Friday, June 23, 2006

An Essay: LDD - On Femininity and Submissive Awareness

In order to examine this title, within the context of Loving Domestic Discipline, we need to explore reasons why people often become visibly offended at the suggestion that LDD does unlock the very core of femininity? Feminist issues will also be discussed in terms of masculine and feminine energies and whether “pseudo” feminist ideals are damaging the diversity between the interplay of these energies. Femininity will then be explored as an awareness of self, which can only become apparent when merged with the opposite polar energies. Finally, femininity and submission will be considered within non disciplinary relationships and also their efficacy after the judicious application of LDD.

Natural vs. Normal

Loving Domestic Discipline is natural but it is not normal. If we compare this to other practises like, men spanking men, women spanking men, or some BDSM practises, we would find the reverse true - practises such as these are generally considered normal, but unnatural. In fact, any spanking coupled with sex and pornography is classed as normal. But, if we consider the practise of obedience and respect, it is not considered normal at all. Although it is instinctual for a woman to want to respect and obey her man as a natural expression of her femininity, submission and love, it is considered very abnormal indeed!

Loving Domestic Discipline is natural since it is an innate instinct. Countless couples have practised Domestic Discipline since the dawn of human civilisation. LDD is not normal, however (in the Western World) because normality is a constrained set of rules governed by society. Homosexuality, for example, is normal – society has now accepted it, but it will never be natural. It goes against nature and the natural order – it goes against Darwin’s theory of evolution. Two men or two women will never be able to procreate, the human species are not hermaphrodite like snails or other molluscs.

Normality, however, is transient and always in a state of change. What is deemed normal now wasn’t deemed normal 50 years ago and vice-versa. Natural aspects are not transient, they are unchangeable. The natural expressions in Loving Domestic Discipline are consistent, timeless and constant.

When considering Loving Domestic Discipline as a lifestyle, the beauty of it is its versatility. As a practise, LDD lends itself to being easily adapted into different genres and lifestyles. It is ironic, however, that LDD is possibly the most discriminated group by western cultures. Societal demands putting pressure to keep the natural innate masculine/feminine instincts at bay. Natural tendencies for being able to instinctually awaken to this kind of lifestyle being deeply repressed, often from early childhood.

One of the most fundamental reasons Loving Domestic Discipline is discriminated against is due to its shady past. Historically, Domestic Discipline was considered both normal and natural, however, there were major problems resulting from this practice. Since consent was never considered an option, women had no choice in the matter. This lack of choice resulted in the men’s misuse of power in many cases, which rendered many women non-submissive. Since submission and authority are synergistic processes, both working together in unison, reversing it is also true. Non-submissive, defiant misbehaviour will often lead to a feeling of loss of leadership and loss of masculinity in her man. The weaker man, who cannot cope emotionally with the feeling of emasculation would take his wife’s retaliation as a huge blow to his manhood. Sometimes such cases would backfire into physical abuse. British Law was not at liberty to defend the woman since the line between physical abuse and domestic discipline was never clearly defined. As long as the woman had no broken bones, then it was fine. It was generally considered OK to have bruising and swelling around the face with the occasional black eye. The name given to such situations was called a “domestic.”

With this fine line which existed between domestic discipline and domestic violence it is a small wonder why people are so sceptical about LDD. It is considered extremely politically incorrect in the UK - men being frowned upon as abusers and women as doormats. To argue that it should be accepted on the lines of consentuality often falls on deaf ears. People misunderstanding that the woman is somehow being coerced into giving her consent under duress - from fear of any retribution by her husband!

Normalising Loving Domestic Discipline will prove to be very difficult. Many people will be resistant to the natural and very peaceful results that such a lifestyle transposes. Many people only see one very small aspect which is the punishment spanking. They refuse to see the many positive, and multi layered effects, by often likening the spanking to a misuse of power, violence and abuse. Perhaps they envisage that accepting the LDD lifestyle, would be taking a step backward into the past?

I do believe, however, that nature will always prevail. Whether something is constituted as normal comes and goes with the latest trends as described above. But the very healthy, natural and instinctual expressions of LDD will manifest themselves as a celebration of the man and his woman - a celebration of energies. The manifestation of these expressions may need to go underground. But they will nevertheless, continue to be practised regardless of bigoted opinions and other discriminatory views.

