their HOH automatically drop to their knees in a bid to thank and orally reconnect with their man.
The ideal positions for disciplining the inner slut are overtly sexual ones. The more exposure to the woman’s delicate private area, the more vulnerable, exposed and humiliated she feels. Positions which allow such exposure are generally those where the woman is bending over with her legs slightly apart. This can be done by bending down and grasping the ankles or bending over a desk or other low surface. The added advantage to such a position (in punitive terms) is the delicate area is now in full readiness to be spanked by the belt, or some other soft implement which increases the pain and humiliation of her spanking.
Ideally it is best for the woman to be entirely nude for the duration of her inner slut punishments. If she is told by her HOH to strip she must obediently do so. Stripping in front of her stern HOH can render the woman very submissive. She knows that she is not putting on some erotic show by stripping in front of him. Rather she is stripping off her clothes in preparation for her punishment.
An inner slut spanking generally involves a lot of pain to overwhelm the emotional barriers. Tearing down her defensive wall is going against very strong survival instincts. Once the defensive barriers are broken, the woman feels a certain calm transcend over her, it is here where she comes face to face with her femininity and submission. In her calm and contrite state of mind she welcomes the pain as a gift from her man, a gift directly emanating from his sexual authority. This precious gift which he bestows, opens up the very centre of her inner sexual self. It is here where she radiates and blossoms in the essence of her true feminine expressions, of who she is, in relation to her man. It is here where she discovers the hidden depths of her sexuality and submission. She welcomes the pain as an integral part of who she truly is, a crying submissive woman surrendering her feminine energies to her man’s masculine ones. She welcomes the pain since it is caused by her man. Caused by the man she loves, respects and obeys. Given freely from the man who truly loves her, she surrenders herself to the pain which is derived from the very core of his sexual manhood. The pain or humiliation of her punishment puts her directly in touch with her inner slut instincts. Some punishments are more focused on humiliation rather than pain which can have an even greater and more profound emotional effect. The tears, sexual submission and humiliation bind the masculine and feminine energies closer than standard Loving Domestic Discipline. This is because the overtly sexual natures of the discipline, coupled with the overtly humiliating punishments are directly derived from the HOH’s sexual masculine centre. It is this which Drills down to the very epitome of the woman’s inner sexuality and slut instincts. It is this that truly renders her as the missing component of their sexual unity - the missing piece of the jigsaw and corresponding female energy.
Tears before, during and after punishment are not simply a gift but are the greatest gift a submissive woman can give to her man. Cathartic tears are an outward sign which prove to her man without a doubt, that she has entered the depths of her submission. They show her complete willingness to surrender herself to his guidance and correction. Tears not only show her man that his job in disciplining her has been effective, but it reinforces his masculine authority over her. It supports and values his role as the one who has sole authority over her. There is no sight or sound sweeter to an HOH than to see and hear the sight and sound of his woman crying during the punishment process. There is no song more beautiful than a woman crying in full humiliation, when her HOH knows that her tears are the direct cause of his sexual punishment and masculine authority.
Once a fully fledged inner slut punishment is over, aftercare is crucial. The woman will have been stripped of all her dignity, therefore, it is essential for her HOH to build her up again. Building her up will consist of verbal reassurance and praise for her remakable femininity and submission. Some of the techniques used by HOHs to punish a woman’s inner slut can render her very vulnerable. Usually such punishments have taken the woman to a very scary place, it is therefore imperative that she be allowed to cry and cling to her HOH for as long as she needs. Some couples make gentle love after such discipline, whilst others like to leave a sufficient gap after a punishment to cement the lesson her HOH wants her to learn.
Although ALDD/LDD is a dynamic relationship where the interrelationship between both the inner child and inner slut liaise together, this essay has only examined the extremities of each and explored the disciplines in relation to each in an isolated way. It is up to every individual HOH to determine the correct balance at any point in time. There is little point continuing with more standard LDD practises if they are not working. Although it is good for the HOH to be patient with his woman and wait for the results of her impending good behaviour, there are some women who make slow or little progress with the standard LDD techniques. Such women should seriously consider the benefits from advanced LDD which answer the needs to both the inner child and inner slut.
Humiliation is essential during punishment since it opens a woman mind and heart which helps her to focus on her punishment. Without adequate humiliation the woman will never be receptive to her discipline.
Inner child disciplines are covertly sexual in nature. These punishments are designed to allow the woman to connect with her inner child where she feels greater degrees of warmth, trust wonder and safety. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel some of these feelings, whilst surrendering her feminine energies to the authority of her HOH.
Inner slut disciplines are overtly sexual in nature. The strong sexual element is used as part of the discipline so that the woman is punished and humiliated in a way that gives her no delusions as to who has sexual authority over her. Sometimes more advanced sexual humiliation is needed to break through a woman’s pride, stubbornness and arrogance.