Friday, June 29, 2007

Essay - Preparing for Punishment

It is a general misconception to believe that the man’s role during the woman’s punishment is active whilst the woman’s is passive. Both men and women do have very different roles when preparing for the woman’s punishment. On the face of it, the man does indeed take a more active stance. He has to choose the correct implement, plan the severity and duration, remember to adequately scold his woman, plan the best possible position for her specific offence and plan to spank her sufficiently through and beyond her tears. The woman on the other hand appears to take a more passive role. Her role is to yield to her man’s discipline and surrender herself over to his correction. This is, however, where the misconception begins. Many women tend to think that the punishment process is nothing to do with them directly. They believe that planning and overseeing that their punishment is successful is their HOH's responsibility and that it is their job to just “go with the flow.” It is, after all, their HOH who decides the punishment and the HOH who carries it out – all the woman has to ensure is that she is on the receiving end. This is in fact where a lot of problems occur. Common problems such as the inability to cry and the inability to feel full remorse and learn from their mistakes are mainly due to women not preparing themselves sufficiently, not their HOH’s inability to punish them effectively.

This essay will carefully examine different commonly used techniques that women can use to ensure a successful punishment. Although the techniques are nothing new and are all standard LDD practises, it is nevertheless important to point out that if these techniques are practised cumulatively, then these common female problems can be overcome. It is essential for the woman to prepare herself for punishment. Without correct preparation she will never experience the full benefit from her discipline.

The article will be broken down into three sections, namely, a submissive woman’s duty “Before” “During” and “After” punishment.


(i) Apologizing

Just as soon as the woman is told of her impending discipline, she should start the process off with a heart felt apology. This apology is not some sort of decoy to try and escape from or soften the blows of her spanking; rather it is one of the first verbal affirmations, to show her HOH that she is ready for her discipline. It shows that she has taken responsibility for her actions and is in an accepting frame of mind and heart to receive the corrective measures needed to modify her behaviour.

If the woman has not taken accountability for her behaviour and feels no genuine apology, then it is up to her HOH on what action to take. Some HOH’s will wait and watch their women closely to see when they have had a change of heart. This waiting time allows their woman sufficient time to feel remorse by realising the graveness of their offence. Once the woman comes to her senses and apologises to her HOH, her punishment then resumes as normal. Other HOH’s, however, consider that the woman’s denial needs immediate punishment (or additional punishments). That swift and rapid action is necessary to put the woman into a more receptive frame of mind. If the woman is prone to stubbornly denying her wrong doing, then it is probably more beneficial to consider a more rapid approach with additional discipline.

(ii) Sir

The moment the woman is told that she is to prepare for punishment she should call her HOH “Sir”. Calling her man "Sir" is extremely important, since it instantaneously transforms her husband from someone she may have joked, teased and flirted with a moment ago, to a man in authority. Although the HOH is always in authority, calling her man "Sir" deepens these authoratitive instincts. It makes him step up his duty as HOH, so that he firmly spanks her to tears inorder to correct her wayward misbehaviour or attitude.

By addressing her man as “Sir,” the woman is helping to release her submissive tendencies. She is verbally reaffirming her femininity, obedience and respect for her man. It is a non-direct way of telling her man that she is prepared for the discipline he is about to bestow. The title “Sir” helps to highlight their gender differences, it helps to restore the natural balance of their masculine and feminine energies. Addressing her man as “Sir” reaffirms her HOH of his manly duty and authority over her. Her HOH is reaffirmed as her leader and Head of House who knows how best to discipline, guide cherish and protect her.

Some women call their HOH’s “Sir” all the time, whilst others do so only during the disciplinary process. Whether the woman calls her HOH “Sir” all the time, or only during discipline is up to the individual couple. It is, however, crucial to call her HOH “Sir” before, during and after each and every punishment.

(iii) Corner Time

Corner Time is possibly the most important time for women to prepare for their spanking. It is a woman’s duty to take full advantage of Corner Time and use this time effectively. Corner Time is not simply a break from the spanking (if it is used in the middle of her punishment). It is not the time for the woman to check her watch or mentally start preparing the evening meal. Rather, it is an extremely useful time to reflect over her misbehaviour and mentally prepare herself for the ordeal of her discipline. Effective preparation during Corner Time can usually produce a successful punishment, where the woman is compliantly brought to tears without any resistance to the discipline. It is in the woman’s interest to mentally prepare for the severity of her discipline. It is certainly going to be painful and her duty as a submissive woman is to endure the pain by obediently maintaining her position.

