Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Essay - Exploring Submission...

Recently I have been examining the complexities behind submission.
I’ve found myself wondering what submission truly means...

At the heart submission is overtly sexual. The woman surrenders herself during lovemaking to her much stronger and powerful male. The most frequently demonstrated position is where the woman submissively lies on her back, whilst her mate dominates from the top exuding his masculine energies, as he thrusts his manhood deeply inside her. She must accept this most potent and masculine part of his body by submissively opening her thighs and allowing him to penetrate her. Many women have fantasies of being ravished (raped) by the much stronger male, whilst they are defenceless to protect themselves. Such fantasies are the woman craving to be “taken,” “forced” and “consumed” by the physically stronger male which acts as a backdrop enhancing their femininity and weaker sex.

In some ways there is a distinct parallel between the desire to be ravished and the desire to be disciplined – both (on one level) are the woman wanting to have her feminine submissive energies teased out by the assertion of her dominant male. By testing his manliness by either seducing him into forced sexual ravishment or bratting for a spanking is an effective way of feeling his masculine flow of energy. This masculine flow of energy, in turn eases out her submissive urges so that she can feel “taken” and “overwhelmed” by his masculine force.

I am not advocating that bratting is a good thing; it is in fact a very bad thing. I am simply highlighting the parallel between bratting and ravishment and stating that it is one way that some women who are not quite in tune with their submissive awareness tap into their submission. The synergistic process between authority and submission is extenuated as her man forces her to yield into submission. As he turns her across his knee, she at last feels his power and with his power comes that warmth and profound sense of love, protection and security she has been yearning for.

Bratting is in fact a very destructive and negative act. Whilst bratting may bring about instant gratification, it does not bring about any long term solutions. The submission experienced by the woman is in fact a pseudo-submission. The reason it is not genuine is that the submission has not been freely given by the woman, but orchestrated in a selfish and manipulative way – she is using her man as a play thing to do her will - in effect she is playing with his emotions. Her man will find himself in a world of confusion. He will never know whether her display of heinous misbehaviour is of genuine concern, or play acting for a spanking. Her man will usually feel so disillusioned that the last thing he will want to do is to pander to her wishes - when she is “deliberately” misbehaving for his attentions.

The very notion that a woman finds that she must brat extenuates the imbalance in their relationship. An example of such disequilibrium can be: Either a couple who are both new and struggling with the dynamics of their Loving Domestic Discipline relationship; a woman who is struggling with her own submission; a man who is struggling with his own authority or a combination of the above. Bratting highlights the equivocal that ultimately leads to chaos and havoc. This is the very opposite of what the purpose of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is – to create balance, peace, harmony, love and a much deeper connection between a man and his woman.

Most women don’t find it a problem tapping into their submission during lovemaking. Many women who have lived the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle for a considerable time, do not find it difficult remaining submissive throughout their spanking. But women who are fairly new to such discipline or new to the use of implements may panic when the reality of the pain and shame of their spanking becomes too unpleasant. Such women may have yearned for a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship for some time, but when the vivid all too apparent reality hits home, they find themselves blocking, twisting, kicking and clenching their bottoms. One of the reasons they panic is that they are not yet fully submissive. The profound depth of emotional surrender required may appear very different in reality than it had in fantasy.

Some women new to the lifestyle can’t cry during their spanking. Many are still struggling with their inward turmoil in refusing to yield and face up to the shame of their misbehaviour. The root of such misbehaviour is often found in the depths of the unconscious – this emotional release is a deeply cleansing and positive experience which slowly begins to unpick at the deep rooted causes of her misbehaviour. A lot of women have found that on reaching catharsis they can no longer feel the pain of their spanking, since the shame of their misbehaviour overrides the pain on their bottom, women who experience this for the first time feel truly liberated. Whilst, they start to understand the root cause of their misbehaviour, they also start to explore these deeper and more profound levels of submission. In doing so, they become more in tune with their own femininity and womanhood. They also embrace a deeply intimate union and connection with their man, becoming a whole lot closer and in tune with his wishes than they ever thought possible.

It can be clearly seen that the root of submission manifests itself from the overt inter-play of masculine and feminine energies, namely lovemaking. It can also be seen that this interplay of energies can be tapped into during the disciplinary process, in a more covert sense. But the challenging question which comes to the mind of most submissive women is how to continually remain in a submissive state, even throughout the most mundane times in their daily lives?

We have already clarified that a woman’s submission is fundamentally laced in sexuality – from the exchange of the male and female energies. Since submission is deeply rooted in sexuality, it is this heightened state of sexual awareness that the woman must strive towards in order to remain in her submissive state.

