Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hello Readers!

Dear readers,

I am so sorry for not writing for such a long time. I am not even sure if anyone visits this site any more? I have been incredibly busy. I will try, however, to post more frequently.

I am in the process of writing a book on all disciplinary aspects from the inner child all the way up to the inner slut. Some of the disciplines are not solely dependent on pain (particularly the inner child) but on deeper levels of humiliation. Deeper levels of humiliation in turn unlock the very centre of a woman's submission. It is only through the very deepest humiliation can a woman truly come face to face with the very heart of her submission. In doing so, the book hopes to clarify that there would no longer be any limits or barriers to "any" disciplinary technique. Many barriers are psychological blocks. By overcoming these blocks the woman will have reached the ultimate and absolute depth to her submission.

I hope to have this book finished early next year, or even sooner if time prevails! ;-)



Saturday, October 27, 2007

Essay – When the HOH Does Something Wrong

This essay will examine the possibilities of when the male HOH (Head of House) does something wrong and how the woman should react from a Loving Domestic Discipline perspective. This is an incredibly sensitive topic, and quite a difficult issue to discuss, but nevertheless, it is one which frequently crops up in various LDD discussions. I believe that it is both important and necessary for submissive women to know how to best approach issues such as this. However, due to this highly sensitive subject I hope not to cause offence to any HOHs reading this essay. If I do then I most humbly apologise.

It is extremely important to stress that “wrongness” as discussed in this essay, does not mean questioning our HOHs rules simply because they do not suit us as women! It is imperative for the women reading this essay to understand this. In a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship any masculine wrongness ONLY comes into question if and when the HOH has foreseen his mistake and told his woman about it. Good leaders always admit to having made a mistake - it is part of their true greatness and integrity as men. The HOH after all sees the bigger picture, often a picture women are not always aware of. What women may foolishly perceive as “wrong” may turn out perfectly “right” in the end. We do not always know our HOHs plan. He makes the rules and we follow. The HOH is supreme ruler of his household. The woman succumbs to a male led relationship and unquestioningly obeys his authority.

No HOH is incapable from making mistakes. No HOH is infallible. HOHs are not God or godlike. They are human and make errors like the rest of us. The only difference is that when a woman does something wrong she is accountable for her misbehaviour to her HOH and is punished for it via lovingly applied discipline. When the HOH does something wrong he is accountable to no one but himself or God. For this reason it can be especially hard when the HOH does make a mistake, it can be especially isolating for him. As women we know that a spanking has the powerful effect of instantly absolving any guilt we have felt prior to our correction. The aftermath of our spanking leaves us cleansed, reconnected, redeemed and forgiven as we weep remorsefully in our HOH’s arms. But when the HOH does something wrong, more often than not he becomes scrutinised and doubted by his woman in his resolve as an effective leader and HOH.

I think as women we demand too much from our HOH - we can sometimes place unrealistic and godlike expectations on him. Whilst it is true that our HOH is in a position of authority and leadership, he is nevertheless a man and not someone with superhuman powers. People in authority do make mistakes, but this does not change the fact that they are in authority. Sometimes our HOHs decisions are right and sometimes they are wrong. It is a submissive wife’s duty to accept this and expect the inevitability that mistakes can and will be made.

What should the woman do when the HOH does something wrong?

It is the woman’s duty as a loving partner or wife to support her HOH through whatever wrong decision or action he may have made. It is a woman’s duty as a loving wife to forgive her HOH, just like the many times he has forgiven her. With her love, submission, understanding and support her HOH will cherish his woman for this strength. Some people wrongly assume that a submissive woman is weak, but nothing can be further from the truth. It can be at highly emotionally tense times like these that the woman’s submission and strength are tested to their limits.

Whilst it is true that a wife has many duties of love and support to her husband, as a LDD wife her responsibilities are increased. When a leader makes a mistake he is often the one who will suffer the most. Men do not talk about emotional problems with friends in the same way as women. When a leader makes a mistake (particularly if it is a big one) he will often question his own leadership skills and authority. It is extremely difficult for the HOH to exert authority over his wife if he has done something wrong. It is, therefore, imperative for the woman to show inordinate amounts of submission, obedience and respect so as to boost her HOH’s resolve. This will show him that she will always yield to his decisions and understands when mistakes are made.

HOHs will only start to forgive themselves if his loving wife has forgiven him. Usually being verbally told you forgive someone is not as affective as being shown that you forgive them. Both verbally telling and physically showing the HOH that he is forgiven is paramount to re-establishing harmony and balance in the home. The quiet non-verbal acts of everyday service she performs as a loving submissive wife will encourage her HOH that he is a good, valued and worthy leader.

Many women who are new to the Loving Domestic Discipline relationship feel that it is not fair that their HOH is not spanked for doing something wrong, when they themselves are spanked for wrong doing. It takes a while for these women to understand the dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. The most fundamental reason for so many women desiring to live in a LDD relationship is to discover their submission and true femininity. Once they start to recognise and welcome their submissive urges and instincts they become immersed in their own feminine centre and sexuality. The discovery of their true feminine nature makes them reconnect with both their inner child and inner slut. Such reconnection makes them much more at peace and harmony with themselves. Growing deeper in submission is the one objective that women strive for in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship and this can only be achieved by adhering to male authority.

When a man takes authority over his household and becomes HOH his wife must learn very quickly that any decision he makes is his to make. His wife may offer her opinions and talk to her HOH at some length, but at the end of the discussion, the HOH makes the final decision. He may change his mind later, but he alone has the overall responsibility for his family. A submissive wife should never question her husband’s authority. I believe that one of the reasons for the decline in marriage and why so many people have returned to LDD, is that society has taught us to view family life as individuals. Viewing life from an egotistically individualistic perspective severely hampers us from the unity and partnership required in a marriage. Being a partnership means acting as a team, the husband being the head of that team and his wife the helpmate of that team. As with all teams - rules prevail, the HOH sets those rules and his woman obeys.

It is only natural for the woman to be angry with her HOH, but she must exercise self-control and not allow her emotions to take over. She must take time to reflect on what went wrong and what part (if any) she had in her HOH’s wrong doings. It is her duty as a wife and part of her marriage vows to aid and support her husband through any problems he may have inadvertently caused.

Sometimes looking at the suffering of others can take the pain of our own suffering away, or lessen it considerably. Sometimes looking at people who have shown particular courage can overshadow our own suffering. One broadcast I found particularly memorable, was the remarkable strength of character Alan Johnston, the BBC Gaza correspondent showed when he was held in captivity. In a recent Panorama documentary, he revealed that the only thing that he had that the guards could not take away, was his self-control. He refused to break down into depression and kept his mind as active and positive as possible. Watching him speak, I couldn’t help thinking what remarkable leadership/HOH qualities he had. Most people would have broken down at the prospect of thinking that everyday may be their last. Not many people can claim such strength of character.

Strength of character is something that women must work on. Women living the Loving Domestic Discipline way of life are not doormats or spineless individuals. As women admire men who show strength of character as true leaders, men also admire women who show strength of character. If something were to happen to the HOH where the woman must fend for herself, then the HOH must know that his woman is strong and capable. If the HOH makes a big mistake where the repercussions will affect the whole family, the HOH needs to know that his woman is strong and capable to help pull him and their family through. Sometimes women can be so wrapped up in their own (relatively small) sufferings that they don’t look at all the wonderful things that they do have. Health, wealth and family life can become almost like a given right, so that when things do go wrong it can seem like a devastation.

It is important for women to realise that there is no pain too great. Even trust once broken can be rebuilt…

What the woman should not do when the HOH does something wrong!

Women engaging in a Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle should never lose control of their emotions. Whilst emotions are good, positive and natural, losing control by allowing rage and anger to consume the woman is very bad. If the woman does lose control and starts yelling, throwing objects, cussing or (heaven forbid) physically lashing out at her HOH, she should be spanked immediately, swiftly and severely – no matter what crime her HOH is guilty of! The woman would not be spanked for her HOH’s wrong doing (as some women foolishly think) but would be punished for her own wrongful attitude and/or misbehaviour regarding her HOH’s wrong doing.