Femininity vs. Feminism

In many ways, feminism in its true sense is a completely separate entity to femininity. Neither has any bearing on the other. Feminism in its true spirit, came about to offer equality to women. No one can argue that this was a bad thing. Since the time of the suffragette movement, conditions for women have improved both at home, work and in society. I would be very surprised if people were against feminism when considering it by its true meaning. However, female rebellion and other feminine misbehaviours soon tarnished the good work of the early pioneers such as Emily Pankhurst et al. Many feminists opted to take a radical anti-men approach. Men who have been raised to be aware of their masculine energies as protectors have been “dammed” by this damaging group of women, who loudly proclaim their so called feminism. Men who used to engage in chivalrous acts such as holding doors open for women, or offering up their seat, will now refrain from doing so, from the fear of getting their heads bitten off.

Whilst there is no direct conflict between true feminism and femininity, the opposite is true when considering pseudo-feminism.

Society in Britain has responded to pseudo-feminism by opting for a genderless society. For example, Britain encourages modern parents to avoid differentiating between the sexes. It is deemed as a sign of good middle class parenting to give boys and girls toys opposite to their genders roles. Their reasoning being that encouraging boys to play with dolls will instil a more nurturing quality in the male (a characteristic more attributable to females.) Whereas, giving girls construction kits will instil reason and logic (characteristics being more attributed to males.)

Such a scheme is riddled with problems. It is a proven fact that boys and girls are attuned to different hemispheres of the brain. Girls are more multi-tasking and will migrate from one toy to another, whereas, boys will usually sit for hours with the same toy. Enforcing role-reversal is extremely damaging. What society is invariably doing is causing a genderless society. Without being able to go through early socialisation, attuned with their genders and roles children will never fully understand the diversity, nor complexity of the masculine and feminine energies. Girls will grow up as “clueless” adults often competing for power with their husbands and other men.

Whilst the true spirit of feminism is outward looking, corresponding to the inequalities in our society, femininity is something altogether different. Femininity comes from within. It is not something learned, rather something felt. It is being deeply in tune with the opposite polar energies of the masculine and feminine. It is a response to the male call. The male call and female response can be witnessed in the subtleties of body language. You only have to witness a flirting couple at a party who come together for the first time. The woman’s eye contact and hand movements seductively draw a man in and then teasingly and shyly cast him off. This is one of the woman’s inborn feminine responses to an interested male. The man on the other hand will often stand squarely in front of the woman, frequently checking behind him as he blocks her from the gaze of other competitors, his body leaning in and getting ever closer. The woman’s voice will become low and husky, with her breathing becoming faster and heavier due to her increased heart rate. The woman is not taught these non-verbal responses they are natural instinctual and innate responses to her femininity.

Masculine vs. Feminine

Femininity is a celebration of womanhood. It is not a fight about what society deems women to be, nor is it a response to political pressures. It is an acute awareness of those innate female qualities and characteristics. These characteristics manifest themselves in feminine energies which truly awaken when the woman is faced with her direct opposite - the man. Her smooth skin against his rough stubble, her curves, breasts and softness against his stronger, muscular squarer, harder frame. His musky manly odour drives her crazy with desire as she presses her smaller and weaker frame against his larger and stronger one. She feels protected as she surrenders the very core of her womanhood to her man. It is a celebration of the masculine and feminine, the coming together, the exchange of energies, love, mingled with the physical thrust and penetration.

Many men find their energies drawn to a woman with more feminine aspects to her nature. They will find a woman very attractive with delicate and fragile qualities. A woman who is aggressive, bossy, loud and controlling will not find herself attractive to most men. A man needs to feel the depth of his masculine power and strength as protector. He needs to feel his strength against the backdrop of her weakness. If she is overbearing then the man feels threatened. He feels he must compete with her over power.

Men respond to delicate childlike (not childish) women. Women, who have these childlike inner qualities, have retained a certain innocence and wonderment about the world. They look at the world with renewed wonder and often have a kind of energy that men find endearing. Childlike women are in tune with the little girl inside them; they have not repressed these qualities but have responded to them. It is the little girl inside the woman who feels a deep need for her mans guidance and correction. The little girl who cries freely when her man disciplines her. The little girl who won’t feel peace until her man has forgiven her and lovingly nurtured her in his strong arms.

Allowing the connection of the inner child to emerge and work through the woman gives the woman a healthy balance, being so much more in tune with her psyche and emotions. Rather than ignore the demands of her inner child, she responds to them, allowing her to radiate with an inner sense of tranquillity. Being very much in touch with the inner depth and core of her femininity – her true self.

Strong vs. Weak.

