~My Transformational Spanking~
My attitude to my HOH has not been great over the years. I fluctuate between being obedient, feminine and submissive, to being moody, controlling and argumentative. I frequently show disrespect by raising my voice and unleashing my frustrations onto him. My HOH had an affair eight years ago. I should have got over this and moved on. Instead, I’ve been stuck with my negative attitude which is causing invariable harm to myself, my man and all those who come in contact with me.
I asked my HOH to help me overcome this problem. I revealed to him that I couldn’t remain in an obedient state all of the time. I revealed to him that I needed his help to put me back in touch with my femininity and submission. I respectfully requested if my man would consider giving me a Transformational Discipline. My HOH agreed and set the agreed time to: Sat June 24th at
My discipline lasted two hours. One hour consisted of severe scolding, being stripped naked from my clothes, Corner Time and having pertinent sections of Lovingdd’s Transformational discipline read out to me. One sentence which stands out very clearly was that I’ll understand the implications of my discipline... “Under no uncertain terms” and that I’ll think twice before... “flirting with disobedience again.” After reading extracts from the Transformational Discipline article, my HOH came to the corner where I was standing and asked me to define what transformational meant? He then went on to clarify its meaning by adding, that to transform means to change shape. “Trans” meaning to move (like transport) and “form” meaning shape – a mathematical term meaning moving from one shape to another. He told me under no uncertain terms that this discipline wasn’t to modify my current behaviour, but to completely eradicate it – to change shape, to transform, to completely move from a negative attitude to a positive one. My HOH then took the Loopy Johnny and smacked me very hard about ½ a dozen times whilst I was standing in the Corner to start my onset of tears.
After an hour of being told off, of being humiliated, shamed and carefully questioned on the implications of such a severe and transforming discipline, I was placed over my man’s knee for a warm up. The warm up was harder than usual, my HOH saying that anytime I spoke or wriggled, 10 more minutes would be added to the hour. I was allowed to hold his free hand when the pain become unbearable and I did speak out before my catharsis. I repeatedly said “Thank you Sir, Thank you,” before I entered into that deeper level of crying. My HOH was not angry, understanding my utterance to be my submissive awareness breaking through, in response to my deeply felt gratitude.
My HOH spanked me very hard with his hand, after 15 minutes he changed to the Loopy Johnny in order to give his hand a rest. My severe spanking continued for 40 minutes without any break alternating between his hand and Loopy Johnny. My HOH then slightly lessened the severity continuing through the remaining time by allowing me to work through my catharsis. By allowing me to concentrate on the emotional aspects instead of the pain.
At my spanking was over I was then sent to bed for the rest of the night where I continued crying. I was told to record the events the next day in the Punishment Book of the Loving Domestic Discipline website.
I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much. I am very tender and sore this morning. My bottom is still very red and swollen. I’m finding it uncomfortable sitting on the chair writing up the events. I have to travel a long distance tomorrow and I’m worried that I’ll find the journey difficult in terms of sitting for long periods. My HOH has told me under NO uncertain terms, that if he has to repeat this discipline again, then he won’t hesitate to increase the time and intensity.
It is really quite difficult to talk about benefits after such a short duration. I certainly feel very contrite and sorry for my past misbehaviour. I have certainly been taken over and beyond the limits of pain (both emotional and physical.)
One immediate benefit we both noticed was straight after my transformational punishment. I revealed to my HOH very deep and hurtful past emotions, things that I’d kept locked inside and had almost forgotten about. By being comforted whilst sitting on his knee and allowing myself to cry and "let go" within the loving, protective arms of my man, has been very healing...