Sunday, May 28, 2006

Workshop Announcement...

Dear readers,

I would like to draw the attention to all lady readers about an upcoming workshop on submission. The workshop is based on Laura Doyle’s book, "The Surrendered Wife." It is to take place in Sandy Springs GA on Saturday the 11th of November 06 from 1pm-4pm. I was hoping for it to take place in August but unfortunately Ellen (the workshop coordinator) is going to be away at that time.

I have negotiated with Ellen in numerous emails to bring the cost down as low as possible. $25.00 per hour for 10 or more people for a 3-4 hour session is reasonably priced. But to get this super price we must get at least ten women together - otherwise the price is $40.00 per hour.

The Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is not possible without the woman striving towards submission and obedience. Although Laura Doyle’s book does not profess to any spanking discipline, it is nevertheless, a valuable aid in providing useful tips and advice. Any woman who is committed to relinquishing control by submitting to her HOH’s authority and guidance would find this workshop extremely useful.

All ladies interested would also find it beneficial to read “The Surrendered Wife” in preparation for the workshop. It would also be useful to have a list of questions or other issues to raise and discuss. I think it would be great to get a good discussion going. :-)

Anyone interested should contact Ellen directly. I have copied her flyer with all the relevant details. Going through Ellen is a very good thing, since it will preserve your anonymity – You needn’t contact me, so I need never know who you are and you needn't use your real name when signing up for the workshop. My very marked English accent won’t be so easy to disguise, but I have no real qualms regarding my anonymity.

I will also post these details to the “Submissive Wife Project” and try to generate some interest there.

Ladies let us explore our journey towards submission together. This proactive approach is a very positive way forward to improving our love, obedience, submission, respect and intimacy with our HOH. It will be an invaluable approach to finding the depth of our femininity, so that we can flower as the women we were created to be.

I look forward to meeting many of you in November :-)


Ellen’s flyer:


Do you wish you:

• Had more time for enjoyable activities?
• Fought less with your husband?

• Felt more gratitude and respect for your husband?

• Didn’t have to take charge of everything?

• Felt less stress?

Do you wish your husband would:

• Help more with the children?

• Be more romantic?

• Shower you with gifts?

• Be less critical?

• Appreciate you more?

• Do things without your having to nag?

This mini workshop-for-women based on Laura Doyle's book "The Surrendered Wife" can solve all these issues and more. Sign up today for the upcoming session.

When: Saturday, November 11, 2006
1:00pm – 4:00pm or 1:00pm – 5:00pm – depending on group’s choice

Where: Sandy Springs, GA
Cost: $40.00 per person per hour (if there are 10 or more attendees, then the price will be reduced to $25.00 per person per hour).

Contact: Ellen Hale

I am a lecturer, relationship coach, workshop leader and former nag who specializes in teaching women the tools that lead to an intimate relationship.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

~ My "Reminder" Spanking ~

Hello readers,

Wonderful to be home again!

I arrived home this morning having taken the overnight coach from London. I am really rather tired, so please excuse this hasty post. Whilst away, I had every intention to get on with an essay and some new posts, but due to staying with my sick aunty this unfortunately, was not possible.

When 'R' picked me up from the airport yesterday, he noticed immediately how quickly I changed from being calm, submissive and respectful, to being wrought and bossy. The problem with staying in my country for any length of time is that I easily slip back into ‘bad’ habits. The women from my country are very matriarchal and the men are really rather scared of them (or maybe they hide from their women for a quiet life!)

As soon as I saw 'R' I started delegating who carries what suitcase, whether we should stop for tea/coffee or a snack and what the itinerary for the rest of the day should be, etc... At first R allowed my old energy to flow once more – sadly, it was a sight all too familiar being the "bossy" C who controlled every aspect of the relationship. But pretty soon I started getting under R’s skin, he leaned over and whispered firmly that he wasn’t going to tolerate my misbehaviour any longer and I would be getting a sound ‘reminder’ spanking to clearly demonstrate who the HOH is as soon as we reached his apartment. Such an admonishment made me immediately submissive, I snuggled my head on his shoulder and slept the rest of the tube journey, feeling so loved and protected by my HOH once again.

Interestingly, David Deida clarifies this kind of feminine behaviour in his book, “The Way of the Superior Man.” He claims that women will push their men to the limits in order to be told “no” so that they can feel their men’s power and masculine strength. Being given such restrictions by their man emphasises his manhood and role as leader and protector, it is this that women are trying to tease out. In essence, I suppose it very much akin to bratting. Although Deida regards such female interaction as a necessary component of the feminine, Loving Domestic Discipline would definitely rank bratting as severe misbehaviour, since it would render the woman 'non-submissive' whilst in the act of manipulating and testing her man's limits. LDD would definitely try to discourage anything which would upset the equilibrium of authority and submission. I must confess that I do brat when I’ve been apart from R for some time. Being unable to fully benefit from a more frequent Maintenance schedule makes me test his instant reactions and authority (which could just be a firm word or look.) This act instantly wakes up my submission which reconnects us ever deeper...

Lovingdd's latest "Asking" article is very beneficial in this example. Bratting can be a very negative experience if the woman is left and not disciplined. As the woman pushes her man to the limits of his patience, her man may become more reluctant and reticent to give her the punishment she needs. In such a case where there ought to be connection, unity and love is replaced with lack of trust, isolation and complete misunderstanding on both sides. Asking for a spanking would replace the agro and negative tension with positive vibes. Asking can be an immensely humbling and embarrassing experience for the woman. The act of asking, will bring out the natural expression of her man's deep masculine authority and other such energies, as he taps into the core of her womanhood and submission. Wow, I think I would regard "asking" as the crème de la crème of submission. It would be like riding on the peak of a wave...

