Sunday, June 25, 2006

~My Transformational Spanking~


MISBEHAVIOR:

My attitude to my HOH has not been great over the years. I fluctuate between being obedient, feminine and submissive, to being moody, controlling and argumentative. I frequently show disrespect by raising my voice and unleashing my frustrations onto him. My HOH had an affair eight years ago. I should have got over this and moved on. Instead, I’ve been stuck with my negative attitude which is causing invariable harm to myself, my man and all those who come in contact with me.

I asked my HOH to help me overcome this problem. I revealed to him that I couldn’t remain in an obedient state all of the time. I revealed to him that I needed his help to put me back in touch with my femininity and submission. I respectfully requested if my man would consider giving me a Transformational Discipline. My HOH agreed and set the agreed time to: Sat June 24th at 6.00pm

DISCIPLINE:

My discipline lasted two hours. One hour consisted of severe scolding, being stripped naked from my clothes, Corner Time and having pertinent sections of Lovingdd’s Transformational discipline read out to me. One sentence which stands out very clearly was that I’ll understand the implications of my discipline... “Under no uncertain terms” and that I’ll think twice before... “flirting with disobedience again.” After reading extracts from the Transformational Discipline article, my HOH came to the corner where I was standing and asked me to define what transformational meant? He then went on to clarify its meaning by adding, that to transform means to change shape. “Trans” meaning to move (like transport) and “form” meaning shape – a mathematical term meaning moving from one shape to another. He told me under no uncertain terms that this discipline wasn’t to modify my current behaviour, but to completely eradicate it – to change shape, to transform, to completely move from a negative attitude to a positive one. My HOH then took the Loopy Johnny and smacked me very hard about ½ a dozen times whilst I was standing in the Corner to start my onset of tears.

After an hour of being told off, of being humiliated, shamed and carefully questioned on the implications of such a severe and transforming discipline, I was placed over my man’s knee for a warm up. The warm up was harder than usual, my HOH saying that anytime I spoke or wriggled, 10 more minutes would be added to the hour. I was allowed to hold his free hand when the pain become unbearable and I did speak out before my catharsis. I repeatedly said “Thank you Sir, Thank you,” before I entered into that deeper level of crying. My HOH was not angry, understanding my utterance to be my submissive awareness breaking through, in response to my deeply felt gratitude.

My HOH spanked me very hard with his hand, after 15 minutes he changed to the Loopy Johnny in order to give his hand a rest. My severe spanking continued for 40 minutes without any break alternating between his hand and Loopy Johnny. My HOH then slightly lessened the severity continuing through the remaining time by allowing me to work through my catharsis. By allowing me to concentrate on the emotional aspects instead of the pain.

At 8.00pm my spanking was over I was then sent to bed for the rest of the night where I continued crying. I was told to record the events the next day in the Punishment Book of the Loving Domestic Discipline website.

AFTERMATH:

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much. I am very tender and sore this morning. My bottom is still very red and swollen. I’m finding it uncomfortable sitting on the chair writing up the events. I have to travel a long distance tomorrow and I’m worried that I’ll find the journey difficult in terms of sitting for long periods. My HOH has told me under NO uncertain terms, that if he has to repeat this discipline again, then he won’t hesitate to increase the time and intensity.

BENEFITS:

It is really quite difficult to talk about benefits after such a short duration. I certainly feel very contrite and sorry for my past misbehaviour. I have certainly been taken over and beyond the limits of pain (both emotional and physical.)

One immediate benefit we both noticed was straight after my transformational punishment. I revealed to my HOH very deep and hurtful past emotions, things that I’d kept locked inside and had almost forgotten about. By being comforted whilst sitting on his knee and allowing myself to cry and "let go" within the loving, protective arms of my man, has been very healing...

~C~

12 Comments:

At 31.7.06, Blogger L said...

Good Lord!

I am utterly horrified! I ahve read this blog and your most recent one "part 3" and cannot understand why you feel this abuse is "treatment". It is physically and emotionally pianfull and administered by your husband and not a professional therapist or doctor.

I know what I am talking about as I suffer from OCD and Bulimia and never ever has my partner touched me or spoken to me in a disrespectfull or deliberately agressive way to make me "sorry" for being ill or for being "bad".

Please email me I am so concerned for you.

