Thursday, October 11, 2007

Unkind Comments

Although negative comments are extremely rare, there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly hurt when people do attack the LDD lifestyle. I have tried to step back and analize why I am affected so much? I think that the answer (for me at least) is very simple. LDD is a fundamental part of me and expresses who I am as a woman at a very deep level; therefore, to attack LDD is a blatant discrimination of me, of who I am. When I first came into the blogging world, I came with a defence built around me, protecting my femininity. If anyone were to attack the LDD lifestyle back then, I would have attacked back with the same ferocity. However, belonging to a community has gradually allowed me to cast off my layers of defence. It has made me accept, understand and truly value who I am. But, coming out of my shell has unfortunately left me vulnerable to being hurt when (in the rare times) attack does come my way.

I have never really been overly comfortable calling LDD a “lifestyle,” I only do so since this is how it is often referred to. Living in a LDD relationship is instinctual. A lifestyle implies that there is an element of choice of whether you follow the criteria set up, or choose to ignore it. LDD is not a lifestyle choice (for me at least) since it is a necessary component which answers that which is deeply embedded and woven into the fabric of who I am. I cannot disengage from it; I have no choice but to live and breathe it. Any attack on LDD, therefore, is a personal attack on my womanhood.

Perhaps people do not realise the hurt that thoughtless comments can make? After all, an attack on someone who may be in the BDSM community or is a Spanko, perhaps wouldn’t cut as deep? This is because people choose to follow their particular kinks by engaging in BDSM or fun type of spankings because they want to. They have a choice in the matter, once they get bored they move onto new horizons – fetishes can and do change. I, on the other hand, do not have a choice; the implementation of LDD is an integral part of me as a woman. LDD is naturally consensual, so in that respect (at least at the very beginning of the relationship) a choice needs to be made. However, as time progresses, many women feel that LDD becomes a necessary expression of their femininities. It becomes a necessity (rather than choice) since it enables them to express the very depths of their femininity and submission - the epitome of who they are as women.

Even during day to day engagements with her HOH, a woman can feel immersed in his masculine energy. Even the most subtle “covertly” sexual responses from him, make her feel the inner stirrings from deep within her womanhood. It doesn’t even have to be directly sexual, just the sound of his voice, his movements, the sight of his belt or his very presence can instil inordinate amounts of respect and submission in the woman. Some critics of LDD may disagree and question whether submission has anything to do with femininity. I believe (from personal experience)that submission brings a woman deeply in touch with her inner psyche, where she becomes aware of her true expressions of self; her realization of what it is to be a true woman; her awareness of her sexual femininity and inner slut instincts.

I have spent too many years of my life feeling guilty and apologising for my innate desires to express my submission and surrender myself to the influence of a powerful man. But now, I refuse to feel guilty for my natural instincts and urges. After all, why should I when they are completely normal and inborn? I do accept that there may be people who do not understand LDD, which is quite understandable. There are many things that I do not profess to understand. But in not understanding something, I would never feel myself worthy to judge, condemn or criticise.


At 11.10.07, Blogger AKB said...

Very Well Said ~C~ You have an amazing gift with your words.

At 11.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear akb,

Thank you. You have an amazing gift with your words too!

All my best to you,


At 11.10.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be upset by the unkind comments of others. Rise above it.

If LDD works for you then have the faith in your own convictions.

At 11.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Thank you D, I do try to rise above it. Lately I've been inundated with negative mail and comments.

All the best,


At 12.10.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are just starting out with LDD...a bumpy road at best....and your writing has made it much, to counteract the negative comments, my thanks.

At 13.10.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bleh... we get an occasional negative comment too. Even an Email now and again. We always wonder what the motivation is. Can't be that the stone thrower actually believes their words will change who we are. Our guess is, it makes the person feel better about themselves.

If these people took the time to read your well thought out views on LDD, they'd have at least a basic understanding. Our guess... they don't even bother.

Don't let 'em get you down!

~Todd & Suzy

At 14.10.07, Anonymous Kate said...

Dear C,
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your post. I have been in New Guinea on business for the past week and only just got back to Brisbane.
You were right about the age regression thing it became a farce.
My HOH commuted my punishment to 12 hard spanks on my bare bottom with the paddle and 1 hour corner time. I think that was fair don't you?
I will post you more tomorrow.
Kind regards,

At 15.10.07, Anonymous Loving sub said...