The dynamics of covert sexual energies weave themselves throughout the couple’s daily lives. A “warning” glance or being told she is a “bad” or “naughty girl” sends a shiver of dread down her spine as she subconsciously feels her bottom feeling hotter as she squirms uncomfortably. Being told she must prepare for punishment, strip and stand in the corner fills her with such fear. The fact that she will be placed naked over her man’s knee and corrected for her misbehaviour by being spanked to tears and beyond by the man she loves more than anyone else in the world, is a profoundly intimate experience. Likewise, being told what a “good girl” she is sends a shiver of excitement and pride in her own accomplishments. There is little doubt that there is a covert sexual energy between the man and his woman. Every day these dynamics are enhanced as she watches her man closely. She watches to see what small thing she can do to please him. How can she serve him and show him how utterly devoted she is to him? What more can she do to physically show her deep felt appreciation for his leadership, guidance and application of firm and loving discipline to place her back into a more loving frame of mind and heart? The energy between the man and his woman feels electric as the inter-play of energies intertwine themselves throughout their interaction.

Remaining in a submissive state is fairly easy when there is a direct inter-play of energies – i.e. when the couple are together. Remaining in a submissively compliant state becomes more difficult when the couple are not together and even more of a challenge when the woman must liaise at work with other women who act like men. This is where submission becomes quite hard to maintain. To be “truly” submissive and remain in that submissive state requires a great deal of work and effort. Only very confident and emotionally strong women can become truly submissive. Only emotionally strong women can stand strong against the wave of opposition and feel confident and proud for standing up for something they truly believe in. They shouldn’t antagonise their female colleagues for behaving like men, nor try to proliferate their lifestyle onto others. Women who behave like men have fallen prey to society’s pressure. They are not free, but are themselves victims, brainwashed into believing what society expects, rather than listening to their innate feminine instincts.

The woman who is deeply in tune with her own submission remains true to her conviction. She does not bend to pressure to behave in a masculine way; she does not partake in office gossip about the demise of men, nor drink copious amounts of alcohol after work. She does not use ugly unfeminine swear words, nor act aggressively. Rather she displays a quiet assertiveness which other women secretly admire. This assertiveness epitomises her strength as a “superior” woman, it epitomises her as being deeply in tune with her femininity symbolising her courage and strength. It renders her submissive, obedient, and soft with an internal radiance of femininity - a true goddess amongst women.

Remaining in a submissive state in the work place is much more of a challenge, but it is this challenge which is exciting. Loving Domestic Discipline is not static but fluid and dynamic. There is no end goal but a continuous journey. The office setting where the woman is immersed in a world of women behaving like men is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate her superiority and strength. I am not advocating in being aloof and unfriendly. On the contrary, the woman remains affable, helpful and approachable. She is very kind and bends over double to help others, but at the same time standing strong and not being swayed by the vast consensus.

One of the most powerful and submissive acts a woman can do is to have her pay cheque going into her HOH’s account. He is, after all her leader, so it makes perfect sense that he should control the finances. With her pay cheque going into his account (to which she has no access) she is surrendering herself totally into his care. Her HOH will give her a weekly budget for house keeping and it will be up to his sole discretion whether her behaviour has been good enough to render any “extras” she may desire. This is a deeply powerful act and not something that modern working women will find easy to do. It is, however, an immensely submissive act. An act which only women who are deeply submissive, emotionally strong and secure in their relationships can consent to. The efficacy of such an act speaks volumes to her HOH. She is in effect telling her man that she trusts in his guidance and leadership so much, that she is handing herself over to him completely.

Generally speaking women are not “consistently” good with money. Many women go on regular spending sprees and buy things they never use or wear. Generally, when men spend money they purchase expensive technical gadgets which they do use and get a constant pleasure from. Men’s spending sprees are generally very rare – once or twice yearly. Some women on the other hand, will spend money on a weekly basis – just for the sake of spending. Such behaviour is very destructive, even to the richest of families. The woman on her spending spree is striving to find instant gratification to fill a hole in her empty life. Rather than mooching around the mall aimlessly looking at what she can purchase, she should spend her time working on a happy home. She should be baking her family some nutritious food or kicking a ball in the park with her HOH and children.

Handing financial control to her HOH teaches her to become a better person. It teaches her to value money and trust in her HOH’s leadership implicitly. Such an act frees the woman from paying bills and other worries. Liberated she can begin to experience a depth to her submissive awareness, a covert sexual surrender as she submits to the energies of her man. She can begin to experience herself as a deeply feminine woman. A woman who is superior, liberated and free.