Some women are very frightened before their punishment. Although fear can be a good thing, too much fear can make her skittish and jumpy which will more than likely take her out of position during her spanking. If the woman suffers unduly with fear she should take the opportunity during Corner Time to relax and take deep breaths. She should confirm to herself that no lasting damage will be done, that her bottom can endure even the most severe blows. She should confirm to herself that she trusts her HOH. That whatever implement he uses, she is safe in the hands of the man who loves her more than anyone else in the world.

(iv) Honesty

If the woman is guilty of committing an offence, she should communicate this immediately. If she is too frightened to face her HOH, she should journal her misconduct for her HOH to read at a later date. Not owning up to a misbehaviour is very detrimental since she mentally absolves herself from that specific wrong doing. It allows the woman to carry on regardless, thinking that her behaviour is more or less OK. If the woman is not honest about all her offences, then there is little surprise if she doesn’t feel completely remorseful and responsible for the ones she does own up to. There is little surprise that she cannot release her tears and truly experience the effectiveness of each and every punishment.

(v) Responsibility

Some women think that if their HOH forgets about a punishment that they are somehow “let off the hook.” This kind of thinking is very negative. Loving Domestic Discipline is a two way process, it is actually the woman’s responsibility to respectfully remind her HOH about her punishment. However, caution should be taken to be extra respectful whilst she is reminding her HOH - since she is migrating into his territory. Some HOH’s may feel undermined about the woman’s reminder and feel that their authority is challenged. If the woman’s HOH does not take kindly to being reminded, the woman should journal an entry stating that no punishment took place. She should also enter her feelings about it. If she was relieved she should say so, or if she was upset that she had needed the punishment to unburden her and bring her forward as a better person, then that is what she should write. She should remember to write honestly and not just say what she thinks her HOH wants to hear. Writing a truthful account of her feelings will serve as a useful landmark in evaluating how much her thoughts and actions have improved over time and how much she has grown as a woman.

If the woman feels frustrated about her man’s forgetfulness and knows he won’t take too kindly to a reminder, she should take responsibility over her frustration. She should go for a run or long walk and try to vent off some of this frustration. Picking an argument in the hopes that he may spank her, is just childish. Bratting should never be engaged in, no matter how much the woman is in need of her spanking. At the other end of the scale, it is also very childish for the woman to refuse punishment by making up some lame excuse of having a bad migraine or period pain. If the woman is irresponsible and inclined to such deception then the discerning HOH should deal with these issues under a separate punishment.

It is the woman’s responsibility to come when called and promptly start preparing herself for punishment. Stalling the disciplinary process by procrastinating or being unduly slow should also be dealt with severely. Anything that hinders the flow of correction is both detrimental to the woman and a waste of her HOH’s time. The woman should not be at all surprised if she does not truly benefit from her discipline if 99% of the time she is fighting her punishment each step of the way.


(i) Remaining Silent

During the woman’s spanking there should not be any verbal communication with her HOH, unless he directly asks her a question, or requires her to count out each impending stroke. If the woman genuinely feels nauseous, dizzy or ill, then that is the only time she should respectfully communicate this to him. Her spanking is not a time to exercise her vocals and scream at the top of her voice, nor is it a time to yell or plead for her spanking to stop. The preparation time before her punishment, should have placed her in a more accepting frame of mind to welcome the spanking as a much needed tonic,which will help her grow as a woman. Yelling or pleading for her punishment to stop is not helping her benefit from her punishment. By submissively accepting her spanking and meekly complying, she will be more receptive to her own emotions and will not fight her surrender to catharsis.

(ii) Holding Position

There is no doubt that the woman’s spanking will hurt. There is no doubt that a punishment spanking is meant to be an unpleasant experience. Discipline is meant to hurt. If it was a pleasant experience then it would have no effect punitively and there would be a danger of the woman misbehaving on purpose. Holding position without kicking, clenching, pushing up, twisting from side to side or blocking is possibly one of the most difficult challenges for the woman. The woman must work on submissively yielding to her swats without coming out of position. Coming out of position not only makes her HOH’s job harder, but it is also cheating the woman out of an effective punishment. If all her energy is concentrated on rebelling then she won’t be in a submissive frame of mind necessary for catharsis. By compliantly maintaining her position she will discover the very profound depth of her femininity and submission. As soon as she stops fighting her spanking she will find herself rewarded by becoming so much calmer and in tune with the whole disciplinary process. Her contrition and remorse will bring her deeper into accepting her punishment rather than rebelling against it. Once her mind becomes more focused on her misbehaviour rather than rebellion, she will find herself entering a new awareness where her complete obedience during discipline results in her deep cathartic surrender.