Have you any limits in your relationship with your dom.
Loving sub

At 15.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your encouraging comment. I do appreciate your support.:-)

Good luck in your LDD journey!

All my best,


At 15.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Todd & Suzy,

Thank you so much for your support and friendship. I don't usually allow small things such as this to get me down. And when they do it is only for an hour or pensive mood has passed, honestly!:-)

Sorry about the delay in responding to you. I've been away to NYC for the weekend and have only just got back. I have literally had no sleep at all (apart from in the plane back) so I am less than compos mentis at the moment!

I hope you are both well,


At 15.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Kate,

Please don’t worry about responding, I’ve been pretty busy myself…

Age regression is not a farce, Kate. What I was trying to say is that there is often a very fine dividing line between being sexually aroused by various punishments and not finding much (if any) sexual gratification in the punishment at all. Being overly sexually aroused is absolutely fine in an “erotic” sense. Your role play of the school room is absolutely fine as sexual foreplay. The only reason it is not really classified as LDD is that for discipline to really take effect there has to be an element of dread, of really not enjoying the discipline. The punishment must be sufficiently unpleasant for the woman to learn her lesson. The woman will find that with such a punishment she will reach deeper into her submission than she ever thought possible.

Wow, I didn’t know you were from Australia! Many of my school friends were from down under. I always thought God created the perfect paradise when he created Australia – all that sand, sea, surf, barbe’s and incredibly friendly people! In fact I even tried to emigrate, but unfortunately plans fell through. :-(

All the best to you,


At 15.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear loving sub,

Once women start talking about "limits" they cannot be engaging in a truly submissive relationship, can they? I am sure that whatever discipline HOHs give their women, they do so because they both know and love them very deeply and intimately. The HOH knows which punishment will be effective so that she can learn her lesson and move forward as a woman. The woman knows she is safe in the hands of the man who loves her more than anyone else in the world.

All the best,


At 16.10.07, Blogger Constance said...

Dear C.,
You are in a consensual relationship that makes you and your HOH happy. You aren't hurting anyone, you aren't forcing anyone to live as you do or believe what you do. I don't recall having ever heard you say that this type of relationship is right for everyone...on the contrary...and I don't believe you think anyone who chooses something different is wrong. You write about your beliefs and experiences, and that's valuable to those of us who are following a similar path, but no one is obligated to read your blog. As I see it, anyone who goes to the trouble to read what you write and then send you unkind comments or emails clearly has nothing better to do. Do your best to ignore it, C.
Best of luck,

At 16.10.07, Anonymous Kate said...

Dear C,
I feel that our relationship would not have reached the level it has if there had been any limits in place.
I have re-read your blog from the beginning and your bare bottom does not appear to have felt the sting of the cane. My HOH says after a caning (he never gives me more than six) I am always more obedient, submissive, focused and happier.
Kind regards

At 16.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Constance,

Thank you for your care and support, I do appreciate it!

I was just having a "blue" moment. I have had my fair share of negative comments/emails over these past 2 years and usually just brush them off. It's when a few come together it can be a bit upsetting. As soon as I published the post my mood was jovial again. I don't usually let such trivial things get me down :-)

All my best to you and thank you.


At 17.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Dear Kate,

Unfortunately, my bottom has indeed felt the sting of the cane, on more than one occasion! :-( I wrote about the event in an earlier post...

The cane, if used correctly is a very powerful implement and you are right that it evokes an inordinate amount of respect and fear in the woman. However, the cane should only be used for the most serious of offences. The last time I was caned was about 18 months ago, so as you can see, it is not an implement which is used for regular punishments.

It must be remembered that the cane is more effective if it is used with another implement. receiving "six of the best" can bring a woman to tears too quickly. These tears are often tears of having a sore bottom, or the shock of the intensity of the spanking, rather than genuine tears of contrition, ie, cathartic tears.

For very serious offences my caning will either be incorporated into my fully fledged punishment spanking or I will be caned separately and immediately after being caught in the act of "severe" misbehaviour. Being caned straight after my offence is very effectual, since it acts like a short, sharp mini punishment, before I receive my longer and steadier punishment spanking at a later time.