Without experiencing an increased awareness of my own submission I would have claimed, that it does take an incredibly strong woman to be submissive, since it takes incredible emotional/psychological strength to exude obedience at all times. However, the whole concept of submission is more complex than I initially thought. On one hand, submission is a very active process, not passive as I first envisaged. Living in a society which shams any idea of submitting to the HOH’s authority, makes it very difficult for women to respond to their natural urges. In this sense submission is very active – the woman has to go against the demands of society, friends and family. Often she will find herself isolated and lonely, as she shies away from people who want to pull her away from her natural submissive state. In such a case it could be argued that it takes an incredibly strong woman to be able to go against the consensus and listen to her natural instincts. On the other hand, submission is a very natural expression of femininity; it is very natural for woman to respond to their men submissively, it is what being a woman is all about. It is neither emotionally difficult, nor educationally challenging. It is an innate, natural and healthy expression of being a woman. It crosses all boundaries of whether women are emotionally weak or strong. Crossing all barriers of culture, race and class - submission, in my belief is “femininity” at its root.

Having a weak or strong emotional character may or may be attributed with submission. But it is certainly attributed with distinguishing and acting upon the difference between a “dominant” and “domineering” man. A woman who is both emotionally strong and confident in herself, will not submit to the bullying nature of a domineering man, who (having a weak nature) bullies his woman into obedience for his own selfish gain. Possibly doing so, to attain some level of power and control over his own insecurities and inadequacies.

When considering femininity and submission the two seem inseparable from one another. One could argue, that femininity is certainly synonymous with submission. You cannot be feminine without being submissive and you cannot be submissive without being feminine.

If we now consider the notion of submission being synonymous with obedience, well this is a more difficult question to answer… certainly obedience is the natural result of submission. The more you are aware of your submission then the less effort you put into being obedient, the more natural your obedience is. Thus, resulting in an increased obedience as a direct result of your increased submission (so, this assumption works one way). But is the same true in the opposite direction? Can increased obedience result in increased submission? This is quite a tricky question to answer. On one hand you could argue that any “physical” act of obedience may “appear” to be a submissive act. But very often appearances can be deceptive. It could be argued that if obedience is not “freely” given (when considering slavery for example) then though the act may be a physical act of obedience it is not a mental act of submission, therefore it is not a submissive act at all. The same may apply to women who find themselves in relationships with domineering men. They may be too frightened to leave the relationship. In some cases they may not even be allowed to leave their relationship, if you consider some of the less liberal cultures. These women may not be giving themselves willingly to their husbands. Mentally they would not be submitting, so perhaps this would be a form of pseudo-submission?

Submissive vs. Non Submissive

There are times when women will find their submission to their HOH sporadic. As much as they want to submit and retain the feminine flow through their daily lives, it is at times very hard. Life isn’t always easy and people aren’t perfect. There may be situations when the woman may be harbouring some past hurt/resentment, caused directly/indirectly by her HOH. Sometimes there are real challenges which strive to drive a wedge between their relationship, causing the woman to take leave of her natural feminine tendencies and take on a more masculine role.

Within each woman there are two opposing forces which work directly against each other. These forces are akin to the centripetal and centrifugal force. The centripetal is a positive force it is akin to a woman’s femininity, the natural, central core and expression of womanhood. It is a woman’s submission and obedience – it is what renders her female. This is the force which stirs deep within the woman to respond to those covert/overt sexual energies. It is an awareness of herself, of her true femininity and submission. At the most subtle level, a look or warning from her man will evoke a deep stirring of covert sexual surrender. It is her awareness to respond to the male call and be deeply in tune with her own feminine energies against the diverse backdrop of his masculine ones.

As strong as these natural womanly tendencies are there exists a force which is equally strong, which is akin to the centrifugal force. The centrifugal force is negative, since it pulls the woman away from her natural tendencies. It pulls the woman away from her natural instinctual position and role as a female. Where the centripetal force is one of cohesion, expressing natural order, the centrifugal force is one of havoc and chaos, the pulling away from the natural and instinctual. The centrifugal force is akin to reticence, defiance and severe disrespect to her man. It is going against the natural responses to her feminine energies. It is severe resistance to her HOH’s protection, guidance and discipline.

Women must be aware of these opposing forces. They must strive to move within their natural energy fields. To go against submission, is to create a chasm in the interplay between the masculine and feminine energies. It is to seriously disrupt and harm the natural order and interconnections of the two energies. Such friction will create havoc and harm, where there was once peace and harmony. Masculine and feminine energies are like the ying and yang, to go against this invites negative energies –it is like going against chi.

Any responsible HOH will ensure that the woman is surrounded by her own natural feminine energies. If not, his duty as HOH is to put her back in touch with her submission by administering a bare bottomed, tearful discipline. Such a spanking quickly brings the masculine/feminine energies back into balance and proportion. Such a spanking will always render the woman to face up to her femininity and submission.