Some women think that if the HOH does something wrong then they are miraculously let off the hook. They mistakenly think that they have gained the moral high ground and can let their emotions run riot. Such feminine misbehaviour should be severely dealt with. The dynamics of Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle is all to do with the synergy between the masculine and feminine energies. The woman has gone to great lengths to remain at her most submissive and the HOH has gone to great lengths to keep her there. The woman should value her submission more than anything else, since it is an integral part of her. Her submission is who she is, what she is and how she behaves. Coming out of this most natural and feminine state for even a moment, would jeopardise the woman’s true identity and expression of her womanhood. If the woman is in an absolute rage and feels that her emotions are ready to wreak havoc, then she should submissively ask her HOH to spank her (pre-emptively or stress relief) in order for her to maintain her optimum level of submission. Once the woman has been soundly spanked and has reached catharsis, she is then in a position to calmly talk to her HOH about any hurt feeling she may have. Discussing her sorrow of being let down by her HOH after a spanking can be very effective since the woman will now be in a calmer state of mind and heart. After her spanking the woman will be more coherent, thus will be in a position to apply reasoning as to why her HOH did what he did. Such reasoning leads to a greater understanding and true empathy and compassion for how her HOH must be feeling, which in turn leads to true healing and forgiveness.

Sometimes the woman may be perfectly calm, but may submissively offer herself to be spanked as a way of releasing her HOH’s tension. At other times the woman may be calm but may miss this wonderful opportunity of submissive service to her HOH. Her HOH can instruct a “just because” spanking himself to relieve his stress, or can instigate a “submission spanking” to his woman for not being alert to his needs by submissively offering this herself.

When the HOH does something wrong or hurtful, the first thing that many women feel they must to do, is talk to their female friend. Whilst it is only natural that she may want to do this, such an action could have serious repercussions, particularly if her friend is not from a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. If the female is her friend and not a mutual friend, then any support that the woman will receive will be bias and may not consider the HOH or the unity of their marriage. Furthermore, since women’s emotions have a habit of becoming overwrought and over exaggerated, when the two women get together all havoc could let lose. Any support could result in making things worse by spurring the woman onto increased bouts of rebellion and other misbehaviour. So, at best, talking with another female could result in idle and hurtful gossip about the HOH, or at worse, the female friend may have planted ideas of divorce and other terminally infectious thoughts into the woman. The female friend may even make the woman feel guilty or weak for wanting to stay with her HOH.

Discussing problems with another submissive woman would be ideal, particularly if the other woman is from a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. A woman who submissively lives the same lifestyle would be best suited to giving advice, offering support and a shoulder to cry on. This is because the submissive friend would strive to encourage and support her friend’s submission to her HOH at this difficult time. As a counterbalance it would be even better to also seek advice with another HOH, particularly if he is a friend of the woman’s HOH. The one good solid thing which men are renowned for is that they don’t allow their emotions to take control of them. Asking another HOH is also a good choice because he will be able to examine her HOHs wrong doing objectively, from a masculine perspective and then offer his views accordingly.

To conclude,

In a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship a HOH’s wrongness can only be regarded as a mistake if he tells his woman that he has made a mistake. All acts of wrongness that the woman “perceives” or “imagines” should be put down to feminine interference/control and punished accordingly. HOHs are not godlike or infallible and are prone to human errors, like everyone else. This does not detract or discredit them from being good leaders and HOHs.

A lovingly submissive wife should always strive to support her HOH by forgiveness, compassion and understanding. Her submissive acts of service to her HOH will encourage her HOH’s resolve as her leader when he may doubt his own strengths in this area. Maintaining submission, even in the bleakest times is imperative. Discontinuing a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship in trying times would be like throwing the baby out with the bath water. It is at the times when our lives hit rock bottom, that the need for the stabilising effects of LDD are most needed.

Self-control at these testing times is paramount. The woman should not allow her emotions to control her. The woman should submissively ask for stress relief spankings to relieve some of her pent up anger and frustration. Any outward displays of passion or tantrums should be punished severely. The woman should also offer herself to be spanked as a way of helping her HOH to alleviate his stress. Offering this service is a non-verbal service which strengthens and re-establishes the HOH’s authority. This small act of service is especially important when the HOH’s beliefs in himself as leader might be wavering.

Discussing private matters with a third party should be broached very carefully. Choosing a friend who is in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would be ideal. Any support offered would include the couple as a unit and not from an individual perspective. Any support would strive to reinforce the woman’s submission and obedience to her HOH’s authority. Choosing a LDD friend would be highly beneficial, since all support given would strive to put them back in touch with the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, which is all about building stronger marriages by creating unity, harmony, forgiveness and love.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Announcement - Changes

Dear readers,

I have been busy making several changes on this site. The first change is the creation of a new site, C's loving Domestic Discipline Bulletin Board where all the news and announcements will be posted from now on. Initially, when I posted an announcement, my intention was to delete it as soon as it was obsolete. However, many dear readers wrote comments under these announcements, so there was no sure way of deleting the post without deleting reader's comments as well. The Bulletin Board will hold all the announcements in one place which seems more practical and can be accessed by following the link "Announcements" on the right hand side of this page, above the "Previous Posts" section. This will be my last announcement posting on this site, so I urge you dear readers to frequently visit the Bulletin Board if you want to keep updated with the latest news in the LDD community. There is some talk of another LDD get together (organised by someone else) so if you missed the conference in Atlanta, new plans are being drawn out, as I speak!

The second change I made was to add just a little information of who I am into the "My Complete Profile" section. It is very unfortunate that within the LDD community people are desperately holding onto their anonymities. But to raise awareness of this wonderful lifestyle we are going to have to come out of hiding at some point. By staying hidden, we are inadvertently telling people who do discover us, that we are hiding because we are ashamed to be practising Loving Domestic Discipline. I am just as guilty of this as the majority of LDD practitioners, but hopefully I will continue to make steady progress in being less guarded. Another problem with staying hidden is that we are never going to achieve a society that readily accepts or even favours the traditional marital aspects that LDD has to offer. It is our responsibility to take steps to create a better world for our children, where they can grow in the comfort and confidence of who they are, what their gender identity is and what their future roles are as a steadfast HOH and naturally submissive wife.

All my best to you all,


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Unkind Comments

Although negative comments are extremely rare, there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly hurt when people do attack the LDD lifestyle. I have tried to step back and analize why I am affected so much? I think that the answer (for me at least) is very simple. LDD is a fundamental part of me and expresses who I am as a woman at a very deep level; therefore, to attack LDD is a blatant discrimination of me, of who I am. When I first came into the blogging world, I came with a defence built around me, protecting my femininity. If anyone were to attack the LDD lifestyle back then, I would have attacked back with the same ferocity. However, belonging to a community has gradually allowed me to cast off my layers of defence. It has made me accept, understand and truly value who I am. But, coming out of my shell has unfortunately left me vulnerable to being hurt when (in the rare times) attack does come my way.

I have never really been overly comfortable calling LDD a “lifestyle,” I only do so since this is how it is often referred to. Living in a LDD relationship is instinctual. A lifestyle implies that there is an element of choice of whether you follow the criteria set up, or choose to ignore it. LDD is not a lifestyle choice (for me at least) since it is a necessary component which answers that which is deeply embedded and woven into the fabric of who I am. I cannot disengage from it; I have no choice but to live and breathe it. Any attack on LDD, therefore, is a personal attack on my womanhood.

Perhaps people do not realise the hurt that thoughtless comments can make? After all, an attack on someone who may be in the BDSM community or is a Spanko, perhaps wouldn’t cut as deep? This is because people choose to follow their particular kinks by engaging in BDSM or fun type of spankings because they want to. They have a choice in the matter, once they get bored they move onto new horizons – fetishes can and do change. I, on the other hand, do not have a choice; the implementation of LDD is an integral part of me as a woman. LDD is naturally consensual, so in that respect (at least at the very beginning of the relationship) a choice needs to be made. However, as time progresses, many women feel that LDD becomes a necessary expression of their femininities. It becomes a necessity (rather than choice) since it enables them to express the very depths of their femininity and submission - the epitome of who they are as women.

Even during day to day engagements with her HOH, a woman can feel immersed in his masculine energy. Even the most subtle “covertly” sexual responses from him, make her feel the inner stirrings from deep within her womanhood. It doesn’t even have to be directly sexual, just the sound of his voice, his movements, the sight of his belt or his very presence can instil inordinate amounts of respect and submission in the woman. Some critics of LDD may disagree and question whether submission has anything to do with femininity. I believe (from personal experience)that submission brings a woman deeply in touch with her inner psyche, where she becomes aware of her true expressions of self; her realization of what it is to be a true woman; her awareness of her sexual femininity and inner slut instincts.