All my very best to you,


At 17.10.07, Anonymous David said...

It is very interesting what you said about the use of the cane.
My wife and I are novices and only started on the d/s road when we got married.
I give my wife the option when she misbehaves and needs correction. She can take the correction at once with the correction being administered with the hand, board of education-a kind of paddle- or strap. Or she can choose to have a demerit point. When they total 10 she is given 7 strokes of the cane on her bare buttocks. She always chooses the demerit point. Even though she says the pain is excruciating and her buttocks are sore for days, she says she finds it very cleansing and once the pain subsides she feels wonderful.
She is normally to distressed to thank me after her caning or give me oral relief-that comes later. I normally put her in the corner to settle down and tell her to think about each stroke and why she has been corrected. I can see her buttocks twitch as she thinks about each stroke.
Your web site is a wonderful resource for us.
Thank you, thank you.

At 17.10.07, Blogger Paolo Macca said...

Thinking of you Miss C.
Take care.

At 17.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello David,

Congratulations on choosing to live this wonderful lifestyle and for your recent marriage!

Thank you for sharing your disciplinary techniques with us. Your disciplinary methods and use of the cane certainly seem to be working!

Some HOHs are opposed to the use of the cane, wrongly assuming that it is an outlandishly brutal and cruel implement. However, being from the UK and having endured one or two canings from school, I believe that nothing could be further from the truth. Lupus and other pornographic images have done much damage in wrongly portraying the cane. You will probably realise yourself, that those torturous images of welted bottoms, are really quite impossible to achieve with even the most severe of canings!

The cane is really very safe, simple and effective as long as it is implemented with care, attention and used infrequently – for the most severe offences only. HOHs will need to practise before its application to ensure that it is applied properly.

There are many different techniques in applying the cane safely. Some HOHs prefer to strike the middle of the bottom first and then use this first mark to aim as close to it as possible on either side of the mark. Others will start relatively high/low and continue striking in an upward/downward fashion. The important thing to avoid, is striking the same spot twice by overlapping. This is because injury of severe welting, bruising and broken skin can occur. For many new or inexperienced HOHs the best mode of practice is to drape a wet towel over the woman’s bottom. This will give the woman the full effect of a painful caning without worrying about safety. The added bonus is that the HOH gets a chance to practise during a real punishment session until his marksmanship improves.

The cane is so much safer than a switch, for example, since it is actually designed for the purpose it is intended for. It has been designed with a certain balance, weight and length. The switch, on the other hand, may have a hidden knot which is not apparent until the woman receives undue bruising or broken skin. I am not in anyway against the use of the switch or birch bundle and think that the added humiliation of instructing the woman to cut it as part of her punishment can be profound. However, I do think that where safely and hygiene are concerned, it is probably more advisable to use an implement which had been carefully designed for the purpose, than one which is not.

Thank you for your considered comment and kind remarks about my blog. :-)

All my very best to you,


At 17.10.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

You take care too Paolo! I am glad you are back blogging again!


At 16.6.08, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to comment that I agree with not only your whole article but also specifically with these three things:
1. I don't think it should be classified as a "lifestyle" either.
2. I don't feel a choice either, it is who I am.
3. It is very much about femininity!
Thanks so much for allowing your blog to be read by people like me: out here feeling alone in my feelings and urges to completely submit to my husband. I have endured unkind comments, but that was before I learned to keep my mouth shut with non-LDD friends!
Thanks so much for your wisdom,

At 16.11.09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For women of faith it would be an interesting study to look at women like Abigail, Esther and Ruth in the bible. All were women who took pains to approach the men in their life with incredible courage and thought. Esther's husband had his previous wife most likely killed for not coming to his banquet. She asked him to eat with her twice before telling him that she disagreed with his previous decision to anialate the Jews by wicked Haman. Esther's husband historically had a huge ego. Abigail's husband was a drunk and foolish narcissist. David was a wise man who Abigail advised to let the Lord be his defender so she obviously had to study him. Ruth went in the night to implore Boaz to be her covering which was again a bold move. The woman in Proverbs 31 had a husband who trusts in her all the days of his life so obviously he has her heart and trusts her wisdom and needs to know her thoughts even when he is in the wrong. It's all in the attitude and the approach..


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