Dominance vs. Submission

When a man takes control of his woman he renders her powerless, submissive and feminine. The exchange of energies between the dominant man and submissive woman are extenuated when the man releases the ultimate depth of his authority.

Within the authoritative male there exists a range of different actions, corresponding to the severity of her misbehaviour. These actions display themselves on a spectrum which range from a look or warning at one end, to a severe transformational disciplinary spanking at the other. The synergistic interplay of energies of masculine authority and feminine submission corresponds to what ever place on the spectrum the actions lie. A look or warning will inevitably invoke a tingling sensation in the woman. It will invoke a fleeting fear and a jolt into her submissive awareness. On the other end of the spectrum, however, a transformational spanking, as defined by lovingdd (Transformational Discipline) will force her to face up to her deepest levels of her submission. It will force her to face up to the very core of her womanhood.

Many women often mistakenly assume that it is the man’s job to keep a constant eye out for their misbehaviour. That it is a man’s job to remember every maintenance. Worse still that it is a man’s job to be so in tune with his woman that he can telepathically gauge when she is in “want” of a spanking. One woman once said to me, “Well… if I have to ASK him for a spanking, then what’s the point?” I never forgot this woman’s comment, because it really wasn’t that long ago when I would have been of the same opinion! It wasn’t all that long ago, when I would deliberately brat in order to release my HOH’s dominance. I was of the opinion that my bratting was forcing out his dominance, which would in turn released my womanly submission. But I was sadly mistaken! My HOH was more angry than dominant and the levels of my submission were very weak. All bratting has ever done is to cause disharmony in our home and bafflement to my confused HOH!

I have since learned from Lovingdd’s “Asking” article, that asking for the occasional maintenance or punishment brings out very deep levels of submission. It is extremely humbling and embarrassing to ask for a spanking, especially for punishment. Asking taps into the synergistic process of authority and submission. Asking actively involves me in the implication of my own punishment, which renders me in an accepting frame of mind. Asking, positively reinforces my HOH’s role as leader, protector and corrector. By asking I am inadvertently saying to my HOH that I am in need of his help. That I surrender in love, respect and obedience, honouring his position as protector and leader of our family. That I accept and welcome my discipline without demise. Because I know its benefits will transcend any pain I may experience. That it will benefit me as a woman.

Asking for punishment allows me to prepare in a more submissive and contrite frame of mind. It allows me to acknowledge my HOH’s masculine authority and feel the great sense of shame my misbehaviour has caused. Waiting for my punishment, stripped naked, scolded and feeling very humiliated in the corner or some other compromising position, allows me to prepare mentally and introspectively examine my misbehaviour. Asking makes me feel truly humbled and exudes a calm state of mind and heart. It allows me to accept and even welcome the severity of my spanking, allowing me to truly understand the benefits at an exceptionally deep level.

To summarise: The whole concept of being aware of ones femininity, is primarily a result of being in tune with ones innate feminine energies, against the opposing masculine ones. If a woman is not aware of her energies, then she will never be able to respond to the male call. She will always compete with other men, being oblivious of her own gender role. Increasing pressure in Britain has tried to avoid any emphasis on gender. A genderless society can only cause harm. If people are not aware of their genders, even at a basic level, then they will never be able to form healthy sexual relationships. Pseudo-feminists, feminist-separatists and other sectors discriminating against male led relationships, have caused much harm. In not wanting to discriminate against such minority groups, Britain has accepted these practises as healthy and normal. However, such acceptance is to the serious detriment of the very natural and inborn expressions of both the masculine and feminine. It has seriously damaged women's innate tendencies to follow their natural, inherent feminine and submissive instincts.

There are many different levels of awareness to femininity and submission. This awareness is a direct result of being in tune with the inborn, feminine instincts of being a woman. This awareness is heightened with the interplay between the masculine and feminine energies. At one deep level the woman responds to her man as they make love, as she completely surrenders herself over to his manhood. But at a much more profound level her awareness of self, increasing submission and consequent lovemaking is heightened, when she responds to her man’s chastisement and correction. There is absolutely no doubt that Loving Domestic Discipline taps into a woman’s submissive awareness, where she is embracing the true beauty of her womanhood. There is absolutely no doubt that Loving Domestic Discipline unleashes the truer deeper essences of womanly submission and obedience. There is absolutely no doubt that LDD is the gate way to unlocking femininity and promoting a deep sense of harmony, balance, peace and love.



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