I have spent too many years of my life feeling guilty and apologising for my innate desires to express my submission and surrender myself to the influence of a powerful man. But now, I refuse to feel guilty for my natural instincts and urges. After all, why should I when they are completely normal and inborn? I do accept that there may be people who do not understand LDD, which is quite understandable. There are many things that I do not profess to understand. But in not understanding something, I would never feel myself worthy to judge, condemn or criticise.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Homemade Implements

Thank you to the HOHs who have sent details on how to make various implements!

Below is a description of their craftsmanship.

Eric wrote:

Some ideas on making paddles.

A good paddle is, in my opinion, like a good woodworking tool. It is well balanced, solidly constructed, comfortable and safe to use. In short, it does the job it is intended for and becomes a pleasure to use (at least for the HOH). This is one very good reason for making your own since shop bought paddles are unlikely to have all of the right features to suit you. Another reason is that it is a simple construction that is well within the skills of anyone with even modest woodworking experience. My personal preferences are for paddles that are:

  1. Constructed of a good quality wood – I usually recycle "found" hard woods from a variety of sources and some of these are excellent for the job. They are dense, so are more effective during punishment but even more important, they can be shaped and smoothed without any splits or splinters so often found in cheaper woods. They are also beautiful and can be kept in top condition with a little olive oil. I would avoid Mahogany because it is likely to split in use. Some of the modern hard woods used in chopping boards are good because the manufacturers have already thought about durability, splitting, warping and visual appeal. They are also cheaper than shop bought paddles and can be sustainably sourced.
  2. Shaped with a curve on one side and flat on the other. This is best done with a spoke shave or draw knife and finished off with a plane. This is not essential but it does give a variety of sensation during use and is a sign of quality.
  3. Quite long, approximately 12-14 inches in total length. This gives good leverage and swing.
  4. Not too wide, approximately 3-4 inches. A narrower paddle is easier to swing and stings more sharply.
  5. Quite thick to ensure a solid finish that is unlikely to split.
  6. Made with a rounded handle rather than one that is the same thickness as the paddle itself. This is easy to achieve by gluing the spare cut from either side of the handle onto the handle and again shaping with a spoke shave. If you want to make a proper job that will last a lifetime, drill two countersunk holes through this sandwich and rivet with brass, just like a Chef's knife handle. Try to make the handle an appropriate size for your own hand. If that technique does not appeal, then what about a whipped handle? Whipping (in this context) simply means binding the handle tight and evenly with waxed twine as found on some sporting bats or yachting ropes. I suggest you try out some kitchen implements to see which handle size and shape is best.
  7. Finished to a high quality. This is much easier with hard woods, especially if care is taken with sanding. Hand sanding from 90 through to 400 grit sand papers is ideal. If your wood is porous then cellulose sanding sealant can be bought from any woodturning specialist shop or the better hardware shops. This fills the pores before sanding and gives a much better finish.
  8. Untreated with varnish. What is the point of putting all that care into making a fine wooden paddle and denying yourself and your woman the tactile pleasures of the wood itself? If you want a dry polish, then a little furniture or bees wax is excellent. My preference is a drop of olive oil occasionally which soaks into the wood, keeping it supple. You can even introduce the maintenance of the paddle's polishing as a discipline :)
  9. Plain. However, if your carving skills are up to it and you want to name it, then a small inscription at the junction between the handle and paddle is a good idea. If you have not tried it before I suggest plenty of practice as this is the area you are most likely to make a mistake on.

There are no hard and fast rules to design, finish or dimensions. However, whatever the final design you choose, like craftsmen of old who made their own woodworking tools, there should be a pride in the workmanship that will signal to your woman that you have put love and care into it just like the love and care that will go into its application. This is the main reason for making your own paddle – your authority as HOH will be enhanced and your woman will feel she is being intimately disciplined by a caring person who loves her enough to take care of even the smallest details.

User577 wrote:

All the raw materials I purchased were from Wal-Mart, Home Depot, or Tractor Supply. The biggest thing I learned is that the simplest things are the best. They also cost next to nothing. The total cost of the finished items was about $75. The most expensive single item to make was the metal handled flog. The easiest was the plastic coat hanger. All of the items are very portable. Everything is safe; the possibility of injury is proportional to the force of the strikes or the duration of the spanking. I rank the items about medium on the noise scale. Someone in the next room would know what's going on but someone down the hall wouldn't. That is separate from the noise of the recipient though, which could be much louder. None of the items took more than an hour to make. Most took much less. Most of the items run to the “stingy” side and don't require much force to use.

There are 2 overall winners based on all of your criteria: the “carpet beater”and the plastic coat hanger. The plastic coat hanger can deliver quite a bit of sting and is very responsive to the amount of force in the swing (i.e. light swing=light sting, hard swing=lots of sting). The only modification was the clipping of the actual “hanger” part. To use it, just hold one end and land the other where you want to put the love. The force seems to be restricted to the “U”-shaped end. It's not very loud but does make a lovely “swish” as it cuts the air. The “carpet beater” as I call it (to camouflage it's real purpose) is inspired by the “loppy-johnny” you have pictured. It was made by taking two 3ft. lengths of coax cable (the cable that connects TV's, DVD's, etc.), folding them in half, and securing the end with duct tape to make a handle. It is about the same diameter as the coat hanger but has more “oomph”. It also appears stiffer than the loppy-johnny. This comes from the wire core and shielding. It holds its shape but is somewhat flexible. I think the total cost is around $6. It was free for me because I had so much extra around.

The wooden yardstick gets an honorable mention. It was about $3, it needed no modification, and it appears very vanilla. It extends my reach and probably delivers more thud than the other items. It also serves double-duty as a crop or pointer for me when I'm administering discipline. The only drawback is portability. In a pinch, you could just buy one when you get where you're going and just leave it behind when you're done.

The winner in the portability and noise department is the “Catholic discipline”. It is just a small flog for self-flagellation. I got the idea here: This one is made from a wooden bracelet and four 6 ft. leather shoe laces (cut to 3 ft. lengths). It is also stingy and could be made from a variety of materials.

The plastic shoehorn was $1-$2 and is very light weight. It seems better for delivering love and discipline to more tender parts of the anatomy because even a hard swing won't generate as much force. It can be more stingy or thudy based on the technique used.

The metal handled flog is the most elaborate and expensive single item. The total cost was about $14, mostly because of the pipe. It could be made cheaper and lighter with PVC pipe. The handle is made from a piece of galvanized pipe, a cap, and a reducer. All of the parts thread together and it's wrapped in rubber grip tape. The working end is made from window screen spline cut to about 20 in. lengths. The pieces of spline are squeezed through the reducer and glued together to stay in the handle. The spline itself is about ¼ in. in diameter and has lengthwise ridges. The cross section looks like a 10-pointed star. I don't know if the ridges contribute anything to it's feel but they sure look menacing. This tool requires care on my part because it generates a lot of power with little effort. We still haven't taken it to it's maximum capacity yet.

~C~ wrote:

Unfortunately, I have had to delete/edit some of the above post since the corresponding pictures sent by the poster could not be loaded by blogger. I have only edited/deleted the parts which were referring to the pictures.

An engineer wrote:
(from comments)

Someone asked what to use to make a Loopy John. Try a thin power cord. In the USA it is called "Zip cord." Size 18 is thin; 16 and 14 are thicker. This is oval since there are two wires and each is surrounded by rubber insulation. It can be used as the double but it is more consistant if the Zip cord is split first and then used as single pieces. MAKE SURE THE METAL IS TOTALLY COVERED.

