Although negative comments are extremely rare, there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly hurt when people do attack the LDD lifestyle. I have tried to step back and analize why I am affected so much? I think that the answer (for me at least) is very simple. LDD is a fundamental part of me and expresses who I am as a woman at a very deep level; therefore, to attack LDD is a blatant discrimination of me, of who I am. When I first came into the blogging world, I came with a defence built around me, protecting my femininity. If anyone were to attack the LDD lifestyle back then, I would have attacked back with the same ferocity. However, belonging to a community has gradually allowed me to cast off my layers of defence. It has made me accept, understand and truly value who I am. But, coming out of my shell has unfortunately left me vulnerable to being hurt when (in the rare times) attack does come my way.
I have never really been overly comfortable calling LDD a “lifestyle,” I only do so since this is how it is often referred to. Living in a LDD relationship is instinctual. A lifestyle implies that there is an element of choice of whether you follow the criteria set up, or choose to ignore it. LDD is not a lifestyle choice (for me at least) since it is a necessary component which answers that which is deeply embedded and woven into the fabric of who I am. I cannot disengage from it; I have no choice but to live and breathe it. Any attack on LDD, therefore, is a personal attack on my womanhood.
Perhaps people do not realise the hurt that thoughtless comments can make? After all, an attack on someone who may be in the BDSM community or is a Spanko, perhaps wouldn’t cut as deep? This is because people choose to follow their particular kinks by engaging in BDSM or fun type of spankings because they want to. They have a choice in the matter, once they get bored they move onto new horizons – fetishes can and do change. I, on the other hand, do not have a choice; the implementation of LDD is an integral part of me as a woman. LDD is naturally consensual, so in that respect (at least at the very beginning of the relationship) a choice needs to be made. However, as time progresses, many women feel that LDD becomes a necessary expression of their femininities. It becomes a necessity (rather than choice) since it enables them to express the very depths of their femininity and submission - the epitome of who they are as women.
Even during day to day engagements with her HOH, a woman can feel immersed in his masculine energy. Even the most subtle “covertly” sexual responses from him, make her feel the inner stirrings from deep within her womanhood. It doesn’t even have to be directly sexual, just the sound of his voice, his movements, the sight of his belt or his very presence can instil inordinate amounts of respect and submission in the woman. Some critics of LDD may disagree and question whether submission has anything to do with femininity. I believe (from personal experience)that submission brings a woman deeply in touch with her inner psyche, where she becomes aware of her true expressions of self; her realization of what it is to be a true woman; her awareness of her sexual femininity and inner slut instincts.
I have spent too many years of my life feeling guilty and apologising for my innate desires to express my submission and surrender myself to the influence of a powerful man. But now, I refuse to feel guilty for my natural instincts and urges. After all, why should I when they are completely normal and inborn? I do accept that there may be people who do not understand LDD, which is quite understandable. There are many things that I do not profess to understand. But in not understanding something, I would never feel myself worthy to judge, condemn or criticise.