(iii) Accepting Each Discipline Graciously

Even if the woman is implicated in an offence she did not commit she should nevertheless prepare for her punishment in the same way regardless. If she has committed no offence she will still benefit from her punishment. She can use it as a practise session to work on her obedience and submission. For many women this seems unduly harsh if not unfair, but the alternative to this by refusing discipline would seriously undermine her man’s masculinity. It is the woman’s duty as a submissive woman to constantly uphold her man’s authority. It is not easy being a HOH, the woman’s job is to obey and comply - such obedience from the woman strengthens her HOH’s leadership and resolve.

Accepting an unjust punishment is possibly one of the most difficult tasks for a woman. However, accepting her punishment when it was not her fault does have far greater rewards. By graciously yielding herself to an offence she did not commit enhances the epitome of her femininity and submission. After some time has elapsed she should of course tell her HOH that it wasn’t her fault. Her HOH at this point may feel terrible; it would be up to the woman to put his mind at rest by telling him how much the discipline had helped her with her submission. This also greatly rewards the woman since the HOH will think her submission and obedience to him as quite exemplary.

Naturally, if the woman has a chance before the unjust discipline to respectfully communicate to her HOH that she is innocent then she should of course do so. But a situation may present itself where the HOH is very angry and wants to take immediate action. The woman should naturally, never communicate her innocence before her spanking in such a situation, since it may end up in a battle of wills. Such refusal would tarnish her submission and undermine her man’s role as HOH. The woman’s duty is to uphold her man and lovingly support him in his role.


(i) Thanking

After the woman’s spanking has come to an end it is the time to thank her HOH for his efforts. Some women are so grateful that they fall to their knees and orally felate their HOH. Whilst with others, the closeness and reconnection after discipline follow their flow into making wonderful love together. Whatever transpires, it is absolutely essential for the woman to remember to thank her man properly.

After a thorough spanking the woman will generally feel a mixture of tiredness and a very sore bottom - her bottom will usually feel like severe sunburn. But the overriding feeling that eclipses her tiredness and soreness is a great sense of relief. The woman will feel that a great weight has been lifted, that she has truly been redeemed and forgiven by her HOH. The safety, comfort and bonding after a punishment spanking are the most profound experiences, which restores the harmony balance and inner peace for the woman. Restoring the woman’s balance and bringing her inner peace and happiness must be properly thanked. It is the woman’s duty to always remember to thank her HOH.

(ii) Strategies – The Way Forward

Effective punishment results in an outcome where the woman has hopefully learned from her discipline. She has learned her lesson well so that she is less likely to perform the same mistake again. Such an outcome is, however, unlikely if the woman has not fully taken on board the changes needed to improve her misbehaviour. One of the most basic things a woman can do is to always communicate to her HOH how the discipline has helped her. Usually after thanking her man for her spanking, the woman should discuss ways forward which will help her eliminate her undesirable behaviour from repeating itself. She should submissively ask her HOH for his guidance so that she does not fall into the same trap again. Such an act reaffirms her HOH’s role as her leader. It provides her with his wisdom as he counsels her with the necessary manoeuvres and strategies needed to help her progress forward. It also clarifies to her HOH that his woman has taken her punishment seriously. By asking for advice on how to make further progress with her good and desirable behaviour actively involves and implicates her in the punishment process.

To conclude: This essay has tried to show that the woman needs to take an active involvement in her discipline. Traditionally, the man will continue to take a more physically active role; however, the woman’s preparation (although not always externally visible) is nevertheless equally important. Together the man and his woman make a successful team when it comes to creating a successful and effective punishment.

The woman should remember that successful discipline involves her input just as much as her HOH’s. She should take every opportunity before, during and after her punishment to deepen her feminine awareness and submission. Taking every step to successfully prepare for her discipline is the woman’s duty as a submissive wife. It is the woman’s duty to work along side her man and support his role as HOH. She is not some irresponsible child who has no notion of what is good for her. As she chose to live this lifestyle because she recognised the benefits as a woman, she must now work hard at achieving the end result. The mental preparation required by the woman is crucial to ensuring she experiences the very depth of her emotions and full submission during punishment.