Another possibility is to use a thin metal hanger just the way it is. If the buttocks is hit with just the last few inches of the "C" part, parallel to the buttucks, at exactly the right angle, it behaves like a miniature cane, stings with a deep sting and nasty bite, and then leaves a nifty red mark ten to twenty seconds later. A few degrees off and only the tip of the "C" will mark and the pain will be much less. It will take some experimenting to get the angle and the intensity of the stroke correct. Practice EASILY at first and get lots of feedback from your bottom. Or practice on yourself on your inner thigh. A picture is worth a thousand words. Remember you should be LOVING your spouse or significant other. The hanger is almost silent. The bottom's gasp will certainly be louder than the actual sound of the hit.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Announcement - New blogs

Dear readers,

I would like to draw your attention to three new blogs. The first two AKB My Life and CDB My Life are written by a husband and wife team who are just starting on their journey into Loving Domestic Discipline. It is a wonderful and truthful account about their trials and tribulations into this lifestyle. It is very interesting to read one of their posts followed by the corresponding male/female version - in that sense it is rather unique! The ups and downs they experience are reminiscent of the ups and downs experienced by R and myself 22 years ago when we first embraced DD. AKB is a very independent and feisty woman (just like me) whilst CDB is a very laid back HOH (just like R.) I find that reading their blog is like looking in a mirror into our past. However, with Mr Lovingdd's site and other helpful sites pointing the way to marital harmony, I'm sure it won't take long for this couple to fully accept their roles as a submissive wife and authoritative husband! The love and tenderness that this couple have for each other comes through in their writing. I would very much like to encourage people to leave some advice or positive comment for this couple. Blogging can be a very lonely business. Starting in a LDD relationship can also be pretty isolating. I am sure that all feedback would be very much appreciated by them.

The third blog I would like to draw your attention to is called Marriage Bliss it is written by a HOH about his submissive wife. The following is an extract from his profile:

"For 1000’s of years men and woman have lived in the state of marriage. Timeless truths about how a marriage blossoms into a blissful existence are well proven. Modern couples have been fed ideas that only result in conflict, misery and both being desperately unhappy. I am head of my household, a position that enables me to devote myself to the care of my wife. She is the most perfect being, I worship her daily, I provide for her and I protect her. We have marriage bliss and bliss can be yours for the asking!"

It isn't often we come across a hidden treasure like this! I felt that discovering this blog was truly like discovering a diamond in the rough! The love and immense appreciation this HOH has for his wife's submission is evident in his writing! Posts include "How a submissive wife should present herself," " The seven foundations of being a submissive woman" and "A man's ongoing work in training a woman to be submissive." There are many more posts besides these.... The HOH writing this blog tends to keep the disciplinary aspects in his relationship private. He will refer to women needing discipline if certain expectations are not met, but that is all. His main thrust, is that a submissive woman strives to please her HOH and avoid punishment at all costs. This is truly a remarkable blog and truly worth a visit!

I would like to apologise to those readers who sent in details of how to make various implements. I have been away from home (and the computer recently) but can assure you that the very next post will be on this. I will try to post it as soon as possible.

My best to you all,


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Essay - LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3)

This essay will conclude the trilogy of essays on LDD & the Intelligent Woman. LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1) discussed the damaging effects that society has had on the essence of a woman’s femininity. LDD, Regression & the Intelligent Woman (2) discussed the rediscovery of lost femininity through the inner child which facilitated a new sexual awareness of femininity through the inner slut. In this essay, LDD, Discipline & the Intelligent Woman (3) we will discuss the effects of Loving Domestic Discipline on the independent woman. The disciplinary effects both in relationship to the inner child and inner slut will be examined. It must be pointed out, however, that this essay is examining the opposite ends of both poles. The extremities on either side of the spectrum will probably not appeal to most Loving Domestic Discipline practitioners. I would imagine that most people’s version of the LDD lifestyle, falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. Statistically speaking, it would seem probable that the practitioners of the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, would fall close to the median. Whether it would resemble a bell shaped (Gaussian distribution) with the distribution falling more in the middle, or skewed to one side (of either the inner child or inner slut) is hard to say without research. Because of the sexually explicit content in relation to disciplining the woman’s inner slut, some readers may find the content deeply offensive. It will, therefore, be necessary to discuss the benefits, without going into any graphic descriptions or intimate details of such discipline.

The more intelligent, academic or independent a woman is, the more she will have built a wall of defence around her femininity. Both highly independent and academic women strive to achieve and make their mark on the world. As they strive to leave their mark, they usually find themselves in a world where it is essential to put on a tougher outer appearance in order to become successful. This pseudo masculine mask eclipses all traces of their true feminine selves. Society has duped them into thinking that being feminine is somehow weak, girly and frivolous; therefore, to successfully compete with their rivals, they must foil their true natures under a tougher masculine persona. One extreme example of such a woman is Margaret Thatcher (ex Prime minister to the British Conservative Party.) It is quite interesting to watch her transformation whilst she was first appointed into office, to her later years. From a fairly feminine woman with a soft voice, she emerged into a woman people would fear, even her voice dropped to be husky and hoarse like a man’s. It is no surprise, therefore, that intelligent and independent women are more difficult to discipline. The more defence she builds around her femininity the more difficult the task in knocking down the defences to discipline her. HOH’s will find it hard to break down these defences and reach her softer feminine core. She will need stronger techniques to break down her will, which is preventing her from gaining the access to the discipline she so richly needs and deserves.

So what is a successful discipline?

A successful discipline basically, is designed to break down the woman’s will and break down her emotional barriers. This can only be achieved by using methods designed to increase her humiliation. Although humiliation is not much talked about in the LDD community, it is possibly the most central and integral part of the Loving Domestic Disciplinary process. Without adequate humiliation, the woman will never be able to reach her optimum level as a truly submissive and obedient woman. When a woman is more intelligent, independent and assertive, the need for adequate humiliation increases dramatically. This is because women have enshrouded their femininities and built a wall of defence around them. The wall of defence displaces a woman’s natural feminine tendencies, which results in women having an increased ego and arrogance. The increased ego and arrogance can only be accessed and dispelled via humiliation. The humbling effects of humiliation will serve the purpose of bringing the woman to a calmer and submissive state of mind and heart, by doing so she will become more receptive to the guidance and correction from her HOH.

Many women living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are somehow turned off by the word “humiliation.” Some women will vehemently deny the importance of humiliation and claim that it is not at all relevant to them. Humiliation is, however, necessary since it facilitates the disciplinary process. This in turn facilitates the learning process, which helps the woman achieve the optimum state in her humility and submission. Without effective humiliation she will never learn the lessons which she needs to be taught. Loving Domestic Discipline is not solely about humiliation for the sake of it, the HOH doesn’t humiliate his woman to make her feel bad or worthless; he humiliates her because it renders her more submissive. Humiliation is a necessary contingent of the disciplinary process since it results in a successful discipline.

The concept of the inner child and inner slut are often misunderstood, but they are also central to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Having an inner child is not the same as being or behaving like a child; likewise, having an inner slut is not the same as being or behaving like a slut. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel many of the feelings she felt as a child, but still remain a conscious intelligent adult woman. Likewise, Loving Domestic Discipline facilitates the emergence of the woman’s slut instincts. Her inner child is the place where she wants to feel safe, nurtured and protected by her man. It is here where she submits herself freely to the guidance, leadership and correction of her HOH. Her inner slut is the place which is the central expression of her sexuality. It is here where she wants to surrender herself sexually to her HOH. Some women are afraid to release their slut instincts of fear that it may overwhelm them. But it is in the inner slut where the woman’s creations of her sexuality and ultimate feminine energies emerge.

Discipline incorporates the needs of both the inner child and inner slut, it is a dynamic relationship. There will be certain times or misdemeanours which require attention to one or both of these areas. But how does the HOH balance the demands of the inner slut and inner child with discipline? When does he know which is required?

A skilled and wise HOH will be very much in tune with his woman’s emotions. He will instinctively know what area of demand needs to be met to get the best possible results. The following paragraphs will discuss the extremities at both ends of the spectrum. An important reminder, however, is that standard LDD techniques tend to find themselves concentrated in the middle, or erring a little to one side or the other (incorporating and blending the disciplines corresponding to both the inner child and inner slut.) It is unusual (but not impossible) for practitioners to only concentrate efforts on one end of the spectrum, i.e. solely on the inner child or inner slut.

Humiliating the inner child

When humiliating the inner child it is essential to psychologically bring the woman down to a child-like state. Once the woman is in a child-like state, emotionally speaking, she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures. Such procedures are generally aimed at disciplining young children. Both standard LDD and advanced techniques can be used to great effect. The added bonus with using ALDD techniques is that the advanced nature of the disciplines has a much more profound and humiliating effect. If the woman’s HOH finds the LDD methods not significantly humiliating, then he would be best advised to try the advanced disciplinary methods. Advanced LDD techniques correspond to the needs of both the inner child and inner slut.