Lucy

(my blog is called life and strife.)

lw2952@open.student.ac.uk

 
At 1.8.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello Lucy,

Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry that you have also suffered from Anorexia and Bulimia. I know how difficult it is to stop. The compulsion to starve and binge are a force too strong to cope with alone. I also know how isolating and lonely having an eating disorder can be. I only recently told my husband (10 months ago.) If I hadn’t told him, then I would have still been stuck without making any progress.

Oh Lucy, I had to smile when I read your comment. You see, none of my friend’s share in the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle either. If any of them ever found out, I would imagine that their response would be similar to yours. I think they would probably think I fell from a great height and permanently damaged my head!

It’s quite refreshing talking to someone who is not in a Domestic Discipline relationship – but only from the view that since I regard it as extremely normal, natural and ordinary way of living (which it is) I do often wonder how others see it? As an outsider how do you rate it? Does it seem completely bizarre, or do you see some merits in it? The reason I ask is because I have wanted to talk about our LDD lifestyle with some of my non-LDD friend’s, but I’m not sure how they will take it. Some of them know I blog and often wonder why I’m so secretive about not sharing the web address!

I’m sorry if my writing alarmed you. No, I’m not abused, but I do understand where you’re coming from in thinking that I am…I think that if I knew nothing about this lifestyle and the fine dynamics associated with it, I would have also come to your conclusion.

Not only have I given my full consent, but I am extremely grateful to my man for each and every discipline he bestows. It really isn’t easy for him, yet he does it because he loves me, it is actually the greatest act of love he can give. He also does it because I ask him to. I sometimes ask him because I know that the long term benefits will outweigh the short term pain and fear. His discipline transcends me and unlocks the very core of my womanhood. I grow and learn from each and every discipline – it certainly benefits me as a woman!

To begin with, R (my husband) was never gripped by this lifestyle. All through our marriage I would be the one who would yearn to be put over his knee and spanked. Eventually I received my first spanking at the age of 19, but it was more out of anger – I had pushed R beyond the limits just to get what I wanted! Other times I would push and he would absolutely refuse. R has only started accepting this lifestyle since reading www.lovingdd.blogspot.com. We have only started “properly” living the lifestyle 10 months ago. In the beginning it was very difficult for R to engage in this lifestyle. Since R is a pacifist and (he wrongly believed) that the lifestyle went against his morals and religious principles. However, as he started understanding the psychology behind LDD, the dynamics between the masculine and feminine energies and the "remarkable" progress I have made, he is now a confirmed LDD’er!

The spanking has to be hard, if it wasn’t, then I would enjoy it and it would be classed as an erotic or good girl spanking. Such spankings are OK too, but not used in punishment or maintenance. Punishment spankings are supposed to be sufficiently unpleasant, so that I can learn from my lesson and move on. It is a very positive experience not a negative one. I’m not spanked for being “bad” I am a good person (or at least I try to be!) I am, however, spanked because my behaviour is bad. It certainly isn’t good behaviour to engage in something like this, is it?

Many psychological studies have been carried out to show that “pain” such as in the use of electric shock therapy, do eradicate undesirable behaviours. I’m not trying to convince you about this lifestyle, but I am trying to convince you that I’m OK and not abused. :-)

Yes, I would really like to keep in touch with you via email. We may not share the same views about LDD, but we do both have an eating disorder. I’ve never corresponded with anyone with an eating disorder before; I think it may be good for both of us to talk around these issues. I am going to be out of town for about a week, so won’t be able to write until I get back.

I looked at your blog and can relate to what you write. EBay, yes, I’ve been there, done that and bought the t-shirt!! Arghhh!! Only with me, Jewellery was my great weakness!

Good luck with your therapy :-)

~C~

 
At 2.8.06, Blogger audrey said...

c, pay no attention to l. She's been dropping by people's websites and offering her narrow minded opinions all over the shop.

I've never heard of spanking being used as anything other than erotic foreplay. I even thought that Subs and Doms (is that what you and your husband are?) were using it for erotica. I don't know if it's the lifestyle for me, but as a gender studies academic I'm fascinated by it!

So many questions! Would you mind if I emailed you and asked you all about it? I'm very interested in how you came into this lifestyle and what the parameters of each of your roles are.

best, audrey.

 
At 4.8.06, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello Audrey,

Sorry about the delay in getting back. I'm actually away from the computer at the moment.

I would love to discuss any aspect of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle with you :-)

At the moment I'm out of town and I'm only going to occasionally check my emails. If you would like to wait until Wednesday of next week before you email me, I should be back and I'll respond straight away.