After my spanking yesterday, travelling up North for seven hours on the bumpy coach was quite painful whilst sitting on my sore and tender bottom! I sent R a text hoping for a little sympathy, but all I got was: “Good, now you will have something to think about for the rest of your journey!”

Yes, I certainly did have something to think about. It’s amazing how a sore bottom can make you feel so loved!!


Sunday, May 07, 2006

~ My “Good” Girl Spanking ~

R has increased my weekly Maintenance Discipline to twice weekly. For the last few months my Maintenance Discipline was solely administered to eradicate my most serious misbehaviour. Because it was administered for this purpose, it was conveying a “negatively” reinforced message to attain a positive outcome i.e. “You mustn’t engage in this damaging misbehaviour.” I’ve never yet had the benefit of a Maintenance Discipline for no reason than to reinforce my submission conveying a “positively” reinforcing message i.e. “Good girl, this spanking is to ensure the continuation of your very good progress and behaviour.”

I will, therefore, be getting two Maintenance disciplines at the weekend when R is home. Today was my first ever good girl spanking. I feel wonderful as a result! My HOH feels wonderful too. When I asked R what the difference was for him, between the two types of Maintenance, he told me that Maintenance for my most serious misbehaviour is always fraught for him. He worries that if he doesn’t deliver it with enough tenacity, I might transgress and he will feel partly to blame. I never had any idea he felt in some way responsible if my behaviour does slip – this now makes me feel doubly guilty and determined not to let the side down!

I always erroneously believed, that whether my behaviour was good/bad was very much down to me. That R’s contribution as my HOH some how abstained him from any direct involvement, regarding my misbehaviour and only brought his attentions to play when I needed discipline. However, in light of my HOH’s recent revelations about feelings of direct responsibility for my misbehaviour, does highlight the combined team effort needed in Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle to make it work.

Our interchanging roles of being both active and passive at different times weave themselves through our daily lives. R's role as HOH is mostly active as the leader and guide and mine is passive as his follower. But at times, R’s dominance is very much felt, understood and respected in a passive sense. He only has to look at me, or call me “K” and I know that my behaviour is displeasing to him. At other times his approach is active when he is directly involved in disciplining me by administering a firmly spanked bottom. Likewise, there are times my role is passive when I’m presenting my bared bottom over his knee for his attentions. At other times it is active, when I have Non-Spanking Punishments to fulfil such as extra chores, essay or line writing, etc…

Lovingdd’s recent addition to his Maintenance Discipline article “Part Two” makes a very valuable insight into the dynamics and benefits of regular Maintenance Discipline.


Artist: Paula Russell

Thursday, May 04, 2006

New Link

I have added a new link to the right hand side of the link section. A blog called “A Cry in the Dark” by “wistfulwench.” The lady whose blog this is, has offered me some very good suggestions regarding submission. All I can say is a very big thank you to her! :D

The Submissive Wife Project (SWP) has been excellent so far!

The warm welcome I’ve received and genuine nurturing, support and friendship has been out of this world! The small community of women gives the feeling of being very close knit, with everyone looking out for each others welfare. The ethos is truly amazing! Nobody really knows who is following BDSM or DD type practises and nobody cares. We are all there for the sole purpose of supporting each other through our submission.

According to one of my LDD friends this project is apparently very difficult to get into. I therefore, feel extremely privileged that I was given a place! I have already made three postings and must confess that I was a little tentative about mentioning spanking ~ I didn’t quite know how it would be received to openly admit that my HOH disciplines me…? However I’m glad I was brave enough because I believe it went down well!

Although I have internalised, conceptualised and contextualised all themes relating to Loving Domestic Discipline, I still feel ashamed to openly proclaim my beliefs publicly. I believe with all conviction, that for a man to discipline his woman, is the most loving act he can bestow. I whole heartedly believe, that being firmly spanked is a natural and healthy need for women and wanting such a spanking (consciously/unconsciously) is simply a natural and healthy expression of a woman’s needs. However, OPENLY admitting to such a claim is a very different matter! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all buy houses in the same neighbourhood and live as a real LDD community? It would be wonderful if we could openly express who we are without a constant need to hide and hang our heads low in shame?

One of the big questions is how we are to go about normalising LDD?

I think, to make LDD more acceptable, we need to consider ourselves as pioneers and disciples of LDD - by doing small things like starting new blogs and publicly proclaiming our beliefs. We also need to knit more as a community. There seems to be an unspoken undertone of hostility against some of the minority groups. Whilst this hostility exists, we will never successfully achieve the plight for normalisation…

We really need to concentrate on our similarities, not differences…

So what is the common thread that holds ALL of our community together? Well I believe (I may of course be wrong) that LDD, BDSM, D/s and M/s are all bound together by the common thread of “submission” and “authority.” This common thread is no minor subsidiary, rather it is the pivoting point and foundation for all our practises. I am not a BDSM practitioner, nor in a D/s nor M/s relationship, but I readily accept that many of the people in these different groups, know and are so much more better equipped at being submissive than I’ll ever be! Just because I don’t like red wine and you do it doesn’t mean we can’t share a meal together and enjoy the steak? We really need to share our ideas so we can learn from one another. We really need to tolerate each others differences, whilst remaining strong, confident and true to our own convictions and lifestyles. Without a more liberal and accepting attitude we will forever remain static and our lifestyles will never normalise…

I will be really busy from May 10th until the 22nd so I’m afraid I won’t be blogging during that time. Whilst I’m away, I hope (time permitting) to carry on with an essay I started a while back about the effects of Loving Domestic Discipline on femininity… I started it about a month ago, but then things got very hectic so I was unable to continue.

All the best :-)