Humiliation through scolding is essential to break through the adult woman’s defences and tap into her inner child before her punishment. Phrases like “You bad, bad girl, having a tantrum like that!” “You naughty girl” “Come here young lady!” “If you are going to act like a two year old then you will be treated as one!” “You bring your naughty bottom to me for a spanking now!!” Or more emotive/ disappointed type scolding, “Where has my good little girl gone?”

Sometimes the HOH will sit her firmly on his knee to scold her. He will use a condescending tone used for small children so that she can effectively feel that she is in a vulnerable child-like state, thus, feel his “adult” authority over her. Young children do not tend to have much of an attention span; therefore, by holding her chin throughout her telling off, forces her to have direct eye contact with her HOH, this triggers her inner child instincts which serves her in her humiliation.

Corner time is very humiliating and child-like. Being made to stand in the corner with her nose directly touching the wall is humiliating. Corner time type of punishments can also be highly effective if used in a more public area. For example, if she misbehaves in a crowded supermarket her HOH could quietly stand her in a corner of the supermarket for a short period of time. Any passers-by would just think she is taking a long time to assess the quality of the tomatoes! This is effective, however, since no one but the woman and HOH know that she is being disciplined. The crowded public space adds wonders to her increased humiliation.

Bed time as a punishment can be very humiliating, especially if it is early enough (daylight outside) and she is put to bed for the night. Her humiliation will naturally increase if she is put to bed before her own children’s normal bed time. Naturally, her children need not know the reasons for her going to bed before they do. They can just be told that “Mummy isn’t feeling too well,” which (with a freshly spanked bottom) wouldn’t really be too far from the truth! In order to properly access the inner child it is essential for her HOH to actually put her to bed rather than send her to bed. If he undresses her, gets her ready for bed and supervises her going to the toilet and bathing/ brushing her teeth, this will increase her humiliation.

Naturally, combining non-spanking disciplines with a soundly spanked bottom can do wonders to increase the woman’s levels of humiliation and improve the effectiveness of the discipline.

When positioning the woman for an inner child spanking it is important to use positions generally aimed at naughty children. OTK (over the knee) is very important it feels personally connected, vulnerable and child like. Alternatives to this are being spanked in the nappy changing position. Such a position can be deeply humiliating since it exposes a woman’s private parts. This position may trigger feelings of helplessness as experienced by very young children having their nappy changed. Or (depending on her weight and size) being tucked under her HOH’s arm and being spanked standing up. If she is really small in comparison to her HOH and her HOH is strong enough, she can also be hoisted off the floor in such a position. All the HOH has to do is firmly grip hold around the back of her waist and lift her, so that her bottom is parallel with the rest of her body. One of the major benefits of such a punishment is that the elevation and feeling of suspension dramatically adds to the woman’s vulnerability of size compared to her HOH’s. This then adds to the woman’s increased humiliation which has directly accessed her inner child.

Having her panties slowly and firmly pulled down by her HOH, before her spanking, is both humbling and humiliating. Likewise, having her panties pulled back up after her spanking and having her clothes tucked back into her jeans, whilst she is firmly reminded to behave, also adds significantly to the humiliation process. If she is wearing a dress or skirt, it would be more humiliating for the woman if her HOH were to bare her bottom after she has been placed over his knee - simply because it keeps the woman in suspense. Although deep down she knows that each and every spanking is indeed on her bare bottom, allowing for anticipation is very important. Once in a vulnerable position over the knee, the sensation of having her dress or skirt lifted and panties pulled down to her knees or beyond, is very humiliating. If the woman is wearing trousers or jeans, then naturally her HOH will have to pull down her jeans and panties whilst she stands in front him, prior to being placed over the knee. Whilst her HOH is undressing her, he should force eye contact with her and look at her sternly and reprimand her, prior to her spanking.

Such a simple action, such as pulling down a naughty woman’s panties and back up after punishment is very effective. Many women actually find that this very simple act greatly increases their humiliation. Sometimes even the most simplest action can increase a woman's humiliation which help trigger memories of their childhood, thus access her inner child.

Spanking with the hand is very important. The personal connection in a hand spanking is crucial for the inner child, the sense of touch is essential. The HOH is taking the woman back to what it felt like to be disciplined as a small child. He is taking her back to what it feels like to be a little girl again. Being reassured like a little girl by having her hand held through out her spanking, plus comforting her using a soft tone of voice, as if to reassure a terrified child, are all important elements of triggering the emotions inside her inner child.

The actual severity of the spanking is not really the issue here. An inner child spanking is more to do with accessing deep rooted emotions which helps the woman reconnect with her feminine psyche at a much deeper and profound level. A spanking of medium force which goes on for about an hour or more is ideal for tapping into the emotions of the inner child.

If the woman finds it difficult to cry then sometimes connecting with past childhood artefacts such as a teddy can release immediate tears. Just the sight and smell of her teddy can immediately remind her of her childhood. Some women find that taking their teddy with them over their HOH’s knee will induce the onset of tears fairly rapidly. It is amazing how powerful the senses can be. The sense of smell (of smelling that old familiar smell associated with her childhood) can regress the woman right back into feeling some of those powerful emotions she once felt as a child. This is also why a number of women feel that a loud spanking is more effective than a quiet one. In this case the sense of sound (hearing her actual spanking) can instil a greater fear into her, as opposed to an implement which doesn’t emit much sound at all.

Usually after punishing the woman via her inner child, she will feel very emotional and vulnerable. Sufficient aftercare is essential. Even if the spanking wasn’t very hard or severe, emotionally the woman may have been taken to a very frightening place. Some women may have built very strong defences around their femininities; this may have been the first time that they felt connection with their inner child and rediscovered their femininity. If the woman cries for the first time this is a great bonus. Crying after an inner child spanking can render the woman very fragile and clingy to her HOH. She may need to cling to him and cry for a long time. During this time her HOH can hold her, caress her and lovingly reassure her. Whilst being lovingly held on his lap he can wrap her up in a blanket and continue holding her until she falls asleep in his arms.

Humiliating the inner slut

When humiliating the Inner slut it is essential to tap into the foundation of the woman’s sexuality. It is here where her slut instincts and adult femininity originate. Releasing the woman’s inner slut instincts bring a woman in touch with her true femininity and sexual submission. Once the woman is connected with her slut instincts she will readily respond to disciplinary procedures which are highly sexual in nature. Generally, overly sexualising a punishment is not recommended. This is because any lesson that the HOH is trying to communicate to his woman will be lost in the sexual frenzy of their lovemaking. However, giving the woman overtly sexual punishments which act as a discipline, i.e. are sufficiently unpleasant to teach the woman a lesson, are perfectly fine. As long as the woman isn’t readily enjoying her discipline, then it is the HOH’s right as the one who has sole authority over her to derive sexual gratification himself. It is the overtly sexual types of discipline that tease out the very feminine slut urges from the woman.

The submissive innate slut instincts of the woman are awoken whenever a man and his woman make love. They are awoken in every couple world wide, regardless of whether the couple are engaged in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. So in many ways it seems most normal and natural to humiliate and punish the woman’s most central origin of who she is in relation to her HOH. Sexual humiliation can generally have a more profound disciplinary effect and outcome. The woman can feel more humbled, submissive and feminine as her weaker feminine energies touch forces with her HOH’s stronger and more powerful ones.

When scolding the inner slut, it is essential to use words and phrases designed to humiliate the woman and bring her in touch with her slut urges and instincts. It is important to remember, however, that humiliation is not the same as being offensive or abusive to the woman – it is after all a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship they are engaged in. The HOH is not simply being mean to his woman, but is using such phrases as a useful disciplinary tool to try and break through her will. A humiliating scolding can be extremely effective. If the right words and phrases are used the woman will be more receptive to the discipline he is about to administer. Generally, women vary with their responses to certain words or phrases. For example, using the word “slut” wouldn’t be at all effective on those women who are bitterly offended at such a word. Nor would it be effective on women who have no strong reaction to such a word whatsoever. It will only really be effective to those women who feel greatly humiliated by it. It is, therefore, something that the HOH will have to determine for himself. The HOH knows his woman and knows her weak spots and tolerance threshold, so he should know which words would increase her humiliation and which to best avoid. Verbally humiliating his woman is generally very effective since it gets to the very heart of her sexuality and instantly reminds her of her place in relation to her HOH.