~C~

 
At 4.4.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your posts. You have helped my submission and obedience. I don't tell anyone of our lifestyle, but as you say, it has transformed our lives. We are happier, more connected. it isn't easy, a daily struggle, but I have never been happier. You are a great comfort and help. Kathy

 
At 4.4.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hi Kathy,

You are very welcome.
I'm so pleased that you are living this wonderful lifestyle. I'm so pleased that my posts have helped with your submission and obedience to your HOH.

You are right that it is very difficult having to keep LDD a secret. Sadly, I also wish I could talk about it casually with my neighbours and friends. I do, however, find it gratifying when other people notice how happy and connected I am with my HOH.

I'm so pleased you are more connected and have never been happier. Life is certainly challenging. However, LDD certainly makes women approach struggles with a more peaceful and positive frame of mind.

All the best in your LDD journey!

~C~

 
At 31.7.07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! I have been a part of a LDD relationship for a long time, but I have to admit if he EVER cheated on me that would be the end of it for us. I might be able to forgive him (I stress MIGHT), but I would never be able to continue that kind of a relationship with him again because I would never be able to see him the same way again. This type of session would most likely end the marriage for me as he was the one who had strayed, not me, and therefore the pain or struggles I had in coping with it would be something he would have to work with not punish me for. After dealing with other issues I know that there is no set time that you "should be over things" and this does seem abusive to me, too.

Everyone is different, however, and you seem to not only be fine wiht it but find any other point of view humorous. I do hope you are OK but I know despite being in an LDD relationship....this would NEVER work for me. I simply feel that respect goes BOTH ways and I would feel disrespected and unloved and abused. But my best to you if you can tolerate that and be OK with it.

 
At 2.8.07, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello anonymous,

Thank you for your comment and I appreciate your concerns. I also used to think that if my HOH ever cheated on me that it would be the end of our relationship. However, although we have been in a DD relationship for the last 20 odd years, it lacked a certain meaning and structure. It was only when we came across Mr Lovingdd's site and bought his books where it all started to make sense. We came across Mr Lovingdd's site after my HOH's affair, so you could say that LDD has been the magic potion which has held our marriage together.

No, I am not spanked or blamed for my husband's affair. It is indeed his fault and he is very much accountable for it. I am, however, spanked for my negative attitude. This is a very good thing since it is my negative attitude which stops the much needed healing process. It is my negative attitude which acts as a barrier which prevents the access of love and intimacy in our relationship.

Yes, respect does work both ways. I felt abandoned, disrespected and psychologically violated by my husband in the early stages. I didn't just up and leave because of my two young children. But I was certainly thinking in these early, raw stages that I would leave, just as soon as my youngest turned 18.

They say that time is a great healer...which is true. It is also true that Loving Domestic Discipline is a lifestyle which harmoniously binds people together in love and unity.

All my very best to you,

~C~

 
At 4.11.08, Blogger goldenmarble said...

HI!

Me and my husband are new to DD but it's going super well. My husband spanks me with a belt for punishment and maintenance. The problem is that I bruised really bad the last time and the bruising lasted a week. Does this happen to you and if so what do you do for it? My husband wouldn't spank me for maintenance because of it and now I feel unconnected and out of sorts? Any advice? Have you ever been spanked over bruises?

 
At 9.1.09, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was married for 25 years and recieved many spankings; usually with a strap; when we were first married they wern't often but I would say the last 5 years of our marriage before my husband died I was spanked every day with a strap; sometimes the spankings were quite sever but there were never any less than a least 100 stokes; I always appreciated that my husband took so much care to keep me on the straight and narrow; it always hurt but it made life easier than argueing.

 
At 31.3.09, Anonymous montana said...

Hello C-
I very occasionally visit your site and others behind HIS back, I wish I could tell him that I want LDD, and I feel guilty that I am hiding this from him. I have found your site most helpful to my slow journey of getting there.

 
At 1.4.09, Blogger C's Correction said...

Hello Montana,

Thank you for your comment.

You are by no means alone. There are many women who write to me who desire this lifestyle very much but find it difficult to tell their husbands. There are even more women who find that their husbands are very reluctant to take the lead in their homes...

You could try writing him a letter. Or ear-marking a few sites and asking him what his opinions are?

Best of luck,
~C~

 

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