There are many non-spanking disciplines which tap directly into a woman’s inner slut. Whether it is increased chores or Obedience Training (ALDD book) the actual humiliation would be heightened if the woman were to be kept nude during the entire time it took to complete her tasks. The fact that she has no clothes immediately places her in a very vulnerable position. This then facilitates her femininity, humiliation and submission. Other non-spanking disciplines which have been proven to have a rapid acceleration in improving a woman’s obedience, submission and humiliation are all found in the ALDD book. In fact most of the techniques in the ALDD book are non-spanking quiet techniques which can prove very effective if the couple have children or friends/family staying.

Another form of non-spanking discipline which is very effective is Tearful Felatio (ALDD book.) This type of discipline (also known in a less sexual guise as the “formal thank you”) is an incredibly poignant way of reconnecting with the HOH after discipline. Many women who have been thoroughly punished by their HOH automatically drop to their knees in a bid to thank and orally reconnect with their man.

The ideal positions for disciplining the inner slut are overtly sexual ones. The more exposure to the woman’s delicate private area, the more vulnerable, exposed and humiliated she feels. Positions which allow such exposure are generally those where the woman is bending over with her legs slightly apart. This can be done by bending down and grasping the ankles or bending over a desk or other low surface. The added advantage to such a position (in punitive terms) is the delicate area is now in full readiness to be spanked by the belt, or some other soft implement which increases the pain and humiliation of her spanking.

Ideally it is best for the woman to be entirely nude for the duration of her inner slut punishments. If she is told by her HOH to strip she must obediently do so. Stripping in front of her stern HOH can render the woman very submissive. She knows that she is not putting on some erotic show by stripping in front of him. Rather she is stripping off her clothes in preparation for her punishment.

An inner slut spanking generally involves a lot of pain to overwhelm the emotional barriers. Tearing down her defensive wall is going against very strong survival instincts. Once the defensive barriers are broken, the woman feels a certain calm transcend over her, it is here where she comes face to face with her femininity and submission. In her calm and contrite state of mind she welcomes the pain as a gift from her man, a gift directly emanating from his sexual authority. This precious gift which he bestows, opens up the very centre of her inner sexual self. It is here where she radiates and blossoms in the essence of her true feminine expressions, of who she is, in relation to her man. It is here where she discovers the hidden depths of her sexuality and submission. She welcomes the pain as an integral part of who she truly is, a crying submissive woman surrendering her feminine energies to her man’s masculine ones. She welcomes the pain since it is caused by her man. Caused by the man she loves, respects and obeys. Given freely from the man who truly loves her, she surrenders herself to the pain which is derived from the very core of his sexual manhood. The pain or humiliation of her punishment puts her directly in touch with her inner slut instincts. Some punishments are more focused on humiliation rather than pain which can have an even greater and more profound emotional effect. The tears, sexual submission and humiliation bind the masculine and feminine energies closer than standard Loving Domestic Discipline. This is because the overtly sexual natures of the discipline, coupled with the overtly humiliating punishments are directly derived from the HOH’s sexual masculine centre. It is this which Drills down to the very epitome of the woman’s inner sexuality and slut instincts. It is this that truly renders her as the missing component of their sexual unity - the missing piece of the jigsaw and corresponding female energy.

Tears before, during and after punishment are not simply a gift but are the greatest gift a submissive woman can give to her man. Cathartic tears are an outward sign which prove to her man without a doubt, that she has entered the depths of her submission. They show her complete willingness to surrender herself to his guidance and correction. Tears not only show her man that his job in disciplining her has been effective, but it reinforces his masculine authority over her. It supports and values his role as the one who has sole authority over her. There is no sight or sound sweeter to an HOH than to see and hear the sight and sound of his woman crying during the punishment process. There is no song more beautiful than a woman crying in full humiliation, when her HOH knows that her tears are the direct cause of his sexual punishment and masculine authority.

Once a fully fledged inner slut punishment is over, aftercare is crucial. The woman will have been stripped of all her dignity, therefore, it is essential for her HOH to build her up again. Building her up will consist of verbal reassurance and praise for her remakable femininity and submission. Some of the techniques used by HOHs to punish a woman’s inner slut can render her very vulnerable. Usually such punishments have taken the woman to a very scary place, it is therefore imperative that she be allowed to cry and cling to her HOH for as long as she needs. Some couples make gentle love after such discipline, whilst others like to leave a sufficient gap after a punishment to cement the lesson her HOH wants her to learn.

To conclude:

Although ALDD/LDD is a dynamic relationship where the interrelationship between both the inner child and inner slut liaise together, this essay has only examined the extremities of each and explored the disciplines in relation to each in an isolated way. It is up to every individual HOH to determine the correct balance at any point in time. There is little point continuing with more standard LDD practises if they are not working. Although it is good for the HOH to be patient with his woman and wait for the results of her impending good behaviour, there are some women who make slow or little progress with the standard LDD techniques. Such women should seriously consider the benefits from advanced LDD which answer the needs to both the inner child and inner slut.

Humiliation is essential during punishment since it opens a woman mind and heart which helps her to focus on her punishment. Without adequate humiliation the woman will never be receptive to her discipline.

Inner child disciplines are covertly sexual in nature. These punishments are designed to allow the woman to connect with her inner child where she feels greater degrees of warmth, trust wonder and safety. Loving Domestic Discipline allows the woman to feel some of these feelings, whilst surrendering her feminine energies to the authority of her HOH.

Inner slut disciplines are overtly sexual in nature. The strong sexual element is used as part of the discipline so that the woman is punished and humiliated in a way that gives her no delusions as to who has sexual authority over her. Sometimes more advanced sexual humiliation is needed to break through a woman’s pride, stubbornness and arrogance.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Essay – LDD, Regression & the Intelligent Woman (2)

Part one of this essay (LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman) examined the negative impact society has had on a woman’s femininity. It considered the fact that western societies have often ridiculed a woman for being female, thus stripping her of the most natural and beautiful expressions of her true self. Part two will investigate those women who have gone against the demands of society and have rediscovered their femininity through the implementation of Loving Domestic Discipline. Regressive types of behaviour will be examined. Although regression is not really openly discussed within LDD circles, it is nonetheless, felt by women to varying degrees. The positive effects of regression such as the results of getting in touch with the “inner child” on an emotional level and connecting with the “inner slut” on a sexual level will be discussed.

Regression may sound like something negative or a bit strange, but really it is a very natural process for any woman living in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. The infringement on society and denial to be allowed to express ones femininity can cause lasting damage to the essence of her womanhood. Loving Domestic Discipline brings a woman back in touch with her femininity. The woman is regressed back to the very essence of what makes her female. She is regressed back not into being a child again, but into feeling many of the liberating thoughts she was once allowed to feel as a child.

Loving Domestic Discipline connects the woman with her inner child, allowing the woman to access the feelings she one felt when she was a child. The feelings of absolute trust and wonder re-emerge as she casts off the barriers that she had built around her femininity. The woman marvels at the world with new eyes, protected by the love and guidance of her man. The woman regresses back to a time when she was allowed to trust absolutely and without question. It takes her back to a time where she was allowed to cry freely and openly. She stops being guarded and allows for all the years of defence to fall away. As she feels the strong inter-connection of masculine and feminine energies, she is immediately placed back to that safe protected harbour she felt as a child.

Reconnection with her inner child does not make her any less intelligent, it simply opens out her femininity. Feeling some of the positive effects from her childhood such as a certain innocence and complete trust takes her back to her feminine core which was denied to her. By being her true feminine self she facilitates her submission to flow as a natural consequence of her womanhood. Loving Domestic Discipline empowers women to be strong and confident in their newly discovered femininities. Women in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship discover that they no longer need to hide behind their pseudo-masculine armour of defence.

When the woman freely hands herself over to a male-led relationship she relinquishes control and becomes more at peace with her true feminine self. By casting off her masculine exterior, she surrenders her femininity to her masculine counterpart. The HOH values the woman’s views, but as head makes the final decisions. This does not make the woman less intelligent or less valuable; it simply plays out their different gender roles. It taps into the innate masculine and feminine energies between them. Some women wrongly assume that men don’t like intelligent women, but nothing could be further from the truth. Most men (at least most good HOH’s) welcome intelligent, well educated women. Whether the woman makes more money than her HOH, or is better educated is irrelevant. What men don’t welcome are women who use their intelligence in a shrill, aggressive and controlling way. Men are natural leaders and protectors; it is unnatural and unfeminine for the woman to fight for leadership within the home.

As her man instructs her to do something – tells her, not asks her, or gives her a bed time, a spanking, or sends her to stand in the corner for misbehaving, the woman is directly consumed in his masculine power and authority. The woman grows deeper in her submission and femininity as she hands herself over to her man’s higher power. The fact that her man is holding her accountable for her actions and modifying her behaviour envelops her in a very deep sense of security, protection and love. Such a deep sense of well being, of being lovingly held and nurtured all echo back to her dim and distant childhood.

The woman’s inner child wants to please and wants so much to make her man proud. Being told that she is a “good girl” empowers her femininity, where she blossoms on his praise. Being told she is a “bad” or “naughty girl” makes her bow in shame. A woman who is connected with her inner child will never feel at ease until she has felt the firmness of his hand or implement striking her bared bottom. The woman connected with her inner child will never feel at ease, until she has been soundly spanked through her tears and forgiven by her HOH. It is her inner child which places inordinate amounts of trust in her man; she trusts that he will correct her misbehaviour, always out of love, never anger or resentment. It is only when a woman is connected with her inner child and comes face to face with her femininity and submission can she feel the exchange of the masculine and feminine energies between them. She feels his disapproval, his power, his authority, intermingled with her fear, guilt, shame and anticipation... The vibes from these two opposing energies draws out the very submissive aspects from her inner self. It draws out the very submissive aspects from her inner child - her femininity.

Regressing back to the safety of childhood and becoming in touch with the inner child allows new feelings to develop, feelings which were not apparent in childhood. These new feelings that emerge are the sexual feelings of a grown woman. A grown woman, who has the same unquestioning trust as a child, surrenders herself with sexual obsequiousness to her man. As the inner child allows the woman to rediscover her femininity, this in turn allows her femininity to discover her inner slut (see quote below). Awareness of her inner slut is derived from and is directly attributable to her natural womanly submission. The sexuality from her inner slut puts her into direct contact with all her desires of sexual surrender, submission and servitude to her man. As her man’s masculinity pours over her she surrenders the very core of her femininity to him.

“A woman's inner slut is a celebration of her femininity, of what makes her different from men and worthwhile in her own right. Every woman's inner slut has unique characteristics, just as each woman has unique characteristics. When a woman learns to accept and to respect her own inner slut, she begins to truly flower in her womanhood.” (Mr Lovingdd’s Inner Slut article)

Since the woman’s trust, wonder, innocence and simplicity were violated by society, rediscovery of her inner child puts her in touch with these feelings once again. These feelings in turn helps her to rediscover her femininity. Although femininity is synonymous with submission, submission with all its complexities can be graded from non-sexual feminine submission experienced during childhood (the child yielding compliantly and obediently to the parent) to grades of overtly sexual womanly submission. Despite the fact that the inner slut finds its expression from the origins of adult sexual submission, a woman will never be able to experience the depths of her submission and connection with her inner slut if she has not first come into contact with her inner child. This is because the inner child is the place which has enshrined her femininity. A woman cannot engage in deeper levels of sexual submission with a masculine armour – she must first be reconnected with her inner child and accept her femininity in all its glory.

Most women will probably find the term “slut” deeply offensive. Some may even go to great lengths to deny that they have an inner slut. There are two reasons for such strong opposition. Firstly, the term “slut” has been regarded by society as something very negative. Nice girls are not supposed to have sexual desires or fantasies which err against the norm. Having sexual desires which are outside the accepted norms, or having a strong sexual drive (as women) is frowned on by society. Secondly, many women are conditioned to being so opposed to this word, that they don’t understand the true meaning behind the term and how it relates to them as women.

So what is the inner slut? The inner slut is the inner most core to a woman’s sexuality, it is the sexual expression of her femininity. Without the inner slut there could never be an inter-play between the masculine and feminine energies. Without the existence of the inner slut the woman would never engage in sex, nor would she be able to live in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Slut is not a derogatory word when used in this sense. It is important to realise that it is perfectly OK to express feminine sexuality and Loving Domestic Discipline allows that expression in a beautiful way – via submission. Having an inner slut and being a slut are two very different notions. Expressing her slut instincts to her HOH in a committed relationship or marriage is both natural and desirable, but this is not the same as being a slut. Outside a committed relationship allowing her slut instincts to wreak havoc, by having non-meaningful uncommitted sex with multiple one night stands would probably be classed as someone engaging in their slut instincts.

Both the inner child and inner slut have been condemned by society. The woman not only had to endure having her feminine spirit crushed and destroyed, but also had society condemn her for having strong sexual feelings and instincts. These instincts of the inner slut are normal and healthy sexual expressions of her femininity. To deny them would be to deny her true self.

“Social opposition to the inner slut has been founded on beliefs that the inner slut would lead to the downfall of civilization and polite behavior, or to a decline in the status of women. Both conservatives and liberals have their own justifications as to why the inner slut cannot, should not and must not exist. These justifications are founded on personal fears rather than on genuine understanding of the feminine psyche.” (Mr Lovingdd’s Inner Slut article)

Society, headed by a band of politicians has unfortunately made many women deeply ashamed of harbouring various sexual fantasies, or for having a strong sexual drive. Having slut instincts or overtly sexual desires which stand outside the social norms (including spanking) can indeed make women feel that they are not “nice,” “polite” women . Both a fear and misunderstanding of the inner slut makes society violently opposed to it. Society warns women that it is not what good, intelligent, nicely brought up ladies engage in.

Women, who have regressed back to the safety of their inner child and experienced the essence of their submission and femininity, can very often express their emotions in different ways. One end of the spectrum shows that some women will immediately call their HOH “Daddy” and will feel a greater need for the more nurturing, fatherly qualities in her man. Some women may even like to sit on his knee so that they can immerse themselves in that protective “father/daughter” environment they once felt in the safety of their childhood. However, the other end of the spectrum shows how some women will feel an overtly prevalent sexuality emerging from their inner slut. The reason why Loving Domestic Discipline is so successful is that it harmonises the needs of both the inner child and inner slut - Loving Domestic Discipline’s techniques and practises balances both of these inner most expressions of womanhood.

The inter-play between the inner child and inner slut must strike a harmonious chord. If too much attention is paid to the inner child then the woman may be exploring re-parenting aspects to her behaviour, too much emphasis paid to the inner slut, on the other hand, may result in sexual promiscuity. A balance between the two is what is needed to bring a sense of poise to the woman. The wise HOH always knows how to address both the needs of the inner slut and inner child by holding the predominant one in check. The dynamics of the relationship are at their most unified if the balance is set right.

The relationship between the inner child and inner slut can be best explained by the diagram below. Connection with the inner child allows for the immediate rediscovery of femininity. This reawakened femininity taps into her feminine submission 1. Submission 1 is the rediscovered submission that was part of her femininity as she was growing up. It is here where she would want to be a “good girl” by pleasing her parents and would be try to obediently comply with what was expected from her. Submission 1 in turn allows her to discover her new womanly femininity. This womanly femininity is aided by the masculine and feminine energies in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship which, in turn facilitates the flow of submission 2. Submission 2, is the woman yielding and surrendering her energies to her man, this is the creation of the woman’s sexual submission which teases out the core of her femininity – her inner slut instincts.

The interplay between the inner child and inner slut can best be described as being on a spectrum. The woman’s psychological behaviours in feeling the emotional connectivity of the inner child and sexual desires of the inner slut can come into play at anytime and move anywhere within the spectrum.

Whilst the extreme needs of the inner child have much of its demands in the emotions, the extreme needs of the inner slut has its demands in sexuality. The interconnectivity between the demands of the inner child and inner slut liaise together. The emotional needs and sexual needs fuse together to become a unified expression of her femininity. As her femininity blossoms she draws herself into deeper levels of submission – this submission becomes her, enshrines her and elevates her. The very depth of her submission epitomises every bit of her womanhood, as she celebrates her newly found emotional, sexual feminine self.

To conclude:

It takes a remarkably strong, capable and intelligent woman to commit herself to a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Both consenting to such a relationship and the effort required on her part, requires a great deal of introspection and self-analysis. It takes a remarkably intelligent and confident woman to know she is in the right and stand her ground against the wave of opposition against her. The more professional and highly skilled the woman, the more likely she is to protect her femininity by building a wall of defence around her. Such women will often be so far removed from their natural feminine instincts that they may predominantly seem to stand out as women in great need of the benefits of LDD. Society has damned and crushed the very spirit out of the woman’s psyche. Both the effects of the inner child (femininity) and inner slut (sexual submission) are distorted and condemned by society.

Regression is a natural and necessary expression of the Loving Domestic Discipline relationship. Without regressing to the inner child, by knocking down the pseudo-masculine exterior, women will never get connected to their femininity, nor experience their sexual submission and inner slut instincts. Without connection to the inner child the inner slut will always be feared by many women. A good HOH strives to balance the interplay between the inner child and inner slut. By doing so the woman is placed at her most optimum level, for discovering deeper and more profound levels of her womanhood.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Essay - LDD, Society & the Intelligent Woman (1)

There is a great deal of controversy arising against women who adhere to the Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle. Some misguided critics genuinely believe that lovingly disciplined women are either abused by their men (by being brainwashed) or are willingly putting themselves forward as doormats. Less intelligent women may be forgiven, or even pitied for living such a lifestyle; judgemental individuals believing that she has been cajoled into an abusive relationship. Intelligent women are, however, difficult to dismiss, but their reasoned arguments outlining the merits of such a lifestyle tend to fall on deaf ears. Intelligent women are often ridiculed as being depraved and psychologically damaged individuals, who get their kicks out of subjecting themselves to discipline by their HOH. Such violent opposition can often make women living the LDD lifestyle very isolated.

It is a very hard job to convince non-LDD women of the many benefits such a lifestyle brings, especially if they have their minds made up on belittling women who engage in it. Men can be just as judgemental, but they don’t usually carry the same malicious remarks that some women carry. Sometimes, a lovingly disciplined woman can find that the male friends she was originally close to, become distant and aloof once she reveals her lifestyle to them. They can often raise their eye brows with astonishment and wonder why a woman of such intelligence would even consider such a way of life! Her female friends too, can shun her because of her chosen lifestyle. Some may even seem supportive, but this can often be a ploy since their intent may be on collecting damaging information, in order to spread nasty rumours about her. Such loss of friends and rejection can wear heavy on a LDD woman. She may even find herself questioning whether the feelings from deep within her are indeed normal and healthy feminine desires.

It actually takes a great deal of intelligence to research into the finer meanings behind LDD. In order to have a good grip on what is happening, both internally (from within the psyche) and externally (the many outer improvements in her behaviour and attitude) the woman would need to be capable of analysing these benefits and experiencing them at close hand. Without detailed analysis and research, she would never be truly convinced. Although much of the finer dynamics of the Loving Domestic Discipline are instinctual, without intelligence a woman could never adopt a LDD lifestyle. This is because to give her consent it requires both a period of introspection and research. This is so that she can then feel the commitment into a male-led relationship is something that she has freely chosen and had not been coerced into.

The modern world can be both friendless and empty. Some women learn in their early adulthood that it is necessary to protect their femininity under a masculine layer, whilst others want to annihilate their femininity altogether. During the early teens it is suddenly not cool to wear pretty dresses or skirts. Emo, grunge, rapper, punk or rock/biker-chick styles of music and dress, start the process of hardening the vulnerable young woman. Even those of us who have escaped or outgrown the social pressures of youth, are subjected to aimlessly following the social pressures of adulthood. Many women are pressured into following what is considered to be acceptable and even desirable paths to success. Women are taught during their early socialisation to compete against men in very aggressive and dominating ways, so that they can ensure more successful positions at work. Pretty soon women lose complete touch with what it is to be female. They even continue with their masculine personas, whilst they try and compete for absolute control within their home.

The fact that women become hardened emotionally and made to act like men, is a direct result of society. Society destroys every positive aspect of the female psyche. It tries to destroy everything of beauty, innocence and wonder. Femininity is crushed, distorted, ridiculed and damned by the society in which we live. It is, therefore, little wonder why people fail to understand that women in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship are not weak or stupid, but have strong, independent characters and intelligent minds.

Loving Domestic Discipline is not trying to recreate the past. It is not interested in returning to the 1950’s where wife discipline was common practise. However, it must be acknowledged that all that was good and wholesome in society, was destroyed as soon as the 1960’s emerged. In many ways society is still recovering from the aftermath of the 60’s. Loving Domestic Discipline focuses onto the very good aspects of the 1950’s and modifies it. An example of such changes carried forward into LDD, is that every relationship must be consensual. Without consent it would otherwise be considered abuse.

A large proportion of women living this lifestyle are professional, well educated women. Many in fact leave their high powered jobs, in order to concentrate their efforts on their homes and families. Any woman living this lifestyle, would need to understand the mechanics of Loving Domestic Discipline to be prepared to go against the societal norms. In fact, it takes a very strong minded woman indeed to stand up for her beliefs and stand against the wave of opposition against her.

Submission is not at all passive. It takes a great deal of self analysis to realise that Loving Domestic Discipline is a natural progression evolving from the inter-play of masculine and feminine energies. It takes a lot of careful introspection to truly realise that such a lifestyle can only bring harmony and a deeper love into a relationship. Women engaging in a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship would have to be very much in touch with their inner selves. They would need to be in touch with the driving force inside them and (despite social opposition) are confident to listen to their inner needs rather than trying to suppress them.

One of the numerous benefits gained through living a Loving Domestic Discipline relationship is that women automatically become in touch with their inner psyches – they become in touch with what it truly feels like to be female. For so long society has suppressed this natural expression of their femininity, so much so, that when they are finally put in to contact with their womanhood, they tend to find the deep inner peace, trust and wonderment that once surrounded them when they were small children. The one great benefit of Loving Domestic Discipline is that it automatically helps women experience the more gentle side of their femininity. After all, women are naturally submissive and LDD facilitates deeper levels of their submissive tendencies where women find themselves becoming evermore gentle and yielding.

Some people think that LDD is just one of the many versions of BDSM, but this is simply not true. Many BDSM’ers flirt with a darker side. Some may dress up in leather and whip each other with chains. They are attracted to the darkness; it is exciting, exhilarating, titillating and even daring. There is a theatrical element to BDSM, where many players are tied, suspended or placed in cages in dark sinister rooms called dungeons. Loving Domestic Discipline on the other hand, is nothing like this at all. Primarily, LDD is not theatrical and does not use gruesome objects of torture or eerie looking rooms. LDD happens in every day surroundings and the practitioners are attracted to the light not the dark. The fear element is not evoked by the darkness or frightening looking objects; rather the fear emerges from knowing that your behaviour has caused your HOH pain. The actual excitement in LDD is in being good – not bad. By being told that you are a “good girl” by your HOH or by another man in authority sends a shiver of excitement and pleasure through the submissive woman. Every girl wants to be a good at heart, no matter how intelligent or successful she is. Her HOH holds her accountable for her actions, so that if she does slip up, she will be disciplined and placed immediately back in touch with her femininity to being his good, sweet, loving girl once again. Loving Domestic Discipline is very self-contained; there are standards, values and expectations. If rules are broken, then it is through discipline that the woman is quickly brought back to a submissive, contrite, nurturing and feminine state of mind and heart.

Even some of the most intelligent women, find it difficult to talk about the spanking part of their relationship. Their long and lonely struggles, of secretly yearning for such a relationship, will very often have caused them to build strong defences around their vulnerable femininities. Many lovingly disciplined women would rather opt for discussing submission, obedience or respect amongst themselves, or in the presence of other HOH’s. Such behaviour is quite understandable, considering that the wall of defence they had to build, was a result of being told that they ebb outside the social norms. Society has made such women believe that they are abnormal, perverted individuals, with desires akin to fetishes and not natural, normal feminine needs. Even the most confident, successful or intelligent woman would be made to feel real shame for harbouring secret thoughts on desiring to be spanked.
Eventually, however, with the continual and regular implementation of LDD, the woman’s barriers of defence eventually weaken and break. As she comes into contact with her true womanhood she is no longer ashamed, but proud. Once her true femininity is uncovered by LDD she becomes liberated. She becomes liberated from the very core of her femininity, where she exudes with greater confidence and